by V. K. Ludwig
Underneath the table, her toes wrestled with Kamenji’s, my son so enthralled by this creature. “This was delicious. Thanks so much for having me.”
“Oh, but this is not all.” Mother wiped her hands on a cloth, rose, and hurried to the kitchen. “What would a meal such as this be without mokhoti?”
I sighed. “You’re making a feast of this, ami.”
“What’s that?” Jessica asked.
“Slices of fruits soaked in mokhot.” Wooden bowl clasped between her hands, Mother carried it toward the gathering area. “Kam, would you clear the table?”
My son stacked the dishes without a single objection on his mouth, and carried it all into the kitchen. He even wiped down the table while I gestured Jessica over to the couch, where she sat beside me.
She clasped a strip of nadana between her fingers, something I always found closely resembled mango in taste, and sniffed the pale red strip. “Mokhot is alcohol, I take it?”
I leaned deeper into the couch and nodded. “Similar to red wine, but stronger. Much stronger.”
Dark purple lips devoured it before they curled into yet another smile. It squeezed a drop of mokhot from the fruit that ran down her chin, making my tongue press against my gums, rousing an urge to lap it away. Twice, we’d kissed, and I’d enjoyed how she’d brushed her tongue along my fangs with no fear.
“Good?” I asked.
She nodded. “Delicious.”
Kamenji skipped over to us, and it came as no surprise when he seated himself so closely beside Jessica, he might as well have climbed onto her lap. “Can I try some?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Only lick it?”
“No.”
Across from us, Mother tsked and swatted her hand in my direction. “Katedo, what is the harm of him licking it? Let him. He will not like it anyway.”
When my eyes connected with Jessica’s, she said, “I tried to smoke when I was twelve, almost choked, and haven’t touched it since.”
“Very well.” I lifted my pointer at Kamenji. “One lick. One.”
Jessica took another slice and dangled it before him. He giggled and dragged his tongue over it. Half a second later, his face scrunched up, his nose wrinkled, and he gagged as he choked out a “Gross!”
Mother burst out in laughter.
Jessica hid her giggle behind her palm.
Before I knew it, my chest shook, and my deep chuckle resonated the room — a sensation so strange, it brought awareness to how long it had been since I’d felt this… this…
Happy.
Jessica took the bowl and reached it out to me. “Here.”
“You enjoy it,” I said. “Mokhot is not for me. Dulling your senses when out in the plains is—”
“Dangerous,” Mother said, no… they all said, followed by a wave of giggles that drove a rush of heat into the base of my horns.
Freeraiders, uncontrolled prides of ushtis, solar flares… The plains were full of dangers and my concerns justified, yes, but was I truly this predictable in my worry?
Jessica pressed the edge of the bowl against my chest and cocked her head, letting her lush curls bunch on her shoulder. “You’re not in the plains.”
No, I was not.
I was in Noja with an unmated female in my quarters who made me grin and feel things. Things I hadn’t experienced in so long they interfered with sense and sanity.
Longing, for example.
Longing for someone to hold when the nights grew colder in the plains. For someone to talk to about something other than strategic places to settle the tribe, export embargos, and the staggering costs of spacecraft maintenance.
I took a piece, tongue swiping over the slight burn of what I hadn’t tasted in so long. “Thank you.”
“Can you build a tower with me, Jessica?” Kamenji asked and, at her nod, he ran off and returned a moment later with a woven basket that held wooden blocks. “We can build Noja.”
She slipped off the couch, placed the bowl on the table, and angled her legs by her side as she grabbed the first block. “Great idea. Show me all those shortcuts. And while we’re at it, point out your school because I can’t find it to save my life.”
Watching them play together… it tingled me in places I’d long thought shriveled away. They’d only slept, and something about this picture roused them from their dull state of apathy. Jessica was so at ease around Kamenji, never hesitating to include him even though she had no children of her own. Did she want children? Could she have them?
Something moved in my periphery.
Nothing but Mother’s slow nod as she looked at me, letting the monotone tok-tok-tok of blocks stacking do the talking. Tok. Look how happy your son is. Tok. Would she not make a good mate? Tok. You know you want her.
Yes, I wanted her.
I’d known that since the moment my nostrils first caught a whiff of her scent. But could I deserve her? Could I give her what she wanted? Zovazay might seem like a blessing to her, but I’d experienced what a curse it could be.
“Look, Jessica.” With one swift move, Kamenji swiped a block from a tower without making it collapse.
“Wow! I couldn’t do that.”
Kamenji giggled. “Because you have no tail.”
“No?” When she glanced at her behind and widened her eyes, he laughed even harder. “Guess it fell off.”
I about choked on my spit.
Kamenji stiffened: smile, laughs, giggles slipping off his face all at once. “Really?”
That wrenched a snort from Mother, who pressed a hand to her chest as if she needed it to keep breathing. “Katedo keeps telling him that his tail will fall off if he eats too much chocolate, just like it happened to the people on Earth.”
Kamenji frowned up at Jessica. “Is it true?”
