The Choice

by Shayla Black

  Suddenly, Liam was behind her, fresh drink in each hand. When she turned to him, he held one out to her, which was lovely. She’d lost her other somewhere along the way.

  “You all right?” he asked, leading her a few steps from the group.

  “Um, yes. Fine. Thank you. Your home is really lovely. I appreciate you inviting me.”

  Liam studied her, and she couldn’t escape the feeling he saw straight through her. That he knew her secrets. Her heart stuttered.

  That must be her nerves talking. Everyone saw what they expected to see—a young nursing student, busy juggling studies, volunteering, and work. Right? Her problems were hers to bear alone, and none of these people, even the perceptive Irishman, had any reason to suspect otherwise.

  She hoped.

  Finally, he nodded. “It’s our pleasure. We’re glad you could join us.”

  Heavenly was relieved when Beck sidled over and took her hand, tenderly folding her against his side as he thanked Liam, who moved on to circulate around the growing party.

  “Stay close to me,” Beck murmured in her ear, then glared Seth’s way. “Lots of riffraff here tonight.”

  Across the yard, a band filed out onto the patio. As they set up, someone shouted that it was time to get this party started. Then tunes filled the air.

  The moment the upbeat notes lit up the crowd, Seth grabbed her hand and tugged her away from Beck. “Let’s dance.”

  She’d love to and she’d always wanted to, but… “I don’t know how.”

  He frowned as if that didn’t compute. “Not much to it, angel.”

  “Everyone will be watching.”

  “I’ll guide you. Just take my hand.”

  Anticipation tugged her one way, anxiety the other. But how could she live life if she never tried?

  Heavenly smiled Seth’s way and nodded. When he wrapped his arm around her waist, the jolt of his touch reverberated through her. But she didn’t have time to dwell on her spontaneous reaction to him. Seth twirled her under his arm, curled a hand around her waist, and led her through a familiar song about a girl asking a guy to call her maybe. They danced through the next catchy song about everyone getting together for a good time. Soon, she was laughing—and probably stumbling more than dancing, but gosh, she was having a blast.

  As soon as the up-tempo tune ended, a Jason Mraz ballad sounded through the speakers and covered the patio. Some left the floor. Seth merely pulled her closer and pressed himself against her.

  “Have you been thinking about our conversation the other day?”

  “Almost nonstop,” she admitted.

  “I’ve been waiting for you to call.”

  And she’d thought every day about picking up the phone. “I waitressed and studied most of the weekend with an…outing on Sunday.”

  His clenched jaw said he guessed she’d been with Beck and he wasn’t pleased. “Glad you got a day off.”

  Even when she’d unwittingly upset him, he was kind. “This week, the hospital has been busy and school has been tough. Now…we’re here.”

  “And now, you’re mine.”

  They moved together to the music. The burn of his fingers seared her everywhere his hands touched, yet she felt ethereal as he led her across the dance floor so effortlessly she would have sworn she floated. Everyone else faded into the background until she saw only Seth, until she got lost in his eyes. Just him and this moment that belonged to only them existed.

  She wasn’t even aware when they left the dance floor. One moment they were swaying together under the lights. The next he backed her against the wall and closed in, pressing palms flat on either side of her, his mouth mere inches away.

  “Christ, I can’t stand it anymore. I have to kiss you, angel. You going to let me?”

  She didn’t have to think. Couldn’t, really, except about how badly she wanted him to and had since he’d appeared in Raine’s living room last week. “Yes.”

  Heavenly barely had time to worry that she didn’t know the first thing about kissing before he cupped her nape, cradled her jaw in his wide hands, and swooped down to capture her mouth.

  Somehow, the kiss was soft—his lips, his touch—but his invasion was breath-stealingly direct. He didn’t bother flirting or teasing. He took. He conquered, doing it so gently and skillfully she surrendered without a second thought and opened willingly when he nudged her lips apart.

