by C. A. Harms
I was hesitant about leaving my mom alone that night in the home she’d shared with my father, but she practically led Darren and me to my car, saying that a night alone with my father’s memories was the best medicine after a long, tiring day.
I placed my purse on the small table in my kitchenette and turned around to find Darren standing only a few feet away. His gaze roamed over each inch of my tiny apartment. It felt even smaller with him here.
“It’s not much,” I whispered, suddenly feeling embarrassed by the life I’d chosen to live prior to my escape. How could I have ever settled the way I had? It was pathetic, really.
Or maybe I was just blind, or spoiled now that I’d gotten a glimpse of what true happiness felt like.
“I know you’ve had a long day,” he began as he lowered his bag to the floor next to a small love seat near the door. “And I’m sure talking over things is the last thing you want, but—”
I shook my head. “I wanna talk,” I assured him.
I wanted to know how he felt, and I had so much to say—things I should have said days ago.
He appeared relieved, and that settled my nervousness.
“Do you want something to drink?” I asked, though I didn’t know what I could truly offer. I hadn’t been here for weeks and hadn’t had time today to even think of grabbing anything from the store. I was relieved when he shook his head.
“I just want us to work through this,” he confessed. “I’m not gonna lie, the last few days have been unsettling. I was an ass.”
“It wasn’t all you,” I told him. “I should have done things differently, explained my plans.”
“I didn’t make that too easy for you to do,” he said. “In order to explain something, the person you’re talking to has to listen. And I’m sorry I didn’t, but I’m listening now.”
He took my hand and led me toward my love seat. It was a small, old hand-me-down I found at a yard sale right after I got the keys to my first place. Tucker and my father carried it up two flights of stairs only to find that the legs made it too wide to fit through the door. I remembered their startled expressions when I popped off the drill bit on my father wireless drill and replaced it with the saw extension. I cut off the legs one by one, smiling and ignoring their protests as they held it in the air. I fixed the problem, but in their eyes, I’d lost my mind.
“I know it’s my fault you got scared.” I turned back to Darren as his voice pulled me from the memory I was lost in.
“What?” I asked, feeling confused.
“I shouldn’t have pushed for you to move in with me. I was ready, but that didn’t mean you were.” He held my hand, gently skimming his thumb over mine. “I just let my ego get in the way, and the rejection outweighed every other emotion I felt.”
“But I wasn’t rejecting you.” I slid in closer, resting my hand on his forearm. “I just didn’t know how to face letting go of the house and everything it meant to me. And knowing I was being forced to because my mother had decided to sell it all just hit me harder than I thought it would. I wasn’t prepared to handle it all.”
He started to interrupt me, but I went on before he could. “I know now that starting over doesn’t mean I’m forgetting my memories of the past. I just panicked, and then my mother told me she’s selling the house and moving to Vermont. So that on top of it all just made me act like an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot,” he whispered.
“My actions almost cost me the three greatest people in my world,” I said as tears filled my eyes. “So yes, I was an idiot.”
He looked as if he wanted to argue again, but he held back.
“I just thought I could come back here and settle everything. Maybe work through all these unresolved feelings so I could finally say good-bye to it all. I never intended to walk away from the three of you forever.” I took in a shuddering breath. “Nothing could make me do that. Vivian and Violet mean the world to me, and I’ve barely been able to manage a day without their smiles. And you,” I whispered hoarsely. The idea of never feeling Darren’s arms around me again made my heart race with panic.
He looked at me with hopeful eyes, almost pleading with me to continue.
“You make me unbelievably happy. Each touch, each kiss makes me feel as if I’m floating. That may sound cheesy, but it’s true. It’s a rush of so many emotions tied into one moment that leaves me feeling breathless. One hug from you can make all the pain subside. You’re my happy, you and the girls.”
It was so hard to wrap what I was feeling up into words. How the hell did you explain such an intense love to someone? Not one word or one sentence, or even a million sentences could describe the feelings I had for Darren. My chest ached with the love I felt for him.
“I never thought I’d feel the things I feel for you again. I never thought I find love,” he confessed as he placed his palm against my cheek. “I love you, Greer. And I want you in North Carolina with us, but I understand if you need time. We’ll wait for you.”
I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch. I didn’t want them to wait for me. I wanted to go back to where we were a week ago and get lost in that happiness. I wanted to erase the last few days of sadness and curl up with the girls for a movie night full of popcorn, M&M’s, and giggles. I wanted their sweet hugs and snuggles.
“I wanna go home,” I whispered with my eyes still closed.
I prayed he’d understand just what I was saying, and when his lips pressed to mine, I knew he did.
They were my home.
***
I loved the way he smelled, so clean and manly.
I loved the way he held me close with his arms curled around me from behind and my back pressed tightly to his chest.
I loved the gentle sound of his breathing as it tickled my neck with each exhale. I had never in my life felt so treasured.
“What are you thinking?” he whispered against my neck, surprising me. I thought he was asleep.