Her gaze found mine, and a silent exchange played out between us as amusement tugged on her lips. “Just make sure to check your tail from time to time,” she said to Kamenji, joining me in a parenting lie that perhaps wasn’t politically correct, but damn efficient. “If it wiggles or feels a bit loose, go easy on the chocolate for a while. Okay?”
He nodded quickly. “Okay.”
“Someone will be very tired next sun,” Mother said when Kamenji rubbed his eyes. “Good thing there will be no school, so you can sleep in.”
It had gotten rather late, and even Jessica yawned before she said, “Getting started in the mornings would be a lot easier with a cup of joe, for sure.”
“She means coffee,” I clarified for Mother. “A brewed beverage that stimulates the senses.”
“Not enough to classify it as a drug, I’m telling you.” Jessica snorted, keeping my gaze as she blindly grabbed blocks and helped Kamenji return them to the basket. “You know what the merchant told me when I asked for it? If I approach him about it again, he will report it to the Warlord for punishment.”
A grin sneaked onto my lips, shifting muscles that almost ached with how much I’d demanded of them this night. “Jal’zar are shy around strange things from alien planets.”
“You’re not shy when it comes to stripping down.” Her pupils flicked to my cheek, to the most gruesome of my scars, as if she’d just made a mental correction that I was more apprehensive in front of her.
It itched right then, reminding me that I wasn’t ashamed of my scars and the way they looked, but their meaning. What was I supposed to do with this woman? The idea of giving in to the way she called to my senses terrified me. I didn’t deserve a third chance and, if I failed at protecting my female again…
I’d lived through war, battles, catastrophes, and hardships. I couldn’t live through another broken soulbond; something Jessica longed for very much. But loyalty, commitment, care? I could give those things easily, along with complete devotion.
Maybe I wanted to.
Would it be enough for her?
Kamenji pushed the basket underneath the table, his head so heavy his horns tilted sideways. “Can Jessica
read to me?”
Of course she said, “Sure.”
With a nod, I rose and walked into his room to get the swipescreen. I changed the language setting to cosmic and flicked through the collection of tales from Earth. By the time I returned, Kam sat with his face pressed against Jessica’s shoulder, his legs draped over her lap. Asleep.
She shrugged carefully as not to wake him, and my son appeared so… small in her arms. “Twenty seconds, and he was out.”
“Do not wake him, or he will be grumpy next sun,” Mother said and hoisted herself out of the chair. “Thank you for the lovely company, Jessica. My bones are tired, so I shall retreat to my quarters.”
While Mother drudged her heavy feet toward the door, I took in Kamenji, and how he’d curled his fingers in Jessica’s hair. “I haven’t seen him like this in a while.”
Jessica gently stroked a black strand from the tip of his nose and tucked it behind his horn. “Like what?”
“Like…” I wasn’t quite certain. “Small and vulnerable?”
Something soft played around her eyes as she once more ensnared me with them. “Maybe because he doesn’t feel the need to prove how strong he is with me.”
My throat tied up.
After his mother’s death, I had to become his place of retreat, where he could cry, and grieve, and be weak. I’d curled myself around him and tried to be strong for the both of us. What if I’d wrapped myself around him so hard I hadn’t noticed how strong he’d grown within my embrace? What if Jessica was right, and he fought me fang and claw in making me see his strength, and I had ignored it to a point I no longer allowed him an option to show weakness?
“Excuse me for a moment.” I caught up with Mother in the entryway. “Let me walk you to your quarters.”
“No, no.” Gleaming up at me, she cupped my cheek, her eyes not as bright anymore as they used to be when Father was alive. “This is where you are supposed to be.”
“You mean where you planned me to be.”
“Same thing.” Spine too bowed from age, she tugged on my cheek until I lowered my forehead against hers in a loving gesture between close kin. “Guilt can never return the losses of our past, Katedo, but it can steal the blessings of our future.”
Parched raw, my throat suddenly itched. “How much did you tell her?”
“Everything.”
Again, no surprise. “What if I fail her?”
“Try, and you might fail,” she said and stepped through the door. “Do not, and you have failed already.”
I tried not to ruminate on her words and returned to the living area. “Let me get him off you,” I said and strolled over to the couch. “He’s heavier than he—”
My steps faltered to a halt, right along with my heart. Jessica had fallen asleep as well, cheek pressed against the base of Kamenji’s horn. One might have thought they made an odd pair, a Jal’zar boy asleep in the arms of a woman.
It was stunning.
I detangled Kamenji’s grip from Jessica’s curls, slowly lifted him up, and carried him into his room. Once lowered into his nabu, I weaved his tail through the gaps, kissed him, then returned to the living area.
“Jessica.” My voice came out as nothing more than a whisper, almost as if I had no intentions of waking her up.
I should have.
It was only right to wake her, thank her for the evening, and ask a guard to accompany her to her quarters. To visit her tomorrow, deliver that much-owed apology and explain why she could do a lot better than this broken male, warlord or not.
I did the wrong thing instead, because it felt fucking right when I picked her up and carried her to the bedroom she’d stayed in the last time. There, I lowered her onto the pod and took her shoes off, then pulled a fur over her so she wouldn’t be cold.
