“But you don’t want to go to the police?”
“There’s no law against making someone feel uncomfortable,” I mumbled. I wiped at my eyes some more. I was still crying.
He leaned back against the seat and banged his head a few times. Maybe that made him feel better. I wasn’t sure what would work for me in this situation, but I was pretty sure that wouldn’t do much. I needed something much stronger than that to take away my pain.
“Is tonight the first time it’s happened?”
I shook my head. He wasn’t even the first one that had been like that to me. I knew better than to think that the first time was my fault, but I had stopped to wonder more than once if John treated me like that because of something I’d said or done. I didn’t think I had, but maybe I did, and maybe it was all my fault. I sometimes thought I was just blowing everything out of proportion too. After all, he never really did anything to me. I wasn’t okay with it, but maybe I was the one who was messed up and not him. Maybe that’s how guys were supposed to treat the son of the woman they were dating and I didn’t know any better so I was the one flipping out.
“I think I might have overreacted.”
Eli got back on the road, and I was sure that he was going to take me right home, but instead we were still going west, heading into the mountains where he lived with Grayson.
“Bullshit,” Eli snarled. He drummed his fingers over the steering wheel while I went quiet. “You’ll stay with us for a bit. Then I’ll figure out how to help you get your own place. Or you can sleep on the couch at the rescue like I did when Evaline first found me and brought me there. Whatever. We’ll make it work. And then, when John isn’t there, you and I will go get your stuff. Does your mom know any of this at all?”
“No. She wouldn’t believe me.”
I caught Eli watching me out of the corner of his eye. “You said that she wouldn’t believe you, not that she wouldn’t understand. Did this happen before and you tried telling her but she thought you were lying?”
I needed to be far more careful about what I said around him. “It wasn’t a big deal.” Only it really was, and I hadn’t told anyone but my mom about it. I wasn’t about to start with Eli either.
“Not a big deal like what John’s doing with you right now isn’t a big deal, or not a big deal like you don’t want to talk about it but we’re going to anyway not a big deal?”
I sighed and ran my hands over my face. “The second. It was worse with him.”
“Another boyfriend of your mom’s?” Eli tried to guess.
I shook my head. “Uncle. It stopped when he moved but….”
Eli was scowling now. “Why didn’t you ever tell me any of this? I could have done something to help you.”
I hadn’t wanted anyone to know. I still didn’t really want him knowing, but I couldn’t do anything about that now anyway. “I’m sorry.”
He reached over and took my hand. “I don’t want you to be sorry. I just want you to tell me when things aren’t right for you from now on. Okay?”
I nodded. I could try to do that at least.
We got to his house about half an hour later. “Grayson is in Austin right now,” Eli explained when he let me into the empty house. “He’ll be back in two days. How much can I tell him about what’s going on with you so that he has some explanation about why you’re suddenly crashing here?”
“Anything you want,” I said with a shrug. I knew better than to expect Eli to keep something from Grayson, even if the secrets he was sharing were technically mine. And he’d never tell anyone at the rescue what was going on. Eli was good with secrets. I wish I’d told him what was going on at some point, but it was too late to change that now.
“Sit. I’ll get you something to eat.”
I did as he told me, and it was kind of a relief to have someone else know what was going on. Eli spoke quickly on the phone, probably to Grayson, and that was fine too. I trusted Eli, and he trusted Grayson. I took off my shoes and curled up on the couch and wished that I could just ignore this day, and every other one that John had made me feel uncomfortable in, and just go back to being normal somehow. That didn’t seem like too much to ask for at all.
Eli came back a few minutes later with a bowl of ice cream for me. “So, happier things, you said that Oliver is a photographer and you posed for him. Anything you can show me?”
I took out my phone, went to his site, then handed it over to Eli to look through. “These couples pictures are adorable. Maybe he can take some of Grayson and me.” He kept looking and I started eating. It was good to be somewhere that I knew I was safe. “Some of these seminude ones are really hot.”
I blushed deeply and kept eating, hoping he wouldn’t notice.
“Especially the ones of you.”
I took the phone from his hand and stared at the picture, expecting to see one showing my face, but instead it was just a chest that could have been mine and jeans that were probably the ones that I had on right now, but really there was no way to be sure of anything.
“That’s not me. At least I don’t think it is.”
Eli rolled his eyes. “You have a birthmark on your ribs. It’s tiny, but I know it’s there. You have the same birthmark in this picture. Didn’t you notice that?”
I looked at the photo again. I really hadn’t, and the little dark spot on my side was barely half an inch and hardly noticeable. I was surprised Eli remembered it actually. I generally forgot all about it.
“Can I really stay here tonight? You sure it’s okay?”
Eli handed the phone back to me. “It’s definitely okay. Don’t even worry about that. Grayson is mad on your behalf too, but he’s not murderous like I am just yet. For now, relax, eat your ice cream, and hang out with me. I’ve got an old mummy movie recorded that we could watch together tonight if you wanted to.”
“Okay.” It was so good to be normal with him again. I needed that so much right then.
Chapter Six
Oliver
I WAITED almost a week to message him, but I’d thought about Mason the whole time, even to the point that Chester had teased me about it. Hey, I simply texted him.
