Music of the Soul 1, 2, & 3 Starter Bundle

by Erik Schubach

  She pulled me through to the kitchen again, and out the back door to a huge deck and sat us down on a bench near the door.

  Her demeanor changed instantly. She was all grins and excitement when she looked at me. “So? How was your first party?” I smiled, then idly picked up a random red plastic cup noticing the inside was white. I set it back down and looked beside the door where dozens of stacks of plastic bags full of unused cups were sitting, marked '250 count'. They must have been stocking up for the new school year.

  I smiled warmly back at her as I spoke, “The first part was terrifying, I thought for sure it was going to trigger an episode. But my other neurosis kicked in with that Jake guy, which embarrassed me anyway. The rest of the party was heavenly. I had so much fun dancing and laughing with you.” I blushed at the last admission, “Though the last part with Queen Bitch... not much fun.”

  She grinned back nervously. “So... ummm... did you think Jake was cute?” I snorted back, rolling my eyes. “Not so much. He was hairy and his hands were rough, and he was so grabby. I tried to like him, but he just didn't seem attractive to me.” She brightened up, her eyes sparkled a bit. “Was there anyone else that you may have liked in there?”

  I suddenly got coy and stood up, lazily walking a couple steps to the door and absently grabbed a few bags of red cups from the stacks. I looked back at her as I started opening the bags. “Well, ummm... I th-think for the first time in my life, I-I actually f-found myself attracted t-to someone.”

  “Anyone I'd know?” she asked. I didn't answer, instead I walked to the far side of the deck, well aware of her intense gaze on me as I sat down and started placing cups down in rows across the entire deck, some rightside up and some upside down, often skipping a placement. I glanced back at her with a shy grin. “So, can you tell my why you seem to be saving me all the time? Missy implied you do this sort of thing often. Did you really get kicked out of schools for fighting?”

  I started placing cups faster and faster as she spoke. “Well, yeah, I don't like people who pick on anyone who is different. I think everyone is beautiful in their own way and we should celebrate these differences, not persecute people for them.” I was now putting cups down in rows as fast as I could.

  “So it tends to get me into a little trouble,” she finished. I looked back at her for a second as I was starting to run out of cups just to see her walking toward me with a few more bags of them. She just opened the bags and set them beside me before returning to the bench. I cocked my head at her then turned back to my cups and kept placing them as I spoke. “You seemed awfully mad. Are you sure that's the only reason?”

  There was silence for a few seconds, the only noise was the placement of cups. Did I overstep? I was getting nervous, but then she spoke quietly. “It's mostly because I understand. I've spent most of my life in and out of hospitals. People tend to treat you different, like you are either fragile, broken, or a freak. I'm no different than anyone else. My condition is not who I am. So I can't stand watching anyone go through... that... I don't know.”

  Over half the deck was filled with rows of cups now and more cups kept magically appearing next to me whenever I ran low. She moves quietly. I asked over my shoulder, “What's wrong with you? If you don't mind me asking.” I heard her take a deep breath as my hands were flashing, placing cups at a breakneck speed. She whispered, “I'd rather not discuss it. I'm fine right now, that's all that matters.”

  She delivered the last bag to me and returned to her seat. She tried to change the topic “So whatcha doin' there Mia?” she asked in a chipper voice just as I placed the last cup. I glanced back to see her raise her eyebrow as she realized that the last cup finished my last row perfectly.

  I smiled at her and just opened my palms toward my creation “You asked me earlier, if I found someone here attractive.” I nodded at the cups. She looked at me sideways with confusion in her eyes. Then I realized why. I looked at her sheepishly, remembering that not everyone has a broken brain, “Oh... sorry, follow me.”

  It was my turn to grab her hand and drag her back into the house, my breath hitched as she laced our fingers and started rubbing the back of my hand with her thumb as we went. I almost tripped as I got a little weak in my knees because of it. I dragged her up the stairs and into a room with a rear facing window. I smiled at her and opened the window wide and motioned down, stepping aside.

  I was embarrassed about my admission below so I looked at my feet, suddenly seemingly fascinated with my sandals. I heard her breath catch as she leaned out the window. “Holy shit!” she exclaimed. “That is fucking amazing Mia... YOU are fucking amazing!”

