Back to my Roots

by Tessa Elaine

  I'm going through the motions cleaning up after dinner and then getting settled into bed. Lucas wraps his arms around me and pulls me back from my thoughts.

  “Where did you go, baby?” I was hoping he wouldn't notice my space out all through dinner. “I lost you there for a while.” He says. I didn't mean to get so caught up in my thoughts, but it's all I seem to be thinking about. Maybe more so that I'm moving back to Eureka. I'm really happy Lucas is here with me, but I'm not sure I'm ready for him to see me like this, so vulnerable and exposed. My darkest place.

  “I was just lost in my head, I'm sorry.” I didn't want to ignore him or seem distant.

  “Want to talk about it?” He asks into the back of my head. I scoot closer to him and he holds me tighter. My favorite place in the world, Lucas's arms.

  “I just want to lay here in your arms and get lost in us.”

  He places a kiss right below my ear and moves down my neck to my shoulder, he sends a shiver all over my body. I feel the heat from my chest spread to my core then lower until I feel it between my legs. Lucas has this way of making my body come to life with the simplest of touch.

  He throws his leg over mine pulling it between him, opening me up for him. His fingers run down my side and over my hip. I reach behind me grabbing him by the back of the head. His hand runs over my stomach and across the waist of my shorts. I push my ass into his hard length.

  “Baby, let me make you feel good and take your mind off of everything.”

  That sounds amazing, Lucas is always putting me first. My feelings, my needs. This man is insatiable and I'm loving it. His hand slips under the waist of my shorts and into my panties. He slides a finger through my wet heat, and I push into him needing more. He has amazing fingers, always knowing just where to touch me. He rubs from center to my clit in slow teasing strokes.

  He whispers my name in my ear. “Elena, darlin’, I love you so much.”

  I can't say a word I just moan unintelligible sounds. I'm lost in this man. He's kissing my neck and shoulders biting ever so lightly as he goes making me ache all over for him. He pushes one finger inside me and starts to rub that perfect spot, slowly moving in and out of me, but I need more.

  “Lucas” his name comes out in a soft whisper. It’s like he’s in my head and knows exactly what I'm thinking. He adds a second finger and presses his thumb to my clit. “God, yes” I moan.

  He starts to move faster and I feel my climax rising. I'm shaking and writhing in his arms.

  “Cum for me, baby.” And just like that I fall off the edge of the cliff he had me dangling from. Falling into this blissful state of euphoria. All thoughts of today or tomorrow are gone, all that's left is Lucas and I. This man has consumed my every waking thought and it is the most peace I have felt in years.

  Coming back to earth, my breathing slows and I relax into his arms. I still feel his hardness pressed between the cheeks of my ass. I roll over to face him and run my hand up and down his length. He grabs my wrist stilling my motion and kisses my head.

  “That was just for you. Sleep baby, I will be right here when you wake up.”

  I bury my face in his chest, he wraps his big body around me and I melt into him. Feeling safe and sated. My eyes grow heavy and I'm a little scared to close them, fear of another nightmares.

  “I'm so glad you're here, Lucas.”

  “Me too, baby. Me too.”

  He kisses the top of my head and I fall asleep to him telling me how much he loves me.

  It starts out the way it always does, me standing on the side of the road watching it all play out. It's like an out of the body experience, I can see everything, but my legs never work. This time something feels different, but I can't quite put my finger on it. I'm watching the car come toward me, it doesn't look like it's going that fast. Right as the car takes the corner it swerves and rolls several times, landing on its top.

  At first, I see my dad in their car, with my mom laying in the road. They are both covered in blood. I try to scream at them, but nothing comes out. I cover my face with my hands and sob hysterically. When I look back at the scene the vehicle is different, it's Lucas's ford raptor. I look around, panicking, wondering what’s going on, that's when I see Lucas laying there covered in his own blood. There is glass everywhere and he's not moving. I try to go to him, but I still can’t move, can’t make a sound. I can hear him calling my name. “Elena” It's faint, but I can hear him. “Elena, baby, wake up.” Wake up? Please Lucas, you have to be okay. I can't lose you too.

