by Amy Lillard
Sadie pushed herself off the seat and headed over to the ball return. Sitting there had sounded like a fine idea. These days it was hard to do much of anything, except for wonder how Ezra was doing and if he’d had any new babies born on his ranch. She missed him something terrible. But she had done what she needed to do. She’d done what she could to save her family.
“Are you sure your arm is okay?” The second-degree burn had required quite a lot of treatment, but for the most part she could do anything she wanted. They told her it would scar and she might consider a skin graft. The Amish didn’t go in for things like that. If it was fine without it, surgery would not be the answer.
She nodded and picked up the familiar blue-swirled ball with the letters “HAM” on it. Her whole life she had thought that was due to her father’s love of pork; little did she know that it was his initials—Henry Adam Mathis. How would she have known? He had been a Kauffman the whole time she had known him, and as far as she was concerned, he still was.
She tossed the ball down the lane, but it was a little too far to the right. Luckily she missed a seven/ten split and took out the back row of pins. Not a great score, but at least she stood a chance of picking up the spare.
Chris sidled up next to her. “We don’t have to be here if you’re tired.”
“I’m fine,” she said.
“Are you going to lie to me the whole time we’re married?” His quiet words made Sadie’s stomach hurt. Was that how he viewed her? Had she lied?
She truly did love Chris. She loved him as a person and as a friend. What was romantic love when you could have steady, strong, and true? Her best friend at her side for the rest of her life?
That zing and tingle that the romance authors talked about, that could fizzle away so easily. No, this was much, much better. Not even taking into account the fact that she had made her pledge to God, and He had granted her request. Even that aside, this was so much better. She had steady and true for the rest of her life. She wouldn’t be shunned, she could live with her family, and Chris would take over his family’s farm.
“But you are his second choice,” some voice inside her whispered. She pushed it down, ignored it, and grabbed her ball from the return.
Chris stood, hands on hips, watching her.
She turned around. “I’m fine.” But was she?
She closed her eyes and concentrated on the lanes, picturing them in her head before she opened her eyes again and hit the sweet spot dead-on. The rest of the pins came tumbling down.
“Whoo!” Hannah said from her spot as the scorekeeper. “That puts us above, gentlemen. I hope you enjoy losing tonight.” She gave Hannah a high five as the boys shook their heads. They’d only gone two pins ahead of the guys and anything could still happen.
It was Thursday, their usual bowling night. Tomorrow was Good Friday. Saturday was the Easter egg hunt for the buddy bunch. Or rather, Saturday night was.
Sadie was looking forward to it. She needed some normalcy back in her life. The restaurant was still being repaired. Mamm spent all her days there salvaging what she could of the paperwork.
Zach Calhoun had come down to help Mamm sort through stuff and help move it all out to the storage shed they had rented in town. Anything salvageable went there, but more often than not Sadie had a feeling things were going into the Dumpster out back.
“Sadie?” Jonah asked. “Would you like to bring Daniel out to the farm Saturday morning? We are hosting an Easter egg hunt in the cornfield.”
Sadie smiled. “We would love that. I take it it’s before we have our Easter egg hunt?”
Jonah nodded. “That’s the plan. All the little brothers and sisters are coming over in the morning. Once they have their fun, we’ll send them back to our parents and then we’ll have our turn.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
Sadie remembered that he’d had Sarah Yoder out at the pond with him that day a few weeks ago. Somehow hanging out with Sarah didn’t make him nearly as happy as hanging out with Lorie had.
“I’ll be there,” she said.
“Good.” Jonah rapped his knuckles against the Formica desk and started to walk away. He stopped and turned back. “By the way, bring a small gift for that night. We’re going to put numbers on everybody’s donation and then numbers inside these special eggs. If you find one of them, you get the corresponding prize.”
“I’ll do it.”
“It’s a five-dollar limit. This is about having fun.”
Sadie nodded. “Will do.”