  He pressed in, sinking deep. His demand filled her head. If he hadn’t pinned her to the wall with his sinewy body, she would have crumpled to her knees before him. Oh, my goodness…

  Because she couldn’t stand not to, Heavenly clutched his shoulders and gasped. He swallowed the sound and moaned in turn. His fingers tightened, burning her through the thin fabric of her dress. He shuddered. The intimacy of his lips sliding against hers, of their audible breaths melding, made her head go hazy with pleasure. Hot need rolled like a thick drug through every artery and vein.

  Then Heavenly felt the urgent press of his tongue as it stroked, hot and thick, into her mouth. It felt like he was stealing into her soul, too. And still she couldn’t stop him. She didn’t want to. Each new sweep of his lips promised her the kind of ecstasy she’d only imagined—until now. She just wanted to stay suspended in this moment forever, where her troubles melted away, where she felt beautiful, where he shook her very existence.

  Between one kiss and the next, she inhaled him and pressed against his body restlessly, needing more. She wrapped her leg around one of his thighs until no space remained between them and whimpered.

  “Oh, angel…” He ground himself against her.

  His name rose on her lips, but Heavenly swallowed it when his kiss had her drowning in sensation once more.

  Seth’s touch skated down her body, then finally trailed down the small of her back. As he caressed his way even farther south, he enveloped nearly all of her derrière in one big hand. That shock was still rolling though her system when he growled, dragged her closer, and fit his edges against her curves. She felt overwhelmed, overpowered, overjoyed as he devoured her mouth with an urgency that was like catching fire. Something equally explosive rose within her.

  A split second later, he cupped her ass with both hands and tore his lips from hers to nuzzle her neck. The heady, dizzying, wild sensation was undoing her… Then he hoisted her against his body, notching his erection—definitely not an involuntary male response—onto her weeping sex, where she ached most.

  Heavenly curled her arms and legs around him, pressing closer as she labored for breath. “Seth… Please.”

  Suddenly, he groaned, then ripped himself away and set her on her feet, gripping the wall with taut fingers and breathing hard. His face was twisted with agony and self-restraint. “If I don’t let you go now, I will stop caring about anything except getting inside you.”

  His words detonated a bomb of need between her legs. “Oh.”

  Then he fisted her hair, his stare penetrating. “I want that. I want you. So bad you have no idea, but not against a goddamn wall with everyone around.”

  The night came rushing back to her. The lights, the music, the people. Suddenly, she was aware of them once more. She and Seth had never been alone. Anyone could have seen them…

  “That was hot,” Pike quipped as he stood a few feet away, clapping for their performance. “Don’t stop on my account.”

  River stood nearby, watching. He said nothing. He didn’t have to. That hint of a grin said it all.

  Embarrassment washed over her. She was so grateful when Seth tucked her behind him, blocking her from Pike’s view. As he faced the jerk, she gripped his arms, laid her hot cheek on his back, and absorbed his strength.

  “Why don’t you get fucked?” Seth snarled.

  “There’s no one else interesting here, and you two were putting on a hell of a show. You know I like to watch…”

  Ugh, why wouldn’t Pike just go away? He seemed like the kind of bully who enjoyed her discomfort.

  Heave
nly opened her eyes to give the butthead a piece of her mind. Instead, she found Beck mere feet away, his stare glued to her. Their gazes tangled, then locked. His expression had gone dark and ferocious.

  She didn’t have to ask; he’d seen everything.

  Heavenly closed her eyes. Would the earth please open up and swallow her whole? What had possessed her to lose her head so utterly in front of him? Yes, Seth had kissed her. Well, it had been way more than a kiss. He’d taken her, body and soul, without removing a stitch of her clothes.

  But Beck… What was he thinking now? That she didn’t care enough about him to not shove her attraction for Seth in his face? He’d promised her he wouldn’t interfere while she made her choice…but she hadn’t shown him the courtesy of keeping her feelings for another man to herself. Seth had even asked her if he could kiss her and she hadn’t hesitated. She’d just said yes and fallen into his arms.

  Was Beck angry? Did he hate her now? Probably.

  Tears stung her eyes. How could she have been so thoughtless?

