All the Crown's Shadows

by Emily Rose

  The guards grabbed Harvey by her arms, dragging her tiny body out of the cot. She screamed. It was a scream I had never heard before. One of pure terror. True agony.

  I don’t remember running after her. I don’t remember anything that happened after that, actually. Nothing until the fight began. And I was right there, watching it all happen. I don’t remember walking through the corridor. I don’t even remember Soren letting me through the giant, wooden doors into the stands of spectators.

  But I was there. I would not leave Harvey alone. I had to stop this. I had to do something. Where was Aiden?

  Harvey looked terrified. She was no fighter. She was no enemy of the King. She was just a girl. A broken, kidnapped girl from the outskirts of Aslan.

  They had given her a small knife. No doubt the sword was too heavy for her small arms. My Harvey. My little, sweet Harvey. My heart was racing. I shoved myself into the crowd, up to the front row. Nobody seemed to notice how wrong this way. This was Champion’s week, why was Harvey even chosen to fight? She would not survive against a Champion. There was absolutely no chance. I couldn’t feel my body.

  When dealing with something unbearable, the body has its own way of preserving its function. The heart rate spikes. The skin becomes sweaty. I imagine it’s as if you’re a small deer being hunted. Any instinct you ever have bursts to life. To protect you. To keep you alive.

  I could not know what Harvey was truly thinking at that moment, but I had an idea. She was probably thinking of her parents, looking for her somewhere in the woods. She probably thought of her cat, and of her old life back home. I wondered if she thought of me. Did she think I just abandoned her after she was dragged from her bed? Did she think I was going to jump in at any moment, like I had done with Riley in his fight with Bane? I gaged the distance between the crowd and the fighting platform. It would be a big jump, but not impossible. Especially if I could get past the guards that were spread around the perimeter of the crowd.

  When Harvey’s opponent stepped into the ring, my instincts overpowered my thoughts.

  Harvey’s opponent was something entirely more terrifying than most fighters I had seen. For starters, she was fighting a man. But not just a man. Every bone in my body snapped to life in its presence. It was evil. Pure evil. My memory snapped back to the fight I had with Bane in the Courtyard, the way his eyes filled with the darkness of the evil spirits. The uncontrollable evil harnessed only by the King himself. This man held that evil. He walked with exact precision, as if his movements were being controlled.

  The blood curdling scream coming from Harvey’s mouth is what did it, is what truly broke me. I didn’t know a heartbreak would cause physical pain. I didn’t understand the concept of it.

  I grabbed at my chest instinctively. I felt pain.

  Unbearable pain.

  It took one disgusting sound of the beginning bell to snap back to focus.

  This was no time for thinking.

  I had to save Harvey.

  The first person I looked for in the crowd was King Xavier. I had to kill him. Killing him would have to stop the evilness that radiated from her opponent. I don’t know if it was the sudden surge of emotion I was feeling, or the pure hatred that flooded every inch of my body, but I moved through the crowd silently.

  Swiftly.

  I had a mission.

  King Xavier was only a few feet away. If I ever had my chance at killing him, this was it.

  I readied myself. My heart rate pulsed. My body moved with agility. Power. I was closer to him with every passing second. So close. Only a few people away when--

  Aiden.

  He stepped into my path, facing me.

  “Not now,” he whispered.

  His eyes were wild. I could hardly hear him over the screams and cheers of the crowd. The beast match was entertaining for them. How barbaric.

  “Yes, now,” I hissed back. How could he do this to me? How could he let Harvey be taken into a fight, against this beast of a human? He was supposed to protect her!

  Aiden could never understand. He had never protected anybody. Never stood up for anyone. I took Harvey under my wing when I arrived here. I did everything that I could to protect her from this. She didn’t deserve this. Maybe I did. Maybe this was how the gods chose to punish me for the choices I had made in my life. The shadows that haunted me.

  But not Harvey. This wasn’t her fight. This would not be her ending. She would not become one of my shadows.

  I would not allow it.

