Almost a Family

by Roxanne Rustand

  She opened the screen door for the dog and then followed her inside, shutting the door behind them. “Connor?”

  Maisie headed for a soft rug by the fireplace and flopped down, her head on her front paws.

  “Connor, are you here?” Erin checked the kitchen, then the family room, where she dropped her purse on an end table. She hesitated at the bottom of the stairs. Only the old dog’s nonchalance gave her the courage to continue on up.

  Connor was still a young guy of thirty-five, but visions of early heart attack or stroke raced through her mind as she reached the top landing and considered the three doorways along the open gallery that overlooked the living room below. Or diabetes—could he be diabetic, and in trouble?

  The door at the end was ajar, and a dim apron of light spilled out onto the pine flooring of the hall. She headed that way and pushed the door open wider with her fingertips. “Hello?”

  The room was dark, though light from the master bath picked out the highlights of the massive bed and dresser, and reflected in the windows that formed most of one wall. She didn’t see him until she took a step inside.

  “Connor?” She fumbled for a switch along the wall by the door and flicked it on.

  Light blazed from an ornate crystal fixture hanging in the middle of the room, momentarily blinding her. Pine log walls rose a good twenty feet to the top of a steeply pitched ceiling set with a trio of skylights. Wildlife prints and an antique quilt hung on the walls.

  But it was the beauty of the man sitting in a corner that nearly took her breath away.

  “Not exactly dressed for town, are we,” she said, masking her awkwardness with a smile. “Are you okay?”

  “I will be.” He tipped his head toward an unopened bottle of bourbon on the lace-draped table at his side. “In time.”

  She swallowed hard. Okay was certainly a relative term.

  He appeared to be dressed only in a towel knotted at his narrow waist. His long, muscular legs were stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankle; his hands folded loosely on his lap. Above the towel, his flat belly and broad chest flared out to even broader shoulders.

  He looked powerful. Intensely masculine, with that dark swath of chest hair narrowing to a thin ribbon that disappeared beneath the towel. His lean jaw was still shadowed with stubble. He was two hundred pounds of sheer sensual promise, but it was the bleak look in his eyes that touched her.

  “I see you didn’t get very far,” she murmured, fighting an urge to grab the bottle and dump the contents down the bathroom sink. “Can I assume that our date is off?”

  He tipped his head back against the chair and closed his eyes. “I don’t think I’d be very good company tonight.”

  “I tried calling you,” she ventured, as she scanned the room for clues. The receiver was off the phone on the bedside table, but the room was immaculate. “The line was busy every time.”

  He rolled his head against the back of the chair to give her a heavy-lidded glance. “Guess I forgot to hang it up.”

  “Right. So what’s up?” When he didn’t answer, she sat on the edge of the bed near him and waited. “You know, sometimes it works better to talk things out.”

  He apparently didn’t agree, because he just leaned his head back again and closed his eyes. “I think you should go. Maybe…another time.”

  “Drew does this, too—he tries to tune me out. I discovered something interesting, though. The longer I wait, the more likely it is that he’ll finally break down and talk to me. And you know what? He always seems to feel a lot better after he does. Just a thought,” she added after a long pause. “Not that you have to, or anything.”

  Five long minutes ticked by before he spoke.

  “Imagine your life…stretching out before you. A career where you truly make a difference. A wife you love. A baby you’ve longed for.”

  “You lost a great deal, Connor.”

  “Imagine…” A muscle in his jaw ticked. “Losing everything.”

  “It’s been nearly two years,” she said gently, when he fell silent. “I can only guess at how hard it’s been. The grieving…and the guilt. But it wasn’t your fault.”

  “Really.” He gave a dry, humorless laugh. “Not everyone would agree.”

  She reached over and took one of his hands in hers. “I’ve seen you with kids over the past few weeks. You’re patient and kind—even with Drew, who isn’t always the easiest child to deal with. You’ve given them time and attention they never experienced until they came to live with me.” She gave his hand an extra squeeze. “You could’ve concentrated on Lily, but you’ve been equally attentive to the boys, and many men wouldn’t have bothered. In short, you are—as Drew says—one very cool dude.”

