Sweet Caroline

by Becky Lower

  “I’m trying, Grant, but saying goodbye to my past is not that easy.” She stood.

  He vaulted to his feet as well. He coiled an arm around her to keep her with him.

  She shrugged him off. “I’m doing the best I can to go forward with my life. I enjoy being with you. If I were to get involved with anyone, I’d choose you.” She shook her head, not making eye contact. “But memories travel even if they weren’t invited or packed, and I am having a hard time with the relationship side of my new life.”

  Maybe all hope was not lost if she admitted she’d choose him. “So throw me a bone here, Caro. Tell me by summertime we’ll be a couple, and I’ll hang in.” He helped her into her coat since she struggled to find a sleeve.

  She faced him and took a deep breath. “You’re a wonderful man, Grant. I had a crush on you as a teenager, and I really admire the man you’ve become. As for a timeline to intimacy, I can’t give you that. Maybe we need to cool our relationship for a while and reassess.”

  “Don’t you mean retreat?” The anger crept back into his voice. This time, he didn’t even try to mask his fury.

  She recoiled as if she’d been slapped. The tears she’d been holding back finally escaped and cascaded down her cheeks.

  He raised a hand to brush them off, regretting having pushed her to the point of making her cry.

  Frowning, she plucked away his hand. “If that’s the way you see things, maybe we don’t have a chance at a future.”

  “At least let me see you home.” He grabbed his coat.

  “No, I need to be alone. Maybe forever.”

  Her whispered last words sent shivers through him. Grant kept his gaze on her while she scurried away. He sank back into his seat, chilled even in front of the toasty blaze and with his fingers wrapped around a cup of hot chocolate. How had their conversation, not to mention their relationship, fallen so far, and so fast? What had just happened? Had he come at her too hard, too quickly? He hoped to wear her down by being supportive and aware. Maybe he needed another tactic. Maybe he should decide if she was even worth another attempt.

  She had been correct about one thing. He needed to reassess, too.

  ****

  Caroline rushed down the sidewalk, tears cascading down her cheeks. What had she done? Hurt the feelings of one of the most wonderful men she’d ever met—the first man she’d ever been in love with. When she’d thought about moving here nearly two months ago, she’d hesitated because she’d have to see Grant every now and again. Despite their past, they’d grown into an adult relationship which was warm and enticing and left her craving more each time they were together. Now she feared she’d destroyed their budding friendship, and she’d still have to see him around town.

  Maybe she should give up on small town life and relocate again. Not back to Ohio. She had nothing left in that particular state. Florida? Be near her folks? Not a good idea. They had their own lives. While they enjoyed having her visit, the few times she’d stayed longer than a couple days she could sense them chafing at the disruption in their routine.

  What about the desert southwest? Or Texas? Maybe, if she kept running, she’d distance herself from the ghost of what had been. From the ghost of what could have been.

  She took the stairs to her apartment two at a time. When she got to the landing, instead of heading inside, she sat on the top step and stared at her surroundings through her tears. In the short amount of time she’d been here, Lobster Cove had burrowed into her heart. She enjoyed small town life, where people were friendly with each other and took the time to say hello or stop to chat when they passed you on the sidewalk. She’d fallen easily into the circle of friends Abbey and Penny had cultivated over the years, just as they’d accepted her during her summer visits here long ago.

  “Well, you’ve really screwed up things now.” Caroline chastised herself through her gritted teeth. The chilly air finally penetrated through her layers of clothes, and she got to her feet. One more glance at her town, at the vacant parking lot where she’d been hoping, despite the cold shoulder she’d shown him, Grant would have followed her, and she let herself inside. She put her back to the door and pounded her head on the wood. To go somewhere else would be a disaster. Because if she did, she’d then be running from two ghosts.

