Damaged and the Outlaw

by Bijou Hunter

  “Outlaw turned sweetie pie,” I said when he returned.

  Vaughn proceeded to give me a look that would lead to sex in any other situation.

  During the ride from the hospital to Vaughn’s apartment, I was thinking sex. No matter what he said about how I was his, I worried he found me less appealing. The swelling was gone around most of my face, but I had two black eyes, a healing nose, and a missing tooth. When I glanced in the mirror, I didn’t look like me. Feeling insecure, I needed to know Vaughn still wanted me.

  Limping with a broken leg, I needed crutches to go more than a few steps. Plus, I was weak from the pain drugs. My normal tough body was suddenly vulnerable and I was afraid to be away from Vaughn for more than a few minutes.

  While I was in the hospital, Bailey dropped off my clothes and a few other belongings including Fair Bear at Vaughn’s apartment. We arrived home after three days in the hospital. As soon as we were in the apartment, Vaughn helped me into bed then sat on the edge. When I looked at him, he seemed a little lost.

  “Can I sleep naked?” I asked. “My skin feels better without the clothes scratching against it.”

  Saying nothing, Vaughn helped me undress. His blue eyes studied me lying on the bed, but showed no arousal. Instead of passion, he watched me like a hurt child. I sensed he was confused about how to behave.

  Reaching for a little confidence, I asked, “Do you want to get naked too? That way, I won’t feel so underdressed.”

  Vaughn finally smiled then yanked off his shirt, followed by the rest of his clothes. Crawling into bed next to me, he feared touching me. The bruises reminded him of his failures. Or maybe they made me too ugly to desire. We were both so insecure. Even afraid of his rejection, I needed to be brave for both of us.

  Using my good hand, I ran my fingers over his chest, teasing the thick hair and wolf tattoo. Vaughn exhaled in an exhausted way.

  “I missed you,” I whispered.

  Vaughn’s lips found mine immediately. Tenderly, he kissed me as his hand caressed my breast.

  “I’m afraid to hurt you,” he admitted after a lingering kiss.

  “Just be gentle. No caveman sex for a while.”

  Vaughn stared into my eyes then finally said the words. “I’m sorry.”

  “You saved me. I knew you’d come and you did. Now, we’re free to start our lives together.”

  “I should have warned you.”

  Shaking my head, I cupped his face. “If I’d stayed in the house, he would have been waiting for us when you got home. It’s just as likely that we’d both be dead instead of him. There are millions maybes that don’t matter. What does matter is he’s dead and you saved me.”

  “You saved me too, baby cakes.”

  “I’m proud of how brave I was. I didn’t want to die, but I wanted to save you more. I wanted to protect my friends and Lark. When I was a kid sometimes I would freeze in those situations and get so mad at myself afterwards. That day with Caleb, I didn’t freeze.”

  “I find bravery very sexy,” he said, stroking my nipple. “Do you find my showing up nearly too late sexy?”

  “Not really. I find you shutting up and fucking me sexy though. You being tough on yourself is actually a turn off.”

  Grinning, he kissed each of my cheeks then brushed his lips against mine.

  “I’m going to be so gentle, but make you come so hard. It’s going to be like magic.”

  Running my fingers through his hair, I sighed as his lips grazed my tender skin. Vaughn kept his word too. He was unbearably gentle and I did come hard repeatedly. It was just a relief to have him in my arms and know he desired me.

  The next few weeks as my bruised ribs healed, we learned to play in gentle ways. While caveman sex would have to wait until I was completely healed, every moment together gave us the reassurance we needed. Our fears from that ugly day faded. Soon, they were no more than bad memories from another life.

  My vanity prevented me from spending too much time with people until my tooth was fixed. Once I could look into the mirror and see Raven instead of the swollen stranger, I agreed to join our friends for dinner at Cooper and Farah’s house.

  On the drive over, we passed a few houses on sale in the still rather new neighborhood. They were all fancy compared to those I grew up in and any would be an improvement over Vaughn’s “temporary” living situation. One house though spoke to me.

