The Choice

by Shayla Black

  “Hey, I’m not in a hurry. I don’t want you to feel rushed. Is it your first time?”

  She winced. “Is it that obvious?”

  “Only because I’m so fascinated by you that I watch every move.” He smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “We have time. It will happen when it happens. I can be patient. I just want to be with you.”

  Heavenly let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you. That means a lot to me. Since I’ve never done this—dated or hooked up or whatever we’re doing—I don’t know if I’m saying this wrong. Or if I should say anything at all.” She sucked in a deep breath. “The thing is, I like you. You make me laugh and you make me feel special. I’ve needed that for a long time. But it seems only fair for me to be honest. I like Dr. Beckman very much, too.”

  She bit her lip and waited for his reaction. His face remained carefully blank.

  “You said he was your friend.” He didn’t sound pleased.

  Should she have kept her mouth shut? But how would that be fair to Seth? If he was going to navigate around all the difficulties in her life, he had a right to know that she had feelings she couldn’t seem to help for someone else.

  “He is, but I like him as a man. I’ve thought of him…as a lover.”

  Seth jerked and sucked in a breath as if she’d punched him in the stomach. “That’s honest.”

  Heavenly grimaced. “Was I not supposed to be?”

  “No. You absolutely were.” He gave her a sharp nod. The air between them turned brittle. “On second thought, I should go. Do you need a ride home?”

  What? Panic screamed that she’d screwed up. Seth hadn’t wanted honesty, just a quick tumble. She sighed. Why was trying to be with a man she liked so complicated?

  “I can take the bus, but… Don’t leave. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry.”

  He pulled his keys from his pocket. “Maybe this is for the best.”

  As much as she hated it, maybe he was right. It wasn’t fair to expect Seth to want her when she also wanted Dr. Beckman so much. “Please don’t be angry.”

  Seth shrugged like it was no big deal, but she knew better. “I’m the one who came on strong. My apologies.” He tossed his keys in the air and they landed in his palm. “Enjoy your dinner.”

  He didn’t kiss her or touch her. Heck, he barely looked at her as he turned, headed for his rental with that long-legged stride, and disappeared. She already knew she wouldn’t see him tomorrow for that date they’d planned. In fact, she wondered if this was the last time she’d ever see him.

  Gosh, even that thought hurt.

  Fighting tears, she grabbed the grocery sacks and huddled against a sudden chill as she made her way to the bus stop.

  Thirty minutes later, Liam drawled a question that instantly got Seth’s back up. “So that’s it? A little competition made you decide to piss off back to New York?”

  On the trio’s sun-soaked patio, Seth pushed away from the table and stood so abruptly the iron chair clattered to the flagstone. Was the big Irish bastard listening to a word he said? He’d wasted ten damn minutes explaining what had happened between himself and Heavenly and why he should leave LA. He wasn’t jealous of her feelings for Beck; he simply had no reason to stay.

  Liam had a very different opinion.

  Seth ran his stiff fingers through his hair in frustration. Coming here after leaving Heavenly at the grocery store to spill his guts to his old friend had clearly been a mistake.

  On his way, he’d stopped at the club to pick up his bag. When he’d arrived at the trio’s house, he’d found Liam alone. He was sorry to have missed Hammer and Raine, but he was ready to get the hell out of this sunshine-laden, earthquake-riddled shithole. Familiarity, sanity, work, family during a white Christmas—that’s what he needed. Not doe-eyed blondes torqueing him up and turning him inside out.

  “I’m taking the red-eye home tonight.”

  Liam shook his head. “You realize if you go home now, mate, you’ll be leaving the door wide open for Beck to sweep in and claim Heavenly for himself.”

  “Yeah.” Impossible to miss that part. But by her own admission, she wanted Beck as a lover.

  Fuck, hearing that she had feelings for the shitsack stung. The fact he even cared pissed him off more. After all the things he’d whispered to her at Raine’s party… He bristled. Had she used his words to get herself hot for that fucking sadist?

