Rock Star: Music & Lyrics Book 1

by Emma Lea

  “What am I?” Nate asked. “Chopped liver?”

  Vanessa patted his hand, “Now, now, Nate, don’t go gettin’ your knickers in a twist. There’s enough female adoration to go around.”

  “He doesn’t need any more,” Jace said. “His head is big enough as it is. Come on, time to go play some songs.”

  The sisters got up from the table and followed Jace to the stage where Stevie was waiting for them. She avoided his eye and he knew by the stubborn set of her mouth that he had done something to piss her off. The whole secret relationship thing was a crock. He didn’t want to have to hide that they were sleeping together, he wanted everyone to know that she belonged to him.

  But did she? Was she really his or was he just a check mark on her bucket list?

  Fuck.

  He shook his head. This was insane. They needed to talk. They needed to sort this out so that they were on the same page. He knew what he wanted, now he just had to hope that she felt the same.

  The set went great, but Stevie just wasn’t feeling it. Nobody noticed, well, nobody in the audience noticed that she wasn’t performing up to her usual standard, but the rest of the band did and they bailed her up as soon as they’d cleared the stage and made it to the green room backstage.

  “What the hell, Stevie?” Jace asked.

  “I just wasn’t feeling it tonight,” she said, not able to look him in the face.

  “Does it have anything to do with the frown that was on Nate’s face earlier?” Nadine asked.

  “Or the way the senator was staring at you like a starving man at a buffet?” Vanessa added.

  “This is why interpersonal relationships in bands are a bad thing,” Jace said.

  “Interpersonal relationships? Seriously Jace? They’re sleeping together not meeting to negotiate world peace,” Nadine said.

  “Look, I was just a bit off tonight, that’s all. I’m tired—”

  “And we can guess at the reasons you’re so tired,” Vanessa said with a wink.

  “Right, that’s my limit, I’m going out to the bar to get a drink.”

  Jace left the room, slamming the door behind him.

  “Are you screwing them both?” Nadine asked.

  “What! No, of course not. I haven’t seen Carson in months—”

  “Mm-hm,” Vanessa said, crossing her arms and sticking her hip out. “So why was he here tonight and why did Nate look like he wanted to string him up by his toenails?”

  “It’s nothing,” Stevie said, slipping her guitar into its case. “He was in town and someone told him we were playing—”

  “He couldn’t take his eyes off you all night,” Nadine said. “Are you sure that’s all it was?”

  “He may have said he made a mistake letting me go—” Stevie dropped to a chair and hid her face in her hands, “and then Nate went all caveman. God, when did things get so complicated? We were just supposed to be having some fun together, it was never meant to get serious.”

  “Is that all you want?” Vanessa asked pulling up a chair to sit beside her. “Just something casual?”

  “There’s just so much going on in our lives right now,” she said. “I don’t have the time or energy to put into a relationship. We leave on tour soon and what is that going to look like? How can I possibly be involved with someone while we spend three months traveling all over the country?”

  “Are you sure Nate wants more? Maybe he was just marking his territory like a dog.” Vanessa rubbed her back soothingly.

  “You see, that pisses me off too. I’m not some prize in a pissing contest. The two of them have competed over girls since senior year. That is not something I want to get in the middle of.”

  “But you don’t want Carson back, do you?” Nadine asked.

  “No…I don’t know. Geez. I love Carson, but I’m not in love with him. But then does that even matter? I know we’d have a good life together—”

  “But you wouldn’t be able to tour and Court’n Jacks wouldn’t happen.” Nadine and Vanessa shared a look.

  “No, he said he was wrong to ask me to give it up.”

  “What does that mean?” Vanessa asked. “Does that mean he wants you back regardless of you being in the band?”

  “I don’t know,” Stevie said with a shrug.

  “What about Nate?” Nadine asked. “You two have been practically inseparable.”

  “Yeah, in the bedroom. But we never go out together and he isn’t offering me anything.”

  “But that was your idea wasn’t it?” Vanessa asked. “To keep it a secret?”

  Stevie exhaled. “Yeah, it was.”

  “Come on,” Nadine said, “we’re not going to solve this problem by sitting in here talking about it. We need alcohol and possibly ice-cream.”

  Vanessa pulled the door open and Nate was standing there, his hand raised to knock.

  “Hey,” he said, his eyes on her.

  “Hey,” she replied.

  Vanessa and Nadine left the room and Nate walked in, closing it behind him.

  “I’m sorry about before—”

  “I’m sorry for storming—”

  They both spoke at the same time before stopping and smiling at each other. There was an awkwardness between them that had never been there before and Stevie didn’t like it.

  “You go first,” Nate said.

  “I’m sorry for storming off,” she said.

  “And I’m sorry for being an asshole,” he said. “It’s just that he—”

  “See, that’s the problem,” Stevie said, jumping in, “I don’t know if you were jealous because of Carson or because of me?”

  He took a step forward and pulled her into his arms. She went willingly, needing the security of being wrapped up in him.

  “Stevie,” he said, softly, “I know you had a relationship with him in the past and that kills me, but tonight? That was all you, baby. Seeing him sitting with you? Seeing any guy sitting with you? It drives me insane. I want people to know we’re together, I want the world to know.”

