Take a Chance on Me

by Alexa Land

  “See? You were always meant to be a tattoo artist.” I grinned and added, “Oh man, remember the time we accidentally used permanent markers? Your dad was so mad.”

  “Like I can forget.” He studied my side as he asked, “Any final requests before I start drawing?”

  “Just do what we talked about. Make it big and bold, and don’t go dark on me with like, the illusion of peeled away skin or anything like that.”

  Max pushed his long hair behind his shoulder and said, “Got it. Although you should let me do that some other time, because it’d look rad.”

  He began to draw with big, bold lines, while Duke idly stroked my hair. Across the room, my parents leaned against each other while they read. After a while, my mom finished her novel, put her head on her husband’s shoulder, and started reading his book along with him. They were so sweet together, still so in love after half a century together, and I whispered, “Relationship goals.”

  I looked up at Duke, and he smiled at me and said softly, “That’ll be us in fifty years.”

  “You’re right.”

  “The main difference is, we’ll be living in your Barbie tent, because I’ve decided to sell the duplex.”

  I sat up abruptly, and Max pulled back and exclaimed, “Come on, bro! That’s how you got a tiny dick drawn on you!”

  I ignored him and asked Duke, “Are you serious?”

  He nodded. “I’ve been thinking about it for weeks, and I know I need to make a change. I could never really afford that house, and my entire life has been centered on trying to keep up with the payments. That has to stop. Hopefully it’s built up some equity, so I can pay back my parents with a little left over. That’s another big reason for selling it, to get myself out from under that debt.”

  “You were dead-set against it, the last time we talked about it. What made you change your mind?”

  “A lot of soul searching,” he said. “I’ve been spending all this time watching you and the rest of the guys in your dance troupe pursuing your passion, and I started asking myself, is owning a house really worth it, if it means my dreams have to be put on hold indefinitely? That doesn’t mean the next step is quitting my job. But if I find more affordable housing, then I won’t have to keep working sixty to seventy hours a week, and I’ll have time for things that make me happy.”

  “Wow, Duke, this is a huge step! I think it’s fantastic, and it goes without saying that I’ll be there every step of the way.”

  He said, “I’m counting on it. That’s what gave me the confidence to go ahead with this, knowing I’m part of a couple now, so I won’t be facing all these changes alone.”

  “You’re not just part of a couple, you’re part of a family,” my mom called from across the room. “And if you kids need someplace to stay after you sell the duplex, you’re always welcome to move in here. We have much more room than we need.”

  Duke murmured, “Thank you, Doctor Takahashi.”

  My mother clicked her tongue and said, “I told you to call me Toshiko or Mom, whichever you’re comfortable with.” He smiled at that.

  A thought occurred to me, and I turned to my parents and said, “Please tell me you’ll never sell this place and downsize.”

  My dad shook his head. “No chance. This is your home as much as ours, and we’d never sell it out from under you. Besides, it may be bigger than we need right now, but we see a lot more grandchildren and great-grandchildren in our future, so we’ll need the room.”

  “If you’re counting on me for the great-grandkids, you’re going to have a hell of a long wait,” Max told them. “First, I need to find a J-O-B. Then I need to move out of my parents’ house and find a big, strong, handsome man to knock me up. It’s all outlined in my forty-year plan.”

  I chuckled at that as I returned my head to Duke’s thigh. As my nephew started drawing again, I said, “You never know, Max. Life has a way of surprising you, and all of that might happen a lot sooner than you think. Except for the part about you getting knocked up. But hey, with a forty-year plan, maybe modern medicine will catch up to you.”

  “Or not.” Max leaned in and concentrated on a spot on my side as he said, “Have you guys talked about having kids?”

  I glanced up at Duke and said, as he went back to stroking my hair, “Yup. We definitely want to start a family, when the time is right.”

  Max asked, “How will you know when that is?”

  “I think we’ll just know.”

