‘That’s brave,’ Evelyn snorts sarcastically.
‘Yeah, well I know I’m a wimp, but I have to end it now while I’m sure. Now can you please leave me alone to nap in peace?’
Just looking at her judgy face is pissing me off right now.
She smiles sadly, placing her hand on my shoulder. ‘Okay. Have a good sleep babe.’ Now I feel bad. She only cares.
‘See you later buzzkill,’ Brooke laughs, as she shows her out. The minute the door is shut Brooke runs on over to me, diving onto my bed. ‘You’re not gonna listen to that bore off, are you?’
‘Brooke! Don’t be mean.’ She’s always saying Evelyn’s too reserved.
‘Come on! I don’t care how much you cried back then, you were sixteen for fuck’s sake. You probably cried when Marissa died in the OC too.’
‘Oh my god, don’t even talk about that,’ I pretend sob. But seriously, I cried like a baby! Why did they have to kill her off? She was my favourite.
‘You’re a grown ass woman now and if you want to fuck him, I say fuck him.’ She’s so matter of fact about stuff like this. It makes me wonder why she’s never dreamed of falling in love. Or even hanging onto a guy for longer than a week.
‘Your answer is always to fuck, regardless of the question!’ I screech with a giggle.
‘Which is why I have such a fun and fulfilling life. Maybe you should take my advice more.’ She wiggles her eyebrows.
‘I’m not going to fuck Jack,’ I state as confidently as I can. He doesn’t deserve me. Not after denting my confidence so badly all those years ago. I need to hang onto that hurt and use it against him as my protection.
‘Why not?’ she asks with a shrug. ‘He’s obviously hot for you.’
‘Do you think?’ I ask, trying to hide my smile. I mean, I know the guy had a boner pressed against me, but after everything that happened I feel like I need the reassurance.
‘Duh, you dumbass! And you’ve done it before, why not do it again? At least this time you’re not going to fall for him. You know it’s just a holiday fling.’
‘The thing is...we never really did it.’
‘What?’ She seems horrified. ‘I thought you lost your V card to him?’
I think back to the awkwardness of it all. ‘It’s a long embarrassing story that I really don’t want to have to re-live.’
‘Whatever. All the better. Show him how good in bed you are.’
‘I could be crap for all you know!’ I laugh, thinking back to past lovers. I suppose I’ve never had any complaints. But most guys are just pleased to get their dicks wet, right?
‘Please, bitch,’ she scoffs, ‘I’ve seen you dance. Those hips don’t lie.’
I chuckle loudly. This is why I need Brooke in my life. She totally counter balances Evelyn’s seriousness. They’re like the angel and the devil on my shoulder.
‘Only you could say that! What about Evelyn?’
She winks. ‘What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.’
She thinks I should lie and do it all secretly? Crap, this is enough to give me a headache.
‘How can you just land this all on me right before my nap?’
‘Sorry,’ she grimaces, not looking that apologetic at all. ‘Sleep well spider monkey and have some sexy dreams about lover boy.’
Chapter Seven
Karl,
I know this is a really shitty thing to do, but I think we need to talk. I don’t think this relationship is going anywhere. I so appreciate how you’ve supported me, but you deserve someone who deserves you. We’re better off as friends.
Erica x
I know it’s the total wimps way out, but I just know that if I call him I’ll change my mind the minute I hear his soothing voice. I’ll remember how well he’s treated me and how he doesn’t deserve this. At least this way it’s done.
Tonight we’ve all signed up for an excursion into the mountains to see how the local people live. I grab my bag and take a deep breath. Brooke went to curl Alice’s hair so I’ve got no-one to confide in about how terrible I feel. You can do this Erica. The worst part is over now.
I open the door and almost smash my face into Jack’s chest. He has his fist up, as if he was about to knock.
‘Jack!’ I shout, far too loudly.
He smiles, his eyes amused at my high pitched voice. ‘Hi Eric. Thought I’d walk you to the bus.’
‘Great!’ I can’t stop my voice from being shrill. I sound like a dog’s squeaky toy.
