Love Blossoms: 7 Spring-Fresh Christian Romances

by Kimberly Rae Jordan

  He let her hands go and leaned back. She felt the loss of his comforting touch like a child losing her teddy.

  “We’ve known each other eight months, yet you didn’t trust me enough to tell me about your mother. And now you don’t trust me enough to let me do this for you. You’d rather fall down exhausted. Tell me, who do you trust enough to let help you?”

  She dragged in a breath, stood up, and paced around the small room. The movement took the edge off her panic.

  Tell him. Don’t run away.

  The insistent whisper in her mind couldn’t be ignored.

  She sat next to him on the sofa, but sideways, with her back against the arm, and folded herself up small. Her knees pulled up in front of her, her arms wrapped around them, and her head dropped to rest on her knees. This way she didn’t need to look at him, and he couldn’t see her, either.

  Fraser said nothing, just waited. Still, she could feel his gaze on her.

  “I don’t take help from anyone, and I’m not sure I trust anyone, either.” She gave a short bitter laugh. “When Mum first got sick, things were a bit chaotic, so I learned not to rely on her. Then Dad left. He’d had enough, and he hasn’t been back since.”

  Her voice rasped past the tears clogging her throat. She pushed her head down against her arms, forcing herself not to check Fraser’s reaction. Opening up to him with a pity party was the last thing she’d imagined herself doing.

  A gentle hand stroked her hair back from her forehead. “I’m sorry about your dad. But not all men are like that, running away when the going gets tough.”

  “It wasn’t just Dad. My uni friends too, when I had to drop my classes and go distance learning. Then my old church pushed Mum out of everything she’d been involved in.” She snorted. “I can understand why; her behaviour became erratic. A couple of people dropped around casseroles, but no one wanted to know us anymore.”

  His smile twisted. “They were wrong. Give me a chance, Sarah. I’m not the same.”

  Fraser would be the same. He didn’t know what he’d be taking on. No man could care enough to stay by her through what she had to deal with.

  She lifted her head. “You told me you have a disabled brother, but I’ve seen how you are with the kids at school. Focusing on the able kids is easier for you. And ever since we met, I’ve heard your tag line. I’m not simple or uncomplicated.”

  “Maybe I was wrong wanting that. Maybe it’s time for me to grow up.”

  Her lips curled in an attempt at a smile, while her heart shattered in her chest. “You have no idea how complicated things can be. Run now while you have the chance.”

  He loosed a long breath, staring at her steadily. “I’m not running anywhere. If you tell me to go, I will, but I wish you’d let me do this one simple thing for you. What can be wrong with that?”

  How could she tell him—everything? Because if she let him help her, she’d come to depend on him. And then when he discovered the whole truth about her and left, things would be even harder to bear.

  She should stop it now, before either of them got serious.

  She should say those two little words: it’s hereditary.

  Instead, she said, “Okay.”

  *

  Sunlight filtering through the curtains and the smell of fried bacon woke Sarah. She stretched like a cat, luxuriating in the warmth.

  It had to be a dream. She hadn’t woken up to this since she was a child. So she’d roll over and go back to sleep, and enjoy the dream for all it was worth.

  Then she shot upright in bed and saw the clock—8:29. She’d slept through.

  Mum hadn’t woken her. There must be something wrong. And if Mum was trying to cook bacon, any minute now the smoke alarm would be going off….

  She threw on her dressing gown and rushed to her bedroom door. Mum’s voice sounded from the living room. The tension whooshed out of her. Mum was okay.

  Then a male voice rumbled, and Mum giggled.

  Fraser. So she hadn’t dreamed it.

  She hurried down the hall. They sat at the dining table, each with a bacon butty in hand and a cup of tea beside them. The duvet and pillow she’d fished out of the airing cupboard for Fraser last night lay neatly folded on the sofa.

  Mum beamed up at her—bright and well, happier than she’d been for a long time. So her hair was mussed and her red fleece dressing gown was buttoned up lopsided. Only her laughing eyes mattered.

  “Sarah, here you are. Fraser told me to let you sleep in, so I did. But you’re missing all the fun. We’ve been playing Snakes And Ladders. Remember how we used to play when you were younger? I’m winning.”

