Bethia
Page 5
“Strange that she never sensed your fear. Will she allow me to pet her?” Bethia assessed the animal, her eyes alight with excitement.
“Allow her to come to you. The reason she never sensed my fear is that I was never afraid of her.” He moved another step closer to Bethia, letting the animal know that he accepted her.
“Never? My sister Lily is special with animals, too. She has two pet wolves that come and go. I thought she was the only one who had that talent. She named her wolves. Have you named her yet?”
Donnan quirked his brow at her. He’d never considered naming the wolf, probably because he didn’t consider the animal his. “I’ll give you that pleasure. You have special talents of your own, Bethia. Do not discount them. Come, I’ll find Wynda. I assume ‘tis why you’re here. If Wolf wishes to make your acquaintance, she’ll follow us.” He led her back through the trees to his property, placing his hand on the small of her back to make sure she walked ahead of him.
“Shewolf will not bother my horse? She can be skittish around wolves.”
“Is that your thoughtful name for her? Shewolf?”
She laughed, “Nay, but it’s what I’ll call her until I think of one.”
He glanced back over his shoulder, surprised to see the animal was directly behind him. “Nay, I think she’s more interested in you than your horse.” He chuckled. “And I mean that in a good way.”
“As long as I’m not her dinner.”
“Never. Your sire allowed you to come alone? I see you have guards, but no close family member to watch over you…or mayhap me.” He gave her a side grin, secretly pleased she’d come alone.
“Aye. But only because my uncle has so many patrols out for Bearchun. Torrian is leading one and Kyle another. Molly and Tormod have been sent to Edinburgh to see what they can uncover there. After everything Bearchun has done to our clan, he has become Uncle Logan’s nemesis. He will not stop until he finds him.” She shuddered, jerking her shoulders up and down. “I do not wish to be a witness to when he finds the lout.”
Once they reached the clearing, Wynda, Wika, and Morda hurried to Bethia’s side, tails wagging. Apparently, his pets were as enchanted by the lass as he was.
“Greetings, dear ones.” She sat on the large boulder, allowing the dogs to surround her.
He watched her as she gave equal attention to each one while Shewolf stood back a safe distance. Donnan fell back to stand beside the wolf and said, “She’s worth knowing, Shewolf. After all, she thinks enough of you to want to name you.” He tipped his head toward Bethia. “Go ahead.”
The beast glanced up at him and slowly made her way closer to Bethia. She held her hand out to the wolf, her fingers folded over, protected from a possible bite. Shewolf sniffed her, then licked her hand before dipping her head in a show of submission. A huge smile stretched Donnan’s face, understanding exactly how the animal felt in Bethia’s presence. He was not surprised that even the wildest of beasts fell prey to her spell.
The wolf’s muzzle nudged Bethia’s hand, so she rubbed her behind her ear. “I’ll have to find a name for you, dear one, won’t I? Or mayhap Shewolf does suit you, after all. ‘Tis rather majestic, I think. It reminds us all that you are, in fact, one of the most powerful beasts, does it not?”
The wolf glanced at her, then turned around and took her leave.
“Did I offend her?” she asked with a grimace.
“Nay, ‘tis the way she is. She comes and goes at will. Has done for over a year now. I believe she protects us all from whatever is out there, but ‘tis a mistake to think a wolf will have the same loyalty or affection for people that a dog has.”
Bethia patted her lap and said, “Wynda, come.”
Wynda plopped her chin in Bethia’s lap, her eyes gazing up at her and her tail wagging vigorously. “She’s better, Donnan? Back to normal?”
He knelt down and picked up the Deerhound, careful not to touch her healing wound. He turned Wynda onto her back to give Bethia a good view of the stitches she’d placed. “I feared they were going to fester, but they seem clear today. I’ve not seen anything green at all.”
“Good.” She reached into her satchel and pulled out her container of poultice and applied another thin layer, whispering words to Wynda as she worked.