He grabs my hand and walks forward, practically dragging me behind him. He’s holding my hand? What the hell is going on here?
‘So...are we going to talk about what we did earlier?’ he asks. I can’t read his face from back here. Without seeing him there’s no way to tell from his tone whether he regrets it or enjoyed it.
‘Err...I’d prefer not to,’ I admit sheepishly, my cheeks burning.
‘How did I know?’ he chuckles, still not looking back.
We’re almost at the bus now, our crowd waiting outside it. I take my hand from his hurriedly. I know the minute Evelyn sees us together she’s going to be asking enough questions. I could do without the extra attention. He looks down at his bereft hand in shock. Only now we’re too close to the gang for him to say anything.
‘Hi!’ I say to everyone, far too cheerily.
‘Where the hell have you been?’ Evelyn hisses at me, her face murderous. Jesus, someone needs to take a chill pill. I was looking forward to it until now. I hope she doesn’t plan on babysitting me the whole night, keeping me away from Jack.
I turn, heading towards the bus in an attempt to avoid Evelyn’s pointed stare. She grabs my arm as I try to pass her.
‘Not so fast, Miss humps.’
I turn to stare at her with raised eyebrows. ‘Miss humps?’
She smirks, hand on her hip. ‘As in you were practically humping Jack in the pool earlier. Gosh, everyone could see. Do you have no shame?’
God, I hate how she can make me feel like shit. I look down at my sandal clad feet, as if I’ve just been told off by the headmistress. Didn’t we go over this shit earlier?
‘Leave her alone, will you,’ Brooke calls, standing next to me in solidarity. Thank God. She must have been listening out. That girl’s got my back. ‘If she wants to hump people in the pool she can.’
I smile back gratefully, but wish she’d lower her voice. If Jack overhears I’ll die. Actually die.
Evelyn raises her eyebrows. ‘Erica, you know I wouldn’t give a shit about you humping some random.’ That’s a total lie; she’d still tell me to stop acting like a slut in public. ‘But this is Jack we’re talking about. What the hell are you doing getting mixed up with him again?’
‘I’m not getting mixed up with him again,’ I retort defensively, arms wrapped around myself.
She raises her eyebrows. ‘So, thrusting your vag back onto his junk isn’t putting out desperate vibes?’
‘Hey!’ I shout, instantly pissed. How dare she call me desperate. ‘We went through this earlier. But we have history. It’s natural that we’d be drawn together.’
She shakes her head in dismay. ‘The little shit broke your heart. You should be staying the hell away from him, not rubbing yourself against his cock.’
I stop dead in my tracks and turn to her. ‘Look, Evelyn, whatever I do on this holiday is my business. I’m stressed enough as it is. The last thing I need is you getting in my face about it, telling me what to do.’
Her face twists in hurt. ‘Even if I’m trying to protect you from making the same mistake twice?’
‘Yes!’ I shout defiantly. ‘I’m a big girl, I can make my own decisions and make my own mistakes.’
She scoffs. ‘You’re supposed to learn from your mistakes! Not repeat history.’
‘Who says I’ll fucking regret it? Huh?’ I shout. ‘I’m not an emotional fifteen year old anymore.’
She scoffs with an eye roll. ‘Yeah, next thing you’ll be telling me you can get
with him this holiday and not let feelings get in the way.’
‘Why not?’ Brooke asks, intervening. ‘I do it all the time.’
She glares back at her. ‘Yes, well Erica isn’t you Brooke! And this isn’t just some dude. This is her first love. There’s no way on this earth she’ll be able to do anything with that boy and not fall head over heels.’
That boy? He’s no longer a boy, he’s a bloody man!
‘Just drop it Evelyn.’ She raises her eyebrows at me again. ‘I mean it, Evelyn. Leave me the hell alone over this.’
‘If you could start loading onto the bus now please,’ an organiser with a clipboard says.
I turn to Evelyn. ‘Gladly.’
Jack
The villagers in the mountains are supposed to be making us a traditional meal tonight and putting on some kind of dancing show. I just hope the food isn’t gross.