  Liam still sat, peering up at him with a considering expression. Christ, the guy was doing that quiet thing again, like his clairvoyant mother. That worried Seth.

  “And what about the girl?” Liam demanded. “What about what she needs?”

  “Well, I guess Beck will give it to her.” That made him want to punch the doctor stupid.

  “I’m sure he’ll try. But I’ve seen you with Heavenly. Like I said, I think you belong with her.”

  “I thought so, too, but apparently not. I’m done letting a woman who fucking wants someone else yank my chain.”

  He dragged in a breath to find calm. The nagging pain in his chest made that impossible.

  “Didn’t you learn anything from watching what Hammer and I went through with Raine? You and Beck don’t need to brawl. And you don’t need to reinvent the wheel. You both saw firsthand how it was made. Macen and I will even tell you how to drive the bus.”

  Liam had lost his mind.

  “Ménage is totally out of the question.”

  The man’s skeptical brow and patience-of-Job sigh grated on Seth’s last nerve. “Because?”

  “Don’t play dumb. Heavenly is nothing like Raine. Your girl finished growing up in a BDSM club. She knew exactly what to expect. Heavenly might be a grown-ass woman, but she’s naive and unworldly and… She’s Bambi, for fuck’s sake.”

  “Why is that a problem?”

  “I already told you. Heavenly. Is. A. Virgin.”

  “All you and Beck have to do when you take her together is be gentle. The real problem is you two wankers. Figure your shit out and find out what she wants. What she needs. The answers might surprise you both.”

  Liam’s lilting voice usually soothed him. Tonight, the tone irritated him like fingernails on a blackboard.

  “That threesome you and I had was enough to scratch any itch I might have had for ménage. Besides, you know I don’t take on subs for more than a night or two. I’m not even sure why I’ve been lingering here. And I refuse to share air—much less a woman—with that snarky sadist. The two of us helping you and Hammer with Raine was one thing. That came easily.”

  “My point exactly.”

  What point was that? “But Heavenly? Not happening. In case you’ve missed the obvious, Beck and I fucking hate each other.” With every word he spewed, Seth felt his blood pressure shooting through the roof. Liam was one of his closest friends. Hell, like a brother. So why wasn’t he listening—or at least trying to understand? “You and Hammer worked it out because you had ten years of friendship and shared history to fall back on. Beck and I? Nothing but mutual loathing.”

  “You say that now, but it’s amazing how close two men can become when someone they care about more than themselves needs what they both have to give her.” The almost patronizing smirk on the man’s face made Seth itch to slap it off. “Despite what Raine went through with her father, surely you’ve seen she’s much happier now.”

  No denying that, but… “Not everyone is built for your kind of domestic bliss. Besides, I just wanted to fuck Heavenly, not get involved with her.”

  Liam’s mocking smile widened. “You’re a liar… You were far more interested in Heavenly than you’ve been in anyone since—”

  “Don’t go there. It doesn’t matter. Besides, Heavenly isn’t into BDSM. She probably doesn’t even know what it is.”

  “I’m confident you gentlemen are capable of showing her the ropes, so to speak.” Liam smirked. “And Raine will be around for advice if or when Heavenly needs it.”

  The tone and inflection of hi
s words—even and deliberate, as though they spoke of nothing more mundane than the weather—only made Seth angrier.

  “You’re not listening to me, goddamn it!”

  “I’ve heard every word you said,” Liam assured.

  Seth was done. He’d helped Liam when his friend had asked. Now that the Irishman had his life in order, Seth was out of here. He’d been hanging around for one reason, and she didn’t want him. She wanted the wolf in sheep’s clothing. Fine. Fuck it.

  He was gone.

  But Liam kept on yapping, like he was the guru with all the answers. “Now you listen to me. Get your shit together. You and Beck can both teach her as your relationship grows. The first thing you two have to do is figure out how to get on the same page. That can be tough. Believe me, I know. But it’s got to happen—”

  “Like fuck it does. I don’t want to slap balls with Beck. And I won’t let Heavenly twist me up anymore.”

