Then, in late March, Simon announced that he had to go out of town for a full week on business. He said it was mandatory. She acted as if she thought he was telling her the truth. But she knew he wasn’t going on business and deep in her heart, she was filled with rage. It was only a month before she was due to deliver. I could go into labor early and he wouldn’t even be here. He wouldn’t even care. She sat on the edge of the bed. Her stomach was huge. She felt dreadful, unattractive, and unwanted but at least the morning sickness had ceased. Haley had always been one to keep her feelings hidden. She’d never been able to openly express anger. And now she sat on the edge of the bed and watched as he carefully packed his clothes. I hate you, she thought. But she mustered a smile when he finished and picked up his suitcase. Then he kissed her on the top of the head and walked out the door.
She wept. Two days later she went into labor. Eidel and Dovid were at her side even though neither of them had ever attended a Lamaze class with her. Eidel tried to call the hotel where Simon was staying but there was no answer when the operator rang his room. She left countless messages, but he never returned the calls. On April first, three days after she went into labor, Julie Hannah Meier was born. How ironic, my child is born on April Fool’s Day and I am the world’s biggest fool, Haley thought. Julie was named for Simon’s grandfather, Jake, and for Harry, who was like a second father to Haley. Simon didn’t even know his child was born until he returned from his business trip. In fact, he arrived home on the same day Haley brought Julie home from the hospital. Dovid and Eidel drove Haley and the new baby to Haley’s house. Since it was the Jewish custom not to decorate the nursery until the baby was born, Dovid and Eidel put the nursery together while Haley was in the hospital.
When Simon walked in the front door, Eidel gave him a dirty look. Dovid shook his head.
“What is it?” Simon said. “Where’s Haley?”
“You didn’t get any of my messages?” Eidel asked.
“No. What messages?” Simon answered.
“Haley had the baby. You have a daughter,” Eidel said.
“Are they at the hospital?”
“They’re in the bedroom. The baby is asleep. Haley is getting undressed.”
Simon grunted then walked back into the bedroom.
“We should leave,” Eidel said.
“No,” Dovid answered. “I’m not leaving here until I know Haley is all right.”
“You sense something, don’t you?” Eidel said.
“Yes, maybe I do.”
Eidel and Dovid heard Haley yelling from the bedroom. Neither of them had ever heard Haley yell before or say offensive things. She had always been such a good child. No matter what anyone said or did, Haley was the first to forgive. But not today.
“Where the hell were you?” Haley yelled.
“You know where I was.”
“You’re a liar. You’ve been cheating on me.” Haley’s voice cracked and it was like the cracking of the wall of a dam. Suddenly all of the anger and resentment she felt toward Simon came pouring out of her.
When Simon finally admitted he was cheating and no longer wanted to be married, Dovid and Eidel entered the bedroom. Haley’s face was red and stained with tears. Her hands were shaking.
“Sit, my child,” Eidel said. “I’ll pack a bag for you and the baby. Your father will take the crib and tomorrow he’ll come back and get the rest of your things.”
“I’m leaving,” Simon said.
“Good thing you are because if you stayed I might have to knock the shit out of you,” Dovid said as he began taking apart the baby’s crib.
The following day, Dovid contacted his attorney and divorce proceedings began. Haley never went back to the house she had shared with Simon.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Dovid and Eidel adored little Julie. It had been a long time since there was a baby in the house. Sometimes it was difficult but they found that it was also very rewarding to be grandparents. It was different than being parents. They were retired now, giving them time to enjoy the baby. Although it exhausted him, Dovid loved getting up with Julie for her nightly feeding. It was their special time together. He would hold her in his arms, gently rocking her and giving her a bottle. The soft sucking sound sent him into a state of ease and comfort. As he looked down into her tiny face in the dark, still, world of night, he felt closer to God than he’d ever felt in his life.
Julie was growing rapidly, changing every day. She was already a beautiful child. Even as an infant, it looked like she was going to be the spitting image of her mother and grandmother, with golden peach fuzz for hair.
But for Haley, these were difficult times. She had seen the end of her marriage coming but, even so, now that it was over, she felt lost. Haley was having a hard time making sense of her life. She asked Eidel not to tell Mark about her divorce, just yet. “I need time to pull myself together before I can talk to anyone about what happened.”
“I understand,” Eidel said. “Take as long as you need. I won’t say anything to Mark or any of our friends.”
“Thank you, Mom. You always know what to do,” Haley said.
Haley thought about Abby. As far as Haley was concerned, it was as if she never even had a sister. No one ever heard from Abby anymore, anyway. Abby might be in contact with Mark, but he would never admit it to the rest of the family. Haley was sure that if Mark and Abby were talking, Abby was the one who wanted to keep it secret. Still, even though it had been years since Haley had seen her sister, occasionally Haley would notice something, like a toy in a store window or the old bicycle that was in the Levi’s basement, and Haley would momentarily be transported back to her childhood. Transported back to a sweeter time, when she, Mark, and Abby were all very young. She recalled the games they played, the secrets they shared. And because of this, sometimes, Haley wished she could pick up the phone and talk to Abby. But Abby was gone. She had gotten into trouble as a teenager with boys and drugs. She’d been hospitalized several times for being out-of-control. Then Abby quit school and one night, she ran away. She came back to the house once. Dovid and Eidel were frantic when they saw her. Dovid tried to hold on to her. He and Eidel were both screaming. They were nervous and in hysterics. “Where have you been? We have been out of our minds looking for you,” they yelled.