  Vaughn stopped the car in the front of the house like he did whenever we spotted a “For Sale” sign. Leaning over me to check out the house, his expression broke my heart. He wasn’t a twenty six year old man looking for houses, but a boy searching for a home like he never had growing up.

  “It’s my favorite so far,” I said, stroking his face.

  Vaughn glanced at me and grinned like a stud. “If it’s half as nice on the inside, I think we might have a winner.”

  We both studied the yellow house on the tree lined street. Unlike the surrounding houses, it wasn’t covered in brick. The style felt more farmhouse than suburban oasis. Two stories and big, the house was new, yet looked lived in. A family called it home for now. They were leaving, but I imagined our family inside. A good sized Oak tree in the front yard might be strong enough one day to hold a tire swing.

  “My kids are going to love this house,” Vaughn whispered, leaning back into his seat. “We’ll call the realtor on Monday. I’ll carry you up the stairs if I have to, but I want to see that house.”

  “The schools are good in this area. Farah told me that once. We want our kids to go to good schools.”

  Grinning, Vaughn started driving. “Big yard too. I can throw the ball around with the kids in a yard like that. Take them to the park we saw driving in.”

  “Will you throw the ball around with the girls too?”

  “Fuck yeah. My girls need to know how to throw and catch a spiral.”

  When Vaughn winked at me, the last part of my uncertainties died. We were finally free and beginning a new life.

  Vaughn parked his truck on the street in front of Cooper’s big house. I made quick work of the walk up the drive with crutches, but the front steps on their deck were tricky. As Vaughn picked me up, Cooper opened the door and frowned.

  “Working my glutes,” Vaughn said, causing me to laugh.

  At the barbecue, everyone treated me with kid gloves until Harlow and Winona arrived. While the blonde smiled easily and her bruises were healed, her adopted sister mostly hid behind her hair while avoided talking to anyone. With someone else to pity, I was in the clear.

  Harlow got her break from the sympathy train when Dylan arrived. Lark babied him a lot while Aaron just frowned. Was Dylan a member of the family or a former suitor? For me, he was family. Like an annoying cousin I enjoyed in small doses. Sitting at a table, I mocked his Mohawk while he told people I got injections to make my lips so big. Sweeter than sweet Lark ordered us to be nice then proceeded to claim we both wet the beds growing up. Yes, Dylan was definitely family.

  Bailey braided my hair then Lark’s. My sister ended up with a few braids sticking straight out. Farah received the double braid effect. Tawny decided to avoid her turn by chasing Sawyer in the yard while the dogs chased them both. Watching his woman play tag, Judd smiled in a way I rarely saw from the grumpy guy. Clearly, the new medicine and finally moving into their place had calmed Tawny.

  By the time Vaughn had his hair braided, I was in stitches. Harlow laughed too and I even noticed Winona smiling under hair. My man stood up with his double braids and flexed a few muscles.

  “I’m manly enough for any hairstyle.”

  Even as the guys gave him shit for this statement, the girls all agreed my man was buff enough for braids. Vaughn just winked at me then decided he would go maternal by holding Scarlet. Like any girl, the baby enjoyed his attention.

  “I’m glad you’re here,” Lark whispered in my ear.”

  “Me too. I missed everyone.”

  Bailey finally gave up coaxing Tawny to get bra
ids. Flopping into a chair, she sighed loudly. When no one noticed, she sighed again even louder. I decided to baby her a little while my man played Uncle. Wobbling over to Bailey, I caressed her hair.

  “One or two braids?” I asked.

  Bailey leaned back and smiled at me like I was the best person in the world. “Two please.”

  Cooper and Tucker frowned at their sister’s manners. I just shared her smile and worked on her hair. When I had trouble with my casted arm, Lark stood next to me and helped.

  Surrounded by family and friends, I was blessed. Like an idiot, I ran away from home with big plans. Like any idiot, I crashed and burned.