  Finally, Liam’s dark eyes gleamed with some empathy. “You’re hurt and mad because she means something to you and you want to be enough for her. But you may have to accept that she needs you both.”

  Never in a million fucking years. “You know how to reach me if something else comes up or you want to shoot the shit, but that woman won’t be leading me around by the dick anymore.”

  Now the big man stood, advancing until they were toe to toe. Good, Seth was itching for a fight. He dragged in a breath and rolled his shoulders. He was mad at himself—and at the world in general. If Liam pushed him one more time, Seth would happily plant his fist in the man’s pretty pearly whites.

  “Let me get this straight…” Liam’s voice dropped to an incredulous growl. “That woman you’re accusing of intentionally leading you around by your cock is…how did you put it? Naive and unworldly. Yet she has enough wiles to manipulate an experienced Dominant like you? Please. I’ve watched you maneuver cunning subs for years and come out unscathed. So how in the ever-loving hell could a little virgin possibly wrap you around her finger? Is she an innocent babe or a manipulative bitch? You can’t have it both ways.”

  “You don’t get it,” Seth growled back.

  “Oh, I understand completely. The part I’m stuck on is why you’d blame her for your shit. When she gave you her honesty, you tucked your tail and ran. After all you’ve been through, I never thought you’d give up on someone you obviously have feelings for. If you ever want to be happy, I suggest getting over yourself, shelving your ego, and most of all, making peace with your past.”

  That was a low blow. “Back the fuck off, Liam. I mean it.”

  “Oh, I see. You expected me to empathize with poor you. You wanted me to pity your dilemma and validate your feelings.” He scoffed. “How about you grow a pair instead? When I called a few weeks ago to tell you about my troubles with Raine, isn’t that what you told me?”

  Yeah, he had. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

  “On the contrary. I’m saddened that the man I’ve always respected is behaving like a coward. You’re scared shitless to admit you want Heavenly in your life. That’s the biggest problem of all.”

  Red mist hazed his sight. It annoyed him even more that Liam wasn’t wrong. One more word and they’d come to blows. “Fuck you and fuck this bullshit. You don’t know—”

  “Of course I do. I was there, remember?” Silence enveloped both men for a heartbeat. “I know exactly what happened, why you’re the man—and the Dominant—you are now. Isn’t it time you stopped—”

  “Isn’t it time you stopped tossing my tough love back in my face?”

  “You didn’t die that day. Why don’t you start embracing the fact you’re still alive?”

  But Seth had heard more than enough. He shoved Liam back hard enough to send him crashing against the table. Without another word, he turned his back and headed for the front door.

  Liam still managed to cut him with his parting shot. “Nothing that happened was your fault, Seth. You’re wasting your second chance. Wake up and realize that before it’s too late.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Beck gripped a fresh mug of coffee, wishing for something stronger. It was almost five o’clock here in Vegas, and he was on vacation. He should be relaxing, damn it. Instead, he was fixated on Heavenly. What was she doing right now? He hoped like fuck she wasn’t naked and spreading her legs for Seth while he rutted on top of her. Would he come back from Christmas break and find out that Heavenly was no longer quite so innocent? If that happened, he’d have no one to blame but himself. He had chosen to keep his distance. Yes, for her own good, but now he was paying a steep price for tucking away his inner Dom and being a gentleman.

  Jesus, maybe he should find some booze…

  Beck stood, paced. Cursed. If Seth fucked and ran, he’d help Heavenly pick up the pieces—after he buried the bastard’s body.

  If Seth hadn’t yet touched her… Well, Beck was already wondering how much longer he could resist temptation when he craved her so desperately.

  Faint footsteps padding across the hardwood floors jerked him around to face Gloria. She stood in the doorway, looking sleepy and disheveled, her short red hair spiked in every direction. She squinted against the setting sun spilling through her west-facing windows. She had faint lines around her eyes that hadn’t been there a few years ago, but she didn’t look anywhere near fourteen years his senior. Then again, she never had. Gloria paid the best plastic surgeons to stay young. In her line of work, it was imperative. And she was a beautiful force to be reckoned with.

