Too Good at Goodbyes
Page 26
“You’re a good man, Kane Windham,” she murmurs softly. Then, in a terrible but adorable imitation of my accent once again, she tacks on, “Just gotta get your head outta your ass, darlin’.”
Text from Kane
First off, I’m sorry for the stupid texts I sent you. I was a moron. Again. Not a complete shock, I reckon. I’m pretty damn embarrassed by them, but you’re not reading these, so I guess it doesn’t really matter, does it? Reckon I should be more embarrassed by the fact that I keep sending you texts you don’t read.
I’ve got to be honest. I have no right to be hurt by it, I know that, but I can’t help it, Princess. Seeing that photo of you at the movie premiere with another guy by your side fucking gutted me. I reckon you’ve moved on, and he looks all right, I guess. Watched the footage of you when you tripped. He should’ve been holding your goddamn hand. Should’ve grabbed you in time like David did. He’s not good enough for you. Hell, I know that’s ironic coming from me, because I sure as shit fall in the same category. But I’ll tell you this. No way in hell would I have let you stumble if I’d been there with you. No way in hell.
Fact or fiction: I hope you’re happy with him.
Fuck. I wish it were 100% fact. Wish I could be a big enough man to say it. But I’d be lying. Because I wish like hell you were with me. Wish you were happy with me.
I miss you, Princess. And I’m so fucking sorry. For everything.
Entertainment Online!
BREAKING NEWS
Due to a last-minute scheduling conflict, the NFL has announced that The Butterfly Effect will not be performing for the Super Bowl halftime show. Instead, Simone King will be the headline act with special guest, Matthias Tobin.
Ratings are expected to surpass prior years as King has received significant attention recently for being a whistleblower and for plainly speaking on the topic of sexual assault after she testified in the much-publicized trial against Shaun Sinquist.
King is well-known for being the “Ice Princess of Pop” and not showing her emotions upon personal tragedy and breakups, but loyal fans know and love her for her honest and unfiltered responses, as well as her soulful ballads touching on the topics of love, heartbreak, and self-love.
She’s proven to be much more than just a pretty face with her broad range and powerful voice, but also noteworthy is her talent on-screen in the romantic drama The Last Love Letter.
Matthias Tobin, known for his falsetto and croony ballads, and whom King’s fans will recognize as her BFF who often shows up in her Instagram feed, will be sure to garner many female viewers during the halftime show.
Viewers can tune in at 6:30 p.m. EST/3:30 p.m. PST this Sunday on NBC or on the NBC app.
Text Messages
Text from Kane
Doubtful you’ll read this, but I wanted to say congratulations, Princess. I’m so damn proud of you. I just heard that your movie’s still number one at the box office, but not only that, you’ll also be performing at the Super Bowl. That’s awesome.
The article I read today said you might sing a new song you’ve written. I know it’ll be amazing. Hell, you’ll rock that halftime show, without a doubt. I’m glad Matthias will be with you for it.
I was down in Saint Augustine visiting my cousin, Jude, and saw a little bookstore nearby. Had to check it out. Probably sounds stupid, but whenever I see one these days, I have to go inside. Even if they have one with what I now know is a “usual” cover and not anything unique, I feel closer to you somehow when I hold a copy of The Scarlet Letter. I know it doesn’t make a damn bit of difference, but I’d give anything to talk to you. To hear your voice.
Fact or fiction: My number one regret is how I handled things with you and that I let you walk away.
It’s fact, Princess. 100% fact.
Text from Simone
Thank you for the book. I won’t lie and say I opened it right away when David told me it was from you. It sat around, still packaged, until the other day. I wish I could say I don’t, but I miss you, too. And I hate myself a little for actually admitting it. That’s fact, although it’d be so much damn easier if it were all fiction.
Also shouldn’t admit this either, but I have to be honest and say that drunk Kane is pretty adorable.
And Holden’s Moonstruck series is not a dumbass show. He’s a nice guy who happens to know Matty and agreed to escort me to the premiere since Matty got a terrible case of food poisoning.