  Returning to Ellsberg, I lowered my expectations on what my future would offer. Instead of giving me the bare minimum, life blessed me with a sister in love, new friends, and the man of my dreams. I literally never fantasized of a life as amazing as the one before me.

  As if feeling the same way, Vaughn held Scarlet and grinned at me. No longer the outlaw, he finally had a family, home, and future.

  Epilogue – Vaughn

  By our seventh anniversary, we had five kids and weren’t done yet. Raven was blessed with easy pregnancies and could run around until the moment of delivery. Oh, and did those deliveries become legend.

  When River was born, the whole crew was laughing their asses off in the waiting room because of Raven’s profanity-laced rants. Our twins came two years later. During their deliveries, a drinking game started with the crew and club guys. Every time Raven screamed a cuss word, Tucker told the guys at the bar and they’d take a shot of whiskey. Half of the guys were wasted by the time Savannah was born. As Avery joined her sister, the other half of the bar was just as drunk off their asses.

  The obstetrician nearly begged Raven to use pain meds. She refused of course. No one was telling her what to do.

  For Maverick’s birth, the hospital moved Raven to a room at the end of the hall and kept the other laboring mothers as far away as possible. Another change the third time around was how Raven refused to allow the club guys free fun based on her laboring pains. To play the drinking game, they had to donate a hundred dollars into the kids’ college fun. We figured at least one of our kids would want to do the education thing.

  The guys donated the money and got ready for Raven to let loose. In her laboring room, she even allowed a mic connected to overhead speakers at the bar. Despite knowing they were all listening, my woman didn’t disappoint. One particular favorite was motherfucking crustacean cunt. When Maverick’s head crowded, she also sounded a little bit like a graboid from Tremors. Hell, I think she did that on purpose because we’d watched the movie the night before. Raven was a born entertainer.

  That night, we added a few thousand dollars to the kids’ college fund, the guys had a blast getting wasted to Raven’s profanity, and I welcomed my second son. Unlike his angelic brother, Maverick peed on me an hour after birth. I knew that boy was going to be a handful.

  Despite the chaos, our family had a solid routine. Weekends were spent at the cabin where we enjoyed the quiet. A few times a week, Raven and Lark trained at Big Bob’s. My kids and I cawed for mommy during games. Once a week, we dropped by Cooper’s new house to add to his chaos.

  At least twice a week, we lived at the bowling alley. All the kids loved the game and River was quite talented like his pop. Our youngest Nevaeh even enjoyed bowling before she was born. Every time we were at the alley, the baby would kick the hell out of Raven. My woman responded by eating nachos. While I never understood the plan behind dosing our unborn kid with cheese, who was I to question her tactics?

  No matter how wild we got at home, our kids always behaved in public. Raven figured no one would expect good manners from her offspring and she wanted to prove the wrong. Even after years together, Raven was still the beautiful stubborn woman I married.

  Our big yellow dream house was filled with laughter and wild times. One of my favorite activities was hosing down the kids and Raven on the trampoline. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if we made so many kids because I kept wetting her down like that.

  No longer an outlaw, I had my family, club, and friends. Ellsberg was my home and I never intended to leave. Raven was more than I could have wished for in a woman and my kids kept me honest. No more lies.

  Life was pretty perfect. All because a sexy chick broke her abstinence pledge to enjoy a night of fun. One hot roll in bed blossomed into love, marriage, and quite a few baby carriages. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  Epilogue – Raven

  Even after all these years, I still kept Fair Bear on my dresser as a reminder of the night Vaughn first said he loved me. While I’d freaked out, he never gave up on us. My man might have a dirty job, I was in a constant state of baby-making, and chicks drooled whenever he walked into a room, but Vaughn was only mine.

  We still enjoyed the fair every summer and we weren’t the only ones. Walking with our towheaded brood, I spotted Judd and Tawny with their little ones. They had decided, boy or girl, they were done with two, so Heidi would be their last child.

