Adler

by Jessica Gadziala

But something more was a foreign concept to me. Something I didn't even want, didn't know how to want. And even if I did want it, even if I knew how to want it, I wouldn't want it with someone like Adler.

  I mean, I barely knew the man.

  "Ya look like ya need a drink." His voice made me jolt, making me suddenly aware that he had led me through the front entrance and inside toward the coat check without me even noticing, so lost in my own thoughts that I was spacing out while on a job.

  This was why I worked alone.

  Without distractions.

  As his fingers went to my shoulders, brushing over the bare skin near my collarbones as he slipped off my coat, I realized that was exactly what he was.

  A distraction.

  One I needed to get rid of if I wanted to finish this job, cash in, and get back to what was really important.

  "Yeah," I agreed, watching as he handed cash to the attendant, and slipped a tag into his pocket. "But I think it would be best if we split up. We can cover more ground. And if Nicky got back in touch with Thomas, he will tell him to be on the lookout for us together."

  His dark brows lowered at that, something in those eyes of his telling me he was seeing more than the words, was maybe seeing some of the motivation for them beneath.

  But, I reminded myself, that was impossible.

  He didn't know anything.

  And that was just as it should be.

  I needed to get - and keep - my head in the game.

  "Whatever ya say, duchess. It's yer case."

  With that, he turned, and walked away from me.

  It was stupid, but there was an odd ache in my chest seeing it.

  "Pushing that man away," the girl at the coatcheck - blonde, stacked, pretty and well aware of it - started, clicking her tongue, "you are out of your mind, girl. If that was mine, I'd never walk right again."

  "He was never mine to begin with," I mumbled, but somehow, I needed to hear it more than she did.

  I got myself the drink I needed, traded some cash in for chips because I needed to play the part, then I made rounds at a few tables, losing hands, winning some, pretending not to notice Adler's every move as he did the same. Well, except he didn't lose much. The man was on a streak.

  And so far, no Thomas.

  I wanted to know the time, to see if we had wasted too much of it in one place. But my phone was in Adler's pocket. And casinos learned long ago that they got more money out of you if you had no way of knowing how early - or late - it was.

  I sighed, getting up to move to another table, taking one of the empty seats in front of an older gentleman with tired blue eyes and a small red stain on his white shirt. I watched as a hand went his way before I saw a body slide in across from me.

  I almost didn't look up, the bigger part of me already back at the hotel room eating two armfulls of junk food from a convenience store before passing out.

  But my gaze rose to see him.

  The man from the picture.

  The man who tortured and killed a girl.

  Sitting there with a stack of chips like he hadn't a care in the world.

  The bastard.

  I had to work to keep my dark thoughts off of my face, forcing my lips to curve up slightly at the side before ducking my gaze timidly, then raising it again. Playing a role I had countless times before. Because every guy fell for it. I had yet to come across a man who wasn't a sucker for the coy thing.

  Little did they know, there wasn't a shy bone in my body.

  No one could accuse a man thinking with his little brain of being all that bright.

  His hand pushed chips forward, making me think of that hand as it murdered a girl who hardly had a chance to live her life, who now never would. While he thought he could cheat the system, disappear, end up on a beach somewhere likely looking for his next target.

  I watched as the cards were dealt, a movement behind Thomas catching my eye.

  Adler moving to position himself near the closest exit.

  Just in case.

  I could have just done it.

  Hauled him out.

  Right then and there.

  But this wasn't some dive bar.

  This was a casino in Atlantic City.

  We'd both be hauled into the back and questioned.

  I could lose him.

  So, no.

  I couldn't make a scene here.

  I had to get him to leave with me.

  Willingly.

  And there was only one way to do that.

  "Damn," I hissed when my hand came up high. "I guess that is it for me," I added, giving the dealer a smile as I pushed a chip toward him as a tip, then casting another look at Thomas, one that I hoped said Follow me instead of I am going to enjoy bashing your face into a wall before slipping cuffs on you.

  I sashayed my way toward the bar, making it a point not to look, not to get too eager.

  It wasn't long.

  Two minutes tops.

  A body pressed in behind mine.

  Close.

  Too close.

  The kind of close only assholes got to a woman they didn't know in a bar.

  The kind of close where I could feel the tag of his zipper against my asscheek.

  My stomach rolled even as his breath came down low by my ear.

  "Think your luck just turned around, beautiful."

  Ugh.

  It was painful to smile when I wanted to grimace. But the backbar was mirrored. He could see my face. And until we were out of the front doors, he needed to see a woman in heat, wanting, needing him.

  Not one who was repulsed that we were even breathing the same air.

  "Oh, yeah? How's that?"

  "You caught my eye."

  Ugh.

  That wouldn't even have been sexy coming from a guy like Adler who was worthy of it.

  Taking a breath, I leaned back slightly, letting my ass press into his pelvis, my tits push outward. His head over my shoulder, he saw the way they heaved as I took another deep breath.

  "Now that I have your eye," I said, letting my tone dip low, "why don't we get out of here."