  “Elena, darlin, come back to me.” I feel myself shaking. My eyes fly open and I'm gasping for air, I feel hot tears running down the side of my face and it takes a second to focus and realize where I am. When my vision finally clears and the fog lifts from my mind, I see Lucas looking down at me. He’s holding my face in his hands with a look of terror in his eyes.

  “Elena, talk to me, I'm freaking out.”

  I hear his words, but I'm unable to respond, he just keeps stroking the side of my face with his thumbs. I close my eyes and swallow the lump in my throat, trying to find my voice. We lay there for a few minutes, him holding me while I pull myself together. That nightmare started just as the rest, but ended completely different. My heart starts to race with the vision of Lucas lying bloody in the road, my breathing starts to speed up and I'm shaking all over again. Lucas holds me tighter patiently waiting for me to talk to him.

  “Just breath, baby.” He whispers in my neck.

  I take a deep breath and try to speak.

  “I...” I stop when my voice comes out all shaky. I clear my throat and start again.

  “I was having the same nightmare I’ve been having. It always starts the same, me stuck on the side of the road watching the accident happen.” I breathe deep trying to keep my emotions in check. “This time it was different at the end...” I feel the tears slip out of the corner of my eyes. I don't know if I can say it out loud, it felt so real. Watching the man I love die in a nightmare was excruciating. I turn over in his arms and lay my head on his chest breathing him in. I run my hands over him reassuring myself he's still here and okay.

  “It was you, Lucas. You were the one laying in the road covered in blood. I couldn't go to you, I couldn't speak, I was helpless. I lost you.” I say and start sobbing.

  He rolls to his back and pulls me with him to where I'm lying on his chest. He runs his hands through my hair and down my back, comforting me in ways only Lucas can.

  “I'm okay, baby. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere.”

  “I can't lose you.” Just the thought of not having him in my life puts my stomach in knots. “I'm so scared.” I admit to him.

  “I know, darlin’. You're not going to lose me, I'm not going anywhere.”

  How does he know, my parents never planned on leaving me and look how that turned out?

  “You don't know that. I couldn't survive losing you too.”

  Chapter 21

  Lucas

  Last night was crazy. I have never seen Elena like that, and it scared the shit out of me. She was crying and tossing in her sleep, but what got me the most was the scream. The last time she screamed like that was when they told her she had lost both of her parents. My heart aches for her, and to have to go through this every year. I wish there was something I could do.

  We talked most of the night, she told me about the nightmare that usually they are the same, but this one changed at the end. This time she said it was me laying in a bloody mess on the road. She told me she could hear me calling her name, but she couldn't move or speak. I tried to convince her I was okay and that I'm not going anywhere. Having her open up to me meant the world, but having her admit her fears devastated me.

  After she finally closed her eyes and went back to sleep I stayed up awhile longer watching over her. I know I can't keep her safe from her own mind, but I feel helpless so I will do the best I can. I had only had a few hours of sleep before the sun started to come up, so I decided to m
ake her breakfast. It’s her birthday and I want to make it the best I can, even with today also being the anniversary of her parent’s death.

  This woman is my life and I will do anything to make her happy.

  I get out of bed slowly so I don't wake her, heading to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. By the time I get breakfast done Aubrey is strolling through the door. She walks over to the coffee pot pours herself a glass and leans against the counter.

  “How was last night?” Aubrey asks. I have nothing to compare last night to so I have no idea.

  “Honestly? She scared the hell out of me, but this is a first for me.” I tell her hoping for insight or advice.

  “Yeah, the first year we moved in together it scared the shit out of me too. Her nightmares are pretty intense. She has her own way of dealing and you just have to let her work through her processes, but having you here will help.”