  I glanced up at her and she was just leaning out the window, her hands gripping the window frame, staring down onto the deck with a huge smile. I stepped to her side, catching a hint of her vanilla fragrance and glanced down at my handiwork as she absentmindedly grabbed my hand while we looked down.

  Sure, the arrangement in red and black where I omitted cups looked like a rough pixelated photo of Valla, drawn in the sea of white cup insides. But the red 'Valla' I spelled at the bottom might have given it away. I was muttering,“If there were more cups I could have made it more realistic. I'm still not satisfied with it. I could have done better. If I would have taken a few more seconds to determine the...” my obsessive rambling was interrupted by her lips meeting mine.

  People always talk about how they wish their first kiss could be magical, like you see in the movies. But from what I understand the reality of it all is that it rarely is. I never thought I'd ever get a first kiss, let alone enjoy it, since I had determined I was pretty much asexual. But wow! Just wow!

  Every part of my body was buzzing with heat, my mind was blank. It's never blank, always going over things, analyzing things, obsessing over things. Her soft lips pressing against mine, and our lip gloss slowly sliding together was so sensual it was mind blowing.

  I was barely able to mentally kick myself for just standing there and got myself to return the kiss, leaning into it. I felt her tongue gently outlining my lower lip, asking for permission to enter. I opened my mouth slightly, deepening the kiss as I raised my hands to cup her face. I tentatively allowed my tongue to touch hers, and then I couldn’t get enough as hers gently swirled around mine. Taking control of me. Owning me. I eagerly surrendered to her.

  Regrettably she broke our kiss a few seconds later, our lips sticking slightly from our mixed gloss, both of us gasping for air. This is the first time in my life I was frustrated that oxygen was needed to sustain life. I missed her lips already, I realized I was curling my toes. I could feel the burn of a blush spreading on my cheeks and down my neck. I knew that I needed to form some sort of coherent thought, but none came.

  She smiled so softly at me, with a new hungry look sparkling in her orange eyes. “Ummm... I didn't think I was gay before that kiss. Boy was I wrong!” She giggled at her admission with a genuine smile, staring at my lips and licking her own. Somehow I found myself saying with a tinge of wonder in my voice, “I'm pretty sure I'm Valla-sexual now myself.” We both laughed with our eyes locked on each others.

  She glanced nervously between me and the cup art below. She pecked my lips quickly and said “Just a sec Mia.” She grabbed her cell out of her purse and took a photo of the cup art. She then turned back to me biting her lower lip, a look of want on her face. “Uhhh, I think we need to talk.” I nodded shyly. She continued quickly. “My dorm is closer, my roommate should be out all night.” Then she grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers and dragging me out of the room as we headed for the quad.

  Chapter 4 – Poetry

  We arrived at her dorm room with her dragging me inside, closing the door and leaning with her back against it. I don't know how long it took us to get there, I was still obsessing over the way her lips felt on mine.

  She smiled at me, tilting her head slightly as she studied me. “When's your first class tomorrow? I only have American Literature at 3:00,” she stated. I thought f
or a second. “I only have two classes in the afternoon tomorrow. My Tuesday, Thursday schedule. Art and calculus. Art is at 1:00.”

  She nodded. “I know we have to talk. What happened tonight was HUGE... and scary, and exciting! At least to me. But I really am exhausted, you mind if we just sleep and talk in the morning?” I didn't know what to say. “Ummm... sure. It was huge for me too. Like, life altering huge. But just standing here I can feel my own exhaustion creeping in.”

  She smiled warmly in understanding and wandered over to a dresser, and grabbed out two sets of boxer shorts and two oversized t-shirts and tossed me a set. She winked and said, “Mine's the bed in the corner there, be right back.” Then she disappeared into her bathroom.

  I undressed and got into the sleeping clothes she gave me. I could smell her vanilla scent on the shirt, it gave me a warm tingly feeling. I sat on the edge of her bed to wait and looked down at the open notebook sitting next to the pillow. I read the words on the page, it was a poem. The disjointed cadence of it and the lack of consistent rhyme gave more ambiance to the emotional words on the paper. I could empathize and feel the emotion on the page.

