UNTamed: a bay falls high novel

by Kidman, Jaxson

  “I did worse. I got that other woman pregnant.”

  My chin started to quiver. The more Tucker talked the more I started to feel the need to side with Mom on her decisions in life.

  “Why are you telling me this?” I asked. I blinked fast. “What is this?”

  “Everything you’ve ever wanted to know, Tinsley,” Tucker said. “I could have tried to sweep in and become some kind of father to you. But you want all the answers you never got. So here they are.”

  “And you choose now to tell me.”

  “Because you’re here,” Tucker said. “I never got to tell the truth to either of you. You or your sister. And she’s gone and…”

  “What?”

  Tucker rubbed his chin. “It’s all my fault. Her mother was as worse off as your mother. Actually she was worse. She didn’t stop when she was pregnant. So my plan was simple. Convince both to give up the babies. That way nobody would get hurt. Your mother didn’t listen to me.”

  “But the other woman did,” I said.

  “Yeah,” Tucker said. “Angie listened to me. She was eager for it. That was painful to watch too. It was like she got a bad haircut and was waiting to grow it out. It hurt to see. I think that’s why I stopped pressuring your mother so much. Because your mother actually showed love for you. Claire helped.”

  “Claire is just tied into everything, isn’t she?” I asked. “How deep does this actually go?”

  Tucker nodded. “Claire made all the arrangements. And then at the last second, Angie changed her mind. She wanted to keep the baby. So she took off. I had no clue where she was or when she had the baby. And that’s when your mother had you. And then she fell apart. And I left.”

  “Right when things were the hardest,” I said. “You left everyone.”

  “For my own sanity.”

  “Because you’re weak,” I said.

  “Fine. Because I’m weak.”

  “So you left two families behind. One daughter to live in hell. And then another daughter to die.”

  “Christ,” Tucker said. “That’s hard to hear.”

  “Tell me I’m wrong.”

  “You’re not right,” Tucker said. “But you’re not wrong.”

  “What does that mean?” I asked.

  Tucker moved his eyes for a split second.

  I quickly turned, feeling nervous and paranoid.

  Claire was on her way outside.

  I hadn’t seen her in a while.

  And I couldn’t remember seeing her so evil looking before.

  * * *

  “This is what we want to do?” Claire asked, folding her arms.

  “I can’t live with it anymore,” Tucker said. “What’s the harm?”

  “There’s always harm,” Claire said. “All I’ve tried to do is hold this together. For everyone.”

  “Hold what together?” I asked.

  “You, Tinsley,” Claire said, her eyes moving to me. “You. You’re smart. You’re beautiful. You have a future. That’s why I put your mother in rehab. And she’s going to stay there until she’s actually clean. For good. And if she can’t get clean… then I’ll ship her around the country to keep her away from you.”

  “Keep her from me?” I asked.

  “Like I should have done sooner. And for good. Because what happened to my Kait girl was so wrong.”

  “Who…”

  I looked at Tucker.

  His eyes were filled with tears.

  I blinked fast.

  “It’s a curse,” Tucker whispered. “The need to do that shit. And she wasn’t able to break the curse. Even living with some rich family.”

  “Some rich family,” I whispered. I looked at Claire again. “Kip’s family…”

  “The Unser’s were always good people,” Claire said. “And she always wanted a daughter. When I finally tracked down Kait and realized she was in the foster system… that Angie had died of an overdose…”

  I covered my mouth.

  That sick feeling hit me again.

  My knees gave out and I went for the ground.

  Tucker managed to dive at me, his arms wrapping around me, saving me from hitting the ground and hurting myself.

  I covered my face and shook my head.

  “It's okay,” Tucker whispered. "It's okay, Tinsley."

  I thrashed my arms. “It’s not okay!”

  Tucker let me go and moved away.

  I was on my knees and looked up at Claire.

  I reached into my pocket and took out the picture Kip had given me of him and Kait.

  Claire took it from me.

  She looked at the picture and her face dropped. “How?”

  “Kip gave it to me,” I said. “He told me about her. I didn't know she was my sister though.”

  Claire folded the picture and dropped it to the ground. “Now you know.”

  “How could you?” I whispered.

  “How could I what?” Claire asked. “All I’ve done is try to save you all. Your entire family.”

  “She died.”

  “It wasn’t Claire’s fault,” Tucker said.

  I looked back at him. “You’re a piece of shit.”

  “Yes, I am,” Tucker said. “I wanted what was right for you. And for Kait.”

  “You fucked up.”

  “Everything,” Tucker said.

  “No, he didn’t,” Claire said. She crouched down to face me. “Not the way you keep thinking. Your mother should have listened to him.”

  “And given me up for adoption?” I asked.

  “Given you to me to raise,” Claire whispered. “The life I wanted to give you…”

  “Look what happened to Kait,” Tucker said. “She couldn’t fight it. And we never knew…”

  “Were you in her life?” I asked, looking back at Tucker again.

  “No,” Tucker said. “She was finally in a good home. She was happy. She looked happy. Just like you here, Tinsley.”

  “And the ending isn’t the same,” Claire hurried to say. “I’m not the Unser’s.”