  The world? God, did she want that? They would be followed by paparazzi wherever they went and there would be all sorts of speculations in the media about whether they were splitting up or if he was cheating on her or if she was pregnant. Did she want to go through that? Just thinking about it was exhausting and she had so much on her plate as it was.

  But if they didn’t take it to the next level, where did that leave them?

  “Soon,” she said, resting her forehead against his chest. “There’s just so much to do before the tour that I don’t think I could cope with the media storm that would unleash on us if we went public right now.”

  He sighed and placed a kiss on her head. “Okay,” he said, “but I reserve the right to be jealous if I see another guy making moves on you.”

  She snaked her arms around his waist and squeezed. “Same goes for you, buddy,” she said lifting her head.

  He dropped his lips to hers in a tender kiss and the uncertainty that had been plaguing her melted away.

  Chapter Twenty

  “What’s this urgent meeting all about Mabel?” Nate asked as he opened the door to admit his PR manager into his apartment.

  She walked through the door, Wade on her heals.

  “Come and sit down,” she said, leading them over to his large dining table and dumping her monstrosity of a briefcase on the tabletop, spilling documents across the surface.

  Nate sat down and picked up one of the escaped papers, glancing at it, “What’s this?” He held the piece of paper aloft, the Rocksteady logo displayed clearly across the top.

  Wade took a seat and shared a look with Mabel before clearing his throat. “There are rumors that you are preparing to jump ship as soon as your album is released.”

  “It’s not a rumor,” Nate said. “I’m moving to Derek’s label.”

  Mabel nodded. “We know, but there are still rumors which means we have been inundated with offers.”

  Nate sat up st
raighter. “What?”

  “The scuttlebutt is that your next album is going to redefine you as an artist and there are people out there who are keen to get a piece of that.”

  “But I already gave my answer to Derek.”

  “I know,” Mabel said, “which I wish you hadn’t done without talking to us first.”

  “It wouldn’t have made any difference,” he said. “I like Derek and we work well together. I liked his pitch and his vision for his label.”

  “That’s all well and good,” Wade said, “and we like Derek too, it's just, some of these offers—” he paused to shake his head. “They’re pretty insane.”

  “I don’t understand,” Nate said looking at the stacks of documents that Mabel was pulling out of her briefcase. “My last album tanked, who could possibly be interested in resurrecting my career?”

  “There were quite a few record execs at your gig last night. They heard your new single, the duet with Stevie, and they have been bombarding me with offers ever since. Even Rocksteady wants to offer you another deal.”

  Nate snorted. No way was he going to re-sign with Rocksteady after the shit contract they’d held him to these past five years.

  “Now, don’t be too dismissive,” Mabel said. “It’s actually not a bad deal.”

  He stood and paced over to the window, looking down on the city and running a hand through his hair.

  “I want to stick with Derek,” he said. “We make good music together and I like the thought of being on the ground floor of something new and exciting. I like Derek’s vision.”

  “Does this have anything to do with the fact that Court’n Jacks are also signed with him?” Mabel asked.

  Nate spun around to face her. “No, yes, maybe.” He exhaled. “I like working with them, I like singing with Stevie. I want to work with them more, but it’s not the only reason. I really am excited about what Derek is offering me.”

  Mabel stared at him across the table, searching his face, before nodding. “Okay, if that’s what you want—”

  “It is,” he said.

  “Okay, but can I at least leave these here for you to have a look at. Just read through the offers, you don’t have to accept any of them. But it would be a good exercise for you to do, just to see what else is out there.”

  “Fine,” he said. “Is that all?”

  “No,” she said, “I want to confirm the dates of your appearances with Court’n Jacks and I’ve booked you for a festival.”

  “Another festival?” he asked, slumping into his chair. “I was playing arenas eighteen months ago.”

  “Half full arenas,” Wade said, “that cost you more than you made.”

  “Right,” Nate said, “don’t remind me.”

  “You need these festivals,” Mabel went on. “We’ve been through this before. These are the grassroots of your fan base. You need to win these guys over and you need to get some of your new stuff out there.”

  He huffed out a breath and looked down at the table. He felt like he was having to start right back at the beginning again. He was already playing bars and cafes, now he had to do festivals? He was a goddamned rock star, not some newbie trying to break into the big times.

  “Nate,” Mabel said. The woman could practically read his mind. “You have to think about this strategically. I know in your mind it feels like going backwards, but you burned a lot of fans and you have to do something to win them back. If we were to book a tour for you right now, you wouldn’t be able to fill one stadium, let alone ten of them.”

  “But look at these,” he said, indicating the stacks of offers. “They want me.”

  “Record companies are a lot more forgiving than disgruntled fans,” Wade said.

  “You broke their trust,” Mabel added. “It’s going to take a big effort on your part to show them that they can trust you again.”

  “Fine,” he said, feeling like a petulant child.

  “Good,” Mabel said, pulling out a spreadsheet. “Here is the schedule of appearances.”

