Music of the Soul 1, 2, & 3 Starter Bundle

by Erik Schubach

  “You got it, Mandy. It's nice to see you engaged in the world again.” he said softly. I slowed down my frantic cadence and leaned forward on the couch. “Thanks for everything, Frank, even though I've been so self destructive, you've always had my back. I just want you to know that I've always seen it. I'm off to phase two. Good luck with the girls, they are a handful.” I truly did appreciate Frank, he had always made sure that all my dealings were in my best interest even when Terry didn't.

  He voiced his goodbye and I took a deep breath. Wooo, go me! I stood and walked to the little table in the kitchen wall that I had promoted to a makeshift desk a couple weeks back, and grabbed a rubber-band ball off of it. I turned and leaned my hip against the table and chucked the ball at the driver's door partition with a satisfactory thunk, and caught the rebound.

  Almost immediately, Darryl opened the door and I chucked the ball at him. “Ow!” he feigned mortal injury. I shook my head and crossed my arms, “You big baby! Okay, Mr Big Ears, I know you're always listening. You know the score. Can you track down Nick double-time? I got an important voice-mail to listen to in...” I checked the time on my phone “Twenty three minutes. Chop chop! Don't make me rubber band ball you again.”

  His eyes went wide in mock fear and rubbed his “injury” from my previous rubber band assault. Then he shut the partition door looking quite amused. “Aye aye sir,” he called out as I heard him exit the bus. I couldn't help but be amused by his antics.

  I realized I was alone for a minute and my facade dropped. I breathed raggedly for a minute, I'm scared to death about the success of this. I can't let anything happen to the mentor I considered family, this was too important for failure. One more deep breath and I was Okay. Just in time for the bus door to fling open and Nick to walk in, well almost stumbled in being rushed by Darryl, who stayed outside and closed the door behind Nick.

  Before he could say anything, I turned to the side and grabbed some plastic salad tongs from a drawer in the kitchenette and advanced while I started poking his chest with them. “Okay publicist-y dude, talk! Is there like, a nest of your kind, brooding in the Vancouver Underground that can promote a business?” Let the Spanish Inquisition begin!

  He looked equal parts confused and amused and opened his mouth to speak, holding his arms up in surrender, but I cut him short “Ut, ut, ut ..The correct answer here is either 'yes', or 'yes, Mandy'.” He laughed at me with a twinkle in his eye under his silly mop of hair. “What in the hell has gotten into you, and what the hell are you babbling about?” He muttered comically to the ceiling “Please don't say aliens, don't say aliens.”

  I eyeballed him, raising an eyebrow. “Weeeell. I have a friend back in Vancouver who's little music school is failing. They are about to receive a mysterious infusion of cash. But they will need to increase their clientele to turn things around.” I started walking around him as I spoke, salad tongs at the ready, he followed me with his eyes.

  “The way I figure it, all you publicists have like a secret club where you go to like, trade blood and stuff, so you gotta all know each other. I was wonderin' if you knew one of your clan that can handle promotion for a Vancouver music business. They can tout alumni like that Mandy Fay Harris chick I've heard about.” I wound up in front of him again, my eyebrows wiggling.

  He was definitely amused as he replied, “Well first off I resent the club and clan references, we prefer coven. Secondly, I can definitely put out some feelers. I used to promote sales for a record label or two before I got into celebrity promotions, so I ran in those circles and I know where to get started finding a match. Third, you have a friend? I thought I was your only friend.” He grinned like an idiot. I should stab him with my tongs for that grin. I stabbed him with the tongs.

  “Welcome to Operation Save Harmony, Nick.” Then an idea hit me. “Ummm, Nickki. We only have a few days left on tour, then I'm done for good. That makes you kinda jobless. You line up any other psycho shut-in rockers to work with yet? Or would you like spearheading the project yourself, until you land another nutcase?” I tilted my head and looked at him crossways between the tongs.