“You could get yourself killed. You’re just a child. A little girl. The police have been looking for you. Listen to me Abby, you will not leave this house without permission again,” Dovid said.
She only stayed a few hours. Dovid couldn’t keep her prisoner. Night fell and she went into her bedroom. By morning, Abby was gone again. Still, against all odds, Haley had hoped her sister would come back someday. But when Abby didn’t attend Haley’s wedding, Haley was hurt. She felt that by not even acknowledging the invitation, Abby made it crystal clear that she wanted no part of Dovid, Eidel, or her sister. It’s just another sad fact of my life that I will have to accept. Abby and I will never really even know each other, Haley thought every time memories of Abby crept back into her tender heart.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
September 30, 1991
The roaches scattered as soon as Abby flipped on the light in the small bathroom in the apartment she shared with Bill. It was a one-bedroom in an old building located in an impoverished and dangerous neighborhood. He promised her that she could move out on her own after she made this last drug run and she believed him. He told her that he would pay her enough for doing the drug deal to get her own place. But again, he lied. Every penny they got their hands on went toward his coke addiction. She was tired of his quick temper and his addictive behavior. In general, she was just tired of him. When they first met he had been so damn charming that she thought he was the answer to her prayers. He said all the things she longed to hear. He promised that he would love her and devote his life to her. And to entice her even further, he was handsome in a rugged, rough way, manly and strong.
A take-charge kind of guy. At first, Abby
liked having someone else take care of her. She felt protected. But less than a month after they moved in together, he started demanding that she make drug runs for him. If she refused, he would push her into a wall or slap her around until she gave in and agreed. And then it got worse. He brought men home and expected her to have sex with them for money. The first time Bill brought home a customer for sex she went into the bedroom with the man. The look in Bill’s eyes told her that she dared not defy him. She didn’t know what to do. Bill could be so threatening, so powerful. However, when the stranger put his hands on her body she started to cry. The man was much older; he looked like he could be her father’s age. He heard her whimpering in the dark and stopped. Abby knew that he felt sorry for her. The stranger was kind. He never told Bill that she hadn’t given him sex. He just handed Bill a wad of money and left. That night, Bill was pleased with Abby. He said kind words and treated her like he cared about her.
It was a month later when Bill brought another man home that he expected Abby to have sex with. Bill sent the customer into the bedroom and told Abby to “Go in there and make sure he leaves happy.” But this time, even though she was afraid of Bill, Abby openly refused. A fight between Abby and Bill ensued. The customer heard them fighting and came out of the bedroom, demanding a refund. Bill tried to convince the customer to stay, but he became irate. Finally, Bill had to give him back his money. The man left the apartment saying he didn’t want any trouble. This was the first of many times Abby stood up to Bill. And it was also the first time that he beat her until her eyes were so swollen she could hardly see. He had pushed her before, threatened her before, but this time he really beat the hell out of her. While she was lying on the kitchen floor, blood dripping from her nose and mouth, he told her he would kill her the next time she didn’t do what he told her to do.
From then on, he became even more overpowering. He would command her to make a drug run. She would complain, try to refuse. They would fight and he would beat her. Twice she ended up in the hospital with broken bones. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore so she tried to run away from him. She hitchhiked all the way back to California where she had an old friend that said she could stay with her. Everything was fine for a few weeks. Abby began to feel safe. She even got a job working at a convenience store. But somehow, and she never knew how, Bill found her. It happened when she was on her way back to the apartment where she was staying. The first time Abby got a paycheck she wanted to go to the grocery store so she could offer some contribution to her friend for taking her in. That afternoon, after she finished her shift, she borrowed her friend’s car and went to the grocery store. She was carrying a hefty bag of food from the car to the apartment. As she turned to go up the stairs to the second floor, she saw Bill hiding under the stairwell. He came up behind her quickly and threw her against the building. The pain was so intense that she fell to the ground. A carton of eggs sitting on top of her grocery bag fell out and broken yokes splattered all over the stairs.
“You bitch,” he said. “It cost me time and money to find you. How dare you try and run away from me. What made you think I’d let you go that easily?”
He kicked her in the stomach. She doubled over into a fetal position, but he lifted her to her feet by her hair. Abby could hear herself scream. He threw her in his car. “Don’t move or I swear I’ll kill you,” he said. He ran to the driver’s side, got into the car, and turned the key in the ignition. He never let her say goodbye to her friend. He never let her collect her things. As Bill’s car began to move out of the apartment parking lot with Abby his prisoner, she looked back and saw the brown paper bag of groceries lying on its side. The broken eggshells littered the pavement. That bag of groceries represented a new life to her. She was going to be a working person, self-supporting. At least, that had been her hope. Now, as Bill’s car left the parking lot and turned right, the bag of groceries grew smaller and smaller in her sight. Abby felt hopeless; so sad and so alone.