The room was quiet, the light from the bathroom just across the hall barely lit my small bedroom, and I had been lost in my thoughts.
“I was thinking about how amazing it feels to be in your arms,” I replied truthfully. “How happy it makes me that I’m the one you’re holding.”
“It makes me happy too,” he confessed, squeezing me tighter. “It’s a space meant for you, Angel.” He sounded sleepy. “Thank you for loving us,” he added, and it pulled heavily on my heart.
I turned in his arms and faced him, locking my gaze with his. “Thank you for making it so easy to love you,” I replied as I leaned in closer and kissed his lips.
We fell asleep holding one another securely. Before I finally gave in to the day’s exhaustion, he said three words I’d never tire of. “You’re my angel.”
I loved hearing that. Almost as much as I loved hearing him say he loved me.
Chapter 33
Darren
I’d been in St. Louis for five days, and I missed my girls. Greer and I would call them each night and they’d tell us about their day with Grandma and Grandpa. They even told us about Uncle Dean bringing home ice cream and a new doll for each of them.
That surprised me a bit, and the curious look on Greer’s face indicated she too was shocked. Dean didn’t do shit like that, and it made me wonder what was going on with my party-animal brother. But the excitement in their voices quickly made us forget our questions.
I think me being here not only helped Greer, but helped her mother as well. I learned a lot about Wendy in the last few days, including that she also has an amazing heart. She was warm and caring, and I instantly knew were Greer’s compassionate side came from. They were so much alike it was crazy. Sometimes they laughed about memories of Greer’s father, which would soon fade into tears. And sometimes they would create a Darren sandwich as I held one on each side of me, offering them the support they needed.
Wendy would always break the silence by making us laugh if it went on too long. She’d announce the most random things.
“Darren, you are a yummy specimen,” she said once. On another occasion, she brought Greer to tears of laughter. “Darren, are you sure I can’t convince you to come to Vermont with me? You smell delicious, and those muscles of yours make me feel young again.”
I knew it was just a way for her to defuse a tense, sad moment with humor. I imagined she would spend the remainder of her life deeply in love with the man she lost. I could sympathize. I was in her shoes once, and I hoped she could find a way to be happy again, like I had.
In the next few days, they packed everything they wished to keep and sold off or donated the rest throughout the city to places and people that meant something to Greer’s father. In that time I saw these two lovely, caring woman fall apart and slowly rebuild themselves. Their strength was inspiring.
They placed the items they chose to keep into separate moving trucks, one heading to Vermont where Wendy would be moving and the other to Carolina Beach. I managed to keep a straight face when Greer rattled of the blue house’s address to the driver. He and I had already arranged for him to deliver those items to my house.
I’d said I’d wait for her to come back to me, and I would have, had she chosen to stay in Missouri, even though I was sure I would have gone insane. But that went right out the window when she told me she wanted to come home. Home not only meant living with me and my girls, it meant having her in my arms, under the same roof, night after night. I’d deal with the consequences later, but I wasn’t going to change my mind. Hell, Boots had been there since her uncle and aunt left a few days after I had. I gave my mother strict instructions on how to care for him, and now the little hairy bastard had taken up residence in my bed. That was also something I’d have to handle when I got home.
***
When we exited the airport in Myrtle Beach, Dean was waiting to take us home. He tested me by placing his arm around Greer’s waist and pulling her close, lifting her feet off the ground in an exaggerated hug. Apparently the fucker wanted to be punched again. The grinding of my teeth was all I could hear.
“Your face looks like a tomato,” Dean laughed as he lowered her to the ground and pointed at me. I noted how he stood behind her as if using her as a shield. “Are you even breathing?” he added, still chuckling.
“Do you wanna keep breathing?” I asked, agitated that his hand was resting very low on her back. “Because if you don’t remove your hand from her ass, I’m guaranteeing you won’t be for long.”
“Okay, Tiger,” Greer said with a laugh and moved away from Dean. She rested her hand against my chest, smiling at me as she did everything she could to regain my attention.
The asshole still did all he could to fire me up. And when his gaze dropped lower to focus on her ass, I grabbed her by the waist and moved her behind me.
Dean took this as all the warning he needed and practically ran around the front of his jeep to get away from me.
“Dude, come on,” he whined, “I was just playing.”
For now I’d let him think I was letting it slide, but later I’d show him that I didn’t forget.
On the ride to my parents’, Greer fell asleep on my shoulder. The last week had really taken a toll on her. I’d heard her moving around her apartment at night, unable to rest. And when she was in bed next to me, her sleep was never peaceful. I hoped being back here would help.
Not even a minute after we pulled into the driveway, I heard the girls shrieking as they rushed out the front door, their smiles wide and their eyes bright with joy.
A spark of life was reignited in Greer as she knelt at the edge of the grass just as the girls wrapped their arms around her neck.
“We missed you,” Vivian said as they toppled to the ground.
