Music of the Soul 1, 2, & 3 Starter Bundle

by Erik Schubach

  She whispered, “It was worth every moment.” then smiled at me and closed her eyes for the last time. I lost the love of my life and I cried silently over her until the nurses led me away.

  Chapter 17 – A New Purpose

  I hadn't slept or eaten since then. The next evening I was still numb, sitting at home, hiding in my hoodie. I was lost planning Valla's funeral when suddenly I heard the front door lock open. I jumped out of my chair at the sound. A moment later, a frantic and disheveled looking Vicky was running in, her eyes sweeping the room till she saw me and wordlessly ran over to me and grabbed me into a protective hug. I buried my head in her shoulder as we slid to the floor, and finally my heart rending sobs came.

  After a while I whimpered, “She's gone.” between sobs and gasps for breath. She just lowered my hood and stroked my hair and let me cry myself to sleep in her arms. An hour later I woke to the sound of Abbey crying in the nursery, I went to get up out of Vicky's arms and she stopped me. “No, I'll do it. You need to sleep.” She helped me up and led me to my room first, the room I used to share with my wife, my Valhalla, where she sat me on the bed before she left to go to the nursery.

  I was counting... when she returned twenty two minutes and thirteen seconds later I was sitting in the same place on the bed. She undressed me, throwing the hoodie out into the hall roughly like it was poison, and put me in my sleeping clothes, pressed Little Vee into my hand, then helped me under the covers. I held the covers open and she didn't hesitate to slide in behind me and wrap her arm around me protectively as I fell asleep crying into my pillow.

  When I woke up the next morning grasping Little Vee, I felt more human... human, with a large hole torn in my soul, but human. I looked back and Vicky was awake already, in the same spot as last night; protecting me, watching me. “Hey.” she said with a little smile. I whispered back, “Hey back. You're here? I thought I dreamed it.” She nodded, “I hopped a plane in London the moment I heard. I'm so sorry Mia.”

  I fought the tears off. She stroked my hair, “I wanted to make sure you were awake before I went to take care of Abbey. I didn't want you to wake to the empty bed and think I had left. I'll be right here. You rest and I'll be back soon. I'm going to change and feed Abbey then make you some breakfast. Then I'll take care of everything... I may have some questions, but I'm here for you.” she rapid fired to me at hyper speed.

  I reached a hand to rest on her cheek, I'd never been happier to see her and her ability to take charge of chaos than at that moment. “Victoria... slow down. Breathe.” She smiled at me and slid out from behind me and started toward the door, turning and calling over her shoulder, “Get some rest Mia.”

  Thirty six minutes and fifty three seconds later she was back in the room holding a tray with oatmeal, toast, and coffee. I started scarfing down the food. I didn't realize how hungry I was, I hadn't eaten since before... I stopped for a moment, “Two thousand two hundred and eighty minutes and seven seconds.” I whispered. Then I started drinking the coffee as I blankly stared off into space.

  Vicky looked at me, squinting her eyes as I saw her calculating in her lightning fast brain. “Stop.” she said. I whispered, “That's how long I have been without her.” She looked at me and said more firmly, “Stop!” She shook her head and forcefully continued, “Don't do that to yourself Mia!”

  “I can't do this. I can't go on without her.” I said flatly with no emotion. And for the second time in my life I was slapped. I actually lost track of my counting and stared at her in shock.

  She looked mad, something you don't see on Vicky's face, ever... it wasn't flattering. She spoke firmly between her gritted teeth, “You are stronger than this! Don't let it beat you, don't let it define you! You are one of the strongest people I have ever met and Vee made you that much stronger! What would she tell you right now?! Huh?!”

  I stared at her. She's right... Vicky is always right. Valla made me strong. She made me promise to give Abbey a happy life. Half of my heart is gone, but the other half is still here, beating strong. I'll make Valla proud of me, no matter how bad my heart aches for her! That's my new purpose. I'll define myself with Abbey, I'll fill my days giving her the best life I can! I can burden this pain that I will always have.

