The Choice
Page 25
“No. Come here, angel.” He pulled her into his big arms and held her to his solid chest, against his beating heart.
Suddenly, she felt warm and comforted. Safe. Desired. Almost whole.
Seth stroked her back, nuzzled her neck, inhaled her as he seemingly lost himself in the moment. “Don’t cry.”
“I’m mad at myself. I spent weeks at a loss to understand what happened, and now to hear that if I had chosen my words better—”
“If I had asked questions. If I had pressed you to explain. If I had thought before I reacted. If I had remembered you’re a virgin who maybe didn’t understand what I was trying to say.” He cupped her cheek and shook his head. “Don’t put all this on your own shoulders. What’s important is that we’re talking now.”
Nodding, she sniffled and backed away. “And I’m glad but…”
Heavenly feared finishing that sentence. The last time she’d been honest about her feelings for Beck, he’d ended everything between them. Granted, he said he understood now. But did he? Really?
“You’re dating Beck and you still have feelings for him? I know. But angel, I’m back and I want you more than ever.”
She met his stare, knowing he would see the apology all over her face for something she couldn’t help. “I’m getting that. And I’m shocked. In a good way…”
Clearly, she was going to have to choose between them. But…Seth and Beck were incredibly different men who made her feel very different things. Her Viking PI from the East made her melty and hot. He whispered words that made her head spin, even as he talked to her, bantered with her, not like the girl she often felt, but like the woman she wanted to be.
The witty doctor challenged her to think and to live, to be brave, even as he protected her, seemingly always hovering, a snarl ready to keep the beasts of reality away. One minute, he tried to grow her mind so she thought like his equal. The next she felt cosseted and nurtured.
They both made her yearn and crave them more than she knew how to resist. They both had a grip on her she didn’t know how to cure. How was she supposed to walk away from one?
“But you don’t know who you want,” he finished for her. “And you need time to make a choice.”
“Yes.”
“You need to know me better, because we haven’t spent enough time together for you to be sure we’re a fit.”
“That would help.”
“Take your time. You see, I’ve been around the block enough to realize we’re something special. But you haven’t, and me rushing you isn’t going to help anything. I came here to help Hammer…but I want to be with you. I want to see you. Date you. Kiss you. Take you to bed and fucking never let you go. And we can do all that while you figure out how you feel about Beck. I only ask you to focus on me when we’re together. He doesn’t belong between us. Understood?”
Heavenly blew out a breath. Wow, she hadn’t expected such a huge concession.
Could she even date two men? Heck, she’d never dated one. Both of these men were so self-assured, interesting, and obviously experienced. She was probably in over her head. Was she crazy to try? Maybe, but how was she ever supposed to get experience if she never got brave enough to put herself out there? YOLO and all that… Besides, it was dating, having fun…fooling around. They were just asking her to choose a boyfriend. It shouldn’t be this dramatic.
“You’re okay with that?” she asked.
“I’ve had seven weeks to come to this conclusion. You’ve had fifteen minutes. So I want you to think about it and let me know if you want to see me again.”
“I don’t have to think about that. I’m so happy you’re back. Of course I want to see you. I want to know what could happen between us.”
He leaned in, kissed her nose, and stood. “Then I’m here for you. Call me when you’re ready for the next step and we’ll take it together.”
Two days later, Beck pulled off the paved highway and onto the gravel road, sliding another lingering glance at Heavenly as she sat in the passenger’s seat of his Mercedes and peered out the window at the looming San Gabriel Mountains. “I love getting out of the city and coming up here.”
“It’s beautiful.”
“Not as beautiful as you.”
She dipped her head, gaze falling to her lap, but that didn’t hide the sweet blush rushing up her cheeks. He grinned, loving that a few whispered words always got to her—and that he always had a hint how she felt.