  She sent him a look of apology, then squeezed Seth’s shoulders. “It’s okay. You don’t have to protect me. I think I’ll just go.”

  He turned to her, grabbing her hands in his. “No, not like this. You didn’t do anything wrong, angel.”

  How did she make him understand so he didn’t think she regretted their kiss? “I wish we’d had less of an audience.”

  Seth rolled his eyes. “Pike should have been named prick. Ignore him.”

  “I gathered, but…” She risked a glance over her shoulder. Beck still stared. “He’s not the only one.”

  Seth’s gaze followed hers and cursed. “I see. Come inside with me. We’ll talk—alone—for a minute or two. If you still want to go home after that, I’ll take you.”

  It wouldn’t be fair to kiss him and run away, and in all honesty, she didn’t want to let him go tonight. Her head might be telling her that she’d done something cringe-worthy. Her body panted that she should forget everyone and throw herself in Seth’s arms.

  Well, everyone except Beck. She already knew forgetting him was impossible.

  “All right,” she murmured.

  Soon, she’d talk to Beck and make it clear that she hadn’t meant to hurt him, that her feelings for Seth had nothing to do with her feelings for him and that…she was utterly confused.

  “Let’s go.” Seth tucked her under his arm and headed toward the house—until Beck stepped directly in their path.

  Her gaze skittered up to him again, face flaming, eyes filled with another silent apology as they approached.

  “Hold up a second.” Beck glared at Seth, teeth gritted.

  At her side, Seth tensed. “Make it quick.”

  Heavenly held her breath. Were they going to exchange words? Barbs? Punches? Tonight was supposed to be a celebration, not a brawl… “Don’t be angry. Please. I—”

  “I’m not, little girl.” Beck took her hand. “Don’t you beat yourself up. I told you last weekend that I’d give you the time and space to make your choice. You haven’t done anything wrong. We’ll talk more if you need to. All right?”

  She let out a huge breath of relief she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. Her heart lightened. A thousand things she wanted to say flitted through her head, but not here. Not in front of Seth. They had each promised to allow her to keep her romances with them separate, and she had to honor her part of the bargain until she made her decision. Saying more now would be compounding her error with another mistake.

  “Thank you.” She squeezed his hand. He could probably read every one of her feelings. For once, that didn’t make her uncomfortable.

  “I’m here if you need me,” Beck assured, then stepped out of her path.

  Heavenly felt his eyes on her every step of the way until Seth ushered her into a study and shut the door firmly behind them.

  From paradise to clusterfuck in two-point-two seconds.

  As Seth led Heavenly away from the shit show and into Hammer’s study, he shut the door and tried to put a lid on his worries. He’d left her once for a misunderstanding. He wasn’t about to make the same mistake twice. But damn if her crushing guilt about Beck seeing their kiss wasn’t like a knife to the chest.

  She sat on the far edge of the sofa, head bowed, hands folded in her lap. He knew her laugh, her smile, her smell, her kiss. But he had no idea what she was thinking right now and that was fucking him up. “Heavenly, look at me.”

  For a long moment, she hesitated, and he wondered if she’d comply or just bolt out the door. He waited, breath held, until her gaze finally climbed up to his. She bit her lip, looking so unsure and nervous it tore at him. Goddamn it. He’d been a cop. He’d learned how to interrogate early and from the best. Getting inside her head shouldn’t be much different—if he could keep his own in check.

  “Good.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Talk to me, angel. Tell me how you feel.”

  A furrow appeared between her brows. “Confused. Overwhelmed. I don’t…” She shook her head as tears pooled in her eyes again. “I don’t know how to answer you.”

  “You don’t know how you feel?”

  She shook her head. “I’m just not sure how to explain. I’ve never had anyone to talk to about my feelings. Sorry if I’m not doing it right. I’m learning as I go.”

