A Chili Death: A Classic Diner Mystery

by Jessica Beck

  The sheriff considered it, and then nodded. “I’ll see what I can do. Maybe we can give it back to you by two o’clock tomorrow afternoon.”

  “Eleven would be better,” Moose said strongly.

  “But we’ll appreciate whatever we get,” I said before the sheriff could change his mind. “Moose, can I see you outside?”

  “What? What can you not say in here?”

  “Just come with me,” I said as I took his hand. Greg raised an eyebrow in my direction, but I shook my head. I had to do this on my own.

  Once we were outside, I asked, “Moose, what were you thinking just now?”

  He looked surprised by my tone of voice. “What are you talking about?”

  “This is not the time to bluster and bully. We need the sheriff on our side, and your demands aren’t helping any. We’ve got to play this cool and not cause any waves. Do you understand me?”

  “Nobody tells me what I can and cannot do with my diner,” he stated firmly.

  “Whose diner is it?” I asked softly.

  “I know you’re running the place now,” he said reluctantly, “but don’t forget, I started it in the first place.”

  “I’m not disputing that,” I said as I put a hand on his chest. “But neither one of us can afford to have an attitude, not right now. If you can’t behave yourself, you might serve the family best by going home right now and letting cooler heads prevail.”

  He laughed at that, not the reaction that I was expecting at all. “Are you threatening to throw me out of the diner I started, Victoria?”

  “Me?” I asked as innocently as I could. “We both know that I’d never do that, Moose.”

  He just shook his head, but I saw that the wry smile was still there. “Fine. You’ve made your point, and I get the picture.”

  “So, you’re going home?”

  “Not on your life,” he said with a laugh, “but I will promise to try to behave myself.”

  “Thank you,” I said as I reached up and kissed him.

  “You’re a great deal like your grandmother. You know that, don’t you?”

  “That’s just about the nicest thing you could say to me,” I admitted.

  “And don’t I know it. Now let’s get back inside before that husband of yours dies from the curiosity building up inside him.”

  I glanced in at the booth where Greg was still sitting and saw that he was so close to the edge of the bench seat that he was in real danger of falling off altogether. Looping my arm in Moose’s, I led him back inside, and as he took a seat across from where Greg was sitting, I found my husband staring at me with something akin to awe. I winked at him, but did my best not to let Moose see it. We were all on dangerous ground at the moment, and I didn’t want to do anything that might disturb the delicate balance we’d just hammered out.

  Mom and Martha came into the diner a few minutes later, and we were all sitting around our largest booth when Sheriff Croft came out of the kitchen.

  “I see you’ve called a family meeting,” he said as he nodded to my mother and grandmother. “Ladies, it’s nice to see you both, despite the circumstances.”

  “You as well,” Martha said.

  I thought about chiding the sheriff for not looking at me when he’d said the word ‘ladies,’ but then I took to heart the lecture I’d given Moose. I decided to let it slide, much to my husband’s surprise. Well, it didn’t hurt to throw him off every now and then, either.

  “This is a terrible tragedy,” my grandmother said.

  “It’s unfortunate,” Croft agreed.

  “How are you planning on getting the body out?” Moose asked.

  “Moose,” my grandmother said, admonishing him gently.

  “Hey, it’s not going to do our diner’s reputation any good for any of our customers to see a corpse being wheeled out of the place, wouldn’t you agree?”

  “Don’t worry. We’ve got that covered, Moose. I asked the ambulance to move around back, and after we get a few more photos and some more video footage, we’ll be removing it out the back door. I’m glad you are all here. I’ve got some questions to ask.”

  “Not without an attorney present,” my father said.

  “Joe, we have nothing to hide,” Moose said.

  “I appreciate the fact that you feel that way, Dad, but I still think it couldn’t hurt to be represented before we start answering questions.”

  My grandfather just shrugged, and then he said something under his breath.

  I caught it, but I was certain my grandmother had not.