* * *
“You’re going with me to the Easter egg hunt Saturday night, right?” Chris asked as they chugged home on his tractor.
“Of course,” Sadie said. Who else would she go to the Easter egg hunt with? They were getting married, after all. But she didn’t say any of those things. As much as they crossed her mind, they were mean, and with the way she had treated Chris this winter, she could see his confusion.
“Are you ever going to tell me what happened?”
Sadie frowned. “Happened when?”
Chris shrugged but didn’t take his eyes from the road. He kept on driving. “That night of the fire.”
Sadie shook her head, mentally scrambling around to find an answer. “Nothing happened. I just realized that . . .”
“That what?” Chris asked.
“It’s complicated,” Sadie said, hoping he would drop the matter. Thankfully he didn’t say anything else as they continued on to her house.
He pulled into the driveway. Sadie was reminded of all the times that she made Ezra stop at the road. Ezra had not been approved, but everyone was happy that she was marrying Chris. If only she was as happy as they were.
“You want to come in for a bit?” Sadie always asked. It was one of those things they did on a date. She asked him inside and he told her no because he had a lot of work to do on the farm the next day.
“Jah. I would like that.”
Sadie blinked at him, then recovered. “Okay then.”
Chris shut off the engine and climbed down from the cab. Sadie jumped to the ground and together they walked into the house.
It was a typical Thursday night in the Kauffman household. Cora Ann and Mamm were reading the Bible, their heads close together as they studied the word. Daniel had long since been put to bed.
Sadie missed those days when everyone was here. When they all sat around together and read the Bible and enjoyed each other’s company. But Lorie had left and Melanie had gotten married. She was next. And she wondered how Cora Ann would feel being the last girl left in the house.
“Chris Flaud,” Mamm said, sticking one finger into the Bible to hold her place while she rose to her feet. “I didn’t expect to see you tonight.” She actually smiled.
This was making everyone so happy. Sadie had to keep telling herself that, keep remembering that and everything that was at stake. This was for Daniel. And no matter what, he was worth it.
“I just wanted to say hello,” Chris said. But he shifted from one foot to the other, and Sadie had a feeling there was more than hello on his mind.
“How about some pie?” Cora Ann said. She jumped to her feet and started toward the kitchen. She skidded to a halt before she got to the door and turned around with an apologetic grimace on her face. “Oops. There is no pie. How about some cake? No, wait. Daniel ate the last of the cake. I’ve got a couple of biscuits left.”
Sadie laughed. Her sister the hostess.
Chris chuckled along with her. “I’m really not that hungry. We had pizza at the bowling alley.”
“Coffee?” Mamm asked.
“That’d be good. Thanks.” Chris smiled at each of them in turn.
Mamm sat back down and Cora Ann started into the kitchen to make coffee. Sadie led Chris to the living room, where they sat opposite each other.
“How’s Johnny?” Mamm asked.
Sadie hated the clouds of sadness that dulled Chris’s eyes. Johnny’s accident had been hard on all t
he Flauds, none more so than Johnny, of course, but Sadie had a feeling that Chris was the one suffering the most after his brother. He had to give up his dream of going to Europe. He’d given his money to his family to help pay the medical bills, and never once had she heard him complain.
She was ashamed. She had been nothing but a grump about the changes she’d had to make, and all because she had made her promise to God. But God had saved Daniel, and she wouldn’t take that back for anything. Not anything in the world. But she needed to get her attitude right. She needed to get her mind straight. She only did what she had to do, and that’s all there was to it. She should be more like Chris. She shouldn’t fuss and complain. She had more than most. And she needed to keep that in mind.
* * *
Chris resisted the urge to stand and help Cora Ann as she brought the tray into the living room.
She set the tray on the coffee table and smiled, quite pleased with herself as she pointed to it. “I found some cookies. They’re store-bought, though. I think we bought them for Daniel’s school, but never took them.”