  A corner of his mouth lifted. “Cool?”

  “And Lily thinks you’re…” Erin hesitated, then realized that she didn’t owe Sam anything but the truth. “A lot nicer than Sam ever was.”

  Connor’s gaze zeroed in on hers. “She said that?”

  “Her words exactly.” Erin started to take her hand back, but he held on and began caressing it with his thumb. Ignoring the warmth of his touch, she met his eyes squarely. “And I can’t think of another man who would’ve handled the news about his unknown child as well as you have—without demands, and with only her best interests at heart. If you’re ever feeling down, remember that the four of us think you are a very special guy.”

  Silence lengthened between them, his eyes still intent on hers, his thumb still rubbing against her hand in lazy circles that no longer seemed like just a friendly, comforting gesture, but something promising much more.

  She shifted nervously, suddenly entirely too aware of the fact that he was sitting before her in nothing more than a towel. She closed her eyes, trying to block the vivid images that flew into her mind.

  “So,” she said brightly. “We can still make that second feature. What do you think?”

  The air between them changed. Sizzled. She swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry.

  “We can go to that movie if you’d like,” he said quietly.

  She knew he meant it. She could walk out and he would get dressed and take her into town if that’s what she chose, because he was an honorable man.

  But his heated gaze burned into hers, and the undercurrent of sexual tension seemed to explode between them, sending a rush of adrenaline through her veins and erasing all thoughts of leaving this room.

  She hesitated for only a moment. “I imagine we’ve already seen whatever is playing,” she murmured.

  “We could always rent a DVD.” He rose and pulled her to her feet. His warm arms curved around her waist and pulled her close. “Or we could catch the last show.”

  But when he lowered his mouth to hers, nothing else mattered.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  ERIN SAVORED the exquisite pleasure of Connor’s mouth on hers. The sensual slide of his hands on her back. The way he cradled her head with one hand to angle in for a deeper kiss that sent shivers skipping down her spine, and made her feel empty and wanting in her most intimate place.

  But he didn’t rush to the next step as if he had a plane to catch. In wonderment, she felt him hold back, explore, his eyes hot and dark and possessive as he groaned with pleasure at her own rising response. And he talked to her…whispering hot, sexy words in her ear, making her feel as if she were the most desirable woman he’d ever known, until she was nearly engulfed in white-hot desire, wanting more, needing more.

  When he finally drove into her, everything inside her turned to a fire that consumed her, body and soul. “Connor,” she breathed.

  Exquisite pleasure swept her away.

  GRIEF DIDN’T DISSIPATE like morning fog in the heat of a summer sun. It wore away slowly, like granite dissolving over the eons beneath a trickling stream, so gradually, so imperceptibly that it seemed as if nothing would ever change.

  The cruel finality of death offered no second chances. No opportunities to make a different choic
e, to try a little harder. It had offered no chance to ever escape the fact that Stephanie had driven herself over a cliff and taken their child to his death.

  Connor propped his head in his palm to look at the woman nestled against his chest.

  For almost two years, he’d carried that grief in silence, as atonement for what happened. He’d accepted that it was his fault, and that he would never escape the enormity of that fatal crash. Nothing could ever change, because nothing could ever bring Stephanie back.

  But now…the crushing weight of that grief lifted.

  Connor stroked Erin’s silky hair. She’d brought happiness into his life. She’d brought Lily. And what he felt for her he’d never expected to experience again.

  She opened her eyes and stretched languorously, her soft mouth curving into a sleepy smile.

  And then her eyes opened wide with horror and she shot straight up in bed. “Oh, my God—what time is it?”

  “A quarter of midnight.” He reached up and rested a hand against her cheek, then slid it behind her neck and drew her down into a deep and soul-satisfying kiss. “Which means that we need to get you home.”