  Fire fueled my veins. Desperate, painful anguish flooded every aspect of my being. I could hardly hear Aiden speaking to me over the sound of blood pumping through me. I had to access my flame. With Aiden so close to me, I could almost feel the flame tingling my hands. When he wrapped his arms around my body, pinning mine to my sides, my heat began to dissipate just as quickly as it had arrived.

  He was stopping the flow of power, taking it for himself.

  We had shared the power once before, practicing in the tent with Isobel. The simple fact was that Aiden, acting as my anchor, could easily level out my magic.

  It wasn’t fair.

  He didn’t understand. Any ounce of fight I had left was useless.

  My anger was replaced with anguish as I watched the girl in front of me fall to her knees in fear before her opponent. I didn’t need to watch what happened next, but I knew. The crowd roared. The man in the ring let out a satisfying growl. I couldn’t look at her. Tears wet my face, or maybe they had been there all along. The fight was over.

  Harvey would not be coming back to the cages that night.

  Soren came to my side as Aiden continued to pin my arms down, pulling all of my energy from my body. The cheer of the crowd overwhelmed my senses. My legs gave up as I leaned against Aiden. He was taking all of my strength from my body, leaving me with nothing but my despair. I didn’t hear what the two said to each other. Aiden was trying to talk to me, but I didn’t even try to focus. There was no point. I had failed. I didn’t try to fight as Soren quickly picked up my exhausted body, carrying me through the crowd and back to my own personal hell.

  ✽✽✽

  “You can’t just stay in here forever,” Riley spoke from outside the cage. His soft words echoed off the stone wall. Things seemed louder in here without Harvey. The cage seemed so big, so abandoned.

  Yes, I could stay in here forever. Nobody had bugged me all day, except for Riley. Even Aiden left me alone. I couldn’t show my face in the Courtyard again, not as the person I had become.

  Shame engulfed me as Riley stood there, waiting for a response. I’m not sure what he had expected. For me to save the day? To pretend like I hadn’t just stood there and done nothing while an innocent girl died?

  I had failed Harvey, and I was going to fail him too. Couldn’t he see that?

  “So you’re just gonna give up? What would Jax think of you, after everything you’ve been through!” Riley’s voice cracked at the end.

  If I could have felt any more pain in that moment, his words might have hurt. But they didn’t. My capacity for feeling anything had been decimated. “Just go,” I mumbled to him.

  I didn’t need to see the look on his face to know he was disappointed. And he should be disappointed in me.

  I couldn’t think of Jax.

  He wasn’t here, and thank the gods for that. Jax would’ve been able to do something about Harvey. In fact, he probably would have killed the King by now. What had I been doing? This whole time, I was parading around this castle like one of the King’s objects. Even the Prince had distracted me, prying my mind away from my original mission.

  I should have fought Aiden harder. I should have dug deeper, called out for Ophine. But I didn’t. I had failed. Harvey was dead. Soon enough, I would be dead, too.

  Riley left me alone after a while. Hopefully he realized what I had realized by now. I couldn’t save us.

  The same shadow followed me around. It was the same woman, the first girl I had ki
lled. I expected Harvey’s shadow to come soon enough, but it never did. Maybe the gods had some mercy on my soul, afterall.

  My body ached as I stood up from the cot. The bright, pulsing light outside told me it was about the middle of the day. My feet slowly dragged across the ground, toward the Courtyard. My shadow followed me, always lingering in the corner of my vision. She was taunting me. A constant reminder of my first kill, the first step in a vicious downward spiral.

  I didn’t even realize, until recently, how vile I had become. I killed mercilessly. I paraded around with the Champion brand, unaware of the damage I was causing. Was my life worth this? Was the King’s life worth this? Harvey’s life certainly was not.

  Dozens of eyes snapped in my direction as I entered the Courtyard. I kept my gaze down, heading in the direction of the showers. I didn’t need pity. I didn’t need company, either.

