Agony (Entangled Hearts Duet Book 1)

by Kaylee Ryan

  “I’m ready.”

  “So confident.”

  “I’m good at what I do.” I shrug. “No shame in knowing that, or admitting it.”

  “I can see it now. Cooper Reeves, the guy I knew when. Soon you’re going to be this big hot-shot professional football player. Women are going to be throwing panties at you left and right and you’ll forget about all the little people.”

  She’s teasing, but her words hit home. “It won’t be like that.”

  “Sure,” she says. I can hear the smile in her voice.

  “I could never forget you, Reese. You know that, right?” I wish I wasn’t driving so I could look her in the eye. In fact, glancing in my rearview mirror, I signal to move her car to the side of the road. I hit the button to engage the flashers and turn in my seat as much as the seat belt will allow and face her.

  “What are you doing?” She raises her eyebrows in question.

  “I need you to see me when I tell you this. I need you to look me in the eye and hear what I’m saying.”

  “O-kay,” she replies hesitantly.

  “Never. Never will I ever forget about you. You will never be anything less than my favorite person on this entire planet.”

  “Just earth?” she asks. There’s a sparkle in her green eyes.

  “Reese. No matter the time or distance, you will always be my best friend. I’m not going to be here, we’re not going to get to see each other every day, and that’s killing me. I need you to tell me that you understand that me leaving for my job, to follow my dream, that changes nothing between us.”

  She nods, and her eyes well with tears. “I’m really going to miss you, Coop.” Her voice cracks on my name, and so does a little piece of my heart. I hate I’m the reason for her tears.

  “You have no idea, Reese’s Pieces. You have no idea.” Turning back to face the road, I check my mirrors, turn off the hazards, and pull back onto the road once it’s clear.

  “When you get to Indy, I’m going to need you to send me some Defenders gear,” she says after several long minutes of silence.

  “You gonna watch my games?”

  “What kind of crazy question is that?”

  “How will Hunter feel about that?” I hate bringing him up during my time with her, but he’s always there lingering in the back of my mind.

  “Hunter knows how close we are. He’s good with it. Trust me.”

  “You’re going to come to a couple home games, right? And training camp?”

  “Depends on my work scheduled for camp. That’s during the week, so I doubt I can make it.”

  “There are weekend days for fans and family to attend.”

  “I’ll just have to see what work is like. And as far as home games, not all of them, but I definitely want to see you out on that field in your Defenders gear. You’ll know I’m there. I’ll be cheering the loudest. I have to make sure I’m living up to my title of Cooper Reeves’s number one fan.”

  “You’ve proven that to me hundreds of times. But I’m not going to turn down your cheers or you being in the stands. The first home game I need you there. Will you come?”

  “Yes. I’ll work it out, and I’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” she says as we pull into the diner.

  For the next two hours, we sit and talk and laugh, and we’re just… us. Just Reese and Cooper. Two best friends enjoying time together. It’s been too damn long since it’s been like this, just the two of us. There is always someone tagging along, and I didn’t realize how much I missed time with her. How much I miss her. Miss us.

  Mentally I’m kicking myself in the ass for not doing more of this sooner. Now, I’m leaving. The new tenants are taking over the house tomorrow. We all have to be out of there today. My life is about to flip upside down, and she’s not going to be there.

  “You need help packing?” Reese asks when we pull back into the house.

  “No. I’m all set. I do have a bag for you, though. You want to come in while I get it?”

  “Sure.” Together, we exit her car and head into the house. “I’ll just wait here,” she tells me. I nod and race up the stairs taking them two at a time.

  My room is packed, the bed is stripped, and most of the boxes are already loaded into my Jeep. Grabbing the CU backpack off the bed, I throw it over my shoulder and head back downstairs.

  “Here. This has all of your stuff from my room.”

  “Thanks.” She takes the bag and places it on her shoulder. “Why does this feel like we’re breaking up?” she asks. She’s looking at the floor, and I see her wipe her eyes.