She’d worn exactly what he’d asked her to—yoga pants, a soft, comfortable T-shirt, and athletic shoes. She always looked gorgeous, but seeing her in clothes that hugged her curves shredded his libido. The second he laid eyes on her, dirty fantasies started unraveling in his brain and continued to wreak havoc the entire forty-five-minute drive. But it was her compliance and attention to his detail that stroked his Dominant beast.
“You come here a lot?”
“As often as I can.” He reached for her hand and twined their fingers together. “But I’m enjoying this trip so much more because you’re with me.”
She peered at him from beneath her lashes. “Then I’m glad you invited me today. We haven’t spent any time together in a while. Seeing you away from the hospital is nice.”
“I’ve been looking forward to this day for a long time.” Hell, he would have brought her here a month ago. He’d planned to shortly after their outing to the gallery. Then life had gone to hell.
“Why’s that?”
Because today, he would finally find out how much she trusted him. Today, if all went well, they’d take a big step forward. “You’ll see.”
Just being near her brought a big smile to his face, but he wanted more. He wanted to slam on the brakes and pull her onto his lap, crush her mouth beneath his, and swallow every kitten-soft moan. He wanted to imprint his mouth on hers. He wanted to kiss her so senseless she forgot Seth Cooper existed.
He knew the shithead had come back for Hammer’s sake, but Beck worried Seth intended to stay. Damn it, he was on the cusp of making Heavenly his. He didn’t need the PI returning like a bad case of herpes.
“But I have to admit I’ve been looking forward to staring at your sexy ass while we hike up the mountain.”
She looked surprised for a moment, then sent him a flirty smile. “Have you?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“So you’re taking me hiking? That’s the surprise? I’ve never been.”
“I’ve got something even more fun planned. We’re just hiking until we get there.” And Beck would bet she’d never done what he had in store for her.
“What is it?”
Because he couldn’t stop himself, he leaned in and inhaled her scent. “I’m not telling. Patience, little girl.”
“I haven’t asked in ten whole minutes.”
“And that’s five minutes longer than the time before, but anticipation is still rolling off you. By the way, you’re flirting with me.”
She sent him a ball-churning glance from beneath her lashes. “Do you mind?”
“Not one bit.”
Had she flirted with Seth, too? Wondering drove him batshit crazy.
Gripping the wheel tighter, Beck tried not to dwell on the competition, but he knew Heavenly had seen the bastard yesterday. He’d pulled Raine aside this morning when everyone gathered to figure out how the hell to keep Hammer out of prison now that he’d been arrested…and gotten some scoop about Heavenly’s reunion with Seth. When the raven-haired vixen admitted she’d actually invited the East Coast cock-hole over to see Heavenly, he’d called her a Judas. Not surprisingly, she’d rolled her eyes and assured him that she was an equal-opportunity matchmaker. Sneaky little wench…
Beck still wasn’t sure if Heavenly had welcomed the silver-tongued bastard back into her life or told him to go pound sand. He had only one way to find out…
“So I guess Seth is back in town.”
She nodded. “We talked yesterday.”
“You were pretty upset when he left la
st December. Did you…” fucking kiss and make up? “Work everything out?”
She withdrew her hand and looked away. “Yes.”
Beck gnashed his teeth as he pulled into the parking lot, came to a stop, and killed the engine. “Will you date him again?”
“He wants me to.”
Of course he does. Horny fucker… “What do you want?”
Heavenly didn’t answer him for what felt like a year. “I said yes. He’s promised me time to figure out how I feel and…”
When she bit her lip anxiously, Beck knew what she hesitated to say. “Who you want?”
She nodded. “Are you mad? Maybe you’re not. I know you consider us friends—”
“We’re more than friends, little girl. Let’s get that straight right now.”
“Oh.” The soft flush stole across her cheeks again. “I wasn’t sure. I thought I’d been too forward when I asked you to kiss me—”
“I only said no because I wanted our first kiss to be special. If I’d touched you then, I would have tossed you to the ground, climbed on top of you, and not given two shits about the hordes of kids watching.”
Heavenly jerked her stare to him, all wide-eyed. “You would not.”