  I stopped joking, dropping my arm to my side and went deadpan. “Seriously.” He stood there deep in thought, giving it hard contemplation, finally lowering his arms. “You know, you have treated me well during this tour. In all seriousness, I admire the fierceness and loyalty you demonstrate toward the people around you.” Then he smiled mischievously as I started shining the salad tongs with my sleeve as he continued, “Even if you never listen and are a pain in the ass. So, why not? Plus I could use it as an opportunity to scout out the next you at that music school.”

  I give him a soft smile and offered my free hand for him to shake to seal the deal. He accepted it then I said “Then welcome aboard... again.” I started poking him with my tongs suddenly. “Now out with you! Be gone! I'll speak with you more after I hear from Vancouver.” He raised his hands in surrender again trying to avoid the poking as he marched out the door and closed it behind him. I took a step and dropped the tongs in the sink. Ewwww icky publicist germs!

  I was contemplating the situation when the phone rang and Sarina's daily voice-mail came in, and I of course deleted it. Just five minutes to go. Right on schedule the phone rang again, when voice-mail flashed I hit play “Okay you weirdo, June's doing great since we spoke an hour ago. Talk to you in an hour.” Then she blew a raspberry. I smiled.

  I know it sounds stupid, but I felt more relaxed after the call, and I noticed that I did. This kind of freaked me out, and I believe I'll need some serious therapy in the future. But I really did feel more at ease after the call. I collapsed onto the couch with my notebook and sat leisurely practicing my finger spelling, calming myself even farther. At the end of the hour, I grabbed the phone and made the call.

  “Hi Tams, so, how did it go?” I ask calmly hoping for the best, twirling a finger in my hair. Her voice was equally calm and steady. “She didn't like it. But she invoked the 'daughter she never had' clause and reluctantly agreed to it. You really are an amazing person, Mandy.”

  Suddenly I was fighting back happy tears, Mrs. W was going to be fine now. I tried to speak without my voice wavering, she didn't need to know I was starting to cry. “It is the very least I can do. I hope you realize how much I appreciate you, Tammy. You are my savior, keeping my most precious bundle of love safe. You put up with so much from me. I see nothing but good things for you in the future.”

  I really felt what I was saying to her, she had that strange feeling of family about her too. As foreign as the concept of family was to me.

  We finished the call with me sharing contact information for Frank and Nick. I even got in another minute with June. God, I miss her so much.

  It was eerie, after all that action, I sat snacking on cheese on the couch in the silent bus just breathing and practicing my finger spelling. I hope all my girls will be okay. Damn this emotional roller coaster.

  Before too long, it was time to prepare for the concert. I went through my routine. Dress, check, lanyard, check, music, check. I waded through the crowd with security into the bustling venue. Then I was off in search of my single daisy in a blue vase in my dressing room. Ahh, there it is, check.

  After the five minute warning, I wandered out, dodging stagehands and getting my earpiece. It sounded loud out there already.

  The lights went down and I marched out onstage to a capacity crowd again. After opening with 'Oceans of Blue', the crowd singing along. I had to wait a long time for the cheers to fade before being able to address the crowd. Those people were amazing. It made me feel calm as I spoke, “You know what, everyone? I'm feeling a little melancholy tonight, why don't we slow things down a bit? I'm all for mixing things up on this tour, that's what it is all about. Let's try something new.”

  The crowd was murmuring excitedly, I could see them turning to each other to discuss what might be going on. I stood and looked back to the band, walking over and dragging a second microp
hone over to my speaker. “Hey guys, come join me over here. Have a seat.” They came to sat down on the stage floor by me and I adjusted the mic down for them. Looking at their questioning faces “Just lend me some backup guys.”

  I looked back to the crowd who were looking on in earnest. “We're going pure acoustic tonight folks. Join in if you know the chorus.” I sat on my speaker. Then I closed my eyes and started 'Brown Eyes' at a slower tempo, with my band's voices lending an easy harmony from time to time. Whenever the chorus kicked in, the crowd joined in. The slower tempo and mass of voices made it an almost surreal harmony.