  “Come here, Reese.” I don’t give her a chance not to. I step into her space and wrap my arms around her. “This is not a breakup. This is a see you soon. This is not goodbye. You are my best friend, and I don’t care what I have to do, I will be seeing you. I’ll spend every dime of my contract to make it happen.”

  “You can’t do that. You have a plan, both professional and financial. You have to stick to it.”

  “There is nothing that could keep me away from you. You know that, right?”

  “I do.” She lifts her head, and her green eyes are swimming with tears. “I’m going to miss you so much.”

  My chest heaves as I fight back my emotions. “I’ll call you when I get there. I’m leaving as soon as I round up the guys to say goodbye. Maybe you can come home, or I can come back for a weekend before I move?”

  “We’ll figure it out. You need to go be the incredible running back that you are. Show those Defenders that you’re money well spent.”

  I smile at her. “You’re going to have to drive up to help me decorate my new place.”

  “I can definitely make that happen. We both know you need my help.”

  I pull her back into my chest for one more tight hug. “Promise me if you need me, you call me day or night. I don’t care if you need to tell me that you stubbed your toe. You call me. No matter what.”

  “Come on, Coop. You’re going to have better things to worry about.”

  “Never anything more important than you.” I realize as I say the words, that it’s the truest statement I’ve ever spoken.

  “I should go, so you can get on the road.” She pulls away and wipes at her cheeks. “Bye, Coop.”

  “Bye, Reese.” With my hands fisted at my sides, I watch her walk out the door. I rush to the window and stare after her until I can no longer see her car. I’ve never been in a relationship to experience heartbreak, but if it’s anything like this, I don’t plan on finding out anytime soon. There is one word that can describe this moment.

  Agony.

  Chapter 22

  Reese

  It’s hard to believe that it’s been three weeks since everyone left. Work keeps me busy during the day, and at night, Hunter and I usually have dinner and hang out. The more time we spend together, the more he cements how great of a guy he is. He sent me flowers on my first day on the job as an official employee. He brings dinner and gives the best foot massages.

  “So, what do you think?” Hunter asks from his seat beside me. It’s Friday night, and we decided to order Chinese food and hang out. Our bellies are full, and we’re lounging on the couch.

  “I don’t know. You don’t think it’s too soon?” I ask him.

  “Reese, we’ve been dating for months. I really want you to meet my family.”

  “What if they hate me?” I’m not just being coy; I’m being real here. I’ve never really dated. Not a serious relationship like this one. I’ve never had to meet the family, and I’m stressing the hell out about it.

  “They’re going to love you just like I do.”

  I freeze. He cups my face in the palm of his hands. “I’m crazy about you, Reese Latham. You have to know that.” His thumb gently slides back and forth across my cheek. “I’m in love with you. I know you’re not there yet, but that doesn’t change how I feel about you. Please, come home with me over the holiday weekend. Meet my family.”

&
nbsp; I nod. “Okay.”

  He leans in and presses his lips to mine. “Thank you.”

  I’m nervous as hell, but he’s right. We’ve been dating for months, and it’s not that I don’t want to meet them. I’m just afraid they won’t like me or think that Hunter can do better. I know that’s just my nerves talking, and he’ll be there with me every step of the way.

  “What are we going to watch?” I ask, handing him the remote while covering a yawn.

  “Tired?”

  “Yes, but I want to watch a movie with you.”

  He kicks off his shoes and leans back on the couch, propping his feet up on the coffee table. “Come here.” He pats his lap, and I waste no time pulling the blanket from the back of the couch and using him as my pillow. He pulls up an episode of Good Girls and hits Play. We’ve been binging this series, and only after a few episodes, I’m addicted.

  “Reese.” Hunter’s whispered voice wakes me. I peel open my eyes and look up at him. “Let’s get you to bed.”

  “What time is it?”

  “Just after midnight. We both fell asleep.”