Hi. Did you want me to come back again for something?
I did, but I wanted to make sure that we were good first. Only if you’re comfortable with it.
I am. And stuff changed so I can do dinner now too if you wanted.
I wondered what could have changed that dramatically in a week and hoped he hadn’t lost his job or anything like that, but I didn’t feel like we were close enough for me to ask him that. How about tonight? I could pick you up.
I’m living at the rescue now. I might be a bit too far for you to drive right now.
I didn’t mind driving down there at all. Maybe I could even get a few pictures of the horses in before we went to dinner, but it did bother me that he was suddenly apparently living at the rescue. Did something happen at home?
It’s a long story. But things are good now.
I didn’t really believe him, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe things were really okay for him now that he was living at the rescue. I couldn’t wrap my brain around it, so I stopped trying. Is six okay?
Sure. I’ll meet you out front.
Great. See you then. I had a few hours to get ready and a shoot with a couple between now and then anyway, so there was definitely plenty to do to keep myself occupied until I’d be seeing him again tonight. I also wanted to make sure to pick out a place for us to go so that I wasn’t just showing up expecting him to have a plan about where he wanted to eat.
I GOT to the rescue half an hour early. I had planned to be there sooner, but I hit some traffic coming out of Denver and going into Parker. Even on the outskirts of Denver where I lived, there was still a good bit of traffic at times, though not often enough to give me any real headaches about it.
There were only a few cars in the parking lot and very few people walking around when I pulled up. I assumed that nearly everyone had gone home for
the day. There was a guy getting some gloves out of his trunk beside me, so I figured I’d ask him where Mason was.
“Hey,” I said as I got out of my car. “I’m looking for Mason.”
He took a long time studying me as he frowned. “Yeah. I can take you to him. Are you Oliver?”
“I am.”
“I’m Eli. Mason’s friend.”
That almost explained the look he was giving me. I assumed he didn’t like me because I was older than Mason. “Look I—”
Eli didn’t even let me start. “Are you going to fuck with my friend’s heart, or what’s going on here?”
Hearts hadn’t even come into the equation for me. He was just a cute guy I wanted to go out to dinner with, and here Eli was treating me like I was dating Mason and like I was about to go hurt him somehow.
“I’m really not sure what you’ve been told, but Mason and I are just friends.”
Eli didn’t look convinced at all. “Sure. You’re just a friend who just happened to take pictures of him with his shirt off and his pants unbuttoned. Yeah. Right. Sure. Whatever. Seriously, just don’t hurt him. He’s the sweetest, most innocent, most adorable—”
“Eli!”
I smirked as Eli pursed his lips and we both turned to find Mason staring at us. “I can handle myself,” he protested.
Eli looked desperate to say something, but he glanced at me and then apparently decided not to. I was actually kind of curious to hear what he’d end up saying to that. “Hey,” I called to Mason.
“Hi.” He continued to glare at Eli. “I’ve got this. Go do office stuff.”
“I’m your boss, not the other way around,” Eli grumbled. He started heading toward one of the barns. “I need a phone call tonight after your date. I’m serious. And don’t do anything stupid.”
Mason waved him off, then came up to me. “Sorry about him. Eli’s a bit overprotective of me. You’re here early. Was there no traffic?”
“There was some, but I wanted to come get a few pictures of the horses. Maybe of you with them.”
Mason blushed and played with the hem of his shirt like he was nervous. “There are still a lot of people here right now. Could we do that after dinner maybe? Then no one would be here and I could really show you around.”
That was a fair compromise. I nodded. “Sure.” I couldn’t wait to get him alone here, or as alone as I could possibly make us. I wanted to get some shots of him with the horses, especially when he already had dirt smudged over his fingers and he looked like he’d been working all day. “I’ve got cash to pay you for those shots too. We’ll talk about what I’m thinking at dinner and we can see what you might be interested in.” I wanted him shirtless at the very least. I wanted him naked if I could get him that way again.
“Maybe we could work something out.” He looked away from me, and I wondered what he had in mind.
“Does Middle Eastern work for you? There’s a place in Aurora that I really like. It’s about half an hour away, so it’s not bad at all.”
Mason nodded, and we got into my car. A few minutes later, he was stretched out on the seat beside me, looking completely relaxed with his eyes half-open.
“Did something happen to make you live at the rescue?” I hadn’t wanted to ask him, but I was growing more curious about his circumstances by the second.
He shrugged. “I had a fight with my mom’s boyfriend. I tried living with Eli and his boyfriend for a while, but I felt kind of like I was intruding there. They told me I wasn’t, but I couldn’t help feeling like I was. So I decided to crash on the couch at the rescue for a week or two. I’ve found a new place, and I’m accepted as long as I can come up with the cash up front. I’m only three hundred short of my goal anyway, so it’s not a big deal. The rental market here is crazy, though.”
I was sure that it was. Chester complained about it often enough too. “Three hundred is all you need to get you off a couch and moving into your own place?”
He nodded without looking at me.
“What if I loaned it to you?” I offered.