  “Stop crying, for God’s sake.” She hissed as she wiped her cheeks and took a deep breath, inhaling the salty Maine air, which wended its way even indoors. After learning of Michael’s death, she’d cried more than she thought humanly possible for months. Certain she’d depleted her lifetime tear quotient, her hot, bitter tears now proved to be a shock to her system. They proved she could feel for another again, and that other person was Grant, who had been nothing but kind since she’d arrived in Lobster Cove and who she’d just left high and dry. Her stomach cramped, and she bent over as a new bout of tears fell.

  Hours later, she’d calmed enough to sit by the small fireplace and enjoy one of the final fires of the season. The crackling of the wood and the warmth of the fire soothed her jagged nerves. And although she still had a hitch in her breathing from crying so hard, her mind had the ability to process thought again, and her stomach finally unclenched.

  She would stay in the Cove as long as her cousins would put up with her. She’d nearly finished her work at the school, finalizing a simplified version of how to navigate the complex system mandated by Maine law for the school. The last step toward implementation, instructing the teachers on how to use the program, would take place over the next few weeks. So, she’d have no choice but to see Grant again when he showed up for training. That is, if he even bothered to take advantage of the offered one-on-one training. Once she got free of the school, she’d have no reason to come into contact with him again.

  Her stomach twisted at the thought of life in Lobster Cove without Grant and how complicated it could become. He and Del were good friends, but she could choose not to participate in any parties where he would be invited. With a little effort on her part, they could coexist. They’d run into each other now and again on the streets or in one of the restaurants and nod. Yes, with a concentrated effort, she could handle being in the same town.

  How would she feel the first time she encountered him on a date, though? The thought of another woman taking her place made her hands curl into fists. She glanced down at her bunched hands and straightened them out carefully, one finger at a time. Obviously, her body needed time to catch up to the rational plan her mind had invented. She stared at the fire and rubbed the ache in her chest. Maybe her plan wasn’t as sound as she first thought. A few flaws existed in her line of reasoning, but right now, she could come up with no other.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Grant stood in a quiet corner of Murphy’s Bar—as if any corner of Murphy’s could be considered quiet on a Friday night. The rough-hewn bar had always been a magnet for fishermen once they finished with a long week’s work on the water. The shabby place also drew in the tourists searching for some local color, as well as other residents in search of fun, a drink, a game of darts, or pool with their buddies. When he wandered in, Grant hadn’t been searching for a good time. He only hoped to drink himself numb.

  Jessica Armentrout, a local and in her first year of teaching alongside him at the high school, sidled over and put her back to the wall alongside Grant.

  He tipped his beer bottle in her direction. “Jessica, nice to see ya.” His words sounded slurry. He ran his hand over his mouth, his lips thick and rubbery.

  She clinked her beer bottle against his. “You haven’t been to Murphy’s in a while. I’ve missed you. Did you tire of the Ohio transplant?”

  “No. Just takin’ a breather.” He swallowed another sip of the tangy local beer.

  “I noticed she’s still hanging around at school.” She gave him a sidelong glance.

  “A’course she is. That’s where she works.” Grant ran his hand over his eyes—tired of the beer, of the topic, of Jessica.

  “She’s only a
t school because of you, Grant. Any idiot can see that. Why don’t you blow her off completely and spread some love to a local girl?” Jessica slid closer, brushed her body against his and wrapped her arm around him. “I’m up for taking her place.”

  Surprised out of his stupor, he stared at Jessica. “You’re just a kid!”

  Her mouth morphed into a pout, the sides drooping like a sail that had lost the wind. She latched onto one of his hands and forced him to touch her waist so he could feel her curves. “I’m no longer only Tommy Armentrout’s little sister, Grant. I’ve been hot for you since I turned twelve and figured out the difference between boys and girls. Why don’t we get things started tonight?”

  He jerked away. His brain tried to process her actions, but he had trouble with the scene. He’d noticed her blossoming body when she returned home from college one summer. Grant had been at the Armentrout house for the evening and, flattered as he’d been by her interest, he hadn’t done anything. She’d been a pretty girl and as his blurry gaze now slid down her body, he admitted she’d grown into a very attractive woman. But her hair had a dark sheen, as did so many Maine residents, not blonde.