  I stand and stretch. “You can stay if you want.” This would be the first time he’s ever slept over. We’ve kissed, but that’s pretty much as far as we’ve taken things.

  “Reese, I think there’s something that you should know.”

  “What’s that?”

  “This is embarrassing to talk about, and I should have told you by now, but it’s never been brought up, and this, tonight, if I stay here, well, I think you need to know.”

  “Are you married? Seeing someone else?”

  “No. Never. No, Reese. It’s just you. But, I’m—” He rubs the back of his head with his hand. “There is no other way to say this than to just spit it out.”

  I nod. “Say it.” I have no idea what he’s about to say, but the words that come out of his mouth are not at all what I was expecting.

  “I’m saving myself, you know, until marriage.”

  Holy shit. Is this real? Hunter is a good-looking guy. Tall, brown hair, blue eyes, lean and fit, how is it he’s still a virgin? “You’re a virgin?” I wince as the words leave my mouth. “I’m sorry,” I rush to say. That was insensitive of me.

  “No. It’s okay. Yes, I am. My decision is a big part of who I am, and I know we’ve never talked about this. I should have brought it up sooner, but I didn’t know how. I wasn’t sure where we were headed. Now, here I am. I fell in love with you, and I needed you to know.”

  Wow. This is a big deal, and not at all what I was expecting. “Hunter, I’m not a virgin.” I feel like we need to be transparent with one another. If he’s hoping I too have been saving myself, he’s going to be disappointed. Although my one encounter in high school isn’t exactly much to write home about, the fact remains that I indeed have had sex. Just not in a very, very long time. I was holding out hope for me and Cooper, and well, we all know how that turned out. Then Hunter happened, and here we are.

  “I don’t expect you to be. I just needed you to know that I plan to wait. When I get married, I want my wife to know that she has every part of me. It’s not a decision based on religious beliefs, but personal ones.”

  “Wow,” I breathe.

  “So… where does that leave us?”

  “What do you mean?” I ask, confused.

  “Is this a deal breaker for you? Sex?”

  Is it? I’ve never really thought about it. It’s not like I’m seasoned in the act myself. My prom-night blunder isn’t exactly screaming sex goddess. “No,” I answer him. “It’s not a deal breaker for me. I respect your decision, and I’m glad that you told me.”

  “You’re not breaking up with me?”

  “No. However, I have wondered a few times why you were so patient with me not moving things forward.”

  “Trust me, Reese. You have been the test to my vow.” His eyes heat as they rake over my body. “You don’t know how many times I’ve imagined us together.”

  “Is your family going to hate me because I’m not… you know, pure?”

  “No. I don’t even know if they know about my vow. Like I said it has nothing to do with religious beliefs. It’s just something I promised myself, and if you can’t keep promises made to yourself, what kind of man are you?”

  I take a seat back on the couch and curl up under the blanket. “What made you decide?”

  “When I was ten, my older brother Jacob was sixteen. I heard him and his girlfriend at the time in his room one night. He was trying to break up with her; she’d gotten clingy, at least that’s what he told her. She started to cry and told him that she was pregnant. The room got quiet, and when my brother spoke again, I could hear the fear in his voice. I slipped back into my room and kept my mouth shut. Fast-forward a few weeks, and they told her parents and mine. They were disappointed because they were so young, but taking it one day at a time. We’re a family, and we’ll get through this. I remember those were my mother’s words the day that she found out. My father, he just nodded his agreement. They were on board to help any way that they could.”

  “They sound great. Your parents.” Makes me less fearful to meet them next week.

  “Yeah, they really are,” he says, taking a seat next to me on the couch. “Anyway, they went to the doctor for her first visit, and there was no baby. Tracy, his girlfriend, said she must have lost it. The doctor told her that’s not how it happens. Anyway, long story short, she lied. She wasn’t pregnant. She made it all up to keep Jacob from breaking up with her.”

  “That’s terrible. How could anyone do that?”