  My nephew shook his head and murmured, “It’s weird. You look and sound like the same old Quinn. But then this super grown-up stuff comes out of your mouth, and I’m like, who is this dude?”

  *****

  Dare stared at me as I pulled off my shirt and asked, “Holy shit, did you go out today and get a huge tatt?”

  “No, it’s just temporary,” I said as I turned toward the mirror in the threadbare dressing room and admired Max’s handiwork. He’d drawn a gorgeous, Japanese-inspired pattern of colorful peonies interspersed with life-size koi, framed by branches and fanciful swirls. It extended from my chest to my knee, all along one side of my body, and it was so beautifully rendered that I was sad it’d fade out in a few days. “I’m still planning on getting a traditionally applied tattoo over the squiggle on my ribs, but I wanted to wait until after tonight. I didn’t think it would heal well with all the rehearsing we’ve been doing, especially since that’s right where Haley’s hands end up every time he catches me.”

  “Speaking of Haley, I wonder where he is,” Dare said. It was a little over an hour until curtain, and the rest of us had arrived early to warm up before the show.

  “I thought he’d be the first one here,” a dancer named Oz said, looking up from his spot on the floor, where he was stretching his hamstrings. “Did you try texting him?”

  “Yeah, and I haven’t heard back, but I’m not worried. I’m sure he’ll be here,” Dare said as he pulled on his costume, which was a tiny pair of skin-tight shorts, made out of a stretchy material. For the first act, everyone was dressed in black, except me. I remained in white throughout the show, and pieces of my costume tore away, so it kept getting smaller.

  A minute later, Duke, Skye, Christian and Shea joined us in the dressing room. They were all wearing black pants and long-sleeved black T-shirts with the troupe’s logo, ‘DtoD’, printed on the front in red. They were acting as our ushers before the show, along with some of Dare’s former students. Then they were changing into solid black shirts and knit caps and coming out onto the stage during the performance to switch out the sets. The performance was in three acts, each thirty minutes long with no intermission, so our crew would become part of the show.

  Skye said, “The tech guys wanted me to let you know everything’s good to go. The sound and lighting checks went off without a hitch.”

  “That’s good news.” Dare pulled his husband into his arms and asked, “Did you see Milo out there? He was here, but then he disappeared.” The twenty-two-year-old college kid who’d composed the original score was more nervous than we were.

  Christian took a seat at one of the makeup tables and said, “He’s pacing in the back alley, which is probably a good place for him, because he looked like he was about to throw up. Way better than puking in the theater.” He checked his reflection in the mirror and ran a fingertip below his lower lashes to either clean up or smear his black eyeliner. I wasn’t sure which.

  Duke came up to me as I wriggled into my costume. It looked a bit like a very short sarong over a Speedo. The spandex material draped one hip and was cut high over the other, so the left side of my body with the temporary tattoo was almost totally bare, aside from a narrow strap spanning my hipbone. I put on the tight tank top that went with my costume, and I’d already applied a bit of makeup, so I was totally set after that. As I pulled on a hoodie and slipped my feet into my sneakers, I announced, “I’m going to find a quiet corner to warm up and calm the hell down, and I’m taking my boyfriend with me, so you’ll have
to make do without him for a while.”

  Duke and I left the dressing room hand-in-hand and ran into Haley in the hallway. I said, “Hey. Dare tried to call you.”

  He grinned at me. “I know. I was burning off some energy before the show, so I couldn’t exactly get to my phone.”

  I grinned too and asked, “What was his name?”

  Haley brushed back his short dreadlocks as he thought about that. “Gavin, maybe? Or Guillermo? Something with a G. Or maybe a C?”

  “Seriously?”

  “Don’t even think about acting shocked, Quinn. You used to be just like me, before you fell madly in love with your hot cop.” That was very true, although my days of sleeping with pretty much anyone felt like a lifetime ago.

