Music of the Soul 1, 2, & 3 Starter Bundle

by Erik Schubach

  “And she started dancing to express her emotions, your music gave her that drive. She said your words were like you were speaking directly to her heart, reading what was inside. It never ceases to amaze me when I watch her dance, she 'feels' the music in a way I know I'll never be able to. I'm jealous really. Gradually her voice took on its own life. It is almost like she is singing her words, it is so melodic, as you said.” she took one more deep breath.

  “One day mom asked me to come to the school, to that damn locked sound-room. That Ana wanted to share something with me.” she smiled at this, I could tell she was savoring a precious memory, the tears were gone. “I walked into that room alone, my sister, not the empty shell, but my sister, was beaming at me as she sat down at the piano and played for me. Just me.” her eyes were glittering.

  “The music was so haunting and beautiful, and then she opened her mouth, and it was like something sent straight from the heavens. She sang her favorite song of yours, for me. It was so unbelievable, I couldn't move, couldn't do anything but listen to the music Ana was making... the pureness, the soulfulness, and I cried.” She smiled even bigger, her face full of pride.

  “Then Ana said the seven words I still treasure to this day 'Sorry I've been away so long sis.' that's when I knew I had my baby sister back, one of the best people I have ever known.”

  I was unmoving, crying now, and Zoey was trying to dab away my tears with a napkin. Sarina then said to nobody in particular, like she was whispering it into the air “She stopped singing the day mom died, I hope she sings again some day, I truly miss it.”

  We both took a deep breath and cleared our heads as we saw Anabella coming back. I smiled at Sarina as she slid back to her side after her sister sat down. I shared a silent thank you with my eyes to Sarina, for sharing such a personal thing with me.

  Anabella looked between the two of us, “Hope you weren't talking about me.” she giggled nervously. I responded, “As a matter of fact, yes we were.” I looked at her with admiration and something else I still couldn't quite bring myself to admit to.

  “All good I hope?” she teased me with her eyes. Sarina laughed, then said and signed, “No, I was just telling Mandy about how you thought you were potty training yourself in mom's flower garden when you were little. We laughed till we cried.” Anabella's eyes shot open in mock horror, “You didn't! Rumors! Speculation I say!” then we all shared a warm laugh. Then we ate our ice cream in relative silence, just basking in the camaraderie.

  I was digging in my purse for my wallet when two hands stopped me. The two sisters removed their hands and were smiling with mirth in their eyes. Sarina winked, “It's good to be married to the owner, free meals to the family... which by the way, now includes you.” Witches I say! They try to corrupt me! Wait, too late.

  Dave materialized as if from nowhere as we got up to leave, kissing his lovely ladies and handing a squirming Eve back to Sarina. Finishing up by giving both Anabella and I warm hugs, “You are welcome to drop on in any time Mandy, and your money is no good here.” then he flashed me a dazzling smile. I could see why Sarina hooked up with the man. I found myself saying, “Thanks Ham.” and we all laughed.

  It was then that I decided I would share my secret with them. I couldn't believe I was about to do that, but it is mine to share, even though I promised myself I wouldn't. I just met them but I felt such a strong attachment to them, something I can't even remember, it almost felt like -- family? “Well ladies, since I got you for the day, you feel like helping me buy some supplies for my new house? There is somebody there I want you to meet.” God I was terrified.

  Sarina gave me a thoughtful look, eyes still glittering with mischief, “I would simply love to, but unlike some people today, we won't say Ana's name, some of us have to get to work today. So if you two don't mind hanging out together, I'll just get these little stinkers back home to the babysitter, and start earning my way in the salt mines. And Mandy, I truly hope to see you around more, and I'm exited to meet this mystery person.”

  She gave me the warmest hug, conveying the sincerity of her words, then kissed her sister on the cheek as Zoey gave me a sneak attack hug from below, “Bye Mandy, bye Auntie Ana.” I wasn't even noticing the signing anymore, it was already becoming common place to me in this short period of time. I waved to the girls as Anabella called out, “Bye my little ladybug! See ya Sar!” with that big beaming, reserved only for Zoey, smile.