  My shadow sped up, walking directly beside me. In that moment, I realized just how frustrated I had become. Not only with myself, but with my past. My demons. “What do you want from me?” I whispered loud enough for only myself to hear. The shadow stopped walking, tilting its head slightly.

  I could not see the faces of the shadow, only the rough outline. But if I could, I’m sure this one would be smiling. Mocking me. Enjoying my misery. I couldn’t take it anymore.

  “WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?” I screamed at the shadow, my voice scratching my throat. Everyone in the Courtyard heard. Not only was I a disappointment, but everyone thought I was crazy. Just perfect.

  Defeat. That’s what I felt. And hopelessness. The shadow did not move as I dropped to my knees, letting a sob escape me. I didn’t care if the fighters saw. I didn’t care that I was a Champion, and that the King was still alive. I was not worthy of living. Not anymore.

  The distant smell of roses interrupted my thoughts. I was not the only one to blame. Aiden knew Harvey was going to fight, and he did nothing to help. He stopped me from saving her life out of fear. Fear of his own father. What a coward.

  His face came into view in front of me. If I was capable of feeling anger right now, I would have felt it. But I couldn’t bring myself to care enough. Anger took too much energy. Honestly, I was surprised he even spoke to me in public anymore. The perfect Prince shouldn’t be seen with such a monster.

  “Ruby, are you okay?” he whispered. “Look, I’m sorry, but-”

  “I don’t care, Aiden. I don’t care about fighting. I don’t care about the King. And I don’t care about you. How could you let this happen?”

  Pain flashed across his face. It was quick, but I had become an expert in pain. I saw it clearly, but he covered it up within a second. I wish I felt satisfaction. I wish I felt anything other than emptiness.

  “You have to listen to me.” He grabbed my face, forcing me to look at him. The heat that pulsed from his hands didn’t even faze me. “It’s not what you think.”

  “What isn’t? The fact that you stopped me from saving Harvey? Stole the power when I needed it the most?”

  “No! Well, yes. I-”

  “You can never understand real loss, Aiden. Find a different way to save the King from the evil spirits or whatever. I can’t believe I ever trusted you.”

  “Will you just shut up! Gods above, Ruby! For one moment will you please just listen to someone other than yourself!”

  He spoke in a hushed tone, loud enough for only me to hear. Embarrassment flushed up my neck. He continued talking. “I can’t talk about it here, but there’s something you should know. I’ll come to your cage later tonight. Just stop looking so crazy, you’re starting to really worry me.”

  And with that, he stood up and walked away. I can’t believe he actually had the audacity to say that I looked crazy. Yes, I was crazy. I was a murderer, I was a failure, and now, I was being haunted. Crazy was an understatement.

  I didn’t look toward the other Champions. No doubt, they would all be staring. Aiden’s voice echoed a few commands in their general direction. This was all such a waste of time. All the training, the brands, the dinner. It was just prolonging what we all had coming: death.

  “So now you leave your bed, huh?” Riley stood a few feet in front of me, hands on his scrawny hips. “I’m tired of eating breakfast alone. Come on.”

  He held his hand out to me in a kind gesture. When had he gotten so old? So mature? A harsh realization hit me. Maybe I couldn’t save Harvey. But Riley was still here. And as long as this stubborn, scrawny boy from Sundown still held on to hope, so would I.

  “Fine,” I said, taking his hand and standing up. “But you’re carrying my food.”

  Riley’s grin was contagious. It almost made me smile back at him. Almost.

  16 The Enemy Betrayal

  “There’s nothing you can say to me, Aiden,” I said to him as he entered my cage. I waited all day for him to show up here, his words from earlier ringing in my memory. The fact that he even thought he could fix this was astonishing. “The damage is done.” I didn’t even move from where I sat on my bed.

  He walked forward and sat next to me. I could feel the warmth from his body just inches away. The same person I had trusted just days before in the Shadow Forest had betrayed me, I couldn’t forget that.

  “It’s not what you think it is, Ruby. I couldn’t risk telling you with everyone watching.”

  I snapped my head in his direction. “Tell me what?”