  “You think so?” I ask unsure if me being here really is helping.

  “Absolutely cowboy, now I'm off to wash the funk off. Kiss our girl for me.”

  Aubrey is crazy as hell, but I am so glad Elena has her in her life. She has taken great care of her and has been a great friend. I grab the tray of food and coffee then head back to bad. I want to feed her in bed then eat my breakfast off of her, if she’s up for it. Maybe a hot shower after, then if she wants we can get out of the apartment. Do some shopping or just take a walk, she can show me around.

  I walk into the bedroom and find Elena standing in front of her bedroom windows. She has her arms wrapped around her middle and she's just staring outside. When she hears me walk in she reaches up and wipes her eyes. Sitting the tray of food down I go to her, wrapping my arms around her from behind. Holding her close. She melts into me and lays her head back on my shoulder.

  I kiss the side of her neck trying to be here for her. I want to ask if she's okay, but I know that's a stupid question, no she's not okay. We stand there for a little while just at the window, her lost in thought and me lost in her. Running my hands up her arms I slowly turn her to face me. I take her face in my hands and she gives me the saddest smile I have ever seen. It crushes me.

  “I love you,” I mouth to her not wanting to break the spell we are under.

  “I love you, too” she mouths back and a tear slips from her eye.

  I wipe it away with my thumb then lean down and sip from her lips. This kiss is gentle and amorous, I just want her to know I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I pull back just a breath away.

  “I made you breakfast and coffee, feel like eating?” She nods and I kiss her one more time, then take her hand and walk her back to the bed. I sit with my back to the head board and pull her into my lap, placing the tray next to us. I hand her a cup of coffee and start to feed her one bit at a time. She finally gives me a real smile and it makes me want to puff out my chest and strut around because I put it there.

  I can feed myself, you know?” She says.

  “Yes,” I say giving her another bit. “I do know, but I love taking care of my girl.” I kiss the top of her head and continue to take care of her.

  After breakfast I skip the sex, she doesn't look like she's in the mood. I clean up our mess then head back to bed with her.

  “Feel up for a shower?” I whisper in her ear, she just nods. She says hardly a word, but I understand.

  I scoop her up in my arms and walk her to the bathroom. Sitting her on the counter I walk to the shower to get it running so it warms up. I walk back over to her, she's just looking down at the floor. Reaching out and pushing her hair over her shoulder I place my finger under her chin tilting her head up so she's looking at me.

  We are eye to eye, I step closer to her, kissing her softly. I run my hand through her hair, down her back, and around her waist. I pull back just a step so I can lift her shirt over her head, now she's only in sleep shorts. I run my finger across her jaw, down the front of her neck, between her breast, and I see her flesh pucker and I love the way she responds to my touch. I just want to run my hands all over her body then let my tongue follow the same path.

  I help her off the sink and kneel down in front of her when she's standing. Kissing her stomach lightly, then her hips, as I run my finger along the waist of her shorts. I slowly pull her shorts and her panties down kissing my way as I go. I kiss each hip, making my way down and place a kiss right on her slit. She gasps at the slightest touch and grabs the sink. Yes, baby. I slide her shorts down placing a kiss on each thigh.

  When they reach her ankles, I whisper. “Step out, darlin’.”

  She does as I say on shaky legs. I stand and pull my shirt over my head then drop my pants. When we are both undressed I lead her to the shower and we both step under the hot water and I start to wet her hair. She’s completely soaked and I take my time washing her from head to toe. She has the most beautiful body, soft skin, perfect curves, golden tan. Elena is beautiful. I'm the luckiest bastard on this earth. After I'm finished she reaches for the soap.

  “My turn” she says.

  “Baby, if you put your hands on me I won't be able to control myself.”

  Just being in the shower with her while that glorious body is soaking wet has me harder than granite. There's only so much control I can keep. She wraps her hands around my cock and I can't stop the groan that slips past my lips, her hands feel amazing.