I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me tonight. I had no intention of walking to her room, but I just found myself there. It was like my hand was going to knock of its own accord. And then I couldn’t help holding her hand. I’m giving her the wrong messages, I know. Letting her think we can be something in real life, when we can’t.
We load the bus, our overweight tour guide shouting, ‘Good evening!’ to each of us in his thick accent.
The minute I set foot on the bus I spot her sat towards the back, my eyes locking with hers. Shit, she’s looking at me with so many questions behind those eyes. Questions I can’t answer. I’m such a shit. I sit down two rows in front of her. Crap, why did I have to make it awkward between us?
I take a quick discreet look back and notice Evelyn turn to her with a look that says “see, he’s still a silly little boy”.
I want to stick my tongue out like a toddler, but I hold myself back.
The coach starts driving along, but my God, this driver must be pissed or something. He’s driving like a lunatic! We pass fields, crops, and people walking with donkeys. This is the type of shit I was expecting. Not the well-developed resort we’re staying in. We drive around corners of the cliffs, barely missing plummeting to our death.
Every time I look at the others, they’ve all got the same pale face I imagine I have. Erica looks like she’s going to pass out. I want to go to her and wrap her in my arms, but it would raise far too many questions.
We go through a small town filled with dilapidated houses and finally stop outside a whitewashed wall with red tile roof.
The minute we’re off the bus, loud folk music assaults my ears. Jesus! And it sounds like it’s live. Great. A line starts forming outside a wooden gate.
‘I cannot wait for this!’ Molly cheers, practically jumping up and down in excitement. Jeez, we’ve only been here a few days and already her super positive outlook is starting to grate on me.
Alice and Erica roll their eyes. At least I’m not alone.
I stand a few people behind her in the queue. I desperately want her to look around just so I get an excuse to look at her face, but it’s as if she’s deliberately making sure not to turn her head. Probably pissed off that I held her hand and then decided not to sit next to her on the bus. It’s fucking torture, but it’s for the best. I can’t let her think I’m into her. When, you know, I totally am.
The gates open and a woman wearing a white shirt, black waistcoat, and skirt offers us a tray of what looks like mini poppadum’s, encouraging the dip. I take it, too polite to refuse, and throw it into my mouth. Fuck, that’s gross. Like mint, lavender and…is that melon? Bitter and vinegary. The tour guide is filming us so I force it down with a smile.
A guy is standing next to the woman. He’s dressed in a white embroidered shirt, playing what looks like a sort of bagpipe. It’s blaring out a ridiculously folky song. Cut it out mate.
Next, we’re offered a drink called Orujo, poured into a little clay pot, like a shot. I take it, but look at it dubiously. The last time I did shots that I wasn’t sure about I ended up being shaken awake by a cleaner on a train.
‘Spanish fire water!’ the waiter says excitedly. ‘Very, very good.’
Erica’s suddenly by my side, taking one. I can’t chicken out now. I lock eyes with her before downing it. She swallows before knocking hers back.
‘You know what we call that drink?’ the tour guide asks me, a big stupid grin on her face.
‘Err, no,’ I admit, smiling at Erica comically.
‘It’s Spanish viagra!’
She bursts out laughing. Shit. Nothing like being told you’ve just done Viagra and might have a hard cock all night, to really embarrass you. I can feel my cheeks redden, but I try to shrug, styling it out as best I can.
Evelyn takes her hand, pulling her away. ‘Come on, let’s get some wine,’ she says with warning in her eyes.
Why is she always so up in our business?
We’re given small clay jugs to fill up with wine from kegs, or we can pay for beer. Free wine it is then. We find our seats under a covered courtyard. There’s a large fire roaring in the centre, rugs hung from the walls, and lanterns flickering. The sun is already starting to set and my stomach tells me I need to eat soon or I’m going to be shit-faced.
The gang sit down with us next to a long rectangular table. Erica is at the opposite end. Every time I look up she’s staring at me, but then quickly looks away. It’s getting my dick hard. Well, that or the Viagra drink.
