Not Alone

by Frederic Martin

  Wu didn’t answer, he just opened the door and bounced in. “Man, you lazy bum!” said Wu. “Some people live in luxury, being able to sleep in all the time. Do you know what time it is?”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” said Will, “I just couldn’t get to sleep last night.”

  “Well maybe you shouldn’t be up partying all night,” said Wu. “But hey, it seems my new little sister is suddenly interested in you. She taped this to my door last night.” He handed Will a folded piece of paper. On the outside, it said “Wu.” Inside it said simply—

  “I assumed she meant you, but maybe she meant it as an existential question?”

  Will rolled back on his bed and tried to act surprised. “Huh, she must have seen us when we got back from the park.” Will knew very well that “who” was him, but he didn’t tell Wu as much. “Well, it looks like she at least knows English and can write.”

  Wu sat on the floor and said “Yeah, and that’s not all. She also left a note for Ma Beth in the kitchen. She said she was sorry for breaking the remote and wanted to know what she could do to make up for it.”

  “And she seems to have a sense of right and wrong,” said Will.

  “Yeah,” said Wu, “And at least she is communicating now. She still waited until after breakfast to sneak down for leftovers, though,” “And she did clean up after herself which is more than can be said of me.”

  Will picked up on Wu’s chiss. Wu was a “leaker.” That’s what his family called normal people whose chiss was easy to pick up. Of course, most normal people leaked chiss, but some people’s chiss was so quiet you couldn’t make out the words. It was more like a murmur. Others were like loud whispers that you could pick up clearly if there wasn’t a lot of other noise around. Wu’s were easy to pick up. Sometimes too easy.

  “So did you reply to her?” Will asked.

  “I put a note under her door. That seems to be how she likes to communicate. I just wrote one word—‘Will.’ I figured she likes short and sweet, and that is about as short as it gets.” Then Wu snorted. “Who. Will. Who, will, what, when, where? Maybe that will be her answer ‘what?’” He started chuckling.

  “So this is how she communicates with everyone? Even Ma Beth?” Will asked, ignoring Wu’s chuckling. “Why doesn’t she text or email?”

  “She doesn’t have a computer yet, and you know we don’t have phones except the two prepaid phones we share. Pa Bill lives in the Stone Age. God, it’s 2011, you’d think we’d at least get to have our own phones. We’re lucky we even have laptops, and the state helps pay for those. So just notes for now, except Ma Beth actually talked to her through the door after smashing the remote.”

  “Well that’s a start, I guess,” said Will.

  So now at least she knew his name. He wasn’t quite sure what should come next. Since she showed some curiosity about him, maybe he would just wait and see what she did next.

  He didn’t have to wait long. That very afternoon when Wu stopped by to meet Will for a game of basketball down at the park, he handed Will an envelope. On the outside was written,

  “I’m impressed,” said Wu. “She is here only four days, sees you from her window only once or twice and boom! you are part of her inner circle. She needs to work on her etiquette, though. I almost gave it back to her, asking for the ‘magic word’, but Ma Beth said to go easy on her these early days. So here you go. In a sealed envelope no less.”

  Will opened the note. There was one word,

  The word flashed through him like a wave of hot flame. He couldn’t believe it. All the doubts evaporated with just that one word. She was real. Will suddenly felt very light and alive. He wanted to shout and pump his fists but Wu was standing right there. Wu knew nothing about his family’s particular talent, no one did, but Wu was his best friend, and he couldn’t just blow him off.

  “It just says ‘hey’,” said Will and he showed Wu the note. He barely kept a quiver out of his voice. He did his best to sound honestly puzzled, “What do you suppose that means?”

  Wu shrugged. “I don’t know. Weird. Just ‘hey’, huh?” He looked thoughtful for a moment and then said with conviction, “Head-hard case. She’s one of the family.”

  Will did his best to hide his sigh of relief. Wu had just taken it in stride. It struck Will how brilliant the note was. Blue must have known that Wu might see it, but it gave nothing away, and yet it told Will everything.

  Will knew he should say something. “How about I just write her a note and say ‘hey’ back, and see where it goes? It seems that she wants to communicate with notes. The only question is—can she put more than two words in one note?”

  “Hah hah. The question is, can you? It’s a wonder you even made it to high school. Maybe you could write ‘hey hey.’”

  “Very funny.” Will gave Wu a shove.

  What Will actually wrote that evening was this:

  He would give it to Wu in the morning to slip under Blue’s door. In a sealed envelope.

  6

  Is It Possible?

  Blue read Will’s note and sat down on the bed carefully. She was not sure what pot of emotions had just been stirred up, but she had difficulty keeping a cap on the pressure that she felt pushing up from her chest. It was that feeling of hope and optimism that had been beaten into submission so many times in the past. This was someone who knew! She couldn’t believe that there was actually someone else out there who knew! Knew what it was like to be disbelieved, knew what it was like to hear things no one else heard, to be enveloped with chiss all the time, to hear other people’s thoughts and emotions and not able to express her own!