  “What did you just say?” she asked Moose.

  When he didn’t answer, I said, “He mentioned that Holly advised the same thing.”

  Moose stared at me a second, and then said, “Rat.”

  “Hey, if you don’t have the guts to repeat it, don’t say it in the first place,” I answered.

  “Are we talking about Judge Dixon?” Sheriff Croft asked, clearly surprised by this turn of events.

  “She’s our legal advisor,” Moose said.

  “So, it appears that we’re at a stalemate, Sheriff,” Greg said.

  He sighed loudly, and then said, “Folks, I’m not trying to railroad you all into anything. There are just some things I need to know so that I can move forward with my investigation.”

  “Are you offering us immunity?” my mother asked softly.

  “What? No, of course not.” He seemed to think about it for a moment or two, and then said, “How about this? I’ll ask you questions all at the same time. You can confer among yourselves if you’d like before you answer me. This is all pretty innocent.”

  “For a murder investigation, you mean?” I asked. I looked around at my family, and said, “I’m game if you all are. What do you all say?”

  Everybody nodded their assent, with the exception of my father.

  “Motion carried,” I said, and then shot a look of condolence toward my father.

  “It’s on your heads,” he said. “Don’t say that I didn’t try to warn you.”

  “You won’t hear it from me,” Moose said, which I suspected was a big fat lie. My grandfather happened to conveniently forget the things he wanted to, while remembering in perfectly crisp detail those things that fell in his favor.

  “What’s your first question?” I asked the sheriff.

  “When did any of you last see the deceased?”

  “That had to be when I found his body in the freezer,” I said.

  “That’s not what I meant. When was the last time any of you saw him alive?”

  “Hang on a second,” Greg said. “Don’t answer that, Victoria.”

  “Why not?” I asked.

  “Because I think it might be easier if we just tell him what we figured out while we were sitting here together waiting for him.”

  I thought about it, and then nodded. “You’re right. Go ahead and tell him.”

  Greg explained, “Sheriff, I had an ice cream drop-off earlier today around four, so I had to open the delivery door. I thought I locked it back when they left, but the latch must have caught on something, and it was still unlocked when Victoria and her mother discovered my mistake around seven.”

  “So, there were three hours when someone could have slipped in, killed Howard Lance, and then slipped out again.”

  “You’ve clearly never worked in a diner’s kitchen,” Moose said. “It’s as busy as a four ring circus back here.”

  “Not necessarily,” I said, hating to contradict my grandfather, especially when it only hurt us. “Greg and I had lunch out front from around five to five thirty. If you’re looking for a time of death, I’m guessing that’s going to line up pretty closely, unless the cold temperature throws off the coroner when he performs the autopsy.”

  “What do you know about autopsies?” the sheriff asked me.

  “I read a lot, and it’s eclectic,” I said. “It’s amazing the kind of odd tidbits I pick up. Tell me I’m wrong.”

  As he stroked his c
hin, he said, “No, I can’t do that. It’s most likely that your time line is closer than anything science is going to be able to come up with, given the circumstances.”

  “Then we were of help to you,” Mom said.

  “Sure, that’s good information to have,” he said. “I’ll rephrase my question, given what you just told me. Where were each of you between five and five thirty this afternoon?”

  “I already told you. Greg and I were out here eating,” I said, “and there are half a dozen folks who can testify to that. We’re in the clear.”

  I was feeling pretty proud of myself when he said, “Not so fast. Victoria, as much as I hate to admit it, I can see another scenario playing out here.”

  “Go on. I’m listening,” I said.

  “What if Howard came in between four and five? He confronted you, you killed him, and your husband helped you stash him in the freezer. You pretended nothing happened until you conveniently discovered the body later.”

  “Have you completely lost your mind?” Moose asked as he started angrily toward the sheriff.

  My dad was too quick for him, though. “Hang on a second, Dad. You’re not going to be able to do us any good if you’re sitting in a jail cell being charged with assaulting an officer of the law.”