  “What time did you pull in? Why didn’t you wake me when you got here?” Gloria asked in a husky tone.

  Beck ate up the distance between them in two strides and wrapped his arms around the tiny dynamo. “About two hours ago.”

  “It’s really good to see you.” With a contented sigh, she brushed her lips across his cheek, then headed straight for the coffeepot. “I fucking hate mornings.”

  Thank god Gloria was still as saucy as ever.

  He laughed. “The sun is about to set.”

  “Well, it’s morning for me.”

  “Which is why I didn’t wake you when I let myself in. I figured you’d be working tonight. Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”

  “Merry Christmas back, you big, handsome stud. I’m glad you’re here.”

  “Me, too.” He pulled her close again and lowered his chin to the top of her head, inhaling her familiar scent. She felt like comfort and home, and he drank in the much-needed peace. “Grab a chair and I’ll pour you a cup of coffee.”

  “Spoiling me already?”

  “You spoiled me for years,” he pointed out with an arched brow as he filled her mug with steaming brew and handed it to her.

  As he sat across the table from her, she took a sip and moaned. The caffeine hit her system, and she pinned him with a dissecting stare. “So what’s going on in LA.? Out with it.”

  “Oh, the usual… Bloody arteries all day and bloody asses all night.”

  “Any bloody ass in particular caught your eye recently?”

  He had no idea how to explain a grown-ass sadist falling for a virgin. “Yes…and no. It’s complicated.”

  She took another drink from her mug. “Obviously. Or you would have talked to me when whoever she is started getting under your skin a few weeks back.”

  Of course Gloria knew. She’d always been able to read him.

  As Beck tried to figure out what to say, he was interrupted by a knock at the door. Gloria turned to the sound of keys jingling and hinges squeaking.

  “You up, baby?” a man called out.

  “In the kitchen.” Gloria’s eyes lit up as she stood.

  When Beck had met the man in her life last Christmas, he’d known immediately she might actually fall for this one.

  Buddy entered the kitchen, and she wrapped her arms around the fifty-something guy in jeans whose hair sported more salt than pepper. His beard matched. Gloria had always preferred men suave and flashy. Funny tha
t she’d finally lost her heart to a quiet, modest plumber. But they fit together perfectly.

  An almost teenage delight crossed her face before he kissed her lovingly. Beck found himself envying their closeness.

  Buddy lifted his head, arm still wrapped around Gloria. “Hey, Ken. How are you?”

  “Good, man.” Beck stood and extended his hand. “So you’re still dating my wife?”

  “Yep. Hope you’re all right with that.”

  “If you make Gloria happy, then hell yes.”

  “Which reminds me, Kenneth…” Gloria mocked, making Beck grimace. She only called him that when she was busting his balls. “Our eighteenth wedding anniversary was last month and what did I get? No flowers, no card. Not even a phone call. And never mind sex. You haven’t fucked my brains out in years.”

  He rolled his eyes. “If you want to start celebrating now, I’ll go pick some dandelions from the front yard while you bend over the kitchen table. That sound romantic?”

  She snorted. “No wonder you’ve been unattached for so long.”

  “Eighteen years?” Buddy sounded awed. “That’s longer than either of my marriages lasted.”

  “Because you kept marrying the wrong kind of whore, sugar.” Gloria winked. “Sit down. Want some coffee?”

  “As much as I’d like to stay, I can’t.” Buddy frowned. “A pipe at one of the restaurants inside Caesars burst. I just came by to tell you to have a good night at work. Be careful, baby.”

  “Always am.” Gloria hugged him tight and gave him another lingering kiss.

  With a crooked grin, Beck refilled his mug, damn glad to see Gloria happy. She’d had a hard life on the streets and on her back. She’d definitely earned some joy.

  Suddenly, Buddy’s phone rang, and he broke the kiss. “Gotta go. I love you.”

  “Love you, too. Call me later.”

  With a nod, he was gone. Gloria was still glowing when she sat at the table again.

  Beck reached across the surface and wrapped his hand around hers. “He’s a good man.”