Intimate Intuition

by Audrey Carlan

  “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything. I understand…” Dara starts. My lovely peacekeeper.

  Whit cuts her off. “No, no. I was a horrible bitch, and I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve the things I said, and when Mom called about you bein’ in a car accident and halfway through your pregnancy, what happened to Sarah all came rushing back, but this time…” Her voice hitches, and tears slip down her cheeks. “This time I was worried I’d lost you and my niece or nephew before I ever got to know you, and those things I said were not me. Well, they were me, but so messed up, a bad side of me I never want to see again. And Dara…I’m sorry. So, so, sorry. Can you ever forgive me?” she finally rushes out, like a balloon losing all its air in one go.

  “Done. Forgiven.” Dara smiles genuinely, her appearance nothing but serene. Reminds me of when she’s sitting before a room of clients, readying to teach meditation.

  “That’s it? No backlash?” Whitney frowns and bites her lip.

  Dara’s nose crinkles as she thinks about the question. “I don’t hold grudges. Life is full of good and bad. Cause and effect. People say things they don’t mean or mean them at the time but don’t mean them later. Who am I to decide they aren’t sorry when they’ve said it? I accept your apology and would very much like to get to know my future sister-in-law.”

  Whitney swallows, her mouth opening and closing for a second before she turns to me. “I can see now why you fell in love with her and are going to marry her.”

  I nudge her shoulder. “Duh!” I say, lightening the heaviness that entered the room with my sister and her drama. At least she apologized. If Dara can move on and be the bigger person, so can I.

  “I’m pretty sure it’s because she’s smokin’ hot. Damn, bro.” Kevin smirks, holding his hand up to his mouth and sucking in air between his teeth.

  “Shut up. Don’t look at my woman like that,” I scold, narrowing my eyes.

  Russell loops an arm over my shoulders. “Yeah, bro, she got a sister? I’d be all over that like Mom’s fried chicken.”

  Dara and the women all chuckle. A fire ignites in my belly, the green-eyed monster rearing its ugly head.

  “Bros, you better step off. That’s my woman, who also happens to be carrying my baby girl in her belly! My ring on her finger. And no, she doesn’t have any sisters!”

  “A baby girl!” My mother gasps. “You’re having a girl, Silas?”

  I grin, go over to Dara’s side, and grab her hand. She kisses the back of my hand and nods.

  “Yeah, Ma, we’re having a girl.” I place my hand over her belly, rubbing a circle around the space where my daughter rests.

  The entire room bursts out in cheers and tears equally. The guys, of course, give a bunch of “Congrats” and back slaps.

  I chance a glance at my girl, and she’s smiling away, sharing the pictures of our daughter the doctor gave us from the twenty-week check.

  Our destiny.

  Chapter Twenty

  It can be interpreted through many spiritual teachings and study of the seven chakras, that babies are driven by the third eye chakra from the moment they are in the womb and through the early years. A baby’s motivations are based on intuition. Learning their way by touch, taste, sight, feel, and hearing. A person with a healthy third eye chakra will have an innate connection to their five senses. However, that doesn’t mean the chakra will stay their primary driving source. That can change as their personalities form and they experience the beauty life offers.

  DARA

  Four months later…

  “Seriously, Silas, if you ask if I’m okay one more time, I’m going to throttle you!” I growl and then grunt, curling over and leaning against the railing at our home when another contraction barrels its way through me. My abdomen tightens, and at first I hold my breath.

  “Breathe, lil’ mama. In for five, out for five, remember,” Silas coos softly.

  I nod, allowing his words to seep into my frazzled mind. For a solid minute, I breathe with my husband, standing on one of the stairs in our home, preparing to head to the hospital.