  I felt my throat close and open again.

  I reached for the picture of Kip and Kait.

  Now it made more sense.

  Of course Kait and I looked alike.

  The more I studied the picture the more I saw it.

  Kait looked like Tucker. But not in a grubby, ugly man way. And some of her features… the shape of her eyes… her ears… they looked like mine.

  It was obvious her mother was opposite to mine though.

  But either way, she was my sister.

  And just like me she was thrown into the world of BFH. She got the attention of the Rulz - Kip - and look what happened. She tried to fit in. She tried to act rich when she wasn’t. And she lost herself and lost her life.

  I curled my hand around the picture.

  “That’s why I’m here right now,” Tucker said. “To do for you what I didn’t do for Kait.”

  “Tucker, that’s not true,” Claire said.

  I hurried to get to my feet.

  Claire and Tucker were still on the ground.

  I shook my head. “I don’t believe you.”

  “Who?” Claire asked.

  “Both of you. This is too much.”

  “Tinsley, look at my life,” Tucker said. “I’ve lost everything. Including you.”

  “No,” I said. “You never had me. You walked away.”

  “But I never did,” Claire said.

  “Yes, you did. You left us stranded. And you showed up when it was convenient for you. To put this plan together. This entire thing is a lie.”

  “Nothing is a lie,” Claire said. “I haven’t lied to you once.”

  “You just haven’t told me everything.”

  “For your own good.” Claire stood up. “I didn’t want you overwhelmed or heartbroken. You were standing outside that hospital with tears in your eyes. You found your mother with a needle in her arm. She was going to fucking die, Tinsley. Remember that. Say it out
loud. What she did. What she kept doing. I want you to have a chance…”

  I held the picture out. “Like she did?”

  “That’s why you’re here,” Claire said. “You’re not some prize like Kait was to them. They killed her. Not the drugs.”

  “Claire!” Tucker yelled.

  Claire’s eyes welled with tears. “I should have saved her. I should have seen it coming. And I didn’t.”

  I ran toward the door.

  “Claire, give her a second,” Tucker said.

  That was probably the smartest thing Tucker had ever said since I met him.

  But it was also the most dangerous.

  The anger that raged through my heart told me one thing.

  I needed to finish what I started with the Rulz.

  fifteen

  fifteen

  I told Gi and Iris everything.

  From beginning to end.

  And then I showed them the picture of Kip and Kait.

  We were at the beach, sitting in the sand, the beach breeze trying its best to cheer me up. But all I could do was stare at the ocean waves, realizing that for how perfect the sound was, they were also deadly.

  Beautiful and deadly.

  That’s what I wanted to be.

  “We knew her,” Gi said. “We knew your sister.”

  “No shit, Gi,” Iris said. “We partied with her. We saw her…”

  “Saw her what?” I asked.

  “She liked to party,” Iris said. “Really hard. And she did so without care because if someone tried anything funny, Kip would be there.”

  “He was always right there,” Gi said.

  “He loved her,” I said. “Like was in love with her. And he couldn’t have her.”

  “So, he wanted you,” Iris said.

  “Iris,” Gi said.

  “She’s right,” I said. “That’s why Kip looked at me the way he did. It was all the time too. I swore he loved me. He didn’t though. He saw Kait. Something about me just…”

  “I can see why,” Iris said. “If your hair and eyes were darker, you could almost be twins. I can’t believe I didn’t make the connection.”

  “A lot of people can look alike,” I said.

  “I can’t believe this,” Gi said. “All of this happening right here.”

  “Kip’s heartbroken all over again,” I said.

  “And you give a shit why?” Iris asked.

  “I don’t know if I do or not. It was all fake and yet I can’t let it go.”

  “I’m so sorry, Ti,” Gi said.

  “Oh, and to top that all off, Barr was fucking some girl when I went to talk to him,” I said with a laugh.

  “What?” they both asked.

  “Yeah. Kip told me to ask Barr about Kait. Because of what BC did.”

  “I remember that,” Iris said. “It was scary. The Rulz were no more for a little while. Kip and Barr would fight. I mean, physically fight. They would beat the shit out of each other over it.”

  “Hold up, Iris,” Gi said. “What happened with Barr?”

  “Nothing. He made it very clear who he was and what we are. I think he almost wanted me to know. I followed him into his house and there was some bitch in a sheet. And nothing else. And he didn’t give a shit about it.”

  “What an asshole,” Iris said. “After everything they did…”

  “Yet I’m dumb enough to fall in love,” I whispered.

  “In love?” Gi asked.

  “Yeah,” I said. I swallowed hard. “I need to talk to Pres. I need to know the rest of it. The story. Where they heard I was untouched. Who told them the truth. Then I’m done with everything.”

  “Don’t leave,” Gi said. “We need you here, Ti. You’ve done something we’ve never seen before. You’ve got the Rulz on edge. Nobody has ever done that.”

  “That’s my legacy then? The poor girl who showed up and broke up the Rulz? Then what? I just fade away into the night like I was never really here.”

  “You can just stay with Claire,” Iris said. “You own her now. Just like you own the Rulz.”