  The rest of the meeting was a blur to Nate. He thought that he had been making inroads with his fans, but by Mabel’s estimation, he’d barely scraped the surface. It had all seemed so easy five years ago when the fans had flocked to him. He could do no wrong. But two failed albums and they’d lost interest in him. Now he had to spend the next twelve months making it right. Would he ever get back on top? Right now it seemed almost like an impossible dream.

  The meeting with Wade and Mabel had put him off kilter. He knew that he was going to have to work hard to win his fans back, but it all seemed too hard. The first time around all he’d had to do was show up, smile and take his shirt off and the fans came running. Now he had to actually work to win them.

  Maybe signing with Derek wasn’t the best thing for him.

  It was a traitorous thought, but what did a fledgling label have to offer him? They wouldn’t have the budget that someone like Rocksteady had and he’d have to invest some of his own money to promote himself. Another label would take care of all that for him and he could take a back seat and watch his career take off once again.

  Except that was what had gotten him into trouble in the first place.

  Signing with Derek was all about re-inventing himself and taking control of his career. He couldn’t bail on that just because it was going to be hard work.

  But taking control of his own career also meant doing his due diligence and that meant reading through the other offers on the table. How could he make an informed choice if he didn’t know what else was out there?

  He poured himself a drink, picked up a contract and sat down in one of the overstuffed armchairs in his living room to read.

  Three drinks and five contracts later he was impressed. It appeared that he was once again a hot commodity and some of the promises made in the offers were over the top. None of them had convinced him to walk away from Derek, but a few had tempted him. The money they were offering was insane, but he wasn’t stupid, he read the fine print. The money always came with strings attached and he’d already been burned once before by not reading the clauses.

  He flipped the last one closed and tossed it on the pile with the rest of them when he heard the front door open. Stevie walked in and the heaviness that had been sitting on his chest since his meeting with Mabel and Wade lifted.

  He stood to his feet and met her in the foyer, scooping her up into a hug and planting a kiss on her lips. Just touching her helped to soothe the prickles that had been itching under his skin.

  “That was a nice welcome,” she said when he lifted his head from her lips.

  “I missed you,” he murmured, nuzzling her neck. “Please tell me that you’re here to stay and that you don’t have a gig tonight.”

  “I’m here to stay and I don’t have a gig tonight,” she said and squealed as he tossed her over his shoulder and headed for the bedroom.

  “Put me down!” she cried, pounding on his back, but he didn’t let her down until he reached the bedroom and tossed her on the bed, following her onto the soft mattress.

  He covered her body with his own and captured her lips in a deep kiss, taking his time to explore her mouth. The stress of the day seemed so inconsequential when she was in his arms and he was more than happy to get lost in her and forget everything else.

  “What about dinner?’ she asked when he gave her a chance. “Aren’t you hungry?”

  “I’m hungry,” he growled as he licked and sucked her neck, “just not for food.”

  She tilted her head to give him more access to her neck and he breathed her in, relishing the taste and smell of her. Her hands found the hem of his shirt and pushed it up, her fingers tracing over his back and giving him shivers.

  “I need you naked,” she breathed against his neck, struggling with his shirt.

  He lifted himself from her long enough to pull his shirt over his head and then looked pointedly down at her clothing.

  “Now you,” he said.

&
nbsp; She slowly undid the buttons of her shirt revealing the sweet, soft skin beneath. His eyes devoured her as she parted the fabric and bared the pale blue, lacy demi bra, the plump flesh of her tits spilling over the top. He bent his head and buried his face between the twin mounds, nuzzling her with his nose and dragging his lips across her skin.

  He pulled one of the peaked tips into his mouth, sucking her through the lace, and she arched into him, offering him her breasts and demanding more. She slipped her hands between them to release the front clasp and her beautiful breasts tumbled free. He feasted on them, taking his time to lavish them with his tongue and lips and teeth. He used the scruff on his face to heighten the sensations, brushing it across the sensitive skin. Her fingers threaded through his hair and her legs wrapped around him, grinding her pelvis up into him.

  “Naked,” she breathed, using his hair to lift his head.

  He wriggled down her body, nestling between her thighs so he could undo her jeans. He pulled them down her legs, taking her underwear with them, and then settled in between her thighs once again. She propped herself on her elbows so she could watch and he looked up at her, their eyes colliding as he took a long lick along her slit.

  Her eyes fluttered closed and she collapsed back on the bed as he took his time pleasuring her. He would never get enough of the taste of her and he closed his own eyes as he let himself get lost in it. He sipped and sucked, lavishing her wet folds and suckling her clit until she was writhing beneath him, her hands gripping the comforter. Her back bowed as she came, flooding his mouth, her cries filling his ears.

  Much later, Stevie opened her eyes slowly. The room was dark and Nate snored softly beside her, his arm thrown over her possessively. She took a moment to let her eyes wander over his sleeping form. The room was lit by the ambient light from the city and it was enough that she could make out his features, relaxed in sleep.

  She could no longer deny that what was happening between them was more than a fling, but she wasn’t yet ready to name exactly what it was. Was she in love with him? She refused to answer yes or no. She had loved Nate since she was a teenager, but whether or not it had progressed from a teenage crush to something more real, she wasn’t yet prepared to acknowledge.