I wasn’t even offended that they had yet to acknowledge my presence. Seeing the three of them together was enough for me, for now. We all had an attachment to Greer. Even my parents hugged her and expressed their happiness at her return. My father offered me a nod as he hugged her tight. He was telling me that I’d done the right thing by going after her. And I knew he was right. Letting her go wasn’t an option.
Chapter 34
Greer
“What’s this?” Darren asked as he leaned against the counter at my side. He’d been working extra late in his office tonight in an attempt to catch up after his week away. The girls were in the living room, completely engrossed in a movie.
“It’s dinner,” I said as I continued to slice the onions and garlic and toss them into the pan. When I turned back to face him, he’d stepped in behind me. Reaching his arms around me from behind, he took the knife and began to cut the remaining part of the onion in slow, delicate movements. His breaths tickled the back of my neck as he pressed closer until I could feel every inch of him against my backside.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered before skimming his lips over the shell of my ear. “Breathtaking,” he added just before kissing the spot on my neck that makes my knees weak. “And coming home to find you here, in the kitchen, while the girls are so content….” He took a deep breath.
I looked up to see both girls were still completely occupied and unfazed by what we were doing.
“It’s a feeling that I don’t even know how to begin to explain,” he continued, making my stomach flutter with excitement. “A feeling I want every day.”
He hadn’t mentioned me moving in since we talked about it in my former apartment, and I had a feeling he was worried about bringing it up again.
“I have a confession to make,” he whispered, and suddenly the fluttering became a tense knot.
“Should I sit down?” I asked, and he chuckled, his entire body shaking against my own.
“No,” he replied. “Though I may need to get a running start.”
This piqued my curiosity, and I turned to face him. I heard him place the knife on the plate behind me, but he didn’t move back. Instead, he stepped closer, forcing me to lean against the countertop behind me. It was hard to concentrate when specific parts of him were pressing against specific parts of me. Thoughts of attacking him raced through my mind, only I knew I couldn’t act on them. Not with the girls only a few feet away.
“Focus, Angel,” he cooed, knowing full well what he’d made me think about. When he placed his hands over mine and crossed my arms behind my back, obviously to pin them, I arched a brow at him and he chuckled.
“I’ve never pissed you off before,” he said with a smirk. “You’re tiny, yes, but something tells me you’re fierce too.”
“The fact you feel you need to restrain me before your confession is doing nothing to calm my nerves.” I was trying to be playful, but my stomach was twisting and my heart racing.
He leaned in and kissed me softly. “Before we left Missouri, I tipped the driver two hundred bucks to deliver all your things here instead,” he said in a rush, then closed his eyes tight as if bracing himself for a verbal bashing. I think he was even holding his breath.
When I burst out laughing, his eyes shot open and he let out a gust of air.
Yep, he was definitely holding his breath.
“Why are you freaking out over this?” I asked, still smiling wide.
He opened his mouth to speak only to shut it before the words came out. I had never seen him look so dumbfounded before.
I tried to work my hands loose from his hold. He held on tightly at first, then ever so slowly he released them. I placed them against his chest and slid them upward to rest on either side of his neck. He continued to watch me closely, still not speaking a word.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
A look of confusion covered his strong features, and I giggled lightly. This man was utterly adorable at times.
“I was worried the offer had passed,” I continued, and the look on his face changed from confusion to understanding. He weaved his hand around the back of my neck and pulled my closer. I thought for a moment he planned to kiss me, but instead he rested his forehead against mine.
“That was not a one-time offer, baby, that was me stating that one day, you and I would live under the same roof. That day is now.” He leaned in and kissed me softly. “I love you,” he whispered.
Little hands squeezed my leg, surprising me. I looked down to see Violet hugging it.
“I love you too,” she said happily, and instantly I teared up. Hearing her say that in her sweet little Disney Princess voice melted my heart.
“I love you too, sweetheart.” I combed my fingers through her hair and held her close.
Soon Vivian joined us, and I was overwhelmed with such a sense of belonging that my throat felt tight.
“What do you girls think about Greer moving in with us?” Darren asked, surprising me.
Before I could say a word, they began bouncing around excitedly, screaming yes over and over.
And in that moment the decision was made.
I was moving in.
We would be a family.
They were my family.
***
Darren lifted my leg higher and hooked it securely over his hip as he continued to move forward. His movements were slow and tantalizing, and he gently swayed his hips before pulling back ever so slightly and repeating the motion. It was such an exhilarating rush of lust and love wrapped up in a sensual package.
Darren was making love to me, pouring everything he felt into each touch and kiss. I had never felt so alive. My body was completely in tune with his, every nerve screaming in pleasure.
“You’re my forever,” he whispered against my neck as he slid inside me ever so slowly. “My today, my tomorrow.”
His words only heightened the connection I was already feeling.
“I want it all with you,” he confessed. “No holding back. I want to give you everything.”
Tears pricked my eyes, and I squeezed them shut tightly as my lower lip trembled.
I wanted it all too.
“Build a life with me, Greer,” he added as he pushed his hips forward, going deeper. “Let me love you every day and cherish you each night.”