Donnan was lost all over again. Hell, had he ever seen anyone as beautiful, as gentle, as alluring as Bethia Ramsay?
Once she finished putting all her supplies back into her satchel, she folded her hands in her lap and said, “I owe you another thanks for coming to the hall the other evening, and yet another for my bouquet of flowers. They are quite beautiful.”
Donnan didn’t know what to say other than a quick, “You’re welcome.” He got up abruptly, made his way to the stream, and filled the bucket he kept there with fresh water so she could wash her hands. When he returned, he sent off the dogs and left the bucket at her feet. He sat on the boulder beside the one where she’d perched and, not wanting her to leave yet, asked her a question that had been on his mind recently. “Bearchun. Tell me what you know of him.”
Her entire body tensed while she leaned over to wash her hands in the bucket. “Why do you ask?”
She sat up, her back as straight as an arrow. The mere mention of the man had changed her entire countenance. He wished to kill the bastard with his bare hands.
“I’d like to know more about the man I’m seeking. Your uncle told me verra little about him.”
“I don’t think he intended for you to search for him, just to be aware. As I said, they have many searches planned for him today and into the night. My uncle will not let up until he finds the man. I don’t think ‘twould be wise for you to search for him by yourself. He’s known to travel with others. Even if you saw him alone before, they think he’ll be gathering men to help him. He’s already hurt dear Wynda. Do not give him the chance to hurt the other dogs…or you. Allow the Ramsay warriors to go after him.” Her body seemed to quake with terror, though she did her best to hide it.
This was the same lass who’d trusted a wolf with her life…
“Mayhap not, but I’d like to hear more about him.” He took her hand in his, rubbing his thumb across the smooth skin on the back. “I’ll not let him reach you here.”
She peered up at him and swallowed before she began her tale. “He came into my chamber one night with his cousin Shaw. I awakened and stared at him, not knowing who he was. It was so dark, and I could make no sense of aught until…until he grabbed my wee sister and shoved her in a sack after he forced her to drink a draught. She kicked and screamed and he hit her. The other one did the same to Brigid. Neither my sister nor my cousin recall much after that until the next day. It all happened so quickly, before I could…I didn’t know…I was so frightened…”
“Hush, sweet one.” He set his finger under her chin and said, “You did naught wrong. ‘Twas their fault, not yours.”
“I know, but had I screamed that first moment, had I yelled or something, mayhap it would have ended differently. ‘Twas all so fast. All I could do was sob.”
He hated to ask this question, but he had to. “Did he touch you?”
“Aye. He tied me up, put something around my mouth to keep me from screaming. The men left as soon as they tied me up. I could do naught. It felt like two days passed before anyone found me, but ‘twas probably only an hour. I’ve never been so frightened.”
“Still?”
“Aye.” Tears misted her eyes, but she swiped at them. “I cannot disagree with my uncle. Bearchun will not give up. He’s fallen in with MacNiven and Buchan and Shaw, all of our enemies. ‘Tis why I travel with so many guards and why they continue their pursuit of him.”
“Bethia, this I will do for you.” She lifted her gaze to his, so trusting, so innocent. “I promise I’ll find him and put an end to your fear.”
“But…”
“Hush.” He leaned over and pressed his lips to hers, molding them to hers for a brief moment to let her know how
much he meant it. He ended the kiss and said, “I’ll not let him hurt you.”
“But why? I’m naught to you.”
The words dug into him like knives. Mayhap he’d like for her to be something to him. He wasn’t ready to say so, but he found himself saying more than he’d planned. “I owe you for saving my dog. There’s another reason. I know what fear and pain can do to a person, and I’ll not allow it to happen to you.”
He held his hand out to her, wanting to change the subject. “Come inside. I didn’t get to show you everything when your sire was here. That is, if the guards will allow us.” Two guards were on horseback with their backs to the two of them, nervously checking the surroundings of Donnan’s property. The rest were searching the periphery instead of staying in one spot.
