Accidentally Overweight

by Libby Weaver

  If you worry that you don’t eat enough vegetables for optimum health, focus on increasing your intake of plants. Whole foods are best. Or you can juice pure vegetables. Or make smoothies so you get the whole plant. You might prefer to use one small piece of fruit in these drinks initially for taste but aim to reduce the fruit content over time. Or if you travel or are busy, and making smoothies is not going to happen for you, use an organic green drink powder (usually made from ground-up vegetables) available from health food stores.

  Eat less. Reduce your portion size by one quarter, especially in the evening if you overeat, and see how you feel.

  Wake your stomach acid up before eating by using lemon juice in warm water or apple cider vinegar (ACV) before meals, breakfast in particular.

  Drink water between meals, not with meals.

  Use the strategies throughout Accidentally Overweight to ensure efficient bowel evacuation.

  Omit a food you feel you cannot live without for a trial period of four weeks. The first four to seven days will be the most difficult but persevere. The results may be enormously worth it.

  Use a herbal anti-parasitic if your digestion challenges began after a gut infection. This is best guided by an experienced health professional.

  Working with a wonderful TCM practitioner can also assist you heal your gut.

  Apply food-combining principles if this appeals and utilize the zigzag principle if that makes it more sustainable.

  Try aloe vera juice to start your day if you have a particularly irritated gut.

  Bone broth contains substances that can assist with healing gut integrity and is a nutrient-dense food.

  Look at your food while you eat it. Do not read or watch TV while you eat.

  Eat in a calm state.

  * * *

  Puzzle Piece 1 Calories

  Most of us have been taught that body shape and size are simply a matter of calories in versus calories burned. For many of us, in the early part of our lives at least, this appears to be true. Yet for some, eating less or exercising more may not seem to make the difference it once did, or perhaps ever did. For some, it makes no difference at all and no matter whether they put in maximum effort or zilch with food or exercise, their bodies remain overweight or in a state of constant expansion. People can be very quick to blame age, but if age were truly a factor then surely every 80-year-old would be overweight. Instead, what I have witnessed every day of my working life is the impact numerous body systems have on our metabolism—either as a result of lifestyle choices, life experiences, or pressure, whether real or perceived. Most frequently, all of these factors play a role. Only without emotion would our body shape and size be completely reliant on the calorie equation.

  You know you need to eat less…

  You cannot eat like a piglet and expect everything to fall into place. That’s just common sense. You would have to have had your head buried in the sand for the past 30 years not to know we need to eat more fresh fruits and vegetables and fewer processed foods, and we all know it’s not healthy to sit down all day. Yet I have met thousands of people who exercise frequently, often intensely—many even every day of the week—and still their body-fat levels don’t change or, heaven forbid, they slowly increase. It saddens me to hear stories of people who have made a great commitment to eat well and exercise regularly, yet their bodies don’t change. If you set out on your healthy regime to drop a clothes size and this doesn’t happen, it can be disheartening. When that happens, people often throw all of their good intentions and better choices out the window. We forget about the other important benefits of exercise, such as improved bone density, lymphatic stimulation, clarity of thought, improved circulation, and, potentially, a deeper connection with nature, to name but a few. Just because we haven’t dropped a clothes size or been noticeably rewarded for our efforts, we can easily wonder what the point is and give up.

  Most humans are very black and white when it comes to food and exercise. Either we commit to regular exercise and eating well—choosing healthy meals and not much, if any, processed food or takeout—or we are sitting on the couch, not caring about what we put into our mouths, thinking to ourselves as we reach for the fourth chocolate cookie, “Oh, who cares, I’ve already blown it.” For most people, real life happens somewhere in the gray area in between these two extremes. The problem is that even though we set out with a commitment to eat well and exercise regularly, too often we don’t put an end date or review date on our plan.

  Plenty of people make big decisions to eat well and exercise regularly only to find themselves, three weeks later, after a late day at work, buying takeout, polishing off a bottle of wine, falling asleep on the couch, and topping it all off by skipping exercise the morning after. Having made a decision three weeks ago to eat well and exercise regularly, most people will then berate themselves, feel like they have failed, and feel flat as a pancake in their mood. Yet if your best friend came into work the next day and described the challenging afternoon she’d had at work the day before, combined with the fact that she worked late, bought a takeout, polished off a bottle of wine, fell asleep on the couch, and didn’t get up for morning exercise despite the fact that she’d told herself weeks earlier that she was going to eat well and exercise regularly… what would you say to her? Perhaps something along the lines, “Oh don’t worry, you’ll be all right. Today is a new day.” Or perhaps something more like, “It was just one night, does it really matter?” Or “Did you enjoy yourself?”