  Fraser grinned. Did he realise how endearing he looked, all sleepy-eyed and tousled, with dark beard stubble on his face and a tuft of hair sticking up at the back? She longed to reach out and smooth it.

  Instead, her hand lifted to her own hair. She’d be a mess in this old chenille robe. She hadn’t even stopped to clean her teeth.

  “She’s a tough opponent. She’s beating me two games to one.” He held out the plate of sandwiches. “Would you like a bacon butty? I made plenty.”

  “I’ll go tidy myself up first and make fresh tea.”

  She scurried away to the bathroom. When she reappeared a few minutes later—in jeans and a T-shirt, teeth cleaned, hair brushed—she felt a lot more presentable.

  While the kettle boiled, she stood in the sitting room, watching them play. Something wasn’t right. When she figured out what it was, she almost laughed out loud.

  Fraser cheated. Carefully, unobtrusively, and systematically, so Mum wouldn’t notice.

  He was letting her win.

  She had to admit it. Fraser Maclean was a good man, one of the best. If she could let herself fall in love, he’d be just the man she’d fall for.

  Except she couldn’t allow herself to fall in love.

  Not with Fraser, or any other man.

  Praying she could keep him at arm’s length until the school term ended and she never needed to see him again, she clamped down hard on her feelings.

  Iron hoops bound themselves around her chest and tightened, almost suffocating her.

  Fraser being so wonderful with Mum didn’t help at all.

  It only made knowing she’d have to let him go even harder to bear.

  Chapter Nine

  Fraser glanced up from the games board, and caught Sarah staring. He’d slid his counter down a snake, going a row further than he had to.

  He smiled at her. She looked so beautiful this morning, hair loose and wavy on her shoulders, feet bare, toes curling into the carpet. She showed a softness and vulnerability he’d only glimpsed before. Her usual rosiness highlighted her cheeks. He prayed she’d had a good night’s sleep.

  Giving her such a small gift felt like he’d received a huge blessing. He’d never quite understood “It’s more blessed to give than to receive,” but doing this for Sarah gave him an idea.

  “Isabel’s annihilating me.” He laughed.

  “Yes, I found her tough to beat when we used to play.” Sarah’s wry smile and tiny headshake told him she’d figured out exactly what he was up to, and she didn’t disapprove in the slightest. “I’ll make us fresh tea. Save me one of those sandwiches please. I’m starving.”

  Isabel beamed at him. “This has been such fun. Thank you for being here, Fraser.” She remembered his name. It seemed to mean something.

  He hoped.

  She raised her voice to call out to Sarah. “Isn’t it lovely having such a braw laddie around the house?”

  “Yes, Mum.”

  Somehow, he doubted the dutiful words matched what Sarah really thought. She deliberately avoided his eyes when she carried a tray with three mugs of tea through from the kitchen and plonked it on the other side of the table, before sitting opposite him.

  “Thank you.” He accepted a steaming mug from her and pushed the one remaining bacon butty her way.

  “Hmm, thanks.”

  Her mothe
r peered at the two of them and smiled. “So remind me, where do you two know each other from? Are you stepping out together?”

  “No,” he said, regret ringing in his tone.

  “No, Mum. We only work together,” Sarah said at exactly the same moment.

  “Snap!” they chorused. They eyed each other, and then burst into laughter.

  His optimism rose. They were like mirrors. If Sarah could laugh, maybe he had a chance with her. Now he knew her secret, and he hadn’t run away. Surely she’d agree they could spend more time together.

  Even if it meant her mum being there every time.

  He had to keep things light, make sure he didn’t scare her off. Show her that, even with all her responsibilities, life might never be simple or uncomplicated, but it could be more joy-filled.

  Mary spoke truly when she quoted the verse about needing to choose between life and death. Everyone made that choice, day by day, minute by minute. He’d chosen during the long night. If being with Sarah meant caring for her mother too, he’d do it.

  Now he had to convince her to choose to let him, and make sure he stayed man enough to stick with her, no matter what life brought.

