“Oh, Mark. Thank you so much. You’re a godsend.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
Mark hung up the phone. He poured a glass of lemon water and sat down on the sofa. They were out of wine and John was out buying a bottle. They wanted a good bottle of wine that night because they were planning to celebrate. They had finished writing the musical just a few days earlier and already a small, off-Broadway playhouse had agreed to perform it. Mark and John were to be very involved in the production and the casting of the show. They agreed that John would take the role of the ship’s captain, a difficult man softened by the sweet little girl who befriended his beloved dog. Collaborating on a play took more out of them than either Mark or John had originally thought it would. They argued many times over small artistic differences but inevitably, within a few hours, they’d come to a compromise and kissed and made-up. And now, the fruits of their labor were ready for harvest. In Mark’s opinion, it was a wonderful show with a great score. He couldn’t be happier with the result of their work.
Mark would have gone with John to the store just to get out for a quick walk, but he had a slight headache and John told him to lie down. Good thing I didn’t go with John. I would have missed Abby’s call. It will be a pain in the neck to have a house-guest because the damn place is so small. There is not much room in this apartment. But that’s New York. Still, I am glad she’s coming, and I know John will not be upset about it. He loves Abby, even with all of her problems. God bless John. How did I ever get so lucky as to find a guy like John?
The phone rang. Mark ran to answer it. He was sure it was Abby.
“Abby?”
“Is this Mark Levi?” It was a woman’s voice but not Abby.
“Yes. This is he.”
“Mr. Levi. Do you recall a man named Gene White?”
“Gene White?” Mark couldn’t forget him. He was the only man Mark had ever cheated on John with and he never got over the guilt. “Yes. I remember Gene. I met him about a year ago. What is this about?”
“Mr. White has tested HIV positive. I’m afraid he named you as one of the people with whom he was sexually active. You must come into the Planned Parenthood clinic on 43rd Street for a test to see if you are positive.”
Mark was silent. HIV? AIDS? Oh my God. This is a death sentence. His heart was racing. His throat was so dry he couldn’t swallow. And what about John? I could have given this to John. Oh God, not John. Not John. And even worse, John has no idea about the terrible thing I did with Gene that night.
“Mr. Levi? Are you still there?”
“Yes. I’m here.”
“Let’s make an appointment so you can get tested. When can you come in?”
“An hour?”
“Perfect. I’ll put you in the book.”
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
Mark got dressed in a daze. When the phone rang again it was Abby. He tried to be as kind and sympathetic as possible as she told him her story. However, he found it hard to listen to her right then. He was in a state of shock and terrified. Before she called back he’d almost forgotten all about her coming, he was so jarred by the very thought that he might have HIV. I can’t forget to stop by the Western Union and send the money to Abby on my way to the clinic. He was so distracted by his own fear that he had to keep reminding himself that Abby was at a police station in Tennessee waiting for him to send her plane fare. His hands trembled as he took the cash he needed for Abby out of his jewelry box. He slipped on a light jacket and walked a few blocks to the Western Union. The whole situation felt unreal to him. He was moving robotically. People he knew from the neighborhood greeted him on the street. He answered but couldn’t bear to take even a minute to stop and chat. I am paralyzed with fear. If I have this horrible disease then all is lost. I will be dead before I am forty. And . . . oh, God, John, John. Not John. Not John. Should I tell him what is going on or wait for the results? Why should he worry needlessly until I have some answers? Maybe I don’t have it. Is that possible? Oh God, please let it be that I don’t have it. I did this terrible thing. It was me who acted badly, now I deserve to shoulder it alone. Why should John have to endure the anxiety of waiting for the results? He isn’t responsible for this mess. I am. The truth is, I probably don’t deserve him. What I really deserve is for him to leave me for this. But, even if he does, I pray to God that he doesn’t have HIV. Oh God, I pray for me too. God, can you hear me? I am so sorry. I made a mistake. Please, not this. Not HIV. I don’t know how I am going to get through an entire week while I am waiting for the results. In fact, each moment will be hell until I can get an answer. It’s so unbearable I can hardly catch my breath. This is like awaiting a sentence from a jury. Will I live to be an old man or am I going to die a horrible painful death within a short time? And then, if I do have it, how long do I have left? And John. Oh, John! How could I do this to John? His mind was racing a mile a minute as he opened the door to the clinic.
“Hi, can I help you?” asked a young pretty black girl with a head full of long braided hair, sitting behind a glass window.
“Yes, my name is Mark Levi. I have an appointment.”
“Have a seat, Mr. Levi. Someone will call you in just a few minutes.”
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
Abby was to arrive in New York at two in the morning. Mark called out sick from work so that he could get things ready for Abby. He kept himself busy cleaning the house. The distraction did him good. At least he wasn’t completely focused on the test results, although they were wedged in the back of his mind. As he took a set of clean sheets and a comforter out of the closet, he wished he had more room so that Abby could have some privacy. But at least she had somewhere to go. John had been at a rehearsal all day. When he returned, Mark had dinner ready but he was quiet. In fact, Mark hardly said a word and didn’t eat any of his dinner.