  “Elena” I say in warning.

  “What I need right now is for you to lose control, Lucas.”

  “Are you sure that's what you want, baby?” I will give her whatever she asks for.

  “It's what I need, Lucas. I need you.” She whispers to me and I'm ready to give her everything.

  I lean in close to her ear, “How do you want it, darlin’?” she moans and leans into me.

  “Take me,” she says on a breath, my girl wants it she will get it.

  “Turn around and put your hands on the wall.” I tell her and my voice comes out gravely with my arousal. This woman has me so turned on I could cum at any minute.

  She does as I say and I grab both wrists in one hand. I reach up with the other and move her hair to one shoulder. Running my nose up her neck I bit lightly at her ear lobe. She smells and taste like heaven.

  “Spread your legs for me, baby.” When she is exactly where I want her, I run my hand up her thigh until I can feel the heat of her pussy. Even with all the water I can still feel how wet she is for me. She moans loud when I run my fingers through her folds.

  “Please, don't tease me.” She says in a shaking voice.

  “Tell me what you want, Elena.”

  “I want you inside me.” She leans down with her hands still on the wall and pushes her ass out and up. God, that's a beautiful sight. I step back and run my hands up her back and into her hair. Grabbing a fist full, I pull back and to the side so she's looking right at me. She licks her lips and her breathing turns into panting. I lean down and claim her mouth, teeth clashing, tongues tangled. This is demanding and fierce.

  Still claiming her mouth, I reach down and position my cock at her entrance. She moans into my mouth and that just makes me crazier. I slam into her until my hips are pressed tightly to her ass. She is so tight and feels so good I have to bit the inside of my cheek to keep from spilling into her too soon. I start pulling out slow then slamming back in. I have to wrap my arm around her chest so I don't slam her head into the shower wall.

  “Faster,” she moans.

  I reach up with my other hand and pinch her hard nipple. I can feel her clenching around my dick every time. I'm moving in and out of her faster, using my other arm to pull her body back so she's slamming on my cock. Her moans are loud and she's pushing off the wall, she's ravenous. It’s fucking hot as hell. I can tell she's getting close and so am I, so I slide my free hand down and press two fingers to her clit. Circling her hard nub a couple times sends her over.

  “Yes, Lucas. Yes!” She screams my name.

  Her tight walls milking my cock has me coming so hard I think I
see stars. I’m shaking and my knees feel weak. When we have both come down from the extent of our love making and I'm still inside her. I tell her how much she means to me.

  “I love you so fucking much, Elena. I can't go home Sunday without you. I can't leave you again, don't make me, please say you will come home to me, to our home.”

  She's quiet for a minute while I just hold her and my heart races waiting for her answer. I really can't go back to Eureka without her. I need her by my side, in my bed, in my life. She is my everything and I refuse to let her go, ever. She stands up and my dick slips out and I moan at the loss of her heat. She turns to face me and I can see the tears form in her eyes, I'm worried I pushed too hard.

  “Okay.” My eyes go wide and my heart starts pounding harder.

  “Really?” I ask needing to make sure I wasn't hearing things.

  “Yes,” she says and I am on her so fast, lifting her and pressing her against the wall. I kiss her until the water runs cold.

  I move us from the shower and dry us both off, I carry her back to her room and lay her on her bed. I have her towel off and my body curled around her in seconds. My body is humming with excitement, I want to throw everything in the back of my truck and have her in my house by sundown. I didn't want to push her, I know she's giving up her life to move in with me, but I can't go back home without her.

  This might sound sappy but this woman completes my life, I need her by my side for always. She doesn't know how much she means to me, but she will. I will show her every day of our lives, everything I do will be to make her happy. I keep picturing our future, her as my wife, swollen with our child. It makes me so happy my chest hurts. She lays there silently just letting me hold her for a little while.

  “You're awful quiet back there?” she finally says and I smile.