  If he had taken her up on her unspoken invitation a few years ago, he would have had to answer to Tommy. Not much had changed since that night except her invitation had been voiced this time loud and clear, hanging in the air between them. He probably wouldn’t have to answer to Tommy now either. Why don’t we get things started?

  Why not indeed? Caroline had told him to buzz off. He didn’t need to be loyal. In fact, she’d probably breathe a sigh of relief if he did hook up with someone else. But with Jessica? He cast her a sidelong glance. She presented an attractive package, but he’d grown beyond being wowed by someone’s physicality. She hoped for a quick tumble. He hoped for a forever. “Sorry, Jess. I’m not the guy for you. Not in the market for a one-night-stand.” He canted himself away from the wall. Away from her.

  “Who said anything about a one-nighter? I’ve lived in the Cove all my life, just as you have. I get things about you that Caroline never could. We have a history together, and we could have a lot of fun.”

  She pursed her lips suggestively and glued herself to his arm. He inhaled her heavy scent, which overpowered him. Not floral, not at all attractive. “You’re ten years younger than me, Jess.” He pried her fingers off his arm in a reverse finger roll. “A whole lot about my growin’ up years you could never grasp.”

  She grabbed him by his hair, tugged down his face and kissed him.

  Hard and greedy. He couldn’t help but compare this kiss to Caroline’s pliant, passionate one. He took a step back.

  “You enjoyed that, right?” Jessica crowed and pumped a fist. “I can grasp enough, Grant. I want you. Have for years. So does every other single female teacher in the school. And some of the married ones, too. We all hate to see you wasting your time with the Stuart woman.”

  “Sorry, Jessica. You don’t understand.” He set his half-finished beer on an empty table and strode out of Murphy’s on unsteady legs into the chilly April air.

  How could he expect Jessica to figure out his behavior? He couldn’t make heads or tails of his own thoughts. What did he really hope for with Caroline? He’d been aware some of the women at school had expressed an interest—both faculty and students who developed their little crushes—and had struck a fine balance of friendliness without inviting more. Or so he’d thought. Putting his job, and by consequence, his reputation, in jeopardy by fishing in the company pool had been something he’d avoided so far. He had no intention of starting now. Especially with Jessica.

  Caroline differed from the rest of the staff in so many ways. Not exactly a faculty member, and certainly not a student. He had been drawn to her charms from the time they were fifteen and never forgot the innocent fun they’d had before he’d made a mess of things. Well, he’d grown up and could correct his mistakes. Backing away from Jessica’s invitation had been the first step. He’d give Caroline all the time she needed to figure out the only man for her stood right in front of her.

  Now if he could just find his way home.

  ****

  Caroline spent the next week at school instructing the teachers how to use the program. Some of the faculty pored through the instruction booklet she’d created and figured out things on their own. The remainder who were in need of training showed up in her office during their free periods with questions, so she kept busy every afternoon. One of the youngest teachers, Jessica Armentrout, had just left.

  Jessica opened the conversation even before she sat beside Caroline. “Grant and I got together last Friday at Murphy’s.”

  “That’s nice.” Caroline’s stomach knotted at the thought of Grant and Jessica having beers and whatever else, together. “In a small town, the faculty needs to get along well enough to meet and be cordial to each other outside of the enforced school-related activities.”

  Jessica tossed her long brunette hair over her shoulder. “Oh, yeah, Grant and I get along very well together. We always have.” Her voice purred.

  Her heart pounded against her rib cage as Caroline fought to control the quaver in her voice. “Do you want to discuss the computer program, or have you just come here to waste my time? To gloat?”