  I looked at her in embarrassment, “Sorry Vic... thank you.” She smiled one of her contagious smiles, “No problem Mia.” She took a deep breath, “That was the easy part. You ready for the hard part now?” I nodded, absently rubbing Little Vee with my thumb. I could do anything, Valla taught me that. I stood up and hugged the little blonde Einstein, and she led me out to the living room to the mountain of paperwork and legal mumbo jumbo.

  ***

  It was astounding all of the things that needed to be done. Things I would never have imagined. But Vicky was a machine, she handled everything as easily as we breathe. Every once in a while she asked a question and once I answered she'd be filling out forms, making calls, sending emails, kicking ass, and taking names.

  Mr. and Mrs. Davenport had arrived, hugging me before springing into action. Maira went into autopilot and took care of Abbey. Mr. Davenport gave legal, technical, and moral support to his daughter as she plowed through everything. I had forgotten that Frank Davenport was a high class lawyer with clients like that Mandy Fay Harris singer. I felt useless.

  More than once the phone rang and I heard Vicky hissing something I couldn't make out. Once Mr. Davenport intercepted the phone and was walking outside with it. I could hear his raised voice outside, “Don't you vultures ever stop? You will not make a circus out of this girl's tragedy!”

  I learned later that news and 'entertainment' reporters were trying to get an interview with me about my wife's death since we were both making a name for ourselves in the art world. Vicky had been skillfully parrying them away. From this point on, Mr. D manned the house phone.

  At one point he came to me with a pained look on his face. “The paper wants to know if you want to submit an obituary or if you want them to write it.” This struck me hard, silent tears made their way down my cheek but I refused to cry out loud. “V-Vicky already h-has it. S-sh-she can email it t-to them.” I raised my chin to try to show strength. He rested his hand on my shoulder gently then put the phone back to his ear and wandered off relaying the instructions.

  ***

  The service was that Saturday at our house. Vicky would be with me for only one more week before she had to return to England. I looked out from the house to the back yard. There were chairs arranged around the yard at the dock. About a dozen people showed up that we had approved. I pulled on Valla's combat boots and wandered out with Valla's ashes in an ornate porcelain urn.

  I looked around as I stepped up to the dock and placed the urn on the little lace covered table there. Jenny was there as well as Valla's English Lit professor. The Davenports of course, Maira holding Abbey on her hip. The Cohans and their current foster child, Danny. Dr. Townsend and two of the nurses from the hospice, Nancy and Grace.

  Then there was Missy... again, who stood and walked over and gave me a warm heartfelt hug, conveying real sympathy, “I'm sorry Mia.” she whispered so nobody could hear her, before returning to her seat. I was stunned, in all the years she had made my life a living hell in school she had never used my real name.

  Vicky looked over to me, so I nodded and spoke to the gathering, “Th-thank y-you all for coming t-today. Valla would h-have appreciated it, and I a-appreciate it more th-than I can express in words. We are h-here to celebrate Valla, not mourn her passing.” I was gaining courage just speaking about the love of my life, “She was the miracle I needed, my savior from a world I h-hid from. She showed me what it was to love and be loved. Every day s-she demonstrated what true courage and strength was. She taught that lesson to me and instilled it into me and anyone who she took into our inner circle of friends and family.”

  I was smiling in memory now, “Valla beat all odds, in a cruel world stacked against her. She accomplished EVERYTHING she set
out to do. Naysayers and her godforsaken disease be damned! She found love, got married, built a family, and had a beautiful daughter with me. And her last fate defying act against the universe was to graduate from college, even if it meant doing it from a hospital bed and a wheelchair.”

  I was swelling with pride for my wife's accomplishments, “She showed us all what true strength was. She once told me that every day is a gift and what we do with that gift is what defines us. I lived a lifetime with her in the four years she gifted me. I am defined by the love we shared and by our daughter, whom I'll spend each and every day sharing that love with.”

  I turned and opened the urn and walked along the dock, sprinkling her ashes into the lake she grew up on. At the home she created a family with me at. I felt a semblance of peace for the first time since her passing.

  ***

  Vicky and I caught up over the next few days before she left. She had met a wonderful woman who she thought might just be her Valla. And because of her impeccable record and demonstrated management and organization skills she had been offered a curator position at a high end art gallery while she does her post-grad studies at Oxford. Large businesses were already taking note of her reputation.