“Wanna bet?”
“I haven’t been sure what to think since you said no. Then our date at the gallery seemed so sexual, but you didn’t touch me. And I haven’t seen you much since, so I wasn’t sure if…”
“I wanted you? I do. More than air.”
“Oh.” A smile crept slowly up her face. “Oh.”
“I’ve tried to hold back so I didn’t scare you.”
She tilted her chin and frowned. “I don’t think you could.”
His deep laugh filled the car. “Oh, I’m the man your mother warned you about.”
Her face closed up. “My mother never warned me about anything. I haven’t seen her in eight years.”
That might be the most personal thing she’d ever shared with him. Beck wanted to ask a thousand questions, but he’d probably have to answer a thousand in turn. Besides, talking family got them off topic.
“I’m sorry. Mine wasn’t around much, either. My point is, I tried to move at your pace, but if I’ve misjudged it, I’ll be more than happy to speed things up.” He flashed her a devilish grin.
“M-maybe a little.” Then that furrow appeared between her brows again. “But if I want to date him, too, will you stop seeing me?”
Was that why Seth had taken off, because he couldn’t handle the competition? Yeah. Why else would he promise her time now to figure it out?
Heavenly’s question had exposed her insecurity. On one hand, it helped because a Dom couldn’t guide a sub without knowing her strengths and weaknesses. On the other hand, it pissed him off that Seth had wounded her when he’d disappeared. So he squelched the jealous urge to make her choose and focused on implementing the last phase of his plan. If today went well, he’d hopefully leave Seth in the dust.
“Not a chance in hell. I won’t like it, but I won’t rush you to make up your mind.”
“Thanks.” She squeezed his hand and sent him a relieved smile. “I appreciate your patience.”
“Sure.” Beck wanted to growl that he’d been fucking patient, but he’d once told her he could be a patient man. Now he had to show her. “You ready for an adventure?”
“Yeah.”
The excited smile spreading over her face rivaled the sun. She was beauty, grace, and light. And for today, she was all his.
“Then let’s do this.”
When they climbed from the car, Beck grabbed his backpack and slid it over his shoulders, then wrapped an arm around Heavenly’s waist. As he led her up the uneven trail, they talked and laughed, stopping to rest in the shade and share the water and snacks he’d stashed.
Standing against a sturdy alder tree, Beck lifted a plump red grape to her lips. Their eyes locked. His heart revved and roared when Heavenly parted for him, biting the grape between her teeth. Barely containing a feral growl, he dragged his fingers over the soft texture of her lips as she bit down into the juicy morsel. He’d give anything to sink his teeth into the other half and devour her until they were a spent, sweating, panting tangle of arms and legs.
Not yet. Once he knew she trusted him, it was on. But until then, he had to dial it back. Maybe he’d already said too much, but instinct told him she would come through. That she belonged to him.
If she didn’t, it would gut him.
After the brief respite, he tucked the snacks away, tried not to wince at his pulsing erection, and hoisted the pack back over his shoulders.
As they continued their trek up the mountain, he pointed out a pair of whitetail deer.
“They’re so graceful and beautiful,” she whispered, her voice awe-filled. “Do you think we’ll see more?”
“Maybe. Keep your eyes open.”
As they got closer to their destination, they didn’t encounter more wildlife, just raucous laughter and high-pitched screams. Beck’s gut knotted with tension. In less than thirty minutes, he’d finally know if he had been pointlessly pining over Heavenly for the past three months…or whether they had a future.
“What’s going on over that hill? Sounds like a party.”
Beck squeezed her waist and drew her to a halt. “This is the other part of my surprise. You’ll find out over the rise.” He plucked a black satin blindfold from his pocket and dangled it from his finger. “How brave are you, little girl?”
Heavenly stared at the shiny scrap of fabric with wide eyes. “Y-you want to blindfold me?”
“I do.” For starters…
Heavenly swallowed tightly. “What if I trip or stumble over something?”