  Moose turned away, and the sheriff said, “Thanks for that.”

  My father turned on him then, and said, “Don’t thank me for anything just yet. I’d like to punch your lights out myself for implying that my daughter was involved in this in any way. You are way out of line, Sheriff, and this group interview is over.”

  “It’s over when I say it is,” Sheriff Croft said firmly.

  “If you want to hold us, you’ll have to arrest us,” Martha said as she stood. “Family, let’s go. We’re leaving.”

  The sheriff was clearly flabbergasted by my grandmother’s stand, but he made no move to stop us as we walked out together.

  “This is most disturbing,” Martha said. “It appears that our family is going to be at the center of the police’s investigation of this murder.”

  “The problem is that we know that none of us did it, but it’s going to be hard to prove,” Greg said, and Moose put an arm around my husband’s shoulder for a moment in support.

  “But we have to convince them that we’re innocent,” my dad said. “Does anyone have any idea how we might do that?”

  “It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it?” I asked.

  “Enlighten me,” Dad said.

  “If nobody else is trying to solve this case without focusing on our family, then we’re just going to have to do it ourselves.”

  There were a few murmurs of assent, and then Martha nodded. “Agreed. We’ll reconvene at our house and decide on an order of business. Victoria, you’re the crime fiction lover among us. Will you be the head of our unofficial investigation?”

  “I’d be happy to,” I said, “but solving crimes written by novelists isn’t the same as solving them in real life.”

  “You’ve got an analytical mind,” Moose said. “I agree with my wife. You’re the boss, at least as far as this murder investigation goes.” He looked around at the others, and asked, “Are there any objections from anyone about this?”

  I was proud when my entire family agreed, but I also felt the burden of this decision. It appeared that it was going to be up to me to lead this crazy group and hunt down a killer.

  I just hoped that I was up to the task.

  We were about to leave the diner’s parking lot when the front door opened. “Hang on a second,” the sheriff said.

  When he joined us, he said, “I know you people, and I consider you all friends, but I don’t want you digging around in this murder yourselves, do you understand me?”

  “What gave you the idea that we’d do that?” I asked as innocently as I could muster.

  “Like I said, I know you.”

  “If we want to dig into this murder, you can’t stop us,” Moose said, clearly irritated by the sheriff’s attempt to stifle our investigation before it even got started.

  “Maybe not,” he said as he scratched his chin, “but you have to admit that I could make life pretty unpleasant for all of you.”

  “Be reasonable,” I said. “We all know that we’re in this up to our necks. Folks in this town like you, but there are quite a few who aren’t going to give you the time of day when you start asking questions, and you know it. Why not use us instead of banning us from investigating?”

  “Because none of you are trained police officers,” he said, his voice getting a little heated.

  “Don’t you see, though? That’s an advantage, in this case.”

  “Stop trying to appease him, Victoria. He’s not going to budge, and neither am I,” Moose said.

  The sheriff thought about it, and the finally said, “You’re not going to let me talk you out of this, are you?”

  Moose stood proudly as he shook his head. We came from a long line of dissenters, and he was doing his best to make our ancestors proud.

  The sheriff looked around, and then let out a heavy sigh. “If any of you breathes a single word of this to anyone else, our deal’s off. One of you, and I mean one, can do a little nosing around the edges. Stay out of my way, and I’ll stay out of yours. If you find one small speck of something that might be evidence, you are to bring it directly to me. Moose, I assume that you’re the one who will be investigating.”

  “No, sir, not me. We already voted, and Victoria’s running this operation.”

  I didn’t know how to respond to that, but I didn’t have to. He turned to Greg before I could reply and asked, “Do you feel good letting your wife confront a killer all by herself?”

  “She won’t be alone,” Greg said. “If she goes anywhere, I’m going to be right there beside her.”