  She says I inspired her to find something in business and the arts, so when she was offered the position she thought, “I would so make an awesome curator!” And like everything else she sets her mind to I had zero doubt that she'd be amazing at it.

  She slowly helped me put myself back together enough that I could survive on my own. Then I watched her leave for that final time at the airport, each of us whispering our “I love you's” through our tears.

  Epilogue

  Mia looked at Abbey and Samantha with tears in their eyes as they were clearing away the dishes of the dinner they ate during the story, after they had moved from the living room as the story progressed. “So... incredibly long story short, that's the story of your Mother and I. Why did you want me to tell it?” Mia finished.

  Abbey wiped the tears from her eyes and looked up with the coy look on her face that Mia remembered from her wife whenever she was up to mischief. “Well Mom, I was wondering the exact moment you fell in love with Mother.” Mia smiled in memory again, “That's easy. It was right after she slapped me and said 'Every day is a gift! It's how you fill that gift that defines you.'... why do you want to know?”

  Abbey turned to Sam, biting her lower lip seductively. “You remember on the plane ride over when you asked me when I knew you were the one? And I changed the subject?” Samantha laughed at that “Well if you call sticking your tongue down my throat 'changing the subject', then yes I remember.”

  Abbey continued, “Well before I answered I wanted you to hear that story.” Realization was spreading across Samantha's face and she whispered, “No fucking way!” Abbey was nodding and looking at Sam with hunger in her eyes. “Yes. It was that night of our second date in our freshman year. Do you remember what you said to me?”

  Sam nodded in amazement. “I said that every day is a gift, and that I wanted to fill all my days with you.” Abbey was nodding like a mad woman. “Yes. That was the moment that I knew you were the one.”

  Mia was stunned at this revelation as she watched her daughter slyly distract her girlfriend with a seductive kiss on the lips as she pulled a little box out of her pocket.

  Samantha's hand shot up to her mouth when Abbey took a knee and opened the box. “Samantha Prudence Roth... will you make me the happiest woman alive and marry me?” Sam was just nodding up and down quickly, repeatedly, her hand still on her mouth and a tear in the corner of her eye.

  Abbey laughed, “Is that a yes?” Sam dropped her hand then pulled Abbey into a passionate kiss, then broke it quickly, reaching her hand out for the ring. “Yes! A thousand times yes!” Abby slid the plain band etched with intertwining script S's and A's onto her fiancee's finger. Then they held hands, fingers laced and turned to a smiling and crying Mia.

  “I love you girls so much!” she exclaimed and pulled them both into a hug. She was about to suggest they celebrate when her cell phone vibrated in her pocket. She looked at it, “Drat! It's the curator bugging me about getting the exhibit there tonight. Can you girls lend me a hand?”

  They nodded and she looked at the text again, [ Missy: hey freak, u getting yr crap here or not? ]. She typed a reply, [ Mia: chill skank, b there soon ]. Mia slipped on the old worn combat boots by the garage door that had been repaired and re-soled multiple times over the years before heading into the garage.

  As they loaded the art into the racks in the old FJ Cruiser, Sam asked Mia, “So, you've never found anyone else in all these years?” Mia shook her head, “No, I've never found anyone else attractive since Valla, I've resigned myself to the fact that she was a once in a lifetime lightning strike for me. But the years I had with her were more than enough to fill a lifetime with love.” Sam nodded with a sad smile as they all piled in for the ride to the gallery.

  Abbey and Sam took the back seat so they could steal glances and kisses that they didn't think Mia could see. Their hands always together, fingers laced. Abbey asked, “So why the night delivery? The exhibit doesn't open until tomorrow night. What's the rush.”

  Mia shrugged with a quizzical look on her face as she concentrated on driving. “Don't know. The curator was babbling something about the new owner of the gallery wanting to meet me as soon as possible. Probably some old blowhard that wouldn't know art if it jumped up and bit him.”