Text from Kane
You have no idea how great it is to hear from you. Damn if that text from you hasn’t made my week a million times better already.
Glad to hear you opened it. Hope it’s a cover you don’t have yet. And I can’t lie. I googled and found some autographed copies of The Scarlet Letter with rare covers. I tried to pick one that was said to be rare and signed by Nathaniel. If you already have it, I reckon you could resell it. It shipped a few days ago, so you should get it in the mail pretty soon.
Reckon it makes me a dick to say it, but I’m glad to hear Holden’s just a friend of Matthias. And as much as I liked hearing you think drunk me is adorable, he can’t make another appearance. I paid dearly for that shitty stunt.
Fact or fiction: I’m sorry for fucking things up between us.
It’s fact. And I can’t stop telling you, because it’s true.
Text from Simone
That book cost way too much. I wish you hadn’t spent that much money on it. But thank you. It’s awesome, and I appreciate it.
Text from Kane
Glad to hear you got it. And don’t give a thought to the cost. I don’t mind spending it on you in the least.
Saw your Instagram posts. Looks like you had a great time on vacation. Hope you’re rested up. You deserve it with how hard you work.
Fact or fiction: I didn’t screenshot and save one of the pics of you wearing that big sunhat, looking beautiful as hell.
That’s fiction.
Text from Simone
If it were anyone else, it’d be creepy. Though I’m surprised that’s the one you saved since it’s only from the shoulders up. Matty snuck my phone and posted one of me and Karina on the sly when we were building that sandcastle. By the time I noticed it on my Instagram page, it’d gotten shared and liked so many times, I figured what the hell and left it. Even though it shows that stupid roll on my stomach since I’m bending over.
Text from Kane
Well, that would come off creepy if I admitted to saving that one, too. And that little roll doesn’t make you any less gorgeous. It makes you real.
Text from Simone
What are we doing? With all this texting? Do you just want someone to message with? Do you just miss us having sex? What is it?
Text from Kane
I’ve typed, reread, erased, and retyped this so many damn times because I don’t want you to misunderstand me. I miss you, and it’s not just for the sex or to have someone to talk to. I miss you as a person. Sure, we only spent a short time together, but those were some of the best moments of my life. No exaggeration.
Why I keep texting you is for selfish reasons. Because even when you weren’t answering my texts, it still felt like a connection to you. I just haven’t been able to let go. I keep hoping for a chance that you’ll let me show you how much I care about you and prove it to you. Prove that I’m all in and I’ve got my head on straight.
But if you tell me I’m wasting my time and there’s not even the slightest chance for us, the slightest chance I can make things up to you, then I’ll stop. It’ll kill my goddamn soul, but I’ll stop if that’s what you want.
Text from Simone
So if I told you right now I want you to stop contacting me, to stop sending me books, you would?
Text from Kane
I would. I’d do anything for you, even if it’s the last thing I want to do.
Text from Simone
If I gave you tasks to prove you’re all in, would you do them? Would you prove your undying love?
>
Answer carefully, macho man.
Text from Kane
Absolutely.
And that’s Mr. Macho Man to you, buddy.
Text from Simone
Sorry. Matty clearly got a hold of my phone. Although, I guess it was obvious with that macho man stuff. LOL I need to change the password yet again.
Text from Kane
No worries. :)
But if you’re wondering, my answer’s the same. I’d do whatever you asked to prove it.
Text from Simone
I doubt I’d be able to come up with anything. The only thing that comes to mind is maybe making you sing my song Stay at a karaoke bar.
Just kidding, because that song’s even challenging for me to sing.
Text from Simone
—A few days later—
OMG, that video of you singing Stay has to be THE MOST hilarious thing I’ve seen in years!
Text from Kane
:) What’s the next task?
Text from Simone
Your tasks are as follows:
1. Get a tattoo on your body that relates somehow to S
Slipped and sent too quick. Sorry! :)
1. Get a tattoo that relates somehow to me.
2. Have a trustworthy friend like Foster let me know you’re really not canoodling with that Lucia chick.
3. Read The Scarlet Letter if you haven’t already (and don’t cheat and read the summaries online because I WILL KNOW
4. You’ve never actually told me how you feel about me other than that you miss me. It would help if you TOLD me how you feel.