“I’ll be right beside you, holding on, just like I’ve been since we started up this trail.” He dragged a knuckle down her cheek. “I won’t let you fall.”
“I’ve never…”
“Worn a blindfold or let someone lead you through the wilderness?”
“Either.”
“Do you trust me?” he asked in a low, hoarse tone.
“Yes.”
She didn’t hesitate, and Beck felt a surge of something more potent than hope and stronger than lust. It wrapped around his heart and squeezed until he almost couldn’t breathe.
“Then show me.”
With trembling fingers, Heavenly took the blindfold from him and positioned it over her eyes. As soon as she settled it in place, she wobbled at the loss of sight and reached for him, instantly putting herself in his hands, seeking his guidance.
Electric thrill pinged inside him.
“Oh, wow… I’m disoriented,” she murmured.
Gently, he turned her to ensure the elastic at the back of her head was secure, then he bent close to her ear. “I’ve got you. Ready?”
Heavenly nodded, but her breath came at an uneven, nervous pace. Beck wrapped her tightly against his side. She gripped him and held on for dear life as he carefully directed her up the incline. As they crested the slope, he guided her onto the flat concrete surface. The people gathered turned and grinned as he led her forward. Some gave him a thumbs-up.
Hearing the commotion, Heavenly tensed and slowed, as if unsure.
“Easy,” he murmured. “You’re safe with me. I promise.”
“Where are we, Beck? The wind is really blowing.”
He dialed back the urge to pump his fist in the air. Like a well-seasoned submissive, she was relying on sound, scent, sensation—and him. Toying with a sweet sub’s senses was one of the many reasons he loved blindfolds.
Before he could answer, a woman let out an ear-piercing scream. The assembled group erupted in a collective cheer. Heavenly tensed and reached for the blindfold.
Beck gripped her wrists to stop her. “Trust me, just a minute more.”
“But that woman sounds terrified. What’s happening?”
He skimmed a soothing palm down her back. “She’s excited, but she’s fine. Everyone is. Do you s
till trust me?”
“I-I…”
The pulse point at the base of her neck thundered like a jackhammer. Adrenaline must be careening through every cell in her body.
“Heavenly?”
“Yes.” She finally nodded. “I’m nervous, but I trust you.”
In moments, he’d find out if that was true.
“I’ll take the blindfold off soon,” he promised. “But let’s get you some water first.”
Beck reached into his pack for fresh agua. She jumped slightly when he pressed the bottle to her lips, but he was pleased she didn’t try to hold it herself. Instead, she tipped her chin back and drank from his hand.
“Better?”
“Yes,” she said as she finished. “Thank you.”
“It’s time to get you set up for your surprise. Just relax. I promised to keep you safe, and I never break a promise. I’ll be right beside you the whole time.”
“What is it?”
“Just a little more patience…”
He led her under a massive beige awning and pulled her to a stop, then nodded to Chet, a familiar twenty-something guy wearing a logoed tank and carrying a clipboard. “We’re ready.”
“Excellent.” Chet smiled, and Beck raised a brow when his gaze lingered for a moment too long on Heavenly.
Then the guy was all business, and Beck spoke to her in gentle, soothing tones while Chet secured the full-body harness. Heavenly didn’t protest or ask questions. She simply jerked a few nervous nods in response to Beck’s queries. As he was strapped into a matching contraption, he caressed her arm and maintained the nonstop verbal reassurance.
After Chet snapped the last buckle in place and turned away, Beck pulled Heavenly to his chest. “When we were at the art gallery, you said you wanted to really experience life. Remember that?”
“Yes.”
“There aren’t many better ways than what we’re about to do…” He removed the blindfold, watching as she blinked against the bright rays of sunlight. “Welcome to the Bridge to Nowhere.”
She slapped a hand to her mouth. Her eyes flared saucer-wide as a teenage boy not three feet from them let out a war cry and leapt off the bridge. With a strangled gasp, Heavenly peered over the edge at the crinkled bungee cord and the tethered jumper.