  He winked at us before continuing to the dressing room, and Duke and I made our way to the cluttered backstage. The theater had been built in the 1920s, and it seemed as if every show that had graced its stage over the last century had left behind a dusty prop or two. For the last twenty or thirty years, it had become a venue for adult entertainment. I wasn’t sure if that meant screening dirty movies, or some kind of live show. Either way, its new owners were trying to turn things around for the faded theater and gain some legitimacy. I had to wonder if our somewhat avant-garde performance was going to help or hinder their efforts.

  Duke and I settled in on a faded, red velvet couch in a forgotten corner of the big backstage. It had a few questionable-looking stains on it, so I said, “I was just wondering if this theater used to feature live adult entertainment. If so, do you think this couch was part of the act?”

  He grinned and said, “I refuse to give that too much thought.”

  “Remember my used porn mattress when I first moved in? You were so freaked out by it that I was pretty sure you were germ-phobic. But now here you are, willingly sitting on a possible sex couch with stains of unknown origin!”

  “For the record, that bed was disgusting, on multiple levels.” He thought about it and said, “How was that only a month and a half ago? My life is so different now.”

  I put my head on his chest and said, “Mine too.”

  He began to massage my shoulders. “You’re still nervous, aren’t you?”

  “Oh yeah. It’s not stage fright, I just really need everything to go perfectly tonight. Dare and the rest of the guys have so much riding on this.”

  “So do you.”

  “Not like they do. I could always come up with a plan B, but….”

  He finished the sentence for me. “But for a lot of those guys, this is their last shot.” He wrapped his arms around me and said, “They’re why you chose this troupe. I never fully got it until just now. I know you really didn’t want that job with the San Francisco Ballet, but any one of a hundred other dance companies, including plenty of independents, would have hired you in a heartbeat and offered a good salary. And yet, you chose Dare’s troupe because they needed you, and because you could bring the spotlight to them, right? You sacrificed your career for their sake.”

  “It won’t be a sacrifice if the show is a success.”

  He said, “No wonder you’ve been nervous. It must feel like the future of every guy in the troupe is riding on your shoulders.”

  “That’s exactly what I feel like, but I can do this. I’ve trained for most of my life, and now I just need to go out there and give it everything I’ve got.”

  Duke kissed the top of my head and said, “That audience is so lucky, because they’re about to find out how amazing you are.”

  *****

  My heart was pounding in my ears as the curtain rose at eight sharp. The set pieces displayed the dark cityscape Christian had painted. The audience was hushed.

  As the music built, I took a deep breath. Duke squeezed my hand, and I looked up at him. He held my gaze for a long moment, and there was so much love in his eyes. Beyond him, Dare and the rest of the troupe fidgeted with nervous anticipation.

  I exhaled slowly. It was time. Right on cue, I walked out onto the enormous stage by myself. I couldn’t see the audience beyond the bright, white lights, but I knew they were there. Four hundred pairs of eyes were on me.

  Twenty years of my life had built to this moment. I spun slowly, then extended my arms overhead and stretched out to the right. When I raised my head, I caught a glimpse of Duke. He didn’t look nervous. He just looked proud.

  The tempo picked up, and I threw myself into my routine. I ran across the stage and leapt into the air. I stopped thinking and worrying and just danced.

  For ten minutes, I was alone on the stage. I poured everything I had into each moment. The score built and built. I leapt and spun, then did it again and again, until the music reached its crescendo, and I dropped onto the stage.

  All was silent for a moment. Then the audience exploded with applause. I could actually feel it vibrating through me, as my heart pounded from the sheer exertion of what I’d just done.

  As the music began to build again, Dare and Cleveland joined me on the stage, and we began to dance in perfect unison. Every few minutes, two more dancers joined us, until I was flanked by five dancers on each side. We executed a perfect series of jumps, and then we spun around. I was the axis, and the dancers coiled around me. They all came in close, forming a cocoon of sorts. I could feel the warmth of their bodies as they closed in.

  The music rose, and the other dancers fell away as Haley strode onto the stage. I stepped over and around them and held Haley’s gaze as I approached him. We circled each other at center stage. I stopped moving, and Haley orbited me, coming closer on each pass. He stopped right beside me, and then he reached out and touched my cheek. End of act one.