  “I don’t need your help in either case, Stuart. I’ve been using computers all my life. You may have snowed Mrs. Edwards into giving you this job, but I don’t need your help to figure out how to add my columns.” She tossed her hair again. “I’ve come to give you a warning.” Jessica stood and hovered over her, their faces only inches apart. She stuck her finger into Caroline’s cheek. “Back away from Grant. We Lobster Cove ladies don’t much appreciate outsiders making waves in the shallow pool of the town’s eligible men. Especially not the good-looking ones.” She reversed her steps finally and backed out of the room.

  Jessica’s unwillingness to turn her back gave the impression she was afraid Caroline would shoot a dagger into her back. Which is what she’d have done had one been handy. Caroline stroked her cheek where Jessica’s finger left an indentation. If the woman had been with Grant last Friday but still needed to come here to give a warning that must mean things hadn’t gone the way Jessica hoped. Which gave Caroline hope.

  Each knock on the door for the past few days had raised her heart rate, since she expected Grant to show every time. So far, she’d been disappointed. She hadn’t spoken to him in days, even though her fingers hovered over his number on her cell more times than she cared to admit. She’d told him she needed time and that she needed to be alone. He’d respected her wishes, staying as far away as he could get. A perfect gentleman, as always, he’d given her exactly what she’d asked for. What she thought she needed.

  So, why did each passing day stretch out as if an eternity? Why did each time she caught a glimpse of him in the hallways he had females around him, both students and faculty? She told herself she wasn’t bothered seeing him with other replacement women, but in actuality, her hands balled into fists each time, and her stomach knotted. She bounced a pencil on her desk as she stared at the computer screen. Jessica had driven home Caroline’s inconsistent feelings and given her a lot to ponder.

  A knock on her door made her hand jump, and the pencil clattered to the floor. She blinked to refocus her eyes and glanced up into the friendly face of Mrs. Edwards. Her breath released a shallow bit at a time.

  “How’s the training been so far? Have you had many teachers stop in?” Mrs. Edwards smiled.

  Caroline picked up the wayward pencil before she straightened and brushed a hand over her hair. She noticed Mrs. Edwards’ smile was the one Grant dubbed her ‘principal smile’ reserved for good students. “Just about every period, one or two teachers at a time have come to my door. So yes, the transition to the new system is moving along well.”

  Mrs. Edwards rubbed her hands together. “Good. I’m glad they’re taking advantage of your expertise.” She took a seat in front of the desk.

&n
bsp; Caroline lowered the computer screen in order to make eye contact, wondering what else Mrs. Edwards had to say.

  “I’ve worked through the instruction booklet you’ve put together on my own, and I’m pleased with your efforts. You’ve taken a complex program and broken down the whole mess into simple segments even I can understand.” Mrs. Edwards smiled again.

  Caroline sat straighter.

  “Now when you’re not here, I can answer any questions that might arise from the teachers.”

  Caroline blinked. Her stay here at school had been a temporary job, and this visit from Mrs. Edwards reminded her of that fact. The chance to see Grant on a daily basis had just evaporated. One more part of her life in Lobster Cove had come to an end. She studied the wood grain in the desk, tracing the patterns with her fingers. “Would you mind if I stay on until the end of the week? A few teachers still need training.”

  Mrs. Edwards crossed her legs at the ankles, obviously in no hurry to leave. “I’m not here to bid you farewell if that’s what your brain is coming up with. I’m here to offer you a full-time position.”

  Caroline lifted her head and stared at the woman. “Doing what, pray tell?”

  “Our entire method of handling administrative chores, from ordering supplies to creating payroll, is a very antiquated system that’s been patched together over the years. We could use your expertise to get us up-to-date. Bring this school into the twenty-first century.” Mrs. Edwards waved her hands. “And once you’re done updating the office side of things, you could start teaching a class in computer science for our kids who will need your kind of expertise to get jobs once they graduate.”

  A host of butterflies started a soccer match in her stomach and Caroline sputtered, “But I’m not a teacher. I’m a programmer.”

  Mrs. Edwards deflected Caroline’s response with another wave. “You do have a college degree, don’t you?”

  Unable to catch her breath, Caroline nodded. “Yes. But not in education.”