  After the car accident, Silas made quick work of getting me to the altar. He did not care that I was six months pregnant. We married in the backyard of our new home, a total of sixty people present. Guests were family and very close friends. I wore a silky white sundress and a crown of flowers around my head. We both wore flip-flops, mine with white sparkly beads, Silas’s a deep brown. We encouraged friends and family to bring their swimsuits and provided beach towels as the giveaway with our names and wedding date embroidered on them. We had a local meat company come and grill out on a large BBQ, offered a full bar, and told everyone to dress casually. My father gave me away. Luna and Ricky stood up as my attendants, and on Silas’s side, he had Atlas and Monet. We didn’t care that we were mixing up the traditions because we’re about making our own.

  It was by far the best day of my life.

  Now I think I’m going to have a new day that will take that position. The day I meet my daughter for the first time.

  Silas opens the car door, his hand shaking as he does.

  “Want me to drive?” I smirk and then wince when another contraction hits. “Ooooweeeee.” I clench my teeth and wait until it stops before getting in the car.

  Silas ignores my joke but runs around his BMW, gets in, puts the car in gear, and then jams out the drive and toward the hospital. We have a solid twenty-minute drive, but I hope it takes less than that. The baby seems to want out. Contractions are coming every three minutes, leading me to believe this is not going to be a long labor and delivery.

  “Still keeping the name you want a secret?” I ask, trying to change the subject away from the agony starting at my back and rolling around to my abdomen.

  Baby kicks, shoving her foot up into my ribcage. I grit through that annoyance and rub her little foot through my skin, trying to push it down. Poor thing is already upside down, and her head is smashed between my pelvic bones. She can’t be enjoying this.

  Silas purses his lips. “I’ll know it for sure when I see her.”

  “Baby, what if I hate it?” I pout.

  He grins at me briefly and puts one of his hands over my giant belly. “You won’t. If it’s meant to be, it will be. I can’t force it on you, and vice versa.”

  “But I already told you mine.” I frown and then grip the “oh shit” bar in preparation for another round of pain.

  “Vanessa is your mother’s name.”

  “Yeah, and it’s a good name. A beautiful name, from a beautiful namesake. People name their children after their grandparents all the time.”

  “Then we should name her Vanessa Darlene,” he quips.

  I shrug. “If that’s what you want.” I’m willing to make any concession if I get to have Vanessa in my child’s name.

  He groans and rubs at the back of his neck, eyes focused on the road. “Baby, I don’t. I just need to see our daughter before I commit. Okay?”

  Another contraction barrels down on me, this one far stronger than any of the ones before.

  “Shit, babe, only two minutes twenty seconds on that one. They are already progressing. Fuck!” He slams his hand down on the steering wheel.

  I breathe and chant internally, willing my baby to wait until we get to the hospital. “It will be okay.” I reach over and grab Silas’s hand. “We’ve gotten this far. We’ll get to the finish line too. Us three, safe and sound, remember?”

  He sucks in a huge breath of air and lets it out. “Just us three.”

  “Until you knock me up again. But we agreed, baby has to be a full year old before we try again!” I remind him.

  He grins and waggles his eyebrows.

  “Nuh-uh, no way! I know that look, Mr. McKnight. You are not knocking me up six weeks after we have this one. I want some time with our daughter before we try. Close to two years apart. You agreed!”

  Silas lifts my hand and kisses each of my fingers. “Whatever you wish is my command, m
y queen.”

  I roll my eyes. He’s going to try to get me pregnant again right away. I just know it.

  * * *

  “One last push and you’re done!” my doctor calls out. “Bear down, Dara. Let’s meet your daughter!”

  Both Silas and my mother have one of my thighs pushed back, and I’m spread wide. I take in as much air as I can, bear down with all my might, and then she’s here.

  My daughter.

  On my belly. The nurses clean up my girl, wiping her off, revealing perfectly pink skin, lighter than both Silas and me, as well as wisps of dark-chocolate hair.

  When she’s clean, the nurse pushes up and removes my paper gown, leaving my breasts out free to the breeze, and sets my naked daughter right on top of my chest. A warm blanket is then put over both of us.

  “I’m going to head out and tell everyone the good news. If that’s okay with you two?” my mama asks.

  “Yes, please,” Silas says as my mother kisses my temple.