  She wasn’t sure what to do next. Part of her was waiting for the inevitable drop of the ‘other shoe’, the fly in the ointment, the ‘catch.’ It always happened. Something good would come to her, and then it would get taken away, or broken, or followed immediately by something bad. It was like a rule, and if she broke the rule, like relaxing and enjoying the moment and being happy, then the disappointment that followed would be doubly painful.

  She didn’t want to break the rule. This was way too good to spoil. She decided to pre-empt the rule. She was going to be careful. What was the flaw, what was she missing? Maybe this kid would turn out to be a jerk. Like Julian. That would figure, just when she finds the first person of her own kind, a boy no less, he turns out to be an ass. But he was friends with Wu, and Wu was a good person. She had already determined that. The flaw had to be something else. Well, she would just have to wait and see what that was, but she was not going to let it catch her off guard. Oh no, those days were behind her.

  Next day, Will slept in again—this time, it was for real sleep. As he sat there awake with the warming summer breeze coming in his window, he thought about what was going to happen next. He had no idea what to expect. This girl could be a psycho. After all, she’s gone through four foster families, went berserk on a remote control, and holes up in her room all the time. Yet with just the contents of those few notes, he could tell there was a sharp intelligence there. She was clever. She communicated a lot with just the few words she had produced. But there wasn’t much more he could do, with her secure in her little tower up there on the third floor—Rapunzel unwilling to let down her hair. Just notes.

  Someone knocked softly on his door.

  “I think 10 a.m. is a safe time to knock on your door,” came his mother’s voice. “Are you awake?”

  “Yeah, I’m awake,” said Will trying to sound like he had just woken up.

  “Can I come in?” asked his mother.

  “Sure,” Will replied.

  She walked over to his bed and said, “I can see you are taking full advantage of your week off!” “Good for you!” She handed him an envelope. “Wu dropped this off, said it was from the new girl over there. Blue is her name?”

  “Yeah,” said Will.

  His mother looked thoughtful for a second and then asked, “So what is with the notes?”

  Will decided to confi
de in her a little bit. “Wu says she just holes up in her room and will only communicate in notes. She doesn’t even come down for meals”

  “Goodness,” said his mom, “How does she eat?”

  Such a ‘Mom’ thing to say, Will thought.

  “She sneaks down and grabs leftovers from the fridge. Wu says she always manages to do it when nobody notices. They say her nickname is ‘Little Fox’. Wu actually kind of thinks it’s cool how she manages it.”

  “Well,” said his mom, “I just hope she is getting enough to eat.”

  She handed him the envelope, and written on the outside it said,

  Will noted the “please” this time. His mom hung around hopefully. Will looked up and gave her a “fat chance” and his mom responded, “Worth a try . . .” over her shoulder as she left, closing the door behind her.

  He opened the envelope envisioning Blue’s room stacked to the ceiling with blank notes and envelopes. He read:

  What is that supposed to mean? ‘What’s your M.O.?’ There went his pleasant, late sleep-in mood. Why can’t she be a little more explicit? He knew it meant modus operandi. Blue was asking him what he was up to. What was he up to? He was just trying to be friendly, especially to someone he now knew was, well, one of his ‘kind.’ He also wanted to let her know that she wasn’t the only one that was holed up all the time, that he had been craving someone outside his family that he could fully relate to.

  But at least he had a family. Jesus. He couldn’t imagine what it would have been like to lose your family and be this way with absolutely no one knowing what was going on. He tried to think about what it was like when he was ten years old. All he could remember is that he relied completely on his parents for everything. How would he have handled losing his parents at ten years old? He didn’t have a clue.

  This was getting frustrating. He wanted to talk to her. He meant real talk—with words and thoughts, not just notes. He wrote a note, got up, got dressed and headed to the O’Days. This note he was going to deliver himself.

  “Hello Mr. Will Woods,” said Mrs. O’Day. “I suppose you’d be looking for Wu?”

  “Hi Mrs. O’Day,” said Will. “Yes, is Wu around?” Will had come to the O’Day’s back screen door which opened straight into the kitchen.

  “Well, he went down to the park just after breakfast, as usual. I am sure he would like some company,” said Mrs. O’Day. “Have you had breakfast yet? Would you like to come in for a bite before you go down?”

  “No thanks, Mrs. O’Day. I just ate. I came over to give this note to Blue. She asked me a question with a note Wu brought over, and I wrote her an answer. Seems like that’s how she likes to communicate.” He didn’t know why, but he felt a little shy and nervous about talking to Mrs. O’Day about Blue.

  “Well, you go right on up. She’s on the third floor. Don’t bother knocking. Just slip the note under the door. She likes to be by herself, but I think she’ll come out of her shell by and by.”

  Will hesitated but then went through the kitchen to the rec room and up the back stairway. It was odd that he felt out of place delivering this note in a house that was so familiar to him. He always felt like it was a second home, but now it seemed like a stranger’s house. He saw Nate coming down the stairs and said, “Hey Nate,” as usual and Nate replied, “Hey Will,” as usual, but Will still felt awkward.