  Suddenly I was standing alone with this gorgeous girl, whose crystal eyes were threatening to swallow me whole, “Shall we?” I offered my arm like a scene out of a cheesy movie, with a smile. Bella played along and gently grabbed my arm, “We shall!” happily walking by my side to my car. I felt the heat of her hands and caught a hint of strawberry that I think could become quite addictive, quite quickly. I had to be careful, I could easily fall for this woman.

  Chapter 3 – Secrets

  I don't think I had ever had so much fun just shopping for cleaning supplies and groceries. Bella had kept me smiling and laughing the whole time. It's amazing what I don't know about taking care of a house, after living on the road for my entire adult life. Bella had taken it on, as her sacred duty to the crown, to get me sorted out. I'm still wondering which crown she was talking about. Don't we have, like, a president or some other nonsense like that?

  “No, you don't use window cleaner for your counter-tops, M. What am I going to do with you?” She shook her head in mock futility. Damn, there's that head tilted grin again! I can fight back, I have my own stockpile of weapons! I crinkled my nose and stuck out my tongue. Take that evil temptress! Wait, did she just blush?

  I can't even remember if my father ever bought proper cleaning supplies. I used to wipe everything down in the house with damp dish rags. I don't think he ever lifted a finger to clean anything. He was either always at work before he lost his job, at the bar, or lounging on the couch with a beer in his hand.

  I came back to Earth with a hand waving in front of my face and a sing song voice guiding the way to a soft landing. “Hey M? You in there? Hamster fall off the wheel?” Have I mentioned that I like it when she calls me M? “Yeah sorry Bella, I was just thinking back to my childhood a bit.” Why do I find it so easy telling the truth to her?

  “Anything you care to share?” she softly asked. I shot a smile back, “Nah, just marveling at how helpless I am as an adult and how lucky I am to have you here today, teaching me things that should just be common sense. Might just have to keep you around.”

  At that, we both blushed. Why are we blushing? I don't blush! Okay fine, that's apparently a lie says the blushing rocker. To break the moment I didn't want broken I said, “Okay, this should about do it. Ready to stock the larder at castle Harris?” She snickered back with “Lead the way your majesty”, as we headed for the registers.

  Just to be stopped by a nondescript middle aged woman and her teenaged girl who almost squealed while thrusting some paper and a pen at me, her mother holding a second piece of paper looking expectantly, “Mandy Harris! It really is you! Can I get your autograph? Ohmygod my friends will never believe this.” This annoyed me for a few reasons. First off, they were interrupting my Bella time. Secondly, they just expect me to do it even though they are interrupting my personal time, I mean my God people, I'm shopping here! Like I don't have any expectation of privacy.

  I know they are fans, and I truly do appreciate that fact, but I still wish they would think about simple courtesy before they act. And third, it brings up the fact that the more people that recognize me here, the faster the press is going to find out where I have gone to ground. Making it that much more likely that I won't be able to protect my secret much longer. That scares me.

  I smiled politely to them, “Of course!” and I quickly scribbled out my signature on their papers. Then they were gone without thanks, jabbering over the autographs to each other. That's typically how it goes, no please, no thank you, just take what they need from me then leave. A gentle touch on my
shoulder brought me out of my thoughts. Bella was looking at me sympathetically like she knew what was going through my head, “Sorry M.”

  The pimple faced, scarecrow looking young clerk at the register waved a greeting of familiarity at Bella, then saw me but had the self control to not say anything when he recognized me. I appreciated that and rewarded him with an appreciative smile. He smiled back and redoubled his efforts in scanning and bagging our items.

  As I took my receipt, a skinny little girl and boy, around five years old, in really worn out clothes, came running to our register, “Hi Miss West!” they chimed and Bella shot them a stunning smile that would have knocked me back thirty feet if it had been aimed at me. “Why hello there my little troopers! Are you having fun shopping with your mother?” she asked giving them hugs. A rough looking, slightly plump blonde woman, in equally worn out clothing rolled her cart up “Hello Anabella, it's nice to see you here.”