The food smells lovely but tastes disgusting. The others eat some of it but I can just about stomach eating some of the sour tasting bread. I end up filling up on wine which I know I’m going to regret later.
A band dressed in all black come on stage. The main singer is wearing a long black leather coat making her look like a Matrix reject. They start playing a Benny Hill song. Well that’s a weird bloody choice.
Soon Spanish dancers come out in black trousers and white shirts, holding sticks and wearing the most random masks with long pointed noses. Well, that’s slightly terrifying. Bells jingle every time they move. It’s a bit like Morris dancing. I wonder if they stole it from us or the other way around?
Some milkmaid looking women with bushy eyebrows join them, skipping along next to them. They start swinging their partners around like they’re country and western dancing. Sweet baby Jesus, if this is what Spanish courting is like here, how can anyone be arsed getting laid? Goes on forever.
If I never hear an accordion for the rest of my life it’ll be too soon. They drag us up from the table and make us all hold hands, dancing around in a long circle. I look to who’s got my hand and see that it’s Erica. I grin. I don’t know whether it’s the Viagra water or the buckets of wine I’ve had, but I feel myself pulling her away from everyone as we round a corner.
Erica
He pulls me into a dark corner and crushes me against the wall, pinning me with his hips. I barely get a chance to look into his glorious face, attempting desperately to keep my emotions under control, before he’s kissing me. It happens quickly, but the kiss itself isn’t rushed. It’s patient, slow and deep. I open my mouth, encouraging his tongue to move past my lips and tangle with mine. Holy fuck, he’s only got better at kissing. I didn’t think it was possible.
His hands are tenderly wrapped around my face, causing my cheeks to tingle. It’s as if he’s cherishing me. It makes my stomach curl up and purr in delight.
After what feels like nowhere near long enough, he pulls his face back, a wide smile on it. I pant, completely out of breath. I wonder if I’ve actually been holding it?
‘Sorry, but I couldn’t last any longer.’ His voice is husky and he appears out of breath. At least it’s not just me.
‘Th...that’s okay,’ I mumble, like an idiot. Way to look intelligent, Erica.
He smiles endearingly at me. ‘Come on. Before they notice we’ve gone.’ He grabs my hand and seamlessly integrates us back into the line of hand holders, leaving me no time to process what the hell just happened. Does this mean he’s into me? Or just presently horny?<
br />
We all break off into normal dancing, a lot more pissed than when we arrived. Jack and the boys sit at the table, being typical moody men. I can’t help glancing back every now and again. Every time I do he’s watching me. It’s like I can feel my face glowing in delight every time I catch him. I put an extra shake into my hips just for him.
‘Right,’ Alice says, grabbing my hand and looking at me before frantically checking her watch. ‘The coach is picking us up soon. I suggest we get as rat-arsed as possible so we don’t have panic attacks.’
I know she’s only half joking; she’s a nervous passenger at the best of times. I’m worried myself. That was him driving in daylight. Now it’s pitch black I dread to think how shocking the journey will be.
‘Ooh good plan.’
We fill our jugs up as high as we can and use our water bottles so we can bring some with us for the journey. By the time the tour guide finds us to tell us that there is fire walking before loading onto the bus, everyone is three sheets to the wind.
Whoa, I suddenly feel shit-faced myself; like I’ve been hit by a bus. I stagger out, following the others who stand around the embers of the gone out fire. Jack grabs my hand, pulling me discreetly beside him. He glances up at the sky.
‘Look at the stars, Eric.’
I glance up, but I’m not looking at the beautiful starlit sky; I’m watching him taking them all in. He’s always had a thing about stars.
‘Hey, do you remember when we first stargazed?’ he whispers in my ears.
I nod, flushing at the memory of it.
A couple of nights into our caravan holiday we’d hatched a plan to escape the parents and went into Burnham-On-Sea’s small high street. We got served in a bar before the manager arrived and busted us. On our way home we cut through the graveyard to get back quicker. It was uphill so I insisted on sitting for a second on a bench.
He’d gazed up at the stars, his arm wrapped around my shoulders.
‘Look at the stars, Eric.’
Excess Baggage Page 5