And I stared at her. By Mekara, I stared at her until my eyes burned from exhaustion, listening to every of her deep inhales, and each slow exhale. There was always a short pause after, a moment of complete silence that shadowed my core.
Her next inhale drove it out, and replaced it with brightness.
Twelve
Jessica
Waking up in the warlord’s quarters had come unexpected, but when I stepped out of the corridor and into the living room? That sight stunned me.
Katedo stood in the kitchen, wearing nothing but loose linen pants that rode low on his hips. Inky black, hair I’d never seen unbraided before shifted with his sway, reaching well below his shoulder blades. With precise movements, he shoved stones around on the metal rack, then used a holographic control panel to light several flames.
Was he really… cooking?
This male was unpredictable, both in the most charming and confusing ways. I hadn’t expected him at my door last night. More surprising was how I’d accepted their invitation, but with the way Kam had fluttered his eyes up at me? What woman with ovaries could say no?
When I walked toward the kitchen, Katedo quickly caught my approach, turned, and smiled at me. “Good morning.”
I leaned against the counter. “Morning.”
“You fell asleep, so I carried you to bed,” he said as if it wasn’t odd that I’d spent the night here. “Kamenji is still asleep, and probably will be for a while longer. His sleep has always been deep. Are you hungry?”
“Still full from last night.”
He grabbed a roundish fruit from a wooden bowl, and ran some sort of stone along the peel, revealing green flesh. “A light breakfast then.”
I watched his skillful movements, and how he competently worked on three dishes at once, including strips of meat he placed on the hot stones. “You seem to know your way around a kitchen.”
A lopsided smirk tugged on his lips, and his dark blue eyes flicked to mine for a second. “And you sound surprised.”
“It’s an odd picture, seeing you in something other than your black uniform. A warlord in his kitchen, chopping fruits and sprinkling salt over meat.”
“Even a warlord has to eat.”
“But I’m sure a warlord doesn’t have to cook his own meals.”
“No, he doesn’t, but I always keep the people attending to me at a minimum. It’s how I prefer it.” Fruit abandoned on a wooden cutting board, he raked a hand through his hair, letting the muscles on his glorious body shift as he faced me. “Out there, I lead and protect my tribe the way I was trained to do since birth. Out there, I’m warlord. But in here?” He placed his palm onto his chest and tapped. “Nothing but a male who gets easily annoyed if he doesn’t have breakfast, sometimes to Sevja’s displeasure.”
I sensed a smile on my lips. “Same here if I don’t have my coffee.”
“Ah!” He lifted a finger up between us before he turned toward a black machine in the corner, opened the compartment, and retrieved a clay mug.
“You’re not serious…” I took the mug, the warmth it sent into my fingers second only to the earthy aroma that wafted around my nose. “You have coffee and never bothered to mention it?”
He winked. “Don’t tell the warlord.”
“What a hypocrite you are,” I teased before I allowed myself a sip, moaning loudly enough Katedo lifted a brow at the sound. “I might just become a regular at your breakfast table.”
It was meant as a joke, but his voice was serious when he said, “I’d like that.” His eyes slipped to my lips, lingering there for one breath, two, until he blinked himself out of the moment. “Kamenji gets excited when we have a guest.”
Guest.
That word bittered the coffee on my tongue. Was that what I was once more? A guest? Would he entertain me with his kisses and the feel of his hard cock between my legs, then show me to the door before I overstayed my welcome? Why bother bringing me here at all?
But to be fair, he’d at least served me coffee, so I stepped up to the peeled fruit. “Want me to cut this up or something?”
“Please.” His tailclaw stabbed into the meat before he turned it onto the other side under sizzles and pops
, then killed the flames. “Small pieces would be perfect. Use the tahrul beside it.”
Tahrul was probably the flat stone he’d used to peel it, its surface soft and smooth in my grip, with one concave and one convex side. But no matter which one I used, it was like cutting rock when I tried to half the fruit in the middle.
“Like this.” Warmth seeped into my spine when Katedo stepped up behind me, and put his hands atop mine. “Always cut kakashu seeds lengthwise.” Placing my one hand to hold the fruit, he took the other and turned our wrists before we let the tahrul glide through the flesh. “Feel how easy it goes like this?”
My fingertips pulsed in time to every rapid whomp of my heart. “I knew there was a trick to it.”
“Some things can’t be forced.” Another slice with the tool. “They need patience and a gentle hand.”
Hyperaware of his exhales against my temple, I let him guide my hand as desire pooled between my legs. “How do we chop pieces?”
“We break the fibers.” By pressing the flat side of the tool down on it. “There we go.”
Chop.
I shivered when his thumb circled my knuckle, the tremble in his hands slight but it was there, and it robbed me of breath.
Chop.
His erection pressed against my backside, and he answered my surprised gasp with a groan that vibrated along my spine.
Chop.
I arched my back, teasing a low growl from him as we ground against each other, my pussy slick with need.
He brushed the pad of his thumb over my hand and up along the inside of my arm, his touch so different from the ones we’d shared before. However rough and domineering he’d been during my heat, now he was nothing but gentle. It clenched my insides, ached me, unfurled a new ripple of longing at this softer side of him. I started counting the seconds until he would push me away again.
One.