  Yet when we do it, we feel like it’s the end of the world. And when you’re buried up to your neck in guilt, feeling like it is the end of the world, are you more or less likely to make better food choices the following evening? Exactly. You’re far more likely to do it all over again because you feel like you’ve ruined it. But you haven’t ruined anything. If, on the other hand, you see what unfolded the night before as a part of life, or as already in the past, or good for your soul, you are far more likely to grin and then take better care of yourself the next night and get back into your movement the following morning. If you dig yourself into a hole filled with guilt, self-loathing, and frustration, it may be days, weeks, months, or even years before you step up and commit to looking after your physical health again. See the night before for what it was… one night—a “gray” night. This is part of real life for most people. And I can tell you right now that the guilt you feel and the harsh self-talk are far worse for you than any chocolate cookie will ever be. It is what you do every day that has an impact on your health, not what you do sometimes. You would never berate a friend the way you berate yourself.

  Commit this statement to memory: Without your health, you have nothing. For so many, it takes a crisis before they sit back and reflect on what they’ve known for a long time: Lifestyle changes needed to be made. You’re probably even thinking of whatever it is you need to change as you read this. Whether this change is to eat less sugar or drink less caffeine or alcohol, you know better than anyone. You don’t need me to tell you. You know in your own heart when you are having too much of something and it is taking away from your health or quality of life. Make these changes now. Not tomorrow, not on Monday, right now. You know better than any health professional the changes you need to make. And as you continue through this book, different issues will begin to come up for you. As you read, things will fly into your head that are relevant to you. For example, you may know you need to eat less sugar, or perhaps you know that coffee doesn’t suit you since it makes your heart race and you get the shakes when you drink it. If this is the kind of physical reaction you have, do you really think your body is saying to you, “Gosh, I’m glad you drank that”?

  Your body does not have a voice. It can only give you symptoms to let you know whether it is happy or not. So pay attention to the signals your body gives you. Take reflux as an example. If there is a food that gives you reflux, think about what reflux is: You swallow some food and your body is bringing it back up. Do you really th
ink your body is saying, “I’m so glad you just ate that, please eat some more”? No, it’s expressing just the opposite! Your brain will sometimes try to override your body with comments such as, “Oh, but I love it, I can’t not eat that food,” convincing you that your love of a certain food is more important than any discomfort the consumption of that food may cause.

  When it comes to food, we think in black and white. Your body isn’t saying you’re never going to eat this food again. It’s simply saying, “Not right now, not today, perhaps not even next week—but not necessarily never again.” Although, depending on the food, sometimes “never again” would be the best choice for your health and longevity! Reduce, or take a break from, the foods and drinks you know do not serve you well. Or only eat them when you know you are calm and able to eat slowly or when you are in great company. Keep in mind that it is what you do every day that impacts your health, not what you do sometimes, and see if that makes a difference. Support digestive processes in the ways suggested in the previous chapter and see if that makes a difference. But do not relentlessly continue consuming the food or drinks that drive your body to speak to you with negative consequences. No matter what, make an attempt to truly hear your body.

  Food was designed to energize and nourish us. Yet many of us seem to have forgotten that. If you feel like you need to fall asleep after a meal, then that meal may not have served you (unless it was high in substances such as tryptophan, that actually induce sleep). Pay attention to how food makes you feel. Notice if a meal that is denser with protein or fats, or a meal that is higher in carbohydrates, energizes you or makes you feel lethargic. There is no easier time to do this than at breakfast. Does an egg at breakfast energize and sustain you? Or does it nauseate you? Notice these things. Does a grain-based breakfast, porridge, for example, sustain you through to lunchtime, or are you gasping for morning tea only an hour after you eat? Does porridge make you sleepy, or does it make you feel like you could run a marathon? Pay attention. Food is designed to energize you, not exhaust you. A great question to ask yourself before you eat is, “Will this nourish me?” This is something that can be answered from a nutritional perspective, which reflects on the food’s vitamin and mineral content, or from a “soul” perspective. Sometimes eating (organic!) chips with a glass of (organic, preservative-free!) wine in the company of your dearest friends is the best thing ever. But, from my perspective, just not every day! You get the idea.

  Sometimes you can’t stop—emotional overeating

  Finish this sentence: Food is…

  For so many people, the type of word they use to finish this sentence is one relating to pleasure. For example, food is… delicious. Food is… amazing. Food is… yummy. If I ask an athlete that question, they will almost always say food is fuel or food is energy. My own response to that question is “food is nourishment.” It is nourishment for my body, mind, and soul. A chef I know says food is love. A child I know says food is to make me big and strong. What’s the point of this question?

  If the answer is a word linked to pleasure, you are far more likely to over consume. My next question, if you answered with a pleasure word, would be to explore what else in your life currently gives you pleasure. Because if I am going to suggest you change the way you eat and, without realizing it, I suggest you avoid eating all the foods you link to pleasure, we need to help you identify activities or states of being that can replace the pleasure you find in that food, or you won’t be able to stick to the plans we make. This is one of the main reasons diets don’t work. Food is never the problem. It is the reason behind your poor food choices or desire for large portions that needs exploring and adjusting. Many of the people who have battled their weight for a long time don’t believe they have easy access to other pleasurable thoughts or activities. Food is the easy option. Trouble is, pleasure on the lips is short-lived because deep inside they know what they are eating, or the way they are eating, is hurting them. They just don’t know how to change it.