Daniel went to an Englisch school with different rules than the Amish. All treats had to be store-bought. Personally, Chris thought store-bought cookies were about the worst thing anyone could ever eat, but he smiled politely at Cora Ann. “Thank you.”
Cora Ann gave a quick nod and left them alone in the living room. Not that they were truly alone. The table was on the other side of the large open room. Anything he said to Sadie could be easily overheard.
And he had things to say. He had watched her this last week or so. She was so sad, so miserable. He didn’t think it had anything to do with the large burn on her arm or any of the resulting pain. No, this was something much deeper.
He picked up his coffee and took a sip. He could pretend to like the cookies, and the coffee was excellent as always, but Cora Ann? She would make someone a really good wife someday.
“I get the feeling there’s something you want to talk to me about,” Sadie said.
They had known each other too long to play games now. He supposed she knew him better than anyone else in the world. Maybe even better than his own mother.
“It can keep.” He didn’t want to talk about it now, not when her sister and her mother might overhear. This was serious. Big stuff. And he wanted to make sure that when they started talking about it, the time was right. She needed to be ready to talk and ready to admit that she was still in love with Ezra Hein.
He got his opportunity fifteen minutes later when her mamm sent Cora Ann upstairs to brush her teeth. Maddie held her place in the Bible with a crocheted bookmark, then left the Good Book on the table.
She came over and stood in front of them, looking from one of them to the other. “I’ve got to go to bed now. Four o’clock comes mighty early. I trust that you will see Chris out?” Maddie asked Sadie.
Sadie nodded. “Of course.”
“Good.” Maddie gave him one last curt nod, then headed for the stairs herself.
He waited until her footsteps had faded out of earshot before turning back to Sadie. “Can I talk to you about something?”
Sadie stopped chewing the horrible store-bought cookie and almost choked. “What do you need to talk about?”
“I think you know.”
Her eyes grew wide, and she shook her head as if somehow that would erase the harm that had been done.
“I want to talk about the Mennonite.”
Sadie shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about him.”
“Aren’t you in love with him?”
Sadie shook her head. “How can I be in love with him? I haven’t known him but a couple of months.”
Chris had been saying those very same words to himself, but once he met Ezra Hein and saw the Mennonite and his Sadie together, everything changed forever.
“Sadie, I’ve known you my whole life, and I’ve loved you almost as long. But why do I get the feeling that you’re not telling me the truth about this?”
Sadie shrugged, but didn’t meet his gaze. “I have no control over what you think, Chris.” Not at all what he expected. What happened to the Sadie who wanted nothing more than to get married and have babies with him for the rest of her days in Wells Landing? She was getting her dream, but yet she didn’t look very happy about it at all. He’d put his dream on hold.
That wasn’t even true. He had killed his dream dead, as surely as he had chopped it into pieces.
It wasn’t meant to be. He wasn’t supposed to go to Europe. He was supposed to stay here and marry Sadie. So why did she look like she had received some kind of death sentence instead of a marriage proposal?
He finished up his coffee and set his cup back on the tray. He stood and stretched his legs, trying to find some reason to stay, looking for any reason to leave. Somehow the air in the Kauffman household had turned cold.
“Walk me to the door?” he asked.
Sadie nodded. Together they walked out onto the porch.
It was almost April, and it wouldn’t be long until everything turned green and the fields required more attention than ever. He would be in baptism classes, trying to juggle life with a girlfriend and having an invalid for a brother. No one still knew if Johnny would ever regain full use of his arms. For now he could do a few things, lift them and such, but he had no strength and couldn’t hold anything in his grasp. Someone had to feed him. Someone had to stay with him. There was always someone at Chris’s house taking care of Johnny.
“I guess I’ll see you Saturday at the egg hunt?”
Sadie nodded.
“Good night, then.” Chris wanted to lean in and steal a kiss. Somehow he felt like he needed to kiss Sadie. He needed to see her feelings for him, see if he could taste her love for him.