  “So proud of you. So proud,” she says before leaving us private time with our baby.

  “You said you wanted to try to nurse right after birth, right?” the midwife asks.

  I nod, mesmerized by my daughter in my arms.

  “She’s so little and perfect. Our daughter.” Silas kisses my forehead, leans down, and presses his mouth to our baby’s head. “I love you, Destiny. I love you, lil’ one.”

  Destiny.

  Chills and gooseflesh rise up all over my skin, and the tears fall. That’s her name. He’s known it all along. “Destiny Vanessa McKnight,” I whisper in our little huddle.

  Silas smiles huge and nods. “She’s always been my destiny. Just like her mother. I love you, Dara.” He kisses me slowly and softly.

  “I love you. And I love you, my sweet cupcake.” I snuggle her up higher so I can kiss her soft skin.

  “Let’s get her weighed and a tag on her right away,” the nurse says, reaching for my girl. I hand her off, but the nurse brings her back and puts her right on my bare chest again. “Okay, Mom, she’s ready. Seven pounds even. Twenty-one inches long even.”

  I commit that information to memory as Destiny’s mouth starts to work against the fleshy part of my breast as if she already knows what to do.

  “Lift up your breast with one hand, and as the baby starts to nuzzle, make sure you get as much of your entire nipple into her mouth as you can.” The midwife peeks over, reaches forward, cradling her hand around my daughter’s head and urging her deeper onto my breast. “There you go. Good, Mom. Now just enjoy. When she’s full, I’d suggest Dad take off his shirt and have skin-on-skin bonding time right away too.”

  Silas nods. “Anything my girl needs. I’m right here.” He hovers over the bed and watches our daughter nurse, petting her head and sniffing her. “She smells good already. You are like your mama, lil’ one.” He laughs while I pet my daughter’s cheek.

  When I’m done nursing and the baby is sleepy, I pass her off to a now shirtless Silas. He doesn’t care who is there or what is going on; he wants direct bonding time as soon as possible. We discussed this at length between us and our midwife, and so far, everything is going perfectly. Since we’re breastfeeding, Silas won’t be doing feedings. We decided I’d feed and he’d burp and settle her so we both have as much equal bonding time as possible.

  “Just pat and rub her back,” the midwife encourages as Silas adjusts the baby’s head on his muscled pec, and the midwife puts the blanket over the two of them.

  “How’s it feel, Daddy?” I ask my man while the team of people clean me up and get me ready to move into the receiving room.

  Silas smiles huge. “Right. It feels right.”

  The baby makes a tiny burp noise, and I can tell by the cheesy facial expression that he’s pleased with himself.

  “Can I have her back now?” I purse my lips and reach out my hands.

  “Yeah.” His tone is husky and filled with emotion. “You want your mama, lil’ one? Me too. But you’re going to have to share, and she’s going to have to share you too, with me. All right? Good that we got that settled early on,” he discusses with our sleeping baby.

  He passes our daughter off to me, and then the team wheels me into the room we’ll be in for the next day or two.

  * * *

  I have never felt so loved in my entire life. Between Silas and my daughter, my heart is filled to bursting. I never knew I could feel this way.

  Silas, my husband, which is still hard to even think is reality, is leaning his bum on my bed while I hold our daughter. My parents have just come in to meet her privately, but the horde of visitors is encroaching.

  “Mom, Dad, Silas and I would like to introduce you to Destiny Vanessa McKnight,” I say proudly but with a little warble to my voice. I’ve wanted to give this gift to my mama my whole life. She gave me everything when I was eight years old, and I had nothing to give in return. And now, at twenty-five, I can give her a namesake in my child.

  My mother stops by the side of my bed, lifts up both her hands to her face, and promptly bursts into tears. “I never thought I’d have this, Darren. Never,” she croaks, her rounded body and bosom heaving with the effort.

  “Mama, I love you. Silas and I want to honor you by giving our child your name. Give back a little of what you’ve given me. I chose you, the same way you chose me.”