“My uncle’s talk of Bearchun’s cunning has worried them. I believe they are more afraid of that blackguard trying to steal me away than aught you would do to me.”
He didn’t like that sound of that and gave her a questioning look.
“I’ve traveled with them many times. They believe I’m here to treat your animals. Truthfully, they stopped worrying about my reputation a year or two ago. No one has ever approached me inappropriately. I’m the animal healer. As long as they can see me, they’ll be fine.”
“But I wish to take you inside. Will they not follow?”
“Nay.” She stopped and turned toward one of the guards. “Tonn, I go to the stable to check on the horses.”
Tonn waved his hand toward her, never taking his eyes off the trees in the distance. “Aye, my lady.”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Do you see what I mean?”
“Aye,” Donnan said with a frown, “but I’d like to go teach him a thing or two.”
She said, “Nay, then I’ll not be allowed inside to see more of your creations, and I so want to see more. You are quite talented.”
He scowled, but there was no denying that he wished for her to accompany him inside. She said, “Your home is much larger than any of the Ramsay cottages.”
“It seems I cannot stop myself. I keep adding more.” He pointed to the steps and the platform outside his door, “Watch your step.”
Donnan smiled at her once they were both inside. “I know you were pleased with my main chamber, but I’d like to show you my favorite place in the house. It took me quite a while to complete, but I think you’ll like it.”
She followed him deeper into the house without question, not even pausing to consider the impropriety of being alone with a man in his home. Her gaze eagerly took in the artful etchings on the walls, the wood carvings in his chairs, and the thick furs pulled back from each window. When she passed through his sleeping chamber, she took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet scent of heather that permeated the chamber from his mattress. Somehow she’d missed another feature of his bedchamber. She grinned and said, “Oh, Donnan.” There was a small bed, built low to the ground and piled high with furs, beside the much larger one. It could only be for his dogs. All three could easily sleep there, especially given the way the dogs loved to sleep on top of one another, though she also noticed an even smaller sleeping area in the corner of the chamber.
He followed her gaze and said, “When one of them is unwell. Wynda has been sleeping there.”
“But you have the pen outside?”
“‘Tis for when I travel. I want them outside protecting my property, but for there to be cover available to them in case of bad weather. There’s a small opening they can crawl through into the barn.”
The man seemed to have thought of everything.
They moved into the back chamber, and she heard the sound of rushing water, as if a waterfall ran behind one of the walls. She glanced at the number of contraptions lining the chamber, and her face lit up when she noticed the large tub in the center of the chamber. “Oh my.” Her smile widened just as he’d hoped it would.
“You like to bathe?”
She tipped her head up to him, her eyes wide as she nodded.
“Good, because I rarely use it.”
“Then why did you build it?”
“It keeps me busy. Allow me to explain. I do not like to bathe in tubs but prefer to stand under the waterfall in the summer. One of the reasons I chose this location is because there is a small waterfall directly behind us. My sire and I had often discussed the benefits of building near a water source, and a waterfall seemed perfect. But I could only use the waterfall to wash in the warm months. I wanted to be able to use it even in the depths of winter. After much thought, I found a way to build a channel that hooks under the ledge of the waterfall. Whenever I push this lever, it brings the water into the corner of my chamber.” He pointed to a contraption he had built into the wall. There was some sort of wheel attached to it. “In the dead of winter after a heavy snow, this can be verra strong so I had to find a way to slow the force of it.”
He stood in the center and showed her every contraption he’d created, explaining its use and the thought he’d put behind it. “If I stand here over the hole in the floor, I can bathe standing up, or I can attach it to this conduit to bring the flow of water into the bathing tub or to fill my buckets for cooking and drinking.”
She pointed to a tub at the side of the room. “What is that used for?”