On the ride from California to Tennessee, Bill was quiet but Abby could feel his rage in the energy inside the automobile. Most of the time he blasted country rock on the radio but when they stopped for dinner the first night, he turned off the radio before she got out of the car. He turned and looked at her with menacing eyes. “I want to show you something.” He opened his jacket to reveal a handgun. “You see that? If you even try to run, I’ll kill you. If you say a word to anyone about what’s going on between you and me, I promise you, I’ll shoot you.”
He nodded, tapped the gun in a weird macabre form of reassurance, and smiled.
They stopped at a dirty, run-down motel that night. He forced himself on her. She didn’t resist. Instead, she just lay there with tears running down her cheeks. He didn’t notice. She wondered if he was going to be that fatal mistake everyone always told her she was headed for. He’ll probably kill me eventually. My parents warned me. My shrinks warned me. Everybody said I was headed for a fall. This might just be it, she thought.
The following day, Bill was apologetic. He was kind and loving. Not only that, he was trying to be charming the way he’d been in the beginning, trying to make her laugh by making jokes. But she didn’t trust him. She knew he was insane and she had no idea how she was ever going to get away from him.
Then, a week later, Bill demanded that she go to New York to meet with a dealer. When she first called Mark she planned to run away and stay with him. But right before she left, Bill threatened her. He said that if she didn’t return, he would find her and kill her. But he would not only kill her. He would kill whomever she was staying with as well. However, he sweetly promised that if she did the job and did it well, he would reward her. Bill said he would take the dope and give her a little money so she could go on her own. “I know that’s what you want, honey,” he said. “And I want you to be happy so I’ll give you enough to start your life over.”
Abby couldn’t sleep the night before the trip. She had been sure that this would be her escape. There was no doubt in her mind that Mark and John would take her in. But how could she have foolishly believed that Bill wouldn’t come to her brother’s apartment? And after what he said about killing anyone who took her in, Abby knew she couldn’t stay with Mark and John. She wouldn’t put them at risk like that. She hardly believed Bill when he promised he would give her some money and let her go. But she had to trust him. She had no choice.
True to form, Bill never gave her a dime. He was as demanding as ever. Again he brought a man to see her for sex and again she refused. This time, Bill beat her so badly that she ended up in the hospital with a broken arm. She had two black eyes that were almost swollen shut and a broken nose. Bill stayed close by her when she was in the examining room in the hospital, his eyes threatening her not to tell anyone what happened.
“She fell down the stairs,” Bill said, giving a young nurse his prettiest, most sincere smile.
The nurse returned his smile. But an older nurse who was setting up the room for the doctor was watching and listening.
“She fell, huh?” the older nurse said. “Who are you?”
“Why, I’m Bill Hadder Abby’s boyfriend. She’s a good kid but she sure is a clumsy girl.”
“Hmmm.” The nurse looked at Abby’s broken arm and bruised face. “She sure did get awful hurt, didn’t she?”
“Yeah, fell all the way down to the concrete basement floor.”
“Why don’t you go on out and wait in the waiting room. I want to examine her alone,” the nurse said.
“No need. She doesn’t mind me being here with her in the room.”
“That wasn’t a question, Mr.Hadder That was a command.” The nurse gave Bill a stare that told him he’d better oblige.
After Bill left, the nurse turned to Abby and said, “My name is Coleen. You can talk to me. What happened here?”
“I fell,” Abby stammered.
“No. I don’t think you did.”
“I can’t tell you any more,” Abby said.
&nb
sp; “You’re scared to death of him. We’ll get us a restraining order. He won’t be able to come anywhere near you. Go on, tell me what happened.”
Abby was trembling, but she trusted Coleen and told her everything.
“The officer I am going to call to come and work with you is a real good friend of mine. You can trust him.”
“But where am I going to go? I wanted to go and live with my brother, but Bill said that he would kill him if he found me there.”
“Don’t you worry about that. My officer friend will have a nice little talk with him. Then we’ll get you a restraining order. After my friend is done with Mr. Hadder, he won’t bother you anymore.”
Abby left the hospital several hours later with a cast on her arm and a police escort. She was taken directly to the police station where she called Mark.
He picked up the phone immediately.
“Mark, it’s Abby.”
“Abby?”
“Mark.” Just hearing his voice made her burst into tears. “I’m in trouble. Real trouble. I need money for a plane ticket to come to New York. Can I sleep on your couch until I can find a job and get out on my own?”
“You have to ask? Of course. I’ll send the money for a plane ticket and some extra so you can take a cab to my apartment from the airport. I’ll send it via Western Union. Call me and let me know when you’re going to arrive.”
Another Generation Page 6