  Moose stepped in at that moment. “Greg, I’m sure that Victoria appreciates your commitment to her, but most of the folks involved in the original deal are old codgers like me. We go way back, and I know where all of the skeletons are buried. I won’t let anything happen to her. You have my word on that,” he said as he stuck out his hand.

  To his credit, Greg looked at me before he moved another muscle. “What do you think about that, Victoria?”

  “He’s right. It’s got to be the two of us.”

  “Why can’t Moose do it alone?” Greg asked.

  I looked at my husband as I said, “It shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone standing here that Moose has a tendency to shoot first and ask for explanations later.” I turned to my grandfather and added, “Do you disagree with that?”

  “What can I say? I believe in getting straight to the point,” Moose said.

  “It might be an admirable trait normally,” I said, “but this calls for something more subtle than a brick between the eyes. I won’t do it if you don’t let me ask the questions. Are we agreed?”

  He took a moment, and then nodded. “That’s fine.”

  The sheriff just shook his head. “I should be locked up for agreeing to this, but I’ve got a hunch that I’m going to need all of the help I can get. Do me a favor and don’t do anything that risks your lives. I couldn’t stand wading through the paperwork if something happened to either one of you.”

  He walked back inside, and I turned to the rest of my family. “I didn’t mean to exclude you all, but I have a hunch the sheriff was going to withdraw his offer if I didn’t agree to just the two of us investigating. Is that acceptable?”

  “As it can be,” Greg said as he hugged me. Mom and Dad joined in, and Martha hugged Moose.

  She said soft enough for all us to hear, “If anything happens to my granddaughter, you might as well keep on going and not show your face around here ever again. Do we understand each other, Moose?”

  I glanced over and saw my grandfather nodding solemnly. “Yes, Ma’am.”

  “Then, that’s settled. Let’s go home and have a brainstorming session together. Just because we can’t help activ
ely investigate doesn’t mean that we can’t put our heads together and come up with some kind of plan of attack.”

  After working together as a family late into the night, Moose and I had a list of suspects to speak with in the morning. Dad was going to work as usual, ready to help at a moment’s notice if he was needed, while Greg and Mom planned to work together at our place for the same reason. While they were there waiting together in case we needed them, they were going to work on some new recipes for The Charming Moose, so it wasn’t as though they would be sitting around twiddling their thumbs.

  Moose and I would be tackling a pretty thorough list, one that included Hank Brewer, Cynthia Wilson, Bob Chastain, and Francie Humphries. If anyone else got our attention, we’d tackle them as well, but for the moment, we had more than enough that we had to do.

  At least the diner was closed. I hated the loss of income and inconveniencing our regular patrons, but it would allow us to focus on the investigation and not worry about who would have to be there to take my place. I wasn’t exactly essential to the daily operation of the diner, but I was there more than anyone else, and my presence would be missed.

  Chapter 5

  “Where should we start?” I asked Moose the next morning as I climbed into his battered old pickup truck. He’d come by to collect me, and I’d heard him coming with that battered old muffler of his three blocks away from the house. His truck had once been a subdued shade of red, but those days were long gone. Moose liked to repaint any faded spots or repairs with whatever can of spray paint he had on hand, and it had become a tie-dyed explosion over the years. He could have driven a brand new vehicle if he’d wanted to, but my grandfather said that this one suited him, and who was I to disagree?

  “I thought we’d pop in on Francie first thing this morning,” he said as he headed in the direction of her shop, a bakery she’d named simply, Iced. It allowed her to have a lot of fun with the name in the shop, decorating the windows with overblown images of snowflakes year-round. The walls and ceiling inside had been painted a uniform shade of pale blue, and white icicles had been painted randomly hanging down the sides. It almost gave you a chill when you walked inside. Fake diamonds were scattered around the place as well, with large ones the size of a man’s fist glued to the register. She didn’t need the cutesy theme, though; her cakes and cupcakes were known throughout most of North Carolina, and her cookies were not that far behind.