  “I don’t know. What I do know is that I never want to be in that position. That day, the way my brother mourned the loss of a child he had grown to love the idea of, the one that didn’t exist, I vowed to wait. I want to know that when I’m being told that I’m going to be a father, that it’s the real deal. I want to know that I love that woman without a shadow of a doubt, and creating a family with her will be an honor. So, yeah, that’s what made my decision for me.”

  “And your brother?”

  “He’s married. No kids yet. He didn’t have sex again until his wedding night. Hell…” He rakes his hands over his face. “Maybe it’s just me wanting to be like my big brother, but really it’s to avoid going through what he went through.”

  “Hey.” I reach out and place my hand on his leg. “I respect your choices, Hunter. Thank you for explaining them to me when you didn’t have to.”

  “I did have to. I’ve never felt like this for anyone. I’ve felt attraction, have been tempted, but I’ve never had my heart feel like it’s melting just by hearing a name or seeing you walk into a room. I’m in love with you, Reese.”

  I can’t say it back. I’m not there. I care about him, but I’m not in love with him. I don’t know if my heart will ever love again. I don’t know if I’m capable of giving it to someone else. I’m not sure that I was able to gather all of the pieces when they shattered that night in Cooper’s room. What I do know is that Hunter is a great guy, even more than I ever imagined, and I enjoy spending time with him. He’s my boyfriend, and just with this conversation, I already feel closer to him. All we can do is take it one day at a time and see where it leads us. Tossing off the cover, I stand from the couch and hold out my hand. “Come on. Let’s go to bed.” The smile he gives me warms me all over. He really thought I would kick him to the curb for saving himself for his future wife? Hunter Applegate is a unicorn in a sexy man’s body.

  Without question, he takes my hand. I turn off the lights and lead him down the hall to my bedroom. “I’m going to change,” I tell him as I grab some clothes to sleep in. “I have some things of Cooper’s still here, if you want to change into something else.” I cringe as I say it. It sounds bad, offering your boyfriend another man’s clothes to sleep in. It sounds bad, but Cooper and I are just friends. He knows that, and my heart remembers it. Painfully so.

  “I can just strip down to my underwear, unless
that would make you uncomfortable?”

  “No. Cooper did that more often than not too. I’ll be right back.” I rush out of my room and to the bathroom, quickly slipping inside. I need to stop bringing Cooper up so often. I miss him like crazy, that has to be why I can’t shut up about him tonight. Quickly, I change and toss my dirty clothes into the hamper, and head back to my room. When I push open the door, Hunter is standing next to the bed in a pair of black boxer briefs that fit him like a second skin. I rake my eyes over his body for the first time. I skim over his boxers and then back again when my mind registers that he’s hard.

  “Reese,” he groans. “This is going to be hard enough as it is. No pun intended. I need you to not look at me like that.”

  “Like what?” I ask, licking my lips.

  “That. You can’t do that. You can’t lick those soft as hell kissable lips while staring at my dick. This was a bad idea. I should just go home.” He turns to grab his clothes, and I rush toward him to stop him.

  “No. We can do this, Hunter. I’m sorry. I know your vow and won’t test it. I promise.”

  “Not possible,” he mutters under his breath.

  “Let’s just go to bed.” I move to climb under the covers and scoot over, making room for him. He turns off the light and I feel the bed dip. He slides under the covers, and the only sound is our breathing. This takes me back to all the nights Coop and I slept in the same bed. He used to let me use him as my pillow. I miss him so much, but there is a man, a very good-looking, honorable, kind man sharing my bed. A man who’s not my best friend; he’s my boyfriend. I should be able to use him as my pillow.

  I whisper his name into the darkness, “Hunter.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Is cuddling against the rules?”

  “No, Reese. Cuddling is definitely not against the rules. Come here.” I feel the blanket lift and move over to rest my head on his chest. He wraps his arms around me and sighs. “I could get used to this.”