  “Wow.” I whispered and started thumbing through the pages. Each one was more amazing than the last. I felt eyes on me and glanced up to see Valla looking intently between me and the notebook. I handed it quickly to her, averting my eyes. “Sorry.” I whispered. She took it and held it to her, hugging it to her chest. “It's okay. They really aren't good enough for anyone else to read.”

  I shook my head. “My God Valhalla, those poems were amazing. I could read those all day.” She blushed and set it on the nightstand. I saw her shiver and bite her lower lip at the use of her full name. Then wordlessly she opened the covers, motioning down to the bed with her eyes. I silently obeyed and slid into bed under the covers, my back to her and she slid in behind me, pressing the front of her body against my back and wrapping her arm over my waist possessively.

  I stopped breathing. I sat there stock still, terrified of moving or saying anything that could ruin this intimate feeling. The last sleepover I had was when I was six, and it didn't feel anything like this. I could feel the warmth of her body where it touched me. We were a perfect fit as she molded around me. I smiled thinking, I'm the little spoon.

  She put her lips on my neck and breathed hotly. “Mia?” I squeaked out an almost silent “Yeah?” She kissed my neck, causing a shiver to spread down my body. “Breathe.” she ordered. “Oh.” I said as I finally exhaled the breath I had been holding. She giggled a little. “Goodnight Mia.” I sighed and relaxed back into her, feeling even more contact. “G'night Valla.” I couldn't have taken more than five or so breaths before I was taken by the most relaxing sleep I had ever experienced.

  ***

  I woke up to the sun shining in through the window and the bed shaking with an over enthusiastic, bubbly soprano voice squealing at Valla and I. It was speaking at speeds faster than a chipmunk on speed. “Oh my gawd! You two are so cute! Are you like a couple? If not you should be. You should see how cute you are. Here!” She snapped a picture with the phone in her hand then showing her screen to us.

  “Oh wait. Like you could totally be my hawt lipstick lesbian roommate Vee! I could like, hook up with all the cute guys that show up trying to catch you two together! How cool would that be? So pleeeeeease say you are a couple! Wait, if I think yer hawt, does that mean I'm a lesbian? Ooooo I'd so make an awesome lesbian! Maybe I should try to hook up with a girl at my next party! Oh! We could like double date and stuff!”

  We both sat up stunned. What the hell is going on? Who is this? Valla tightened her grip on my waist protectively, turning us almost imperceptibly so she was between the crazy little peppy blonde explosion on the bed, and myself. My eyes were darting everywhere looking for an escape.

  “Vicky!” Valla shouted over the blonde pixie. “Vicky, calm down! Slow down, you are talking on fast forward again!” The blonde girl stopped bouncing, smiled back and forth between us and finally stopped talking, looking at Valla eagerly.

  Valla saw my discomfort and moved her arm from my waist and moved it up to my shoulders, hugging me in and allowing me to bury my face in her shoulder to hide. “You calm now Vickster?” she asked. The tiny blonde just nodded quickly, her smile not fading.

  I felt Valla squeeze my shoulder reassuringly before she spoke “Vicky, this is Mia, she's my... well I'm not sure how we define ourselves yet since we haven't had time to talk.” Vicky shot her hand forward toward me. “Pleased to meet you Mia!” she said quickly and enthusiastically.

  I timidly reached out the hand that wasn't holding onto Valla's shirt for dear life. “I'm p-p-pleased to m-meet you too Vicky.” Before she let go of my hand she squeaked, “Oh my gawd! Just how cute are you!?” She sat back on the end of the bed and looked at Valla. God help me, but a picture of a hyperactive puppy waiting expectantly for it's owner to throw a ball shot through my mind.

  “So are you? Huh? You know... a lesbian Vee?” She asked with wide eyes. Valla hugged me, kissing the top of my head before she spoke. “Well, to my own surprise, it appears so. Since all I dreamed about the entire night was kissing Mia again.” I stiffened for a second at her admission then snuggled in tighter, since that's all I had been thinking about too until this blonde wild woman woke us the heck up.