  "Why's that?" he asked, hand sliding across my belly. Except it wasn't even my belly. It was my pelvis, fingers just barely an inch from somewhere I definitely didn't want his hand.

  "I have a lot more to show you. I mean... if you want," I added, fluttering my eyelids closed, hoping I hadn't been too bold. Bold women in casinos could easily be mistaken for whores. Not the kind who had too much to drink and not enough sex recently. The kind who made you pay for it.

  "Well, I have a room just a block over."

  "What are we still doing here, then?" I asked, grinding my ass back again, having to swallow back a bit of nausea when I felt his cock pressing into me.

  I slid out from in front of him, feeling his hand sink into my hip as we walked out of the hotel.

  I could feel the coatcheck girl's gaze on me, likely thinking that I had downgraded since coming in.

  Let her think what she wanted.

  But as we stepped outside, I was sorely in want of my coat.

  Stifling a shiver, acting like my nipples weren't threatening to burst through my dress fabric, I let him push me down a block, looking for an alleyway, a parking lot, somewhere that wasn't crowded.

  I didn't want to attract attention.

  Bounty hunters without licenses weren't exactly a favorite of the cops.

  I didn't need to get hauled in, to have the cops take the credit for my skip.

  Seeing a space between buildings, I whirled, slamming my hands into his chest, pushing him into the alley, pressing him against the wall.

  "Can't wait, can you, you little slut?"

  The sleaze slipped into his voice then, making it easy to see how someone so seemingly normal could go wicked so quickly. "Oh, man. That was the wrong fuckin' thing to say," Adler's voice sounded from the mouth of the alley, making me aware that he hadn't disappeared to go grab the car, but had hung back to tra
il behind in case I ran into any kind of trouble.

  "Who the fuck..."

  I took the opportunity his distraction provided to land a scissor strike to his throat, knocking out his words, air, everything.

  Which gave me all I needed.

  Knee to groin.

  Twice.

  For good measure.

  Uppercut to jaw.

  Finally, fist to liver.

  As much pain as I could possibly inflict in such a short amount of time.

  "Hand me my wallet," I demanded, waving a hand backward at Adler impatiently. There was the barest of pauses before I felt it slam down in my hand. I flipped it open, keeping an eye on Thomas as he struggled to find breath, not even thinking of stupid things like trying to fight back.

  "The fuck is that?" Adler asked as I produced a pill, slipping it into Thomas's mouth as he gasped, holding his mouth closed until I was sure it dissolved.

  "Rufilin."

  "Ya got to be shitetin' me," he said, but sounded more amused than anything.

  "He's big and mean. It's a long drive."

  "If ya were on yer own, how did ya expect to get him to the car and in it in the first place?"

  "I would have left him here. Nothing new, people drunk or high losing their shit in an alley. It would take me five minutes to get my car. Ten more to drag him in. Easy enough to explain. My boyfriend or father or little brother can't handle his liquor after losing all his cash at the tables. I've even had people help me drag the guys into the car. Speaking of, can you go get it?"

  "Aye. Here," he said, moving closer. I was too busy watching Thomas, never knowing how long it took the roofies to kick in, not wanting to be caught with my guard down. I didn't know what his intentions were until I felt something warm and heavy slide over my shoulders. "My jacket?" I asked, hearing the surprise in my own voice.

  "Saw ya leaving. Figured I would grab it for ya in case ya were too busy to get it."

  "That was..." Thoughtful. Sweet. Unexpected. "Nice," I decided on, feeling a warmth blooming across my chest, matching the cozy sensation enveloping me from the shield of my coat.

  "I'll be right back. I'd tell ya to stay on yer toes, but I've seen how you handle insults. Don't want to offend ya."

  Then he was off, coming back so fast that he must have ran. And schmoozed the valet.

  He hauled Thomas into the backseat, securing him at the wrists and ankles with cuffs I kept for just that purpose.

  "Ya wanna hang back? I'll run in and gather our shite."

  So he did.

  And so we went.

  Back up the parkway.

  All the way back to Navesink Bank.

  Never saying so much as a word.

  Until the awkwardness became too much to bear.

  "I figured I would drop you here. Geoff needs a few to get back into the office to take him off my hands."

  I had just pulled up in front of The Henchmen MC compound, eyeing up the small group of men out front who were watching my car with curiosity.

  Adler said nothing, didn't reach to pull open his door, but I could feel his gaze on me, insistent, demanding. Wanting my attention.

  When I gave it, I saw a mixture of curiosity, disappointment, and... challenge.

  "Tired of my company already, duchess?" he asked, head ducking to the side.

  "It's late. Your brothers probably miss you."

  "Yeah, that explains it," he said, voice dry. "I'll see ya around, Lou," he added, the words like a promise, like a vow.

  I had no doubts that he would make sure of it.

  "Thanks for the help," I remembered to add as he opened the door to climb out.

  "Even though ya didn't need it," he said, giving me a nod as his brothers whistled and called out to him, prodding at him about his outfit.

  "Bye," I called. To my damn self since he was slamming the door.

  Feeling oddly dismissed, I peeled off, handing off Thomas to Geoff, then waiting for him to get me the cash out of his safe.