  It was a raw, almost an ethereal experience for me, and I hope for the fans too. I soaked in the ambiance and reflected it back out to the universe. It just felt right and I let it carry me on its current. I had to cover my ears as we finished, I opened my eyes to the roar of the crowd so loud it actually hurt my ears. My band was all grins and that added to my experience. Hmmm... experience. I was experiencing the music with the crowd, not just singing to them. I liked the warm feeling I got from that thought.

  The rest of the night went that way, us just huddled around my speaker, in communion with the crowd, I caught myself just watching them swaying en mass to the music at times. Sometimes we went acoustic, sometime a cappella, slowing down each song. Then it was over seemingly almost before it began. We thanked the crowd, the lights went out and I just sat there as everyone left, just sitting on my speaker watching people flow out of the venue.

  I felt almost at peace with myself tonight. I smiled at small groups of fans that had sat and watched vigil over me as I just watched the exodus. Then watched as security and cleanup crews ushered them out. I liked the peacefulness that following hour, just watching as the crews finished their cleanup and watched them filter out. I really wasn't thinking about anything at all during that time.

  When I finally had the place to myself I grabbed my guitar played another song, just for me, while I cried for no reason. This was a stressful day with a bunch of happy endings. I placed my guitar in its stand and wandered out the deserted corridor with a single security guard to the back door. He opened the door and we stepped into the darkness and made our way toward the bus. I saw some people walking by the almost abandoned barricades, and one spoke to another “She's that Anabella's girlfriend.”

  I just stopped at the bus door and stood there sadly. Why won't people let it go? It's everywhere I go. Please leave her alone. The damage I inflicted is the gift that keeps on giving. I reached up and pulled the door open, realizing the bus was already running and none of the other buses were still in the lot. I smiled a silent thanks to the sky that Darryl knew when not to rush me. I stepped inside and shut the door behind me and we were underway again.

  I was beat, I'd worry about my shower in the morning. Midnight came. “You have so many facets, you never cease to amaze. Goodnight M, please sleep well.” I played it a few times before saving it. Then I let sleep overtake my wandering mind.

  Chapter 13 – She's Late

  We arrived at our new venue, a stadium this time, and joy oh joy, Nick informed me on my bus that he had set up a final news interview in the parking lot there. They would arrive in a news truck in a short time, so at least I didn't have to go anywhere or be a captive participant this time. I really didn't feel the energy to go through another one of these. They seem to be so mentally exhausting.

  I took solace in the fact that the tour was almost over, and I wouldn't have to put up with this type of intrusion much longer. In time, after everyone figures out that I really am out of the industry for good, they may stop bothering me altogether.

  I had warned Nick and Terry that my temper was on a short fuse today so the off limits topics better not be tested this time, or I won't even be bother being polite. I'll just seriously walk off with the reporter's bloody, beating heart in my hand.

  From what they said, I guess their phones have been ringing off their hooks, for what the media is calling last nights performance, “Mandy Unplugged”. I thought it was just a waste of time as we only have two shows left and then I am free of my self imposed shackles. Free to return to my baby, and free to find a new life with her in another place. I couldn't help but smile with a warm feeling spreading inside at the thought of my daughter.

  I had kicked them out of my bus and I sat on my couch to work on my lyrics and practice spelling words with my finger spelling. I was really starting to get quick at it, maybe it was time to try some real sign language I idly thought. Smiling to myself, I just spoke to the air as I worked “Could you please find me an American Sign Language book?” knowing that Mr Big Ears would take care of me.

  I had a pang of guilt at that, thinking about the fact that I had pulled him from a stable job and away from his wonderful girlfriend, to work with me, and he'll be unemployed in a few days. I made a mental note to do something about that. He's been there for me more than he thinks I know he has. I'll make sure he lands on his feet.

  I grabbed a cream colored lace dress and some low heels to wear, I felt pretty today. I ran my fingers along the material of the dress, taking in the texture of the lace that contrasted with the smooth silky pleated panels. I checked my makeup in the mirror as I heard a knock on the door. I wandered over to the door and cracked it open to see a guard standing there, giving me a nod. Then I exited the bus to the hooting and hollering of the crowd and other reporters that were gathered around the perimeter of the cordoned off area. I saw a bunch of people holding “We love Mandy Fay” signs, trying to get in the background of the camera shot near where the news crew was waiting, with Terry and Nick hovering.