Text from Kane
Guess she didn’t change her password yet, Tobin?
Text from Simone
I know not what you speak of, burly man. :D
Actually, I guessed the new password after two tries. My sweet little grasshopper forgets just how wise I am.
Text from Kane
Wanted to show you the new tat I just got. Sending the pic over now.
Text from Simone
Kane! Holy shit. That’s beautiful. I can’t believe you got the words from Stay. That’s one of my favorite lines, too—Real love never goes away.
And I’m sorry. Damn Matty. The little shit needs to mind his own business.
Text from Simone
Okay, so I got a call from your friend Foster today. Did you know he was planning to do that?
Text from Kane
I didn’t know he was planning to call today. I asked him about it a few days ago and he told me, “Noelle said I’m not allowed to call Simone until I’ve rehearsed what to say with her AND she’s sitting beside me in case I fuck things up.”
Please tell me he didn’t fuck things up.
Text from Simone
Not at all. It was very sweet.
Text from Kane
Sweet? Are you sure it was Fos? LOL
Text from Simone
It was definitely him. He has a way with words, that much is certain. It was enlightening to hear things from him.
He confirmed you haven’t been in touch with Lucia. (Or canoodling, as Matty said.)
Text from Kane
I reckon I’m pushing my luck, but I have to ask. Is there any chance we could talk? I really miss your voice, Princess.
Text from Simone
I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. Honestly, I’m still pretty gun-shy.
Text from Kane
I respect that, Princess. All in due time.
Text from Kane
I read The Scarlet Letter. Damn, that was twisted. Chillingsworth pretending he didn’t know her and making her keep the secret. How could a dude do that and let his own child be shunned? He pissed me off.
Hester was badass, though. She was brave and bold. Anyone else would’ve probably been in the corner, crying all the damn time or moping around. Not her. She basically gave the middle finger to all her haters and persevered. Cared for her little girl and did her best to protect her.
I get it now, why it’s your favorite. You’re like Hester, but instead of the red A on your chest, it’s the shit the press spreads about you.
Text from Simone
I’ve never actually admitted to that before, but yes. That’s why it’s my favorite. I’ve always felt a kinship to Hester.
Did you at least enjoy the book a little?
Text from Kane
I did. It was different and it took a chapter or two to get into it, but once I got used to the writing, it was a quick read for me.
And, Princess, I’d read the ingredients on the back of canned soup if it made you happy.
Text from Simone
I know I asked this before, but what is all this? With you and me? We haven’t actually spoken in months, but now we text. You did most of the tasks Matty gave you, but what does any of that mean?
I just can’t keep this up if all you want is a friend. Or a friend with benefits. I can’t, Kane. I’m not made that way.
Text from Kane
It means I’m playing for keeps, Princess.
42
Simone
Super Bowl Sunday
Hard Rock Stadium
Miami Gardens, Florida
“This is a little different, and I hope you like it,” I rasp into the mic.
Thundering noise sounds from over sixty-seven thousand people in the stadium, and like every time I perform, the surreal quality never quite fades.
“I’d like to dedicate this song to a special person. It’s called ‘Embers.’” I duck my chin, willing myself to maintain my composure.
It’s been nearly a week since I last heard from Kane, and his radio silence has me second-guessing everything now. Damn him, he reeled me in with those texts and doing those tasks Matty sent him, making me think he wanted me—all of me. Not just for sex. Not just for friendship.
Once I strum the first note on the guitar, everything else fades, and I just sing. My voice emerges from the shards scattered within my chest where my working heart once was.
All because of one man I can’t seem to get over.
Fourteen minutes. That’s how long my halftime performance was. Fourteen minutes of performing song after song, including my duets with Matty.
And now it’s over.
Relief rushes through me with the force of whitewater rapids as Matty and I walk back through the stadium, past countless personnel—security and otherwise.
It’s over. I did it. I headlined my first ever halftime show at the Super Bowl.
“Holy shit,” I mutter for what has to be the trillionth time.