  Bella smiled at her, “It's good to see you and the twins Marjorie. Will I see you at the shelter next week? Oh where are my manners? Marjorie, this is my friend Mandy.” The woman smiled and shook my hand, then turned back to Anabella. “Maybe, but you know how Robert doesn't like taking charity. You saw how bad he reacted when you got us into this food assistance program for the kids.” indicating their shopping cart.

  Bella looked at her sternly, “Don't make me hunt you down and drag you there! The nights are getting colder, and that rusty car of yours is no place for the children to be sleeping. Children are much more important than that! Pride be damned! Promise me.” The woman shook her head mumbling “Anabella.” Bella stepped closer with a pleading look and genuine concern on her face, “Promise me for the children.” Marjorie sighed, “Okay, I promise. We will see you there.”

  Bella spun and quickly grabbed a couple candy bars with peanuts from the rack at the register and paid the young scarecrow. Then bent down, handing the candy to the children, who took them with saucer sized eyes, thanking her enthusiastically.

  The two women hugged and Anabella said, “See you later Marjorie, and remember, you promised! Goodbye little troopers!” They said their goodbyes and we were pushing our cart out to the car.

  I was just watching Bella, it seems that everyone around here knows her. Her concern for those children and the way she fawns over her nieces made me smile in wonder, over how protective she was with children. We loaded the car and she scooted off, riding the cart like a push scooter to the cart corral.

  On the short ride home, I found it hard to breathe, panic was slowly rising. I was about to show this magnificent girl something, someone, that I promised I would never do. But her smile urged me on, her eyes helping to alleviate the anxiety. Almost, as if on cue, she rested a hand gently on mine, which was trembling on the steering wheel, calming me instantly with a whispered, “Hey M, everything's going to be okay.”

  We pulled into the driveway of my small two story, three bedroom house, across from the cutest little playground with brightly colored play equipment in it. I glanced over to Bella to see her eyes widen, looking at the house and the little park. Though her eyes and smile did not betray her thoughts. I interjected, “Not what you were expecting from a millionaire rocker, huh?”

  I saw the mischief twinkling in the oceans of blue. I'm glad I was sitting otherwise my knees would have buckled. With an air of wonder she said, “Actually, I think this suits you best, M. I don't see you much as the person you pretend to be. I don't think many people take the time to find out about the person behind the music. Nor do they listen to the words of the songs. The person that wrote 'Throw-Away' is not a person who could feel comfortable in a cold, unfeeling mansion. The time I've spent with you today just reinforces my opinion.”

  I sucked in a breath like it was the last one I'd ever get. That was the song that I sung at that award ceremony years back, the one Sarina spoke of. The record label refused to pick up the option on the song because it didn't 'fit' the template of the image they were crafting for me.

  That was the one and only time that song has been heard in public. And here's this redheaded beauty, invoking its name, knowing it is a puzzle piece to who I truly am. I'd cry foul if I weren't lost in her gaze -- again. I wonder just how much she knows about me, and if it is possible that she may know more than I do myself.

  “Alright, you prairie harpy, let's get this boat unloaded!” I mock commanded. She didn't miss a beat, nor a TV reference, “Aye Cap'n Reynolds!” We grabbed the bags and marched toward the front door on the arching brick path. It felt more like a death march, as I felt the panic bubbling back toward the surface. It was hard to breathe and my hands were sweaty and shaky.

  We entered the door and marched through the living room to the kitchen to unburden ourselves. Putting the bags on the counter, then going through the process of stowing them in the nearly empty oak cabinets and stainless steel fridge. Stealing glances and smiles as we went.

  Then I turned to Anabella, and with a deep breath, scrambling for courage, “I'd like for you to meet someone. That is, if you want to.”

  I could see with the concern in her eyes, and the gentle smile on her lips, that she understood how important this was to me, and how difficult it was for me, to let someone in enough to share my secret. She simply nodded and I took her hand, leading her up the stairs, to the second door and pushed it carefully open.