  The dark hair beauty was the spitting image of her mother except for sharing her daddy’s blue eyes. Unlike her mellow brother, Heidi was a giggle machine and loved to pull Vaughn’s finger.

  We waved at Tawny who smiled from the Ferris wheel with Judd and Gunnar. Down below, Heidi watched with Zaria. Next to me, Vaughn flipped off Judd who reciprocated. It was good to see the guys still bonding. Our twins flipped off Judd too until River said it wasn’t polite.

  “We’ve raised classy kids,” Vaughn said, giving me a wink.

  Rolling my eyes, I walked with Nevaeh in a baby carrier strapped to the front of me. The little hellraiser gnawed on a corndog she would never eat with her two puny teeth. She just wanted to be like her siblings who were all chowing down gross fair food. Like her daddy, Nevaeh wanted to belong.

  At a game stand, we fired water into clown mouths and attempted to fill balloons in the hopes of winning an elusive prize. I helped Nevaeh fire our gun while Maverick shot from his father’s shoulders. Savannah was the only one who managed to inflate a balloon. She gave her prize to Avery who smirked as if she’d suckered her sister.

  Vaughn sighed dramatically and I noticed Sawyer running around with her friends. Wearing face paint and barely there shorts, the teenager was stuck between childhood and womanhood.

  “Our girls will never wear those shorts,” Vaughn said then laughed. “The best way to make that happen is to order them to wear the shorts. Like mother, like daughters.”

  Sawyer’s smile faded when Cooper spotted her shorts. Brother and sister had a face-off which Cooper clearly won because Sawyer ran in the opposite direction. After Farah high-fived Cooper, he received a few cheers from his girls. Little Colton was more interested in the blue cotton candy he was holding. Based on his expression, he just didn’t get it.

  Though Scarlet explained to her baby cousin the marvels of cotton candy, Colton wasn’t impressed and pawned off the atrocity to his mom. Taking his sisters’ hands, he ran after Scarlet who darted towards Judd and Tawny. Nearby goofing off at a game, Tucker and Maddy took turns rubbing her baby bump.

  By the time we sat down for dinner at the picnic tables, I was on a sugar high from the crappy sodas. Next to me, Vaughn and River were fake arm wrestling. On the other side of the table, Maverick stared fascinated at Sawyer’s face paint and eventually tried eating it. Soon, Lark and Aaron arrived with face painted Phoebe and Leo, along with their new baby Oliver. Maverick took advantage of the new people to lick. My boy would eat anything.

  My sister leaned her head against my shoulder and smiled at our family. Earlier, we’d seen Mom with Larry, but ignored them. Only once had Margo tried to meet her grandkids. Without giving it a second thought, I blew her off. I was well aware of what she thought of my husband and our life. She knew what I thought of her husband and her life too. With no reason to pretend, I walked away with my family and never looked back.


  As the kids played and ate deep-fried foods, Vaughn leaned over and sucked at my neck. He also gave me a naughty smile before returning to being silly with his kids.

  Growing up, Vaughn had no one except his mom. All those years, he only wanted to belong and find his place. He tried first with the Devils then the Reapers, yet he was always the outsider. These days, he was no longer an outlaw. This incredible man finally belonged.

  People had called him Outlaw, but for me he was the cure. His love ended the sickness plaguing me since I was old enough to dream of romance. No more chasing bad men with the hope that I might change them. With Vaughn, I loved everything he offered and never wanted it to end.

  About Bijou

  Living in Indiana with her three stinky sons, two wacky cats, one super mom (and her ugly dog), Bijou loves writing, blogging, and Denny’s. Follow Bijou:

  Her blog: http://bijouhunterbooks.blogspot.com/

  Facebook: www.facebook.com/BijouHunterBooks

  Twitter: https://twitter.com/BijouBooks

  Email: BijouHunterBooks@gmail.com

  ***Bijou Hunter is the pseudonym of author Angela Horn.