Blameless

by Gail Carriger

Page 12

 

  “There is something different about you?” The man adjusted his spectacles and contemplated Madame Lefoux for a moment through them. Apparently not pinpointing the enormous mustache draped atop the inventor’s upper lip as the culprit, he added, “Is that a new hat?”

  “Gustave, you never do change, do you? I hope you do not mind such an unexpected visit. ” Madame Lefoux addressed their host in the queen’s English, in deference to Alexia and Floote’s presence.

  The gentleman in question switched smoothly into Alexia’s native language as though it were a tongue as familiar to him as his own. In the same instant, he seemed to notice Alexia and Floote for the first time. “Not at al , not at al , I assure you. I adore the company. Always welcome. ” There was a tone to his voice and a twinkle to his blue-button eyes that suggested real truth to the social niceties. “And you have brought me guests! How marvelous. Delighted, delighted. ”

  Madame Lefoux made introductions. “Monsieur Floote and Madame Tarabotti, this is my dear cousin, Monsieur Trouvé. ”

  The clockmaker gave Floote a measured look and a smal bow. Floote returned both in kind, after which Alexia found herself the object of bespectacled scrutiny.

  “Not that Tarabotti?”

  Alexia would not go so far as to describe Monsieur Trouvé as shocked, but he was certainly something more than complacent. It was difficult to see the exact nature of his expression as, in addition to the ubiquitous mustache, the clockmaker also wore a golden-brown beard of such epic proportions as might dwarf a mulberry bush. It was as though his mustache had become overly enthusiastic and, seized with the spirit of adventure, set out to conquer the southern reaches of his face in a take-no-prisoners kind of way.

  “His daughter,” confirmed Madame Lefoux.

  “In truth?” The Frenchman looked to Floote, of al people, for confirmation.

  Floote nodded curtly—once.

  “Is it so very bad a thing, to be my father’s daughter?” Alexia wondered.

  Monsieur Trouvé raised both bushy eyebrows and smiled. It was a smal , shy smile that barely made it through the shrubbery of his beard. “I take it you never met your father? No, of course, you wouldn’t have, would you? Not possible. Not if you are his daughter. ” He looked at Madame Lefoux this time. “Is she real y?”

  Madame Lefoux dimpled at him. “Without question. ”

  The clockmaker brought his monocle up, peering through both it and his spectacles at Alexia. “Remarkable. A female preternatural. I never thought I would live to see the day.

  It is a true honor having you to visit, Madame Tarabotti. Genevieve, you always did bring me the most charming surprises. And trouble with them, of course, but we won’t talk about that now, wil we?”

  “Better than that, cousin—she is with child. And the father is a werewolf. How do you like that?”

  Alexia gave Madame Lefoux a sharp stare. They had not discussed revealing the personal details of her embarrassing condition to a French clockmaker!

  “I must sit down. ” Monsieur Trouvé groped without looking for a nearby chair and col apsed into it. He took a deep breath and then examined Alexia with even more interest. She wondered if he might try to wear the glassicals as well as the spectacles and the monocle.

  “You are certain?”

  Alexia bristled. She was so very tired of having her word questioned. “I assure you. I am quite certain. ”

  “Amazing,” said the clockmaker, seeming to recover some of his equanimity. “No offense meant, no offense. You are, you must realize, a marvel of the modern age. ” The monocle went back up. “Though, not so very much like your dear father. ”

  Alexia glanced tentatively at Floote and then asked Monsieur Trouvé, “Is there anyone who did not know my father?”

  “Oh, most people didn’t. He preferred things that way. But he dabbled in my circle, or I should say, my father’s circle. I met him only the once, and I was six at the time. I remember it well , however. ” The clockmaker smiled again. “He did have quite the habit of making an impression, your father, I must say. ”

  Alexia was unsure as to whether this comment had an underlying unsavory meaning or not. Then she realized it must. Given what little she knew of her father, a better question might be, to which form of unsavory meaning was the Frenchman al uding? Stil , she was positively dying of curiosity. “Circle?”

  “The Order. ”

  “My father was an inventor?” That surprised Alexia. She had never heard that about Alessandro Tarabotti. Al his journal entries indicated he was more a destroyer than a creator. Besides, by al accounts, preternaturals couldn’t real y invent anything. They lacked the necessary imagination and soul.

  “Oh, no, no. ” Monsieur Trouvé brushed two fingers through his beard thoughtful y.

  “More of an irregular customer. He always had the oddest requests. I remember, once, my uncle talking about how he actual y asked for a—” The clockmaker looked up at the doorway, apparently noticing something that made him stop. “Ah, yes, never mind. ”

  Alexia glanced over to see what had caused this gregarious fel ow to silence himself. But there was nothing there, only Floote, impassive as always, hands laced behind his back.

  Alexia looked to Madame Lefoux in mute appeal.

  The Frenchwoman was no help. Instead, she excused herself from the discussion.

  “Cousin, perhaps I could go find Cansuse for some tea?”

  “Tea?” Monsieur Trouvé looked taken aback. “Wel , if you must. Seems to me you have been in England too long, my dearest Genevieve. I should think such an occasion as this would require wine. Or perhaps brandy. ” He turned to Alexia. “Should I get out the brandy? You look as though you might need a bit of a pick-me-up, my dear. ”

  “Oh, no, thank you. Tea would be perfectly suitable. ” In truth, Alexia thought tea a bril iant idea. It had taken well over an hour to conduct their train subterfuge, and while she knew it was worth it, her stomach objected on principle. Ever since the onset of the infant-inconvenience, food was becoming an ever more pressing concern in some form or another. She had always pondered food overmuch for the safety of her waistline, but these days a good deal more of her attention was occupied with where it was, how soon she could get it, and, on the more embarrassing occasions, whether it would remain eaten or not. Yet another thing to blame on Conal . Who would have thought that anything could affect my eating habits?