  A pink blush darkened her cheeks as she felt around on the bed, then stared at the trail of clothes across the room.

  She pulled the top sheet tight against her chest. “I…don’t believe I did this,” she murmured, grabbing for more of the sheet. “I mean, I don’t usually—”

  “I know.”

  “I never…” Her eyes widened with renewed horror. “Did you—I mean—did you have—”

  He nodded toward the torn packets on the bedside table. “Yes, I did.”

  She rolled her eyes heavenward and mumbled what sounded like a prayer of thanks as she jerked the sheet from its moorings at the foot of the bed and wrapped it around her, then retrieved her clothes from the floor en route to the bathroom.

  So much for savoring the moment, he thought dryly, as he rose and found his own clothes. Erin burst out of the bathroom as he was stepping into his shoes. “I’m all set,” she said, averting her eyes as she headed to the door.

  He caught her elbow and brought her back to him, caressing her upper arms as he searched her face. “I’m sorry if this wasn’t what you wanted to do…if I took things too far.”

  “I think it was me who did that. Believe me—” Her blush deepened. “This is the first time since my husband left. I don’t even know how to act afterward anymore….”

  Connor chuckled and drew her into an embrace, savoring the lemony scent of her hair and the sweet warmth of her against his chest. “I want you to know that there’s been no one else for me, either. That this meant a lot to me. And…” he brushed a kiss against her temple “…I never would have made love to you if I didn’t care for you very much. Okay?”

  She nodded. “I feel almost like a high school senior who’s been making out on the front porch, and is afraid her dad will find out. The kids are going to ask about the movie tomorrow. Maybe they’re even still awake, and now I’m going to be late. What kind of example am I setting?” She glanced around the room and caught her reflection in a mirror over the dresser. “And I look like I’ve been in a wrestling match!”

  He laughed and hugged her tighter, then released her and took her hand. “Then let’s go, Cinderella—and get you home by midnight.”

  “Follow me in your truck, and I’ll treat you to the best hot cocoa anywhere.”

  They raced down the stairs and outside, laughing as she lost a shoe and had to stop to retrieve it, and in ten minutes both of them pulled to a halt in front of Erin’s cabin. The lights were on. Four faces peered through the windows as they stepped out of their vehicles.

  “I knew it,” she whispered. “Tell me what that movie was. Quick! No—I’ll just say we decided to have a quiet evening instead.”

  But the moment they came up the porch steps into the light, the door flew open. Haley and the kids tumbled out, all talking at once.

  “I tried to call you,” Haley said. “I tried and tried.”

  “Scout’s gone,” Lily wailed. “We put him out for just a minute, and he was gone!”

  “We heard barking and yowling,” Drew added. He scrubbed furiously at the moisture in his eyes. “But we couldn’t see any sign of him, anywhere!”

  Behind them, Tyler sniffled and backhanded his own tears away.

  “I’m so s-sorry.” Haley’s mouth trembled. “He pulled away as I was trying to snap the chain on his collar. I wouldn’t let the kids run out into the dark after him, and they’ve been so upset with me!”

  “You did the right thing.” Erin opened her arms and welcomed the children into an embrace. “He might turn up tomorrow, safe as can be.” But the look she gave Connor over the tops of their heads was anything but hopeful. I saw the wolf tonight, she mouthed. Here.

  “There’s some messages for you in the kitchen, too,” Haley said. “Some guy called, and he sure wasn’t very friendly. And the hospital phoned twice.”

  Erin’s eyes widened in dismay. “Let’s go on inside, everyone. Everything will work out.” She shepherded them through the door, then turned back to Connor and lowered her voice. “I can’t believe that I was so careless. I left my purse in your living room, and my phone’s in it. Haley probably called while we were…upstairs.”

  “I’ll get it and bring it over.” He dropped a swift kiss on her mouth. “And I’ll bring a flashlight so I can look for Scout, just in case. If anything happened, it’d be better if the kids didn’t find him.”