“My back gets tired from washing my clothes in the stream. I dump the buckets of water into it and I have a place to soak or wash my clothes. There’s a plug in the bottom with a hole underneath to drain the water out.”
She stared at him. “Donnan, you thought of all of this?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “After Glenna left me, I quit the lists and came out here to be alone. I had to do something. These are all things that make my life easier.”
They made their way back into the first chamber and Bethia squeezed his hand, her head angled toward the floor as she considered all she’d just seen. What he wished more than anything was to know exactly what went on in that bright mind of hers.
She surprised him. With a look that shot straight to his heart, she whispered, “What really happened to you, Donnan?”
Chapter Seven
Bethia caught the flash of pain in Donnan’s eyes before he covered it. He probably didn’t realize she often watched animals for the same reaction, only Donnan’s pain had a much deeper root than anything she’d seen before. He pulled his hand away from hers, another indication of his discomfort.
He opened the door and whistled for Wynda to come inside, but left the others out. He settled in a chair at the table and indicated for her to sit opposite him. “What do you mean ‘what really happened’ to me?” He reached for Wynda, who’d returned to sit at his feet, rubbing her ear.
“I’ve heard you lost your wife, but I don’t think that’s all of it. Tell me why you’ve run from people to animals.” She knew her words might be hurtful, but if he understood her at all, he would accept them for what they were—an attempt at assistance.
“Is that what you think I do? Run to animals?”
“It appears you do, but I don’t think ‘tis the entire story. Why do you live alone out here?” She hated to prod him, but she needed to know the truth.
He sighed and ran his fingers through his thick beard. “Mayhap what they say is true. Mayhap I have turned daft.” He stared at the ground.
“Donnan? Please don’t shut me out.” She wanted to know so much more about this brilliant man. Why he lived alone. Why he was so closed off from the rest of the clan, yet so loving with animals. Why he admired her.
“Aye, ‘tis true I lost my wife to another, but we were already broken. I was broken. ‘Twas no surprise to her or to me when she left.”
She paused, hoping he would keep talking. She didn’t have to wait long.
“I lost more than my wife. We lost our newborn son a few moons before she left.”
Bethia’s hand flew to her throat. “Donnan, I’m so sorry. I know not what to say.” What a tragic event for anyone to endure.
“Mama just said you’d had a difficult time with your wife. Naught more. What happened?”
“We woke up one morn to find him dead. Your mother came to us, but there was naught she could do.” The expression on his face broke her heart. Even his shoulders and the tension in his jaw told her how hard it was for him to even talk about the tragedy that had torn his life apart—the tragedy that had driven him to seek out the life of a loner.
She thought she understood why. Losing another person would be too painful for someone with a heart as soft as Donnan’s.
“How long ago?”
“Two and a half years. I tried to move past it, but I’ve never dealt with such pain. Glenna left me for another man’s arms a few moons later. I do not blame her. If I could find a way to ease my pain, I would. But I could not fathom marrying again, putting myself at risk of another loss. I’d not survive it. I’m sorry, Bethia. It was foolish of me to hope otherwise. I like you, but…”
Bethia stared at her hands. How could he ever love someone again after what he’d endured? She would not settle for anything but love. Perhaps she was foolish, but she wished to be in love and have it returned.
A relationship with Donnan would never work. This was the reason he’d been so hesitant around her despite his obvious interest, the reason he’d run out of the great hall as soon as he’d heard someone call him daft Donnan.
He must still be addled by the pain of losing both his wife and son. He had run away because he knew it was the truth.
Now, so did Bethia.
***
Bethia entered the kitchens to speak with her mother. After leaving Donnan’s house the day before, she’d cried almost all the way home. She hadn’t been able to discuss Donnan because her heart was broken for him.
Her mother had invited two suitors to a quiet supper so they could get to know Bethia better. The guards, Bothan and Henson, would arrive shortly, but Bethia’s mind was on Donnan. She needed to speak with her mother about him.