“You’re worried about Abby?” John asked getting up and rubbing Mark’s shoulders as he took the plates to the sink.
“Yes,” Mark said. It was the truth. He was concerned about his sister. But he was more obsessed with his fear of the test results. However, he refused to be selfish. There was no need for John to know anything yet. John tended bar and he had to be at work that night. There was no need for John to spend his entire night paralyzed by anxiety the way Mark was now.
“Abby’ll be okay. We’ll take care of her. Relax. You know I’ll help you.” John kissed Mark. “I’ve got to leave for work now but I’ll be home soon.”
“I know.”
“Are you all right?” John picked up his jacket then he turned to look at Mark who sat on the sofa with his shoulders slumped. “Do you want me to call out tonight? I will stay home if you need me.”
“No . . . no. . . go on. I am fine. Please. Really. I’m all right,” Mark stammered.
“You’re sure?”
Mark managed a smile. “Yes. I am sure.”
“Okay. If you need me, call.”
“I will.”
“All right. I’ll see you later.”
After John left, Mark took a hot shower. He couldn’t escape his thoughts and, even worse, he dared not share them with anyone. At the clinic, he talked with a counselor who tried to offer him some comforting words. However, nothing the man said could soothe Mark. He knew the truth. He was well aware of what was at stake if the test turned out to be positive.
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE
Abby was a mess when she arrived at Mark’s apartment at three that morning. Her curly black hair was knotted and greasy. She pulled it back into a ponytail but the wild curls were rebellious, just like their owner’s heart, and they refused to be contained, springing out of the rubber band in all directions. Both of her eyes were bloodshot and covered in purple bruises. She had a cast on her forearm and a big white bandage across her nose. There was caked, dried blood on her lips and nostrils. Her appearance made it difficult for her to get a cab from the airport.
“I’m sorry to come in the middle of the night, but the only flight avai
lable was the red eye.” Abby let out a bitter laugh. “Kinda ironic, I guess,” Abby said pointing to her eyes.
“It’s okay, Abby,” Mark said looking at the cast on her arm and her black eyes. “You hungry? Want something to eat?”
“No thanks, Markey. I can’t eat.”
“What happened?” Mark asked.
“You want me to tell you now or would you rather get some rest and I’ll tell you everything in the morning? It’s a long story.”
“Good idea, let’s get some sleep. We’ll talk in the morning. I bet you’re exhausted.”
“Yes, I am. I’m very tired and very sorry I had to drag you and John into this. Is he asleep?”
“No, he’s at work.”
“How’s the show coming?”
“Good. We finished all the writing and it already got picked up by an off-Broadway house. We have auditions starting next week.”
“Wow! That’s great.”
“Yeah, we’re excited. But let’s talk more tomorrow. I wish I had a better place for you to sleep but the sofa is the best I can do.”
“Don’t worry about it, Mark. I’m glad to be here. Thank you so much for sending me money for a plane ticket.”
“You’re my sister, Ab. You don’t have to thank me,” Mark said. He wanted to tell her about the test. He wanted to unburden the heaviness in his heart by talking about it with someone else. But she was so broken that he couldn’t bother her with his problems right now. So instead, he just gave her a set of clean sheets and blankets and told her she was welcome to take a shower. “There are fresh towels in the linen closet. I’m going to go to bed. Please make yourself at home.”
“Thanks again. I love you, Mark.”
“I love you too, Ab.”
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR
The following morning, as Abby and Mark sipped on cups of steaming coffee, Abby told him all about what happened with her and Bill. John was still asleep because he came home from work at five a.m. Mark hated the fact that John worked as a bartender at a gay club three nights a week. He couldn’t stand thinking of all the men flirting with John. But, deep down, he knew that John could be trusted. And except for one terrible mistake, Mark knew that he too could be trusted. Why did I ever do that? Mark’s thoughts were of the night he spent with Gene White. Abby was still talking about Bill, but Mark’s thoughts had drifted and now he barely heard her. He was usually not like this. Mark had always been an attentive listener. Today, however, his own problems were overwhelming him.
“Want some breakfast?” Mark asked, trying to bring himself back to the present moment.
“I never eat in the morning.”
“You should. It’s good for you. How about some eggs?”
“No, thanks.”
“Toast?”
She laughed. “You are such a mother hen. Okay. Toast.”
“No, wait . . . ” He smiled. “I have a surprise for you. John picked up scones yesterday. They are wonderful. Would you like one? Chocolate chip? If I recall correctly, you are a chocolate freak.”
“You remembered that I love chocolate.” She smiled. “Yes, I’d love one. And, Mark . . . I am so grateful to you. You are such a good brother.”
He smiled. “Let me put it in the microwave for a few seconds. The chocolate will melt.”
“Yum.” A big smile came over her face.
“That’s my girl.” He smiled too, forgetting his own problems for just a minute as he watched his sister. When she smiled he could see the child she’d once been in her face.
The microwave beeped at the same time the phone rang.
Mark knew it couldn’t be the test results because they’d told him it would be a week. But just the sound of the ring made him jump. He hoped Abby didn’t see. Again, the microwave beeped and the phone rang. Abby got up and took the scone out of the microwave. Mark picked up the receiver.