  I didn't go home.

  To pack another bag.

  To get some sleep.

  To change out of the blasted dress.

  All the while trying to tell myself it was because I had time to make up for, that I had been slacking on my real mission in order to put food in my belly.

  Instead of what it really was.

  Me avoiding running into Adler again.

  Me being a fucking coward.

  FIVE

  Adler

  "I think I like her even more now," Lenny declared from her position perched on the couch, her head in Edison's lap, his fingers absentmindedly running through the soft-looking strands. Her long leg kicked out, tapping me in the rib with the tips of her combat boots as I teetered on the arm of the couch in a compound that was making me more and more claustrophobic each passing day.

  Because we were trapped in it, under orders not to leave unless we had permission.

  It wasn't doing great things for me.

  And my memories.

  That made me have a strong aversion to being held anywhere against my will.

  Even if I understood the reason.

  Even if one of my brothers was still on the mend from an unexpected attack, a new old threat putting everyone on edge. All of us - and our women and children - possible targets.

  I got it.

  That didn't mean I liked it.

  That didn't mean it wasn't fucking with my head.

  I got out sometimes.

  When I had guard duty for one of the women who had a job they couldn't - or didn't want to - walk away from.

  I volunteered as much as possible for Meryl's, keeping an eye on Lenny who was perfectly capable of taking care of herself. But, hey, it gave me a chance to spend time with someone I could maybe - just maybe - consider a friend.

  I wasn't good at that.

  Friendship.

  Knowing that it came with expectations and conditions.

  They'd want to know me.

  And I wasn't keen on letting people do that.

  Seeing things like pity and disgust in their eyes.

  The disgust I could handle, knew I deserved. I was comfortable with all the fucked up shite I had done in my life.

  It was the pity I couldn't abide, didn't want to be confronted with.

  For a boy I had been.

  Knowing they would see it through a different lens than I did.

  If you thought of my situation, you'd think words. Trapped. Young. Helpless.

  And while I had been trapped, I had never been young, had life age me twice the normal speed from the time I was five years old. And helpless, ha, no one would think that if they knew who I had been, what I had needed to do, what I had done in the end.

  It was easier to keep people at a distance.

  Because if I gave them the bit about the basement, they'd want to understand why I was the kid I had been already when I'd been hauled in there.

  And those older wounds, yeah, those were ones that no one got to know.

  Not even Ward who had been in that basement with me.

  So I didn't try too hard. With my brothers. With their women. To make close bonds.

  But then there was Lenny.

  And Lenny was different.

  Colder.

  Life-hardened.

  Chill.

  Sarcastic as fuck.

  And she didn't show me sympathy when things occasionally came up, when there were peeks at my past.

  She just let me be.

  If I was going to be on guard duty, in general, I preferred it be with her.

  Though I had done most of the jobs over the end of winter, the middle of spring, the hot as balls summer we were trapped in now.

  The library with Reese and Peyton, making Reese beam when she found out that there weren't many classics she could recommend to me that I hadn't already read. And trading dirty jokes with Peyton.

  The office with Maze, spending more time bullshiteting than getting actu
al work done.

  At the salon with Kennedy, enjoying the fuck out of their over-the-top conversations that went sexual ninety-percent of the time.

  I'd even been here many nights, taking over where Reeve would normally have relieved Roan in the glass room. Even though I knew it was less because he didn't want to do it, and more because he wanted to spend time with his girl, as new and novel as that situation was.

  Pretty Rey with her menagerie of animals, kind heart, and unnatural fucking love for Brussels sprouts.

  I mean, seriously, the woman snuck them into a smoothie she'd made me once. Like I wouldn't notice it was green when the berries implied it should have been red.

  But she had one of those soft souls, so I chugged the damn thing, agreeing - and lying through my teeth - when she declared See, you don't taste the green at all!

  I wouldn't begrudge the man his time with his woman. The poor fuck had earned some good, some soft, some sweet after the shitestorm he had been through, the years he had punished himself for it after.

  Even if I didn't like the glass room.

  Even if those long nights in a room by myself gave me nothing but time to think.

  And for a man like me, with a past like mine, thinking would normally be a torturous thing.

  It was that.

  Except it wasn't my father, my childhood, my time in the basement, the years of blood and pain after that invaded my mind.

  No.

  It was fucking her.

  That woman.

  With the sass, the face, the eyes, the mouth, the ass, the moves, the whole bloody package.

  The woman who had somehow subjected me to endless ribbing from Lenny. And, because of her, the other men. Namely Sugar and Roderick, with the occasional comment from Virgin as well.

  "Haven't seen her in months, Len."

  "I know!" she said, smiling big. "That's what is so great. You spend a day with the woman, and you're smitten even now. Months after. Without even having seen her when she disappeared into the night. To, I imagine, get shot of you. It's amazing."

  "Ya and me, we got different definitions of amazing. And 'smitten' is pushin' it."

  "You went on for like seven solid minutes about her lower back dimples."

  I probably had.

  Drunk.

  Which should have meant it wouldn't get drudged up again.

  She shoulda known that.