  He climbed up the attic stairs and stood in front of the familiar door. What was once a vacant hideout for he and Wu now belonged to Blue. He raised his hand to knock, but hesitated. Should he talk to her now? Or just let her read the note and wait until she responded? His earlier resolve to talk to her had evaporated. He was actually nervous. Why? She was just a girl. Not even fifteen. There was no reason he should be nervous, but he was. He quickly slipped the note under the door. He would just wait for her to send a reply note through Wu. As he turned to head back down the stairs, he heard a movement behind the door. He stopped. Even though he really didn’t want to be there now, he waited. There was a sound of paper being picked up, then unfolded, and then a pause.

  The door opened and there was Blue. It was the same girl he had seen in the window, but now it was associated with the rest of her. The girl that stood in front of him now had a face with a small nose, dark eyebrows, well-defined jawline, prominent cheekbones, and long dark hair. She was smaller than he expected. And younger looking. The expression on her face was hard to read. She looked him in the eye for a moment and then a single word formed in his head. The tone of it was fresh—light and melodic, almost foreign. The word was, “Okay.” Blue stood still for just an instant, and then she shut the door.

  Will stood there for a moment. The eyes were eyes he knew. There was absolutely no doubt now. She had actually voxed him. Vox oculis. Eyes speaking to eyes. This was the first real vox from someone who was not his family that he had ever heard.

  What the next step was, he wasn’t sure. Should he knock on her door and see if she wanted to, what . . . talk? Vox? Play basketball? Hug? Cry? He wanted to knock but wasn’t sure what to say. Maybe this was enough. His legs seemed to agree. Without him even thinking about it, they carried him down the stairs and out the front door and they didn’t stop until they got all the way to the park.

  Blue had heard Will come to the kitchen door downstairs and talk to Mrs. O’Day. She could hear most everything that went on in the house. It seemed alive with the movements and activity, and the more she got to know its workings, the easier she could get around and avoid who she wanted to avoid.

  She heard footsteps on the stairs, and a, “Hey Nate,” and, “Hey Will.” She heard the fourteen footsteps up her stair and waited for the note. It appeared below her door. She silently picked it up, opened it, and read:

  She debated a moment and then made up her mind. She went to the door, opened it, and looked right into Will’s eyes. Using her eyes, her vox, she said, “Okay,” and shut the door, but before she did she couldn’t help noticing the brightness of his eyes. It has been four and a half years since she had last seen eyes like that. She hesitated—she really wanted to open the door and call after him to . . . to what? Talk to him? Stare at his eyes? Hug him as a long lost brother?

  She didn’t know what to do. She felt lost, confused. All her emotions started clamoring for her attention. She had to get this under control, but this was so new, she didn’t know the right thing to do. She read the note again and leaned back against the door and let herself slide to the floor. A rush of heat started enveloping her like a warm wave. She instinctively started to suppress it. She knew she had to jump on these emotional waves early or they would get out of control. Out of control emotions led to bad things. But this was different. It wasn’t panic. It wasn’t fear. It wasn’t sadness. It was like a warm hug. It was comfortable. It was making her feel . . . hopeful. She decided to let it ride. She sat there for a long time, and the warm feeling sat there with her and kept her company.

  7

  Blue Fits In

  Ma Beth walked into the kitchen to start dinner. She loved this part of the day. The rhythm of cooking was something she looked forward to—the challenge of the timing, the lining up of the spices, the coordination of the pots and pans, the precise chopping motions, the gradual, yet inevitable transformation of raw ingredients from individual flavors to a symphony of taste in a grand presentation to the family.

  Tonight was chicken casserole and she made two huge pans of it so there was a chance of having leftovers for lunch the next day. She made a big salad and baited it with croutons and bits of real bacon she had saved from breakfast. The boys wouldn’t touch a green otherwise, but these magic ingredients seemed to transform the salad into something acceptable to them. Anything to attract them to some vegetables was good enough for her.

  Dinnertime was always early, just after Pa Bill got home and changed out of his post office uniform. That made for plenty of time after dinner for family time in the big room off the kitchen. Ma Beth never had to worry about setting
the table or clean-up. The kids did it without asking. She didn’t know how that had come about—just one day she noticed that she didn’t have to ask anyone to do the before or after dinner duties. She went to tell one of the kids to set the table, and it was already set. And after dinner one of the kids just started clearing the table. She asked Pa Bill about it, and he claimed he had no idea what was going on, and he advised her just to enjoy it while it lasted. That was about five years ago, and she hadn’t had to say a single thing since—even the new kids seemed to know what to do. She caught Nate signaling and giving stern glances from time to time to the younger kids, but never a complaint.

  She loved those kids.

  Tonight was no different. Dinnertime came and the table was set. As usual, it was set for everyone, including a place for Blue, even though she had yet to join them at dinner. As usual, when it came time to sit down, Blue’s place was empty. Ma Beth sighed. She was a patient woman, but that didn’t keep her from worrying and being sad at times. Blue was feeding herself and taking care of herself, she knew, and how she did it without anyone seeing her was impressive, but Ma Beth hoped it wouldn’t go on forever like that. Each night she hoped that Blue would show up. Tonight did not look like it was going to be the night. Oh well, she thought, the show must go on.