  “You’ve got a fine young man here, Sarah,” Isabel said, as if they’d agreed they were walking out together. “Fraser, you remind me of Kenneth, Sarah’s dad, when we first started seeing each other. He had the same sense of humour. I hope you two are as happy together as us.” She frowned. “Sarah, where is he? Is he off working again? When is he coming home?”

  Sarah’s hands clenched on the table, and her jaw tightened. She turned away. “I don’t know when he’ll be home, Mum.” She loosed a long breath, then jumped up and gave her mother a hug. “While he’s working away, we manage fine, just us two girls.”

  “Oh yes, we get on wonderfully, lassie. You’re the best daughter in the world. But I miss him. It’s so nice to have a man around, too.” She peered hopefully at Fraser. “Are you staying?”

  “Not tonight, Isabel. Last night was a one-off, because Sarah wasn’t well. But I’d like to come around for dinner now and then, if I may. You can give me the chance at a return match of Snakes And Ladders. Or I see the game board has Ludo on the other side.”

  “Of course.” Isabel sparkled a little. “We’d love that. Wouldn’t we, Sarah?”

  “Yes, Mum.” Sarah’s tone had plenty of gritted teeth about it, and her warning glance told him she’d get him back later.

  He looked forward to it.

  “You need to get going, Fraser. I’ll see you out. Mum, let me put your programme on for you.”

  Sounded like she couldn’t wait to get rid of him. He’d probably pushed his luck hard enough for now. He followed her to the front door.

  She held it open, and then stepped out after him, leaving the door a little ajar, he guessed to hear Isabel. By her stormy tight-lipped expression, she planned to give him a right royal telling off.

  He got in first. “I hope you got a good night’s sleep?”

  Her anger visibly deflated. Her lips twisted wryly, and curved into a more genuine smile. “I want to stay angry over the sneaky way you asked Mum if you could come around, but how can I now? Yes, I did get a good sleep. It’s the first uninterrupted night I’ve had for years.”

  “Good. That was the whole idea, letting you have a rest.”

  “I suppose I need to say thank you?” A crinkled nose accompanied the words.

  He grinned. “Only if you feel it. I did it to help you, Sarah, not to make you feel a debt of gratitude to me. I like you. I like your mum, too.”

  She shook her head disbelievingly. “Did you have too tough a night with her?”

  He tilted his head to one side and spread his hands. “I’m still standing. She got up around two for an hour or so. Then at six thirty she came back into the sitting room, so we had breakfast and played games till you woke.”

  Sarah bit her lip and hesitated. She lifted her eyes to his, full of sadness and hurt. “When she got up in the night, was she… was she looking for Dad again?”

  He nodded. “I made her tea and chatted about a load of silly stuff. She seemed to forget and went back to bed.”

  “It’s worse lately. She never used to ask about him so much. Now, she’s forgotten he left us, so it’s harder.” Raising a hand, she rubbed her forehead. “I don’t know what to say. I can’t tell her the truth because it upsets her too much, but I don’t want to lie to her, either.”

  “What you’re doing seems to work.”

  Her lips tightened. “I’m worried she’ll get hurt or lost trying to look for him. I caught her once, out on the street. I got a special door latch fitted after that.”

  “Do you know where he is?” Anger simmered in him. How could any guy have simply walked out on them?

  She shrugged. “Before I was born, he worked on the cargo ships. He’s gone back to sea. I’ve emailed him, but he hasn’t replied.” Her hands formed white-knuckled fists. “He came to meet me at uni and told me he was leaving. I went home, to find she’d set the microwave on fire. That’s when I knew she couldn’t be left alone.”

  Sarah crumpled, folding in on herself. Her hands lifted to cover her face. “It’s so hard when she keeps asking, asking, asking. I understand why he left—she stopped being the woman he married. But I want him to come back, too. I miss my dad.”

  As naturally as breathing, his arms slipped around her to offer support, to try to comfort her. She stiffened for a moment, and then leaned against him, shoulders shaking, hands covering her face, pressed against his chest. He said nothing, simply held her, let her cry, and prayed for her.