He swooped in quickly, using the one hand to lift her chin as his lips sought hers. The kiss was brief, chaste, and told him all he needed to know.
“Good night, Sadie Kauffman.”
* * *
Friday afternoon Chris had just finished up his chores when he heard the car engine.
Just in time, he thought as Luke Lambright pulled into the driveway.
Chris jogged over to where Luke was sitting in that shiny convertible car. Chris wasn’t knowledgeable about the names of Englisch cars, but this one was a beauty. Sleek lines and shiny red paint. Even better, the top came down. If he were to go Englisch, this would be the kind of car he would want to drive.
But you’re not going Englisch. You’re not even going to Europe. You’re here on this farm, and that’s where you will remain. He stuffed that voice down. He’d made his decision, he’d made his choice, and he would see it through. All but one thing.
“Are you ready to go?” Luke asked.
Chris nodded. “Jah, let me tell Mamm I’m leaving.”
He loped up the porch steps two at a time and shouted from the front door to his mother that he was leaving.
She came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dish towel. Chris thought back to a time not too long ago when he’d seen her do the same thing. But this time her face was more pinched, more lined with worry and concern for his brother. “Be careful now, will you?” she said.
Chris nodded. “We won’t be gone long. A couple hours at the most, then I’ll be back. Okay?”
His mother nodded.
“After that I’ll feed Johnny and read to him.” He smiled reassuringly at her.
Tonight he would take care of Johnny, and his mother would have a well-deserved night off. She looked like she was dead on her feet, ready to collapse under the slightest weight of anything else.
He tripped back down the steps and let himself into the passenger side of Luke’s shiny car.
“Tell me again why you need to go to Taylor Creek?”
* * *
Ezra pulled his four-wheeler around the side of the barn and parked it in the shade. In a minute he would pull it on inside, but for now it was fine where it was.
He’d g
one out and rode the fences, making sure that everything on the north half of his pasture was in good shape. He had some more stock coming tomorrow. He had gotten a great deal on some bison out of Montana. But he’d had to promise that half the offspring would go back to Montana to help replenish the national park there. That was one of the most rewarding parts of his job. He provided organic, healthy meats, but he also gave back to the world these beautiful creatures that mankind had almost killed out.
From the driveway came the glint of sunshine off a windshield. Then he heard the car turn down his drive and head closer.
It wasn’t Logan, for sure, he thought. The car was driving much too slow for that. He stood where he was, his eyes shielded against the sun as he waited for the car to come into view. When it did, it was not exactly what he expected. It was shiny and fancy. Nothing like he’d ever seen. At least not on his land.
He thought back to the last fancy car that pulled up his drive and the news that Brenda had brought to him about his father. All at once he wanted to run toward the car and frantically wave his arms until whoever it was got off his land. He didn’t want whatever it was they came to tell him. Instead he took a deep breath, tried to settle his nerves, and waited for the car to stop.
Two men got out, one Amish, with his hat pulled down a little over his face. He looked vaguely familiar, but Ezra couldn’t place him. He was too far away for him to notice much more of his appearance. The other guy was Englisch, with dark hair, a little long, jeans, and a T-shirt. He carried a cane in one hand and walked with a pronounced limp.
Ezra started across the yard, meeting the two visitors halfway.
“Can I help you?” All sorts of people came out for all sorts of meats and things from his ranch. But something in his gut told him this had nothing to do with business.
“Ezra Hein?”
That’s when Ezra realized: The Amish man was none other than Chris Flaud, Sadie’s ex-boyfriend.
Fiancé, the voice inside him corrected. She had told Ezra the last time she had seen him that she was staying Amish and marrying Chris. The razor blades that had slashed at his heart then started up again, tearing him to shreds. One day soon, he prayed that he wouldn’t have to endure pain from merely thinking her name. But he had fallen hard and fast for Sadie Kauffman, and she had only used him. Then left him in the dust.