  CONNOR RETURNED THAT NIGHT with Maisie to search the meadow and surrounding woods for over an hour, then came back at dawn on Saturday and continued looking for any sign of Scout.

  He stayed close by throughout the weekend, enticing the boys into fishing. Playing catch with Lily. He took everyone to a children’s matinee. He did everything he could to cheer the kids up, and for that gift Erin was more than thankful. She’d realized that, despite every intention to the contrary, she was falling in love with him.

  But Scout didn’t turn up, even though they searched through the underbrush surrounding the meadow, and by Monday morning all three kids were completely disheartened as they got ready for school.

  “If Scout was hurt, he probably died by now,” Drew said glumly as Erin pulled to a stop in front of the school. “We’ll never see him again.”

  “Or maybe he ran away,” Tyler added, his head bowed over the backpack he held in his lap.

  Lily sniffled into a tissue. “I bet he’s scared if he ran away. And hungry.”

  “The hardest part now is just not knowing for sure,” Erin said. She reached across the seat and pulled Lily into a hug, then turned to give the boys an encouraging smile. “I think we should imagine that he got lost, and is safe somewhere. Maybe someone else found him, like you did. And right now, he’s eating his dog food and has a warm bed by a fireplace.”

  “Like that could have happened,” Drew snapped. “We heard him yelping, and something else growling. Maybe the wolves got him. Some kids at school say that their parents hate the wolves and wish they were gone. They’re talking about putting out poison or shooting them.”

  “The wolves are protected, Drew.”

  “Yeah? Well, no one would know. And if I found the one that killed Scout, I’d want to shoot it myself!” He jerked the handle of the door and climbed out, then slammed it shut.

  Lily looked up at Erin with sad, wide eyes. “Do you think that’s what happened?”

  “I don’t know. But I’d like to think that Scout got away, and found someone to pick him up and take care of him. I’ll call the newspaper this morning and put in an ad about him. Maybe we’ll get a call.”

  She stepped out of the minivan to help Lily and Tyler with their backpacks, then gave them each a hug. She watched them trudge up the sidewalk and into the school, her heart heavy.

  In her office twenty minutes later, she worked on her latest revision of the budget, and then began calling the people heading up
the canvassing process for signatures that could put the local tax levy on the November ballot.

  They were within a few hundred signatures of succeeding, she discovered with a sigh of satisfaction. If the doctors could come to an agreement tonight regarding which projects to tackle first, the meeting could go very well indeed.

  Success meant job security for the employees and far better care for the patients, and was worth every ounce of effort it took. But the success that meant most of all involved the happiness of her children, and she couldn’t get their sad faces out of her mind.

  “BOARD MEETINGS ARE NEVER this large,” Jill whispered to Erin. “You’ve got the whole community interested.”

  “Hopefully, in a positive way.” Erin glanced over her shoulder at the full chairs and crowd of people standing at the back. “This one is mostly just to share information with the public, and I think there’s even a better turnout than last time.”

  Arnold Olson, who still had a stethoscope slung around his neck, appeared to be involved in a heated discussion with Leland Anderson at the board members’ table up in front. And at the opposite side of the podium, two other officials frowned as a third spoke to them in a voice too low to hear from the audience.

  President Paul Benson called the meeting to order.

  Erin searched the crowd for Connor. He hadn’t attended the meeting earlier in the month, citing his desire to avoid hospital politics, but since then he’d certainly seemed more interested. He’d asked questions and had offered suggestions during some of their late-night conversations…so where was he?

  Leo Crupper was here, though. Sitting right behind her with his all-too-familiar supercilious smile, and his fingernails tap-tap-tapping on a manila folder in his lap.

  The president of the auxiliary gave her report of the signature drive—now less than a hundred names shy of the number needed to place the tax levy on the ballot, but with just four days left before the deadline.

  “You’re on,” Jill whispered as the woman took her seat. “You go get ’em.”