  When she raised her head at last, sunlight glistened on her tear-wet eyes. She pulled away a little, but stayed within the circle of his arms, rubbing the moisture from her cheeks. “That’s the first time I’ve cried since he left.”

  “It’s good to cry. Mary Mackay told me as a bairn that God gave us tears for a reason, to wash away our sorrows.”

  A long breath escaped her, and she stepped back. He had no choice but to let her go.

  “No, Fraser. Tears won’t wash this away. They only make me weak when I have to be strong. That’s why you have to go. That’s why I don’t want to see you outside of school.” She raised a determined chin. “Don’t you see how easy it would be for me to grow dependent on you?”

  He fought to keep his voice quiet and gentle when he wanted to shake her. “I’m not your dad. Some men stay. Mum and Dad haven’t had it easy. My brother was in and out of hospital as a kid. But after thirty-four years, they’re still together, and Dad says they’re more in love than ever. I have a good role model.”

  “You don’t understand. It’s got nothing to do with role models, and everything to do with how difficult Mum’s type of dementia is to live with.” Emotion vibrated her voice. “Her doctors are amazed she’s still functioning as well as she is. By now, they expected she wouldn’t be able to walk or talk. But she’s going to get worse, a lot worse. I could have another ten years of caring for her. Dad didn’t even last two years before he gave up. You’ve had one night. It doesn’t make you an expert.”

  Her fierce gaze said she didn’t think him up to the challenge.

  His fists clenched and his chin rose as the Maclean fighting spirit roused. He’d prove himself to her if it killed him. That was the other meaning of the clan motto. Death before failure.

  He’d give up his sports to prove it, if he had to.

  “Sarah, I’m not making out I’m any sort of expert. Far from it. All I’m asking is for you to give me a chance to help.”

  She nodded warily, as if wondering where he was headed.

  “Mum didn’t try to do it on her own with Brodie. People from the congregation like Mary came in and babysat us or brought meals so she could be with him in the hospital. She wasn’t too proud to accept help.”

  “It’s not pride.” Her words hissed through gritted teeth, and her scowl tightened.

  Maybe he’d mak
e her angry enough to break through her walls, get to the real reason she wouldn’t take help.

  “What is it then?” He took two frustrated paces to one end of the small porch, then back. “I could sit with your mum in the evening, when I don’t have after-school training with the kids. You could take a nap or go to the library to do your course work. You could even go out with Cat, see a movie, do normal stuff. Your care for your mum is wonderful, but do you really think that’s all God wants you doing?”

  Sarah wasn’t a Maclean, but she had fighting spirit of her own. She balled her hands, and they faced off like boxers waiting for a round to begin. “Yes, as it happens. I do think that’s all God wants from me. That, and help kids enjoy sports if I can manage to teach. Nothing more.” Her shoulders dropped, and her face contorted. “Don’t you understand? I can’t have a normal life. I just can’t.” A raw edge of pain sharpened her voice.

  Her distress grabbed at his heart. The easy uncomplicated life he’d thought he wanted shattered before his eyes. Life with Sarah would be complicated, but that’s what he wanted now.

  Her struggle to regain her control played out on her scrunched-up face, in her pursed lips and tightly shut eyes. Opening her eyes, she took a deep breath. “I need to check on Mum.”

  She turned and stepped into the hall, but didn’t close the door on him.

  Lord, please guide me. I’m a simple man. I understand how to catch a rugby ball and run with it. I understand helping kids form teams. I understand where to put my fingers and toes when I’m climbing rock. This emotional stuff, treading softly on people’s feelings, I know nothing about.

  Sarah returned. “She’s watching TV.” Her face twisted. “Fraser, you really don’t understand. I can’t rely on anyone else. It’s just Mum and me, and I have to stay strong. Accepting help will make me weak.”

  “I don’t believe that, Sarah. Let me help you. If you won’t trust me, fair enough. I’m as fallible as any other man. Let someone else from the church help. God sends other people into our lives for a reason.”

  Her arms clenched across her chest. “Fraser, what do you want from me? Do you really want to help? Or do you just need to boost your ego by proving something to yourself, like I’m some new mountain to conquer?”