“Hello…” He heard his voice crack. Could it be the test results? Oh God, maybe they got them early. I can’t bear this suspense…
CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE
Little Julie was an early riser. She was up before the sun. Dovid adored the baby and so as soon as he heard the faintest cry come from her room, he would slip in quietly so as not to awaken Haley and lift Julie into his arms. Then he would tiptoe into the living room with her cuddled against him and warm her bottle.
He loved watching the sunrise through the window as he and Julie sat in the rocking chair. He also loved the gentle sucking sound she made as she took her morning feeding.
Dovid remembered adoring his children, but the old adage that grandchildren were special made him smile. As he looked down into the tiny face and watched the little fists try to hold the bottle, he believed that there was plenty of truth in that statement. I guess as I get older I am appreciating everything more. I am seeing the marvels in things I missed as a younger man. The bright red color of a robin or the fragrance of a flower could all touch his heart so deeply that sometimes they brought a tear to his eye. But nothing even came close to the miracle of Julie. Everything about her was a wonder. Her tiny ears, the soft golden peach fuzz on her head. OY, God. I thought I needed a grandson to be happy. But you knew better. It’s funny, God, you always seem to know better than I do what I need. I wanted a grandson to carry on the Levi name, but I cannot imagine loving any child as much as I love this little angel who is falling asleep in my arms. There are no words that are powerful enough for me to express my gratitude. All I can say is that you have truly blessed me.
Haley came out of her room. “I have an interview for a job today, Dad.”
“Oh good. What kind of job is it?”
“Teaching but this is for a permanent job, not a substitute. I don’t know how you and Mom feel about watching Julie every day while I work?”
“You don’t know how we feel about our granddaughter? Can’t you tell?” He laughed and the little belly he’d grown shook. “We would love it.”
“Oh Dad, I don’t know what I would do without you and Mom to help me. I feel like such a failure. I never thought I would be divorced with a tiny baby. My life is upside down.”
“You know how many times I’ve felt that way in my own life? Plenty, Haley. Trust God. He’ll help you get through it.”
“It’s just that things didn’t turn out the way I thought they would with Simon.”
“Yes. I know. But many times I have found that when something bad happens in your life it is because God has something better in mind for you. He has taken Simon away because he is sending you in a different direction. And whatever God has planned is always better than you could imagine. So try to trust God. After all, God gave you a beautiful daughter. He would not have brought you this far just to abandon you.”
“You really think so, Daddy?”
“I do. I have lived through a lot of things, Haley. And I know so. Go, get dressed for your interview. I’ll take care of Julie.”
“You want me to change her first so you don’t have to deal with the dirty diaper? She always has a dirty diaper after she eats.”
“No. Go get dressed. Dirty diapers don’t scare me. I am a man of steel.” He laughed.
She laughed, too. “You know Dad, I love you . . . ”
“I know, and I love you too.”
Eidel got up a half hour after Haley left. It was still only eight in the morning. Julie was still awake too. She was crying and Dovid couldn’t seem to quiet her.
“Why don’t we go out for breakfast? The motion from the ride in the car will quiet the baby and we can get a quick bite,” Dovid asked Eidel.
“I’d like to get out but do you think the baby will cry in the restaurant?”
“She’s usually good after she has had a nap in the car. Something about the motion of riding puts her to sleep. I think she’ll be fine. If not, we’ll take the food to go. But I have confidence in Julie.” He was up and walking, rocking the baby who was red-faced and wailing.
“I don’t know, Dovi.” Eidel walked ove
r to Julie and kissed her forehead. “She’s not warm. I don’t think she’s sick,” Eidel said, touching Julie’s cheek.
“Do you trust my judgment?” Dovid said, giving Eidel a smile.
She nodded, looking at Julie skeptically. “All right, we’ll try. Let me get dressed. I’ll only be a few minutes. Then once I’m dressed I’ll hold Julie while you get ready.”
“Okay, sounds good,” he said.
CHAPTER TWENTY SIX
Eidel gently placed Julie into her car seat. The baby was still crying. Eidel tried to put the pacifier into her mouth but Julie spit it out.
“I'll ride in the back with her and try to calm her down,” Eidel said.
“Okay. But I am sure she’ll be asleep in a few minutes.”
“You’re so confident.”
He laughed. “Let’s hope she’ll be asleep in a few minutes. Does that sound more realistic?”
“Yes,” she said.
They began driving through the tree-lined neighborhood. Skokie had grown since they’d moved there when they were first married. There were shops and restaurants, schools, and much more traffic. Although it was called a village it seemed to Dovid to be a small city. It has been a long time since I’ve been in the heart of Chicago. That’s probably why this seems so populated to me now. It’s funny, but sometimes I still miss those days of working with Harry, Cool Breeze, and Arnie at the bar in the heart of the south side. We had some good times; they should all rest in peace. They were such dear friends to me.
As Dovid predicted, Julie fell asleep.
“You were right,” Eidel whispered. “She’s sleeping.” Eidel gently caressed Julie’s tiny fist.
“She just gets a little wound up sometimes,” Dovid said.
Another Generation Page 7