  “I have the coolest roommate EVER!” Vicky bubbled and swung her head dramatically to turn her enthusiasm toward me. “So how did you meet? Was it like, love at first sight? Is she like, a good kisser? I bet she is!” I couldn't stop myself from laughing a little as I replied, “Sh-she slapped m-me. I'll let y-you know. And, hell yes! But I d-don't have much to base th-that on as it was my first kiss ever.” Where did that burst of confidence come from?

  I smiled up at Valla, who stuck her tongue out at me. Vicky, crossed her arms over her heart and hugged herself as she rocked back and fourth before looking up. “Gawd! That is soooo cool and sweet! Your very first kiss! And it was a lesbian kiss! How frickin' hawt is that? I'm jealous! Wait, ooooo, I can get a new first kiss too if I start mackin' on a girl at my next party! I bet I'm gonna love it!”

  I was blushing hard now. Valla glanced at her alarm clock and grabbed a pillow with her free hand and threw it at Vicky. “Hey, don't you have a class in like a half hour? Leave my Mia alone and give us some privacy you hyperactive debutant!” My Mia? Swoon!

  Vicky faked a pout then smiled, hopping up into our personal space. “Okay! One for you,” she kissed Valla on the cheek and leaned down to me, “and one for you!” She kissed my cheek then bounded over to her side of the dorm room and grabbed her purse. “Bye ladies!” she waved a tiny wave at us before she bounded out the door.

  I caught myself giving a tiny wave back as I looked at Valla in shock. “What the hell was that!?” She snorted, I thought it was cute. “That...” she leaned down and captured my lips in a soft kiss, “was...” she kissed me again, brain function was diminishing, “my...” a third, lingering kiss, “roommate.”

  I moaned happily and blinked rapidly, clearing my head as she continued speaking. “I'm so sorry about her, I think her parents were a chipmunk and a cheerleader. But she means well. I didn't even think about her seeing us. Please don't be mad we were outed that way when we don't even know what 'we' are. God, if word gets out... not everyone will be as understanding. This will make life harder if you decide you want this... if you want me. I'm sorry Mia.”

  I snuggled into the crook of her neck, thinking while absently kissing at her pulse point. I felt her shiver before I spoke. “I'm whatever you want me to be. I couldn't give a flying fuck in space if people give me flack for wanting you. If that makes me gay, fine. They couldn't treat me any worse than they do now. Because I do... I want you. I've never wanted anyone in my life, this is so strange to me. You told me that every day is a gift. That we define ourselves by how we fill it. Well, I want to fill my days with you, to define myself that way. If you aren't comfortable with it I can be your secret
, or just your friend. But I don't want to have you NOT in my life.”

  She looked at me. Her sparkling eyes were watery, on the verge of tears. “I want you too.” she whispered as a single tear rolled down her cheek. I have known her for a day and still I never thought I would ever see this woman cry.

  I reached up and brushed the tear away with my thumb. She continued, “So where do we go from here? Does that make us girlfriends, or do we date first? I don't want to move too fast for you. Life is too short, I'm all about living in the now, but I can wait for you to be ready.”

  I took a deep cleansing breath, “I-I can be your girlfriend.” I whispered into her smiling kiss.

  To alleviate the heavy tone that hung thick in the air, I looked at the door with a chuckle, “I didn't think airheaded blondes really existed!” Valla giggled, shaking her head. “Don't be fooled. She may be super sweet and hopped up on sugar, but she's like soooo beyond genius. She has an eidetic memory and an IQ off the charts. 4.0 student because of it. She's a business major here.” I stared at her unbelievably and shook my head. “Who woulda thought?”

  We spent the next few hours talking about everything, learning as much as we possibly could about each others lives and defining what we were to each other. That was more intimate to me than all our kissing combined, I could feel our attachment growing.

  We covered everything, from our childhoods to the cup art I made for her last night. She forwarded the photo of it to my phone so I could make it my avatar for her in my contact list. I really liked her middle name, Abbey. It suited her much better than mine, Jessica. The only topic she wouldn't discuss was the reason for her visits to the hospital.

  It was getting close to noon, so after getting dressed she walked me back to my dorm room so I could get ready for the day. She looked around at the uber-organized room and spoke to me through the bathroom door as I was drying off from my shower. “You don't have a roommate?” I laughed “Nope. Nobody want's to room with 'the spaz', I might 'infect' them or something.”