  They arrived at the back of the gallery. Mia tapped the horn and as the big bay door opened she drove in and the door closed behind them. They got out and were in the process of unloading the canvases when a middle aged woman with grey streaked hair in a smart business suit came quickly walking over to them. “You finally made it spaz!” Mia smiled at the woman as they shared a quick hug. “What's the rush whore?”

  The two younger girls were looking between Mia and the other woman in confusion. The older women's actions toward each other belied the crude verbal sparring they were engaged in.

  Mia noticed their confusion and chuckled at them. “Girls, this is Missy Hannigan, the curator here.” The girls looked shocked at that revelation that this was Mia's childhood nemesis standing in front of them. “Missy this is...” She was cut off by Missy's exclamation, “Jesus Christ!” she was looking at Abbey, a hand shooting up to cover her mouth, then whispered over toward Mia without breaking eye contact with Abbey. “She looks EXACTLY like her.”

  Mia smiled with pride at that fact and continued like nothing had happened. “This is my daughter Abbey and her gorgeous fiancee, Samantha.” Missy shook each of their hands with a smile. “Pleased to meet you both.” Then she turned to Mia. “You did good for a freak.” Nodding her head toward Abbey. Mia beamed, “That means a lot coming from you bitch.” The younger girls still looked stunned about who this was, the story fresh in their heads.

  They unloaded the canvases and put them on the dolly Missy indicated to them. Missy stood back and looked at the works, then whistled, “You definitely haven't lost your touch spaz.” Then Mia turned to Missy, sighing and resigning herself to the next task at hand. “So where is this old windbag who wants to meet me?” Missy smirked at that comment. “Follow me.” Mia knew that smirk... Missy was up to something.

  They were lead into the gallery proper and Missy pointed to the far end, where Mia's exhibit would be tomorrow. “I'll catch you tomorrow freak.” Mia nodded as she lead the girls over to a tiny woman in a gorgeous, professional black dress, with her back to them, examining the plexiglass shelves which would hold Mia's canvases.

  Mia cleared her throat and steeled herself for the inane questions that were sure to follow. “T-the curator s-said you'd like t-to speak with me.” The stunning woman spun around quickly, with a huge infectious smile. “Is that all you have to say to me Mia?”

  Both women squealed and jumped into an embrace. Mia squeaked out in excitement, “I can't believe you are here!” The blon
de looked over Mia's shoulder as they hugged, then gasped and quickly broke the hug, taking two steps back in shock and covering her mouth in surprise.

  Then just as quickly she tilted her head toward Abbey in question, searching Mia's eyes. “Abbey?” Mia was just grinning like an idiot and nodding, feeling an odd fluttering in her stomach that felt familiar somehow when she looked at her old friend. The blonde dropped her hand from her mouth, shaking her head slowly. “I thought I was seeing a ghost.”

  Mia grabbed both of the woman's hands, interlacing their fingers, pulling her to the girls, but unable to pull her gaze from the short, gorgeous blonde who looked ten years younger and fitter than her forty years should show. Vicky was similarly appraising Mia, her eyes stopping first at the familiar combat boots, then at Little Vee's ears poking out of her pocket. She smiled genuinely at both.

  Then Mia realized she was staring at the blonde and quickly picked the conversation back up as she spoke with pride. “Victoria, let me introduce to you, your god daughter Abbey and her beautiful fiancee Samantha.” Now it was the girls' turn to cover their mouths in shock at hearing the blonde woman's name, as Vicky gave them exuberant hugs then grabbed Mia's hands again.

  “Where's your bride?” Mia inquired, looking around in curiosity but not releasing her hold on Vicky's hands.

  Vicky was subconsciously stroking the sides of Mia's thumbs with her own thumbs, a fact that Abbey and Samantha didn't miss. Vicky shrugged, “Who knows? She divorced me two years back, bilked me for millions in the settlement. Said I was too hyper for her, and age wasn't mellowing and 'maturing' me enough for her tastes. I personally think it's because her personal assistant knocked her up. Tomato, tomoto... But I so make an awesome divorcee!” She finished exuberantly and struck an exaggerated, coy pose that heated Mia's cheeks. Everyone laughed at Vic's revelation, it was such a Vicky thing to say.