  “Give me my grandbaby before I lose my mind, child.” She kisses my head not once but twice. Double the love. It’s her signature.

  Silas lifts our daughter, walks around my bed, and places her in her grandmother’s arms.

  “Look, Darren. Our grandbaby. Living proof of our legacy of love,” she whispers, but I can hear her. My mother has never treated me like an adopted child but rather a part of her soul because she chose it to be that way. I was never at a loss for love, and now my girl is going to have that love in them too. I couldn’t be happier.

  At least I thought so until an impatient knock on the door. Behind the door is not only Silas’s entire family but the Hart and the Powers clans too.

  I simply watch my daughter get passed around from person to person, Silas the guard, needing to watch each handoff as if he were a referee. The man cannot settle. He wants to be near Destiny and me at all times. I think he’s still reeling from finally becoming a father after battling that desire for so long. Regardless, it’s beautiful, and I’m not going to nag or scold him about his overprotective ways.

  Over time, my guy will get used to the fact that he has a loving wife and a daughter who are alive and well. It may take a while, but I’ll be there to help him find his way. My intuition is strong, and I know what he needs intimately…our Destiny, together.

  Epilogue

  Two years later…

  SILAS

  The sun is warm on my skin as I sit outside with the chubby bundle snuggled in my arms. Dara is in the pool, Destiny in her arms as she spins around in the shallow end. My girl loves the pool. She loves anything dangerous. My lil’ one was walking at ten months and trying to dive in head first at twelve. Like Dara, she’s not afraid of anything. Destiny accepts life as it comes.

  I love watching my girls together. Carefree, easy, no worries. It gives me peace to see their smiles, and these two smile a lot.

  Unlike my serious little man in my lap. Jackson Devon McKnight, our six-month-old. Dara pushed to wait a full year to get pregnant with our second child, but I won out in the end. Okay, I won by three months. She allowed us to try when Destiny was nine months old. Of course, we got pregnant right away.

  When we went to get our twenty-week sonogram and I found out we were having a son, I responded much like I did the first time. Much to my chagrin. Having two beautiful women in the house was a blessing and a curse at the same time.

  These women own my soul, control all my thoughts. I needed another man to help pick up the slack. And I got him. Boy, did I get my match. Jackson Devon, named after Dara’s parents and my dad, is exactly like me so far, with one e
xception—he’s calm like Dara. He enjoys the scenery. Never cries. Sleeps well. Eats well. Doesn’t make a fuss. If he can see his mother or his sister in the vicinity, he’s a happy guy. Same as me. With my girls in my direct line of sight, I feel peace. It seems he gets that too. Jackson loves just taking in the sights. Sitting on his old man’s lap and chilling. He’s happiest with me. I think it’s because he likes to see the McKnight girls in action, not the other way around.

  I watch as Dara swings Destiny around in a circle before placing her on her hip and exiting the pool. The water runs down my wife’s sexy-as-hell body in the small bikini she only wears at home. The water droplets sluice over her curves in the same way I want to use my tongue.

  She sets Destiny down, and my naked little girl runs over to me. “Daddy!” She holds out her wet arms, and I curve my arm around her side, allowing her to soak my polo and shorts. I don’t care. I’m never going to pass up an opportunity to hug my daughter. Ever. I missed so many of those with the children I lost, I’ll take advantage of every second with the ones I do have in my life. Be it my children or other children I love. They are all blessings and deserve to be treated as such.

  “Did you get my text?” Dara asks, leaning forward, her long hair sending wet drops onto our baby’s legs. He giggles and pats at them.

  “Yeah. You said the Harts are coming to hang for dinner. Want me to grill out?”

  She nods. “Laid out steaks to marinate. You know what Moe told me?”

  “What?”

  “They’re trying for number three!”

  “Seriously?”

  She nods. “I’m thinking we should time it right so that we can be pregnant at the same time. That would be so fun!”

  I grin. “Woman…you just had a baby six months ago, and you’re telling me you want to get pregnant again? Already?”

  She curves a sexy shoulder toward her chin. “Maybe I like the result?”