  He took a deep breath and looked at me. “Harvey’s not dead. She’s here in the castle, I just had to make everyone think she was dead.”

  I could hardly hear what he was saying over the ringing in my ears. Harvey was alive? “But how? I saw her in the ring against that… man.” The memory of Harvey in the ring sent a chill through my body.

  “I knew my father was going to be up to something. When he announced his plan to match a girl and boy fighter against each other, I tried to speak up. But he wouldn’t listen. He was determined to host more fights this week.” His pale skin flushed as she spoke. Still, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

  “So Harvey’s here? Can I see her?”

  “Soon. She was beat up pretty badly in the fight, there was no way around that. But with some help from the guards, we were able to make it look like she was dead. She’s safe now.”

  “Did nobody else notice the evil connection between the fighter and your father?” I asked as I remembered the way his black eyes glared into Harvey. She must have been so scared.

  “Even if they did, I’m sure they would be too afraid to mention it to my father.”

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, letting the words sink into my body. Harvey was safe, but now we had an even bigger problem on our hands. The King’s evil.

  “Gods above, Aiden,” I said as I let out a huff of air. “I was so pissed at you, I could’ve killed you! You should’ve told me!”

  He laughed quietly. “I’m sorry, Ruby. I really am. I would never take your magic like that unless it was absolutely necessary.” I turned my body toward his, taking in every last detail of his face. Aiden had saved Harvey’s life. For me. He hardly knew anything about me, yet he was willing to risk everything to save someone I loved. A tingling feeling creeped through me.

  This was the Aiden I knew. I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face. “You did a good thing, Aiden,” I said as I leaned sideways and placed my head on his shoulder. The familiar smell of roses flooded my senses, slowing my heart rate. “Better be careful. Someone’s going to think you’re actually a nice guy.”

  When Aiden didn’t react to my joke, I lifted my head and looked at him. His face was just inches from mine, close enough for me to see every emotion that he was feeling.

  He lifted his hand and placed it on my neck, his thumb lifting my chin.

  “You’re amazing, Ruby. Unlike anyone I’ve ever met,” he whispered. “For you, I would do anything.”

  I didn’t even have time to take a breath before he brought his lips down to mine. A fiery un
ion of two incredibly lonely people. I sank into his touch, letting him take the lead. His lips were soft and warm against mine, yet it was so different than what I had experienced with Jax. Because this was Aiden. I didn’t have to hide from him. He knew the deepest, darkest parts of myself that I kept hidden from the world, and he still accepted me.

  All of my doubts melted away as Aiden pressed his lips harder into mine, deepening the kiss. I brought my hands up to his hair, pulling him closer to me. It felt normal. It felt right, like we were meant to do this all along. We stayed intertwined with each other in the darkness of the cages for what seemed like hours, only stopping for breath, until the flickering sunlight of the morning reflected through the harsh stone.

  “I should get going,” Aiden said, panting as he pulled away from me. His lips were red and swollen. “It probably won’t look too good if I’m seen here when the cages unlock.”

  I grabbed his hand to stop him as he stood up and walked towards the exit. “Wait, will you tell Harvey that I’m okay?”

  He smiled softly and leaned down to give me one last lingering kiss.

  Gods above, I could have kissed him forever.

  “I think she already knows that, but yes.”

  And with a wink, I was alone in the cages. I felt drunk off of everything that just happened. Harvey was alive. Aiden and I just kissed. Things were starting to look up.

  “I guess you’re still here. I won’t lie, it’s surprising.”

  Opal’s small figure formed right outside my cage. I only had to lift my head enough to see her long, dark hair in the hallway. It had only been a few hours since Aiden was in here. Could Opal smell the lingering roses, too? My heart sped up at the memory of Aiden’s lips on mine.

  “Don’t act so surprised,” I replied as I swung my legs to the side, sitting up in the dark room. “Shouldn’t you be training or annoying other people or something?”

  Opal closed the distance between us and sat across from me on Harvey’s old bed.