  The young woman in the chair sat burping the beautiful baby girl on her shoulder, and offered us a huge smile, speaking to the baby, “Look princess, mommy is here.” She stood and passed my child to me. My joy. My life. My June.

  “Thank you Tammy, you can go for the day, I'll see you in the morning.” I said pleasantly. “It was my pleasure Miss Harris, ummm... sorry, Mandy. See you tomorrow!” the nanny bubbled. I heard her say, “Nice to meet you.” to Anabella as she passed by.

  I was afraid to turn and meet Bella's eyes. I couldn't handle it if I saw disapproval in them. I took a deep breath and smiled as I turned, building the courage to look her in the face, “Bella, I'd like for you to meet my reason for being. This is my daughter, June Elizabeth Harris.” I let my eyes rise to met her gaze.

  There was nothing but joy in her eyes as Bella was captivated by my daughter. “My God, she's beautiful,” she whispered and tentatively reached out. “May I?” There was no shock, no disapproval.

  I felt myself visibly relax, exhaling as I realized I hadn't taken a breath in some time. I inhaled again as I handed my daughter over to my second favorite person in the world. Where do these thoughts keep coming from?

  I watched in wonder as Bella sat in the chair playing with my shining star. The giggling between them sounded like music to me. “Well hello June. You must be named after your grandma.” How did she know that? June was my mother's name and it just felt, right, to name my daughter after her. Is there anything she doesn't know about me?

  “I can't decide who is prettier Squirt, you or your mama.” Prettier? Melting! Shit, falling for her, man your battle stations! Well, man them after I'm done melting of course. She glanced up to me with a heart mending smile, before returning in earnest to her important round of 'This little piggy' with June's tiny toes. Just reinforcing my opinion of her love for children.

  I found it endearing that she comes up with fitting nicknames for everyone she knows. June may be saddled with Squirt for a long time. I'll have to remember to make a note to apologize for it later, when she's in therapy in her teens.

  I was content to silently watch my two favorite people play until June couldn't keep her eyes open much longer. Bella carefully stood and deposited the sleepy bundle in my waiting arms. After laying her down in her crib with a soft farm animal print blanket, I signed 'thank you' to Bella who smiled, and we quietly sneaked out, then it was down to the kitchen to figure out my two cup coffee maker, and chat.

  “You are an amazing person you know that, Bella,” I said with a smile playing across my lips. She raised an eyebrow. “It's my sandals right? I mean, they ar
e pretty awesome.” We shared a smile, “I was so afraid you would judge me for being a single mother. For abandoning my career so I could be close to her.” I got the coffee started. Ha! Take that you ungodly complicated coffee machine with your two glowing, mocking buttons!

  “Why would I ever judge you for bringing such a beautiful gift into this world? Or for holding her above all of that artificial crap you've had to put up with throughout your career? No, this is what is important. Love is what is important. Love trumps fame.” Wow, could she be any more perfect? It's like my life was an open book to her. We stood for a couple minutes, just allowing me to relax, pouring our coffee and sitting at the bar stools by the counter.

  She reached out with one hand, intertwining our fingers as she sipped her coffee. Looking over the rim of the cup, carefully measuring me. “Would you like to talk about it? I'm a good listener.” She smiled at her own joke. Too cute. She has the innate ability to put me at ease.

  I looked at her nervously. I'm not sure when the last time I shared private things on such serious topics was. Or if I ever have. Damn her and her hypnotic eyes! I took a breath, opened my mouth, almost started but stopped myself as an idea came to me. I must have looked pretty stupid because she shot a questioning glance. I finally started speaking, “Why don't we play the question game?”

  “What do you mean?” she arched an eyebrow. I was all proud of myself for this, I'd be able to learn more about the owner of those radiant blues. “It's really simple, we take turns asking each other questions, there are just three rules.” She looked intrigued as I continued, “One: you have to answer truthfully. Two: anything said stays strictly between us, like our sacred secrets. Three: the game is only over when we both agree it is.” There was no mistaking the apprehension in her eyes as she started fidgeting with her bracelets again.