  The news guy looked impatiently, tapping his foot and checking his watch, as I approached, like I'd been keeping him waiting. Well guess what buddy, I'm actually thirty seconds early, I've grown this really obsessive thing with time lately, so I would know! I offered my hand with my best fake smile. “Hi, Mandy Fay, pleased to meet you.” He shook my hand, not even bothering to look me in the eye as he checked his microphone in his other hand. “Donovan Gracy, thanks for agreeing to this interview.” I nodded, only to see that he had already lost interest and had turned to look at the camera man standing five feet away.

  He glanced at me as I stood by his side. “Okay, if you are ready, lets get started.” He nodded and the camera man counted down 3, 2, 1 with his fingers then “Hi, this is Donovan Gracy with KZXZ standing outside of Frontier Stadium today with Mandy Harris.” I correct him with a polite smile “Mandy Fay Harris.” He shot an annoyed glance at me “Sorry, Mandy Fay Harris.” Wow, this guy is a piece of work. I'm already madly and deeply in hate with him. I almost snickered at the thought.

  He mugged for the camera, with a smug smile and leaning in a bit. “So Mandy, the entertainment world is buzzing about last night's performance. In this farewell tour you have turned the music industry on its ear. Last night was spontaneous and groundbreaking for a venue so large, you managed to create an intimate setting at a capacity crowd.” He paused and looked at me, I took that he wanted input even though he didn't ask a question. Awkward much?

  “Thank you Donovan.” I smiled appreciatively. Then he continued, “To what do you credit the creative inspiration?” I exhaled in thought, reliving my exact thought before I the performance. “Truthfully, I was remembering an amazing person dancing with such innocence and grace, that it made it an intimate, moving experience.” I was clasping my hands to my stomach, remembering the sight.

  “I just tried to invoke that in last night's setting.” I nodded in memory, almost with a sigh. With no reaction on his face, he simply deadpan prompted, “Every night you are doing something different with your performance, no particular pattern or style, keeping the music world guessing at what breakout thing you will attempt next. Is this your intent?” He looked at me like he didn't really care, like he was biding his time for something.

  I pursed my lips and thought for a second as I unclasped my hands. “I'm in a constant battle, trying to find
the pieces of myself that I lost along the way. It rages inside me, and I'm just trying to become whole through the music. So the unpredictability of this turmoil is reflected in each nights performance.” He grinned at that, like a crocodile that just spotted its prey. It seriously made me sick to my stomach.

  He ran with that and deliberately overstepped. Not even trying to veil the fact he was ignoring our off limits topics. “Is your battle as fierce as the one raging in Vancouver right now?” Asshole! He did this for the reaction and I know it. He wants the storm off for the ooooo factor.

  I kept my face calm, hiding the rage consuming me. I was literally seeing red. But before I could figure out how to either emasculate him on TV, or turn this situation against the weasel without giving him what he wanted, Nick's body is between us grabbing my arm and dragging me away.

  Nick calling back over his shoulder to the reporter, “Sorry, Miss Harris is done taking questions for now, but thank you for your time and interest.” I'm pretty sure I just hissed at Nick, trying to calm myself.

  I look back over my shoulder as I was dragged toward my bus, to see Terry stand between the camera and us. The cameraman trying to get a shot at our retreat, with a stomping and upset Donovan beside him. Son of a bitch, that is the first human thing I've ever seen that man do. Maybe he really does have a soul buried down in there somewhere. Hey, I did say maybe.

  “Thanks for saving me back there.” I muttered to Nick pulling my arm out of his grasp. He shook his head and laughed, looking relieved that nobody died. “You? I was saving him. When you didn't storm off immediately, and your eyes flared brighter than the fires of hell, I was sure you'd have him smashing his own face with a brick while on the air, and not knowing why.” I smiled and choked back a chuckle as my heart rate lowered slowly back to normal “You know me too well.”