  “I don’t know,” I said. “There’s still something very off about her. Something else she’s not telling me. And it’s only a matter of time before my mother is out of rehab. Then I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

  Iris reached across Gi and handed me the picture of Kip and Kait.

  “I can’t believe this,” Gi whispered. “Your sister…”

  “I need to talk to Kip again,” I said. “I need to finish the conversation now that I know everything.”

  “I hope you kick him in the balls,” Iris said.

  I stared at the picture.

  He loved her.

  Maybe that seemed weird because Kait lived in the same house. But it didn’t matter.

  “When he protected her,” I said. “What did he do?”

  “Everyone knew who Kait was,” Gi said. “That she was with the Unser family. Kip protected her in any way he could. He drove her to and from class. Anywhere she went, he would always somehow, someway show up. And if someone got out of line…”

  Iris made a hand gesture.

  “What?” I asked. “Don’t you two start hiding shit from me again. Did they have anything to do with Bray? Beth? Who?”

  “It was a guy named Malcolm,” Gi said. “He was some pretty surfer boy. He and Kip never got along. Just on the surfing thing alone. But then one night Malcolm made a move on Kait.”

  “Nothing like what Jacob did to Aira down at HCH,” Gi said.

  “But still,” Iris said, “it was a dick move. To get under Kip’s skin. Of course Kait was out of her mind. She could never just take it easy at a party. She had to go hard. Really hard. I’m talking within an hour she was dancing on a table. Or she was trying to lift her shirt and be extra silly and flirty.”

  “That drove Kip crazy,” Gi said.

  “Malcolm kissed her,” Iris said. “I don’t know how it all went down but Kip found out and that was it.”

  “What did he do?” I asked.

  “He put Malcolm in the hospital. He was going to kill him. No doubt in my mind. Barr pulled Kip off Malcolm and Kip still wasn’t done. He and Barr got tangled up. Kip even ended up taking a swing at Pres. It wasn’t until Kait got in front of Kip did he calm down. It was like watching a movie where the monster was trying to destroy the town and the pretty girl was the only one who could stop it.”

  “Shit,” I said.

  “It was crazy. Kip got into serious trouble. But something happened with their families. Malcolm’s father suddenly had a new job and they left town for good.”

  “Wow,” I said. “It was that intense?”

  “That intense,” Gi said. “And when she died…”

  “Everyone felt it,” Iris said. “There were counselors at BFH. We all got lectured on drugs and decisions.”

  “And she was my sister,” I said. “And she had no idea about me.”

  I wiped the corners of my eyes.

  My pocket began to vibrate and I leaned back to dig my phone out.

  I laughed. “Of course.”

  “What is it?” Gi asked.

  I showed her my screen.

  It was Barr.

  I know where Pres is- if you want to save him call me asap

  “Save him?” Gi asked. “What does that mean?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “I guess I’m going to find out.”

  * * *

  Barr was finishing a cigarette, standing outside the same car he drove when we went out on our date.

  And speaking of which, that felt like it was ten years ago.

  In some way I was more innocent then. Even though I knew what was happening and why. That the Rulz were betting on me. That I was going to scheme and fight back. And even then, I was swept away by Barr. And Kip. And Pres.

  But watching Barr get up on that stage of the underground club and play to a crowd who loved him was something amazing.

  Now Barr looked like a cal
culated asshole.

  He flicked his cigarette away and nodded to me. “How are you, love?”

  “Falling apart,” I said. “You?”

  “Don’t worry about me. Not your job anymore.”

  “It never was.”

  Barr closed in on me. He grinned. “But you did. You wanted it all, love. You wanted something that was never there to begin with. Ever.”

  “I’m meeting you to get to Pres.”

  “Of course you are,” he said. “You want more of your precious answers?”

  I swallowed hard. “You’re just messing with me, Barr. Just one game after another.”

  “No, love. We’re well beyond games by now.”

  He touched my cheek and I turned away.

  The smell of cigarette smoke made my stomach turn.

  Finally.

  The cloak had been pulled away from Barr.

  I saw him for who he really was.

  Brutally honest, sure. That I could respect a little.

  But everything else…

  “I have a question for you, love. Need you to answer me honestly.”

  “What?”

  “Do you have a hard time letting go?”

  “Letting go? Of what?”

  “Of what you once loved?”

  I sighed. “Whatever, Barr.”

  “It’s a serious question.”

  “I don’t know how to answer that. What do you want? Is this about where I lived? Worried about me leaving BFH again? What does it matter to you anymore?”

  “Crazy part, love, I can’t imagine you not here. You’re part of everything now.”

  “Right,” I said. “I guess I have no choice then but to let go. How’s that for an answer?”

  “That’s exactly what I wanted to hear you say.”

  Barr got into his car.

  I got into my SUV.

  Claire’s SUV. Because no matter what was happening now, everything was still owed to Claire. She gave me this. She did this.

  I followed Barr and realized after just a few minutes that he was taking me to the ditch.

  I rolled my eyes.

  Like I really gave a damn about the ditch.

  And what was he going to show me?

  That Pres was up there fighting?

  Compared to what I had been going through, that was way down on my list of things to worry about.