  An athlete for whom food is simply fuel will rarely overeat to the point that it damages their health or performance. Granted, they may miss out on the pleasure that an appreciation of the combination of amazing colors, flavors, and textures on a plate can offer, but someone who views food as fuel rarely eats too much. For me, with the question “Will this nourish me?” the one I unconsciously ask before consuming anything (not that I realized this until I started working with people to help solve their health challenges), I almost always choose, without thinking, the nutrient-rich, real-food option, and I love every mouthful. In other words, the pleasure factor for me when I choose whole foods is enormous. I just don’t consciously think about it. My subconscious focus is the nourishment. There are times, of course, when I will sit with some organic corn chips in a bowl while I look out across the ocean and, in that moment, the whole scene acts as nourishment for my soul. There is no guilt, no second thought about whether I made a good choice to eat corn chips—and my body size is not affected by a bowl of corn chips on the occasions I choose to eat them. I don’t think like that. I pay attention while I eat. I notice and appreciate the crunch of every mouthful I take, and I’m focused on how grateful I feel for the vista in front of me.

  This concept of being grateful and experiencing pleasure is important. If all I did was tell you to eat less, then, if you are a “food is pleasure” person, you may feel challenged to sustain this long-term. When you first change your diet and start eating nutrient-rich foods instead of processed, high-sugar, trans-fat laden non-foods, you need to be able to connect with, or focus on, something you are grateful for. It might be the shine in your child’s eyes, your dog’s playful nature, ears that can hear, eyes that can see, fingers that can touch, a nose that can smell, a roof over your head, or the magnificence of the day you are a part of… but focus on the things that light up your heart while you eat, and your brain will start to link your new way of eating to pleasure.

  Some people know they eat too much. They know there is too much total food going in for them to be able to manage their body size, but—no matter how many promises of dietary change they make to themselves—they never seem able to follow through. They feel unable to control what they think is their appetite. Without them realizing it, this appetite for food is nearly always an appetite to feel differently, to feel an emotion other than the one wanting to rear its head. Yet at the time all they know is that they feel like eating lots of ice cream!

  Say someone is eating too much—perhaps in the form of too many crackers with cheese before dinner, a big dinner itself, or a bucket of chocolate ice cream after dinner. If I meet with them for a one-on-one consultation and suggest they do this less often or not at all, they would do it for a period of time, partly because they had made an appointment to come and see me and they may have had to wait, they have paid me money for the consultation and so on, so there is a degree of commitment to the dietary changes we design. Because I’ve seen this pattern countless times, I use the consultation to begin immediately to discover whether the drive for the additional food is physical or emotional or, most likely, both.

  On a physical level, chunks of cheese on way too many crackers may relieve dire hunger, yet if that person had eaten afternoon tea they would almost certainly be able to wait until dinner without inhaling a pre-dinner dinner of cheese and crackers. But with an inadequate lunch, or no afternoon tea, by the time they arrive home, many people’s blood sugar is likely to be through the floor, something that makes most people feel like they could eat their arm off. Instead of that, they simply polish off way too many crackers and cheese. If your need is physical and fueled by low blood sugar then it is a physical pattern that we need to address.

  But what could be an example of the emotional drive to eat? Eating when you can’t possibly be hungry. Most of us know, of course, that eating a whole tub of ice cream after dinner is not only not good for our health but usually doesn’t make us feel good by the time we have finished. Although you’ve
eaten dinner, and on a physical level can’t be hungry, you might still feel like you are. Perhaps you’re in the habit of eating after dinner every evening, and every evening you go to bed feeling uncomfortable and lousy and berating yourself. Lying there in discomfort, you pledge that you won’t overeat again tomorrow night. And in the morning you stand by your pledge. You eat very well all day. You don’t snack before dinner—even though you feel like it—you eat your dinner, and then, not long after, you start thinking about ice cream. The argument begins in your head… “I’ll just have one spoonful. Only one. Not the whole container. I know I said I wouldn’t. But I really feel like it. What’s one bite?” Something inside you knows that if you start, you won’t stop. But still you start. You eat one, then two, and, before you know it, you are no longer thinking. And then the ice cream is gone. You’ve done it again. And then the self-loathing kicks in. You are bloated and uncomfortable, and you hate yourself. The situation seems hopeless. After nights, weeks, years, or even decades of discomfort, you feel as though you will never be able to stop eating, and you feel as if you will never be able to lose any of your body fat. You tell yourself you have no discipline, yet you need to remember that all you are doing is meeting an emotional need.

  Trouble is, many people are unaware of how they really feel or would prefer to deny the anger or sadness, for example, which is just below the surface. Their perception is that it is “safer” not to acknowledge it. We are governed by how we feel and our every drive is for survival.

  Understanding why you overeat