“I don’t like owing people money, or anything else really, but could I work it off? If you needed that many pictures or something?”
We could probably make that work. “We’ll figure it out over dinner. It shouldn’t be a problem.” There were plenty of projects that I had going on and exhibits I wanted to be part of that I could use pictures of him for. He was easy to photograph, and he was pretty enough without being ridiculously good-looking that I could make him work for nearly everything. I was excited about it, and then I remembered that Chester had wanted pictures of him too. “My friend who does more erotic work would probably want to photograph you too if you were interested. He pays a lot. Do you need his card again?”
“I still have it in my wallet. I just don’t think I’m ready for that kind of thing. Not yet at least. Maybe never. I’ve barely kissed anyone, and I feel really out of my depth here. But it’s like, when we’re together, you ask me to do a certain kind of picture or something and it doesn’t feel like a big deal. Like I’m able to relax around you for the most part. As long as you’re not touching me, things seem to be okay.”
I was glad he felt like that, but I wish I could have done more to relax him. “I like taking pictures of you, so whenever you’re interested, definitely let me know and we’ll plan something.”
“You’re not bored of shooting me or something?”
I laughed quietly. “Not at all. There’s so much more that I want to do to you.”
He blushed and I let that hang between us.
We got to the restaurant quickly with little traffic to get in our way since I’d avoided every highway possible. I’d been stuck on the way down. I didn’t want to deal with it going north too. Aurora was smaller than Denver, and it felt far more like a suburb than a big city, which I liked. I couldn’t ever live in the country. I liked the convenience of having everything around me too much for that. And I liked that I could ride my bike to nearly everything I would want to do.
I got us to the restaurant, and I was glad to see him smile at the menu when we sat down. “I don’t recognize most of this, but I at least know what chicken kabobs are. I’ll have some of them.”
“Good. I think I’ll have the lamb ones.” That had been easy enough.
I got a text, and I decided to check it just in case it was important. It really wasn’t, though, just Chester sending me a picture of himself and Phillip standing in some line to get in to a see a new movie. I hadn’t wanted to go, and they looked like they were having a great date together.
I hadn’t thought that Mason was looking over at my phone, but when I glanced up at him, I caught him watching me. “Are those your friends?”
I could have easily lied and just said that yes, they were, but I’d kissed him, and I wanted to do more than that with him too. When he was ready. If he would ever get there. I didn’t want there to be this big lie between us when I wanted to spend time with him as much as I did.
“Yes, and no. They’re both my friends, but this one”—I pointed to Chester—“is also my boyfriend. That’s Chester, the guy whose card I gave you. The one that has been begging me to convince you to be under his lens. And the guy next to him is Phillip. That’s Chester’s boyfriend. He’s also a friend of mine.”
I could see how very lost Mason was by how he was staring at me. “We’re in an open relationship,” I explained. That didn’t seem to register with him anymore, though. “I’m dating him, but he can date other people, and so can I. We’re not exclusive.”
Mason swallowed hard and leaned back. He suddenly wasn’t looking at me anymore. He was tense, and he didn’t seem happy about that at all. “Mason?” I reached for him and took his hand, but he pulled it out of my grip.
The server came to take our orders, and I wished that Mason would have spoken to me. Or, hell, anybody really. But he didn’t. He just pointed to the menu on the kabobs that he wanted, and when the server went away
, he sighed loudly and put his head in his hands.
“I let you kiss me,” he finally mumbled.
I reached over to take his hand. This time he didn’t pull away from me. “I know you did.”
“I thought you were single.”
I hadn’t meant to lie to him, but maybe I had. I didn’t think I had betrayed him, but by how he was acting, maybe that was exactly what he was feeling. “I’m sorry.”
He nodded and pulled his hands away from his face. With his hands no longer up to hide him from me, I could see tear tracks on his cheeks. I definitely hadn’t meant to make him cry.
“Mason.” I shook my head. “I’m sorry.”
He gave me a weak smile. “Don’t worry about it. You didn’t even say that you wanted to be with me anyway. Just two guys that have kissed. Right? Not a big deal. Doesn’t have to be at least.”
Except that I could see past his bluster and his bravado to the hurting man he was trying to hide away from me. I reached out and rubbed his shoulder. He leaned into my touch, and I wrapped my arm around his shoulders. I kissed him on the side of his head and kept him close. A few people were watching us, but I didn’t care. I needed him to be okay, and I needed the things between us to be okay too. They had to be.
Being in an open relationship had never been such a big deal to me before. A few of the guys I’d gone after hadn’t wanted to share, and that had been the end of it. They’d been easy to meet, easy to screw, and even easier to discard as soon as they decided they couldn’t handle being with someone who was with someone else. They were all simple, easy hookups. It had been so long since I’d been around someone as innocent and sweet as Mason was. I’d forgotten what that was like. I kissed him again.
Our food came, and he leaned away from me. He didn’t look bothered by the space like I did. He didn’t look like he would have rather been at my house eating this meal with me alone on my bed with only the blankets over us, if even that. That’s what I wanted from him, and as he quietly ate his dinner, he looked like he was a million miles away from that idea.
Safe and Sound Page 5