  As the audience applauded again and the lights dimmed, long strips of fabric unfurled from the ceiling. Duke and the rest of the crew crossed the stage, turning the giant, three-sided set pieces to display colorful graffiti panels. Act one had been about two men meeting. The second was about our courtship, and for the first half of act two, Haley and I were alone on the stage. Our movements were gentle, tentative, as if we were getting to know each other. We kissed at the halfway point as the score paused, almost as if it was taking a breath.

  Then the tempo picked up. I ran across the stage and leapt, and Haley caught me around the waist, lifted me high overhead, and spun. The rest of the troupe joined us. They were all dressed in red. Haley and I stepped back as they took center stage. He and I kept dancing, but slowly. Adrenaline coursed through me. I caught my breath and hit my mark as the music changed again.

  We acted out jealousy as the score turned harsh, discordant. Haley crossed the stage and ran his hand across Dare’s bare chest. I tried to drag him away. When Haley and I began to dance again, our movements were sharp and aggressive. Red light bathed the stage. The white banners acted as movie screens, and jagged, abstract imagery was projected onto them. The graffiti backgrounds became garish, almost nightmarish as the colored lights brought some elements to the foreground and dropped others back. We used our bodies to act out our argument, and Haley tore my tank top from me and cast it aside.

  At the end of act two, Haley and I were on opposite ends of the stage with our backs to each other. The rest of the troupe was divided, half on his side, half on mine. He and I remained fixed in place as our friends danced around us, then stilled. The music stilled with them. Once again, applause filled the theater.

  Act three began quietly. Soft blue lights replaced the red. The other dancers left the stage as our crew rotated the set pieces to the third side. The paintings were abstract and reminded me of an indistinct reflection on water.

  Haley and I glanced at each other, then approached slowly. Our movements were tentative as we danced together. I reached out and touched his jaw, and the lighting became brighter.

  Over the next half hour, we acted out falling in love through dance. Small movements became bold. The other dancers took the stage in white costumes smeared with bright colors and swirled around us. Haley and I executed a f
lawless series of grand jettes across the stage, soaring together.

  The score swelled, became joyous, and we kissed. All around us, the dancers grabbed handfuls of colored powder and threw them into the air. Spotlights flickered and brought the abstract backgrounds to life, creating the illusion of movement, as if a gentle tide was ebbing and flowing.

  Haley and I came together at center stage. We grabbed at each other, acting out desire. I tore away his costume, leaving him in just little, white briefs. He did the same with my sarong.

  The rest of the troupe paired off as we danced. Our movements conveyed joy and passion, love and sex. Clouds of bright color bloomed on the stage as the pairs swirled around us and pelted us and the white banners with powder, transforming us. Haley grabbed some blue powder and smeared it across my chest, and I took a handful of hot pink powder from the little bag Cleveland held out to me and ran it down Haley’s back. Then we joined together, dancing across the stage in perfect unison.

  It was meant to be a celebration of love. It ended up being so much more than any of us ever expected. The music and the dancing, the lights and the color, combined into something ethereal. It transcended all of us. We created magic on that stage, something beautiful and true, raw and honest. I knew that because all I could think about was Duke, and how much I absolutely adored him. I felt like I was showing the world what the contents of my heart looked like, and it was glorious.

  As the final notes of the score faded out, Haley and I knelt at center stage, our bodies intertwined in a passionate embrace. The other pairs of dancers did the same all around us, freezing in different poses. The music ended, and silence filled the theater as the clouds of color settled in slow motion. My heart was pounding, and Haley and I both gasped for breath.

  In the next instant, cheering and applause rose to meet us like an avalanche, thunderous and overwhelming. Haley and I both looked a bit dazed as we let go of each other and stood up. I turned to face the audience. They were all on their feet, every last one of them. I was stunned by the standing ovation.