  Madame Lefoux vanished from the room. There was an awkward pause while the clockmaker continued to stare at Alexia.

  “So,” Alexia began tentatively, “through which side of the family are you related to Genevieve?”

  “Oh, we aren’t actual y family. She and I went to school together—École des Arts et Métiers. You’ve heard of it? Of course you have. Natural y, at the time, she was a he—always did prefer to play the man, our Genevieve. ” There was a pause while bushy eyebrows descended in thought. “Aha, that is what is different! She is wearing that ridiculous fake mustache again. It has been a long time. You must be traveling incognito.

  What fun!”

  Alexia looked mildly panicked, unsure as to whether she should tel this affable man about danger of a vampiric persuasion heading in their direction.

  “Not to worry, I wouldn’t dare to pry. Regardless, I taught Genevieve everything she knows about clockwork mechanisms. And mustache maintenance, come to think on it.

  And a few other things of note. ” The clockmaker stroked his own impressive mustache with forefinger and thumb.

  Alexia didn’t quite fol ow his meaning. She was saved from having to continue the conversation by the return of Madame Lefoux.

  “Where is your wife?” the Frenchwoman demanded of their host.

  “Ah, yes, about that. Hortense slightly, well , died last year. ”

  “Oh. ” Madame Lefoux did not look particularly upset by this news, only surprised. “I am sorry.
”

  The clockmaker gave a smal shrug. “Hortense never was one for making a fuss.

  She caught a tiny cold down the Riviera way, and the next thing I knew, she had just given up and expired. ”

  Alexia wasn’t sure what to think of such a blasé attitude.

  “She was a bit of a turnip, my wife. ”

  Alexia decided to be mildly amused by his lack of sentiment. “How do you mean, turnip?”

  The clockmaker smiled again. Clearly, he had been hoping for that question. “Bland, good as a side dish, but real y only palatable when there is nothing better available. ”

  “Gustave, real y!” Madame Lefoux pretended shock.

  “But enough about me. Tel me more about yourself, Madame Tarabotti. ” Monsieur Trouvé scooted toward her.

  “What more should you like to know?” Alexia wanted to ask him more questions about her father but felt that the opportunity had passed.

  “Do you function the same as a male soul ess? Your ability to negate the supernatural, is it similar?”

  “Having never met any other living preternaturals, I always assumed so. ”

  “So, you would say, physical touch or very near proximity with a rapid reaction time on the part of the victim?”

  Alexia didn’t like the word “victim,” but his description of her abilities was accurate enough, so she nodded. “Do you make a study of us, then, Monsieur Trouvé?” Perhaps he could help with her pregnancy predicament.

  The man shook his head, his eyes crinkling up at the edges in amusement. Alexia was finding she did not mind the copious facial hair, because so much of the clockmaker’s expressions were centered in his eyes. “Oh, no, no. Far outside of my sphere of particular interest. ”

  Madame Lefoux gave her old school chum an assessing look. “No, Gustave, you never have been one for the aetheric sciences—not enough gadgetry. ”

  “I’m an aetheric science?” Alexia was mystified. In her experience as a bluestocking, such studies focused on the niceties of aetheronautics and supra-oxygenic travel, not preternaturals.

  A diminutive maid with a shy demeanor brought in the tea, or what Alexia supposed passed for tea in France. The maid was accompanied by a low tray of foodstuffs on wheels, which seemed to be somehow trailing her about the apartments. It made a familiar tinny skittering noise as it moved. When the maid bent to lift the tray up and place it on a table, Alexia emitted an involuntary squeak of alarm. Quite unaware of her own athletic abilities until that moment, she jumped over and behind the couch.

  Acting the part of footman in tonight’s French farce, she thought with a bubble of panicked hilarity, we have a homicidal mechanical ladybug.

  “Good lord, Madame Tarabotti, are you quite well ?”

  “Ladybug!” Alexia managed to squawk.

  “Ah, yes, a prototype for a recent order. ”

  “You mean, it is not trying to kil me?”

  “Madame Tarabotti, I assure you, in my own home, I should never be so uncouth as to kil someone with a ladybug. ”

  Alexia came cautiously back out from behind the couch and watched warily as the large mechanical beetle, al unconcerned for her palpitating heart, trundled after the maid and back out into the hal .

  “Your artisanship, I take it?”

  “Indeed. ” The Frenchman looked proudly after the retreating bug.

  “I have encountered it before. ”

  Madame Lefoux turned accusing eyes onto Monsieur Trouvé. “Cousin, I thought you preferred not to design weapons!”

  “I do! And I must say I resent the implication. ”

  “Wel , the vampires have turned them into such,” Alexia said. “I experienced a whole herd of homicidal ladybugs, sent to poke me in a carriage. Those very antennae that yours was using to carry the tea tray had been replaced with syringes. ”

  “And one exploded when I went to examine it,” added Madame Lefoux.

  “How perfectly dreadful. ” The clockmaker frowned. “Ingenious, of course, but not my modifications, I assure you. I must apologize to you, dear lady. These things always seem to happen when dealing with vampires. Although it is hard to refuse such consistent customers with such prompt accounting. ”

  “Can you reveal the name of your client, cousin?”

  The clockmaker frowned. “American gentleman. A Mr. Beauregard. Ever heard of him?”

  “Sounds like a pseudonym,” said Alexia.

  Madame Lefoux nodded. “It is rather common to use handlers in this part of the world, I’m afraid. The trail wil have gone quite cold by now. ”

  Alexia sighed regretful y. “Ah, well , deadly ladybugs wil happen, Monsieur Trouvé. I understand. You can repair my finer feelings with some tea, perhaps?”