  “Never?” No parents? No giggling girlfriends? He already knew she’d never had a boyfriend, which still shocked the hell out of him. She lived in a new city and hadn’t made many friends…

  Her words hit him with a TKO of reality. He’d never been involved with a woman who had so little experience, not only in bed but in life. Emotionally, Heavenly wasn’t a woman yet. She didn’t know how to please—or even understand—herself, much less a man. She knew nothing about the subtleties of relationships or communication. On some level, he’d understood that, but tonight… Huge wake-up call. He didn’t need to simply calm her now; he needed to understand her. Coax her into opening up. If he didn’t do that, if he didn’t take control and assure her he was committed to whatever they could have, it might be over—not because she didn’t want it. Because she had no idea how to work with him to make that a reality.

  “No,” she breathed. “So when you want me to tell you how I feel, I don’t know if you want to hear how the kiss affected me…or all the stuff after. Do you need to hear how I felt when you touched me or should I explain why I’m embarrassed? I really don’t get what you want.”

  “Let’s separate what happened outside into two categories. We’ll work backward. You’re embarrassed. Because a few people saw me kiss you? Or simply because Beck saw?”

  That had her looking down again. “Mostly because Beck saw. Pike is annoying—”

  “I’ll deal with him.”

  “But I never want to hurt anyone, especially someone who’s been as wonderful to me as Beck. I also don’t want you to think I regret kissing you. I wish the time and place had been different.” Surprisingly, she lifted her chin and locked stares with him. “But you gave me a first kiss that surpassed anything I’d imagined.”

  He cupped her crown and tangled his fingers in her hair, tugging just enough to ensure she kept eye contact. “Did Beck’s reassurance make you feel better?”

  “Somewhat.” She sighed. “I know that can’t have been easy for him. I wish I’d known something better to say.”

  Beck had looked as if he’d rather chew glass than swallow down his own jealousy so soon after watching someone else kiss the hell out of Heavenly. But he actually respected the doctor for putting her well-being above his own. In Beck’s shoes, he would have tried to do the same.

  “It’s entirely possible I’ll have to see him kiss you someday. Will I like it? No. But we’re big boys. We’ll deal with our feelings. They aren’t your responsibility. Don’t guilt yourself over them.”

  As much as it sucked, he’d spoken the truth. Until she made up her mind, he and Beck would simply have to deal. But her re
action to the doctor made it blatantly clear she carried a torch for him. The kiss proved to Seth that she definitely had feelings for him, too. Where the fuck did that leave them?

  What would it take for her to finally make a choice?

  “So you understand Beck will handle his own feelings?”

  She nodded.

  “You understand River’s opinion doesn’t matter? And Pike can pound sand?”

  A little smile crept across her face. “I hope he does.”

  “Your responsibility going forward is to focus on your feelings about you and me and to share them with me. I need you to do that.”

  “Okay.” She nodded softly. “I will.”

  “Good.” He nodded. “Now that we’ve talked about what happened afterward, let’s talk about the kiss itself. You said you don’t regret it.”

  “Not for an instant.” A pretty pink blush flared across her cheeks. “I loved it.”

  He couldn’t keep the satisfied male grin off his face as he sat beside her and scooped her into his lap. “I have to tell you, that was the best first kiss ever.”

  Surprise transformed her face. “Really?”

  Did she think all first kisses were hot enough to set the house on fire? Maybe. It wasn’t as if she had anything to measure it against… “Really. Maybe you felt how hard I was for you?”

  The pink on her face turned utterly red. “It was…um, difficult to miss.”

  He laughed. “Definitely hard, all right.”

  Heavenly pressed her lips together. “Sometimes I don’t know whether you mean to embarrass me or just tease me.”

  “Never embarrass you. But tease you… Yeah, I’m guilty. I love to see you blush.” He skimmed his lips over the shell of her ear. “You’re beautiful, and I enjoy getting to you. When I’m with you, I feel more alive than I have in years.”

  She blinked at him. “I haven’t done anything.”

  “You’ve been yourself. That’s all I need.”

  Seth cupped her jaw, swept his thumb across her cheek, then leaned in. She met him halfway, eyes closed, breath held, lips soft. Christ, she was picture-perfect innocence, so sweet and trusting. He couldn’t help himself.