Global Warming Fun 4: They Taste Like Chicken

by Gary J. Davies

Chapter 7: The Immortals

  Without incident Jerry and his helicopter crew settled in comfortably for the night in the Jant Clan Longhouse cave, along with the regular Clan members including Ed and Mary. In the center of the longhouse were several refrigerator-sized mounds of earth that contained millions of jants. There were several special six inch in diameter jant-tunnels that led from there out to the Deck and to each greenhouse. After going to bed and most of the Jant Clan and jants had settled down including Mary, Jerry and Ed at last were able to silently carry on a one-on-one conversation telepathically as they rested in rooms only a few dozen feet apart.

  "ARE YOU REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT INTERPLANETARY SPACE TRAVEL?" Ed asked his old Virginia neighbor.

  "VERY SERIOUS, EVEN IF IT TAKES MORE THAN A CENTURY TO ACCOMPLISH," Jerry responded. "THE PROJECT WILL GIVE HUMANITY SOMETHING TO UNIFY AROUND AND STRIVE TOWARDS: SOMETHING FOR THEIR DECEDENT'S TO FINALLY ACHIEVE. TO GET THROUGH THE PRESENT WE NEED TO LOOK BEYOND CLIMATE CHANGE PROBLEMS TO OUR FUTURE, INCLUDING A FUTURE AMONG THE STARS. HUNDREDS OF EARTH-LIKE PLANETS HAVE BEEN IDENTIFIED SO FAR. WE NEED TO GET OURSELVES TO SOME OF THEM, EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE TENS OF LIGHT YEARS AWAY."

  "DID YOU PLAN ON GOING YOURSELF, JERRY?" Ed had to ask.

  "IF I LIVE THAT LONG; AND ALL INDICATIONS ARE THAT I'M NOT GOING TO DIE ANYTIME SOON FOR HEALTH REASONS," said Jerry. "AND NEITHER ARE YOU."

  "HAVE YOU FIGURED OUT WHY WE AREN'T AGING?" Ed asked.

  "NO."

  "BUT YOU'VE BEEN WORKING ON IT, RIGHT?" Ed wanted to know. "YOU DO HAVE CONTROL OF A BUNCH OF GOVERNMENT LABS NOW. ARE THEY WORKING ON IT?"

  "NO," pathed Jerry. "IN THE COURSE OF THE ARMY ANT INVASION AND THE FEDS ON MY TAIL I LOST TRACK OF THE DRUG MIXTURE WE WERE BOTH EXPOSED TO THAT DAY. BUT THAT IS JUST AS WELL. HOW WE GAINED OUR APPARENT IMMORTALITY WOULD BE DANGEROUS KNOWLEDGE AND HIGHLY DESTRUCTIVE IF IT SPREAD. I'M CONTENT TO REGARD IT AS A HAPPY ACCIDENT THAT NEED NOT BE REPEATED."

  "HAPPY!" Ed sputtered, almost too flabbergasted to focus his thoughts. "I WATCH ON HELPLESSLY AS MY LOVED ONES AGE AND DIE! YOU MAY VALUE YOUR IMMORTALITY JERRY, BUT I CERTAINLY DON'T! I WANT YOU TO FIND ME A CURE!"

  "REALLY?" Jerry responded, genuinely surprised. "SORRY ED, BUT FRANKLY, I'VE BEEN TOO OCCUPIED WITH OTHER THINGS. YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT THE BIGGER PICTURE."

  "DANDY. SUCH AS YOUR SPACE PROJECT, I SUPPOSE. WELL, I SUPPOSE YOUR SPACE PROJECT WOULD ALSO GIVE THE STONE-COATS AND JANTS SOMETHING TO OCCUPY THEM. THEIR BUY-IN ON A