Always a McBride

by Linda Turner

  Idiot! he silently chided himself. What the hell’s the matter with you? Since when did you let a woman tie you in knots? Especially one who doesn’t appear to be losing any sleep over you. You don’t hear her tossing and turning, do you? Forget this afternoon and what happened in that damn cave and go to sleep!

  He tried, but he was fighting a losing battle. Every time he closed his eyes, she was all he could see. Her smile, her laughter when Joe had tossed her the hot-water bottle he’d brought for her, the soft, heated passion he’d seen in her eyes when he’d kissed her—and he wanted her all over again.

  Swearing, he jerked down the zipper to his sleeping bag and threw it off. In the dark, he reached for his clothes and pulled them on, wishing he’d had the sense to bring his laptop. He could have at least gone over the weekly report his secretary had e-mailed him on some of the bigger cases his partners were handling while he was gone. Instead, all he had to read was an old paperback Western he’d found in the bookcase in his room at Phoebe’s grandmother’s. He didn’t usually have much time for fiction—especially Westerns—but anything that would take his mind off Phoebe tonight would do. Grabbing it from his overnight bag, he slipped quietly out of his tent.

  The last of the rain had cleared hours ago, leaving behind a night sky full of stars and a crescent moon. Joe had banked the campfire before everyone had turned in for the night, but the coals still had a glow that would spark into flames again with nothing more than a few small twigs. He saw thankfully that the damp wood that had been neatly stacked nearby was nearly dry. Hoping it would burn easily, he started to reach for a couple of branches, only to look up sharply when he caught sight of movement out of the corner of his eye.

  In the shadows of the night, he just caught a glimpse of a woman in the clearing fifty yards away, but he knew it was her. Phoebe. Even in the dark, with scant moonlight to illuminate the curve of her cheek, the glow of her wavy blond hair, he knew her as well as he knew the shape of his own hand.

  His common sense ordered him to turn around and go back to his tent…immediately! Everyone else was asleep—he had no business being alone with her. Not when he’d lain awake for the last two hours thinking of nothing but her.

  He prided himself on doing the right thing. He was a logical man—he liked to think that the only time he’d ever let his emotions control his life was when it had come to his father. He certainly hadn’t ever let a woman overcome his common sense. But instead of doing the smart thing and walking away, he headed straight for her.

  In the shadow of the surrounding mountains, Phoebe spread a blanket out on the ground in the middle of a clearing that was within a short walk of the camp, then settled down to stargaze. It had been a long day—she should have been exhausted. But when everyone had gone to bed and she’d crawled into her sleeping bag, her mind had refused to shut down enough for her to fall asleep. In desperation, she’d escaped outside, hoping she’d find some peace in the quiet of the night.

  The open field…and a view of the stars…drew her away from camp, to a clearing nearby that was bathed in the soft glow of the moon. Spreading out her sleeping bag, she sank down onto the ground and lifted her eyes to the sky full of stars. A soft breeze caressed her face, and for the first time in what seemed like hours, she smiled. This was just what she needed.

  Later, she couldn’t have said when she first realized she wasn’t alone. The night was as quiet as ever, the breeze that played with her hair little more than a sigh. She would have sworn nothing moved, but suddenly, she could feel the touch of eyes on her. She tried to tell herself that her imagination was playing tricks on her, but the goosebumps running up and down her arms were all too real. Had Elizabeth’s wolf followed them back to camp? she wondered suddenly. Did wolves eat people? Horrified at the thought, she jumped to her feet and whirled, half expecting to find herself face to face if not with Duke, then with a bear or some other wild animal. Instead, Taylor stood at the edge of the clearing, his silhouette just barely visible in the moonlight.

  Relieved, her knees melted. “Thank God!” she said with a shaky laugh as she sank down to the sleeping bag. “I thought you were a wolf!”

  Unable to take his eyes off her in the soft glow of the moonlight, Taylor said, “What are you doing out here by yourself?”

  “Stargazing,” she said simply. “I couldn’t sleep. I guess you couldn’t, either. What’s the matter? The ground’s too hard for you?”

  “Something like that,” he said dryly. “I’m not much of an outdoorsman.”

  “You do look as if you’d be more comfortable in a boardroom than a tent,” she replied with a smile. “So why’d you accept Zeke’s invitation to ride up here? He wouldn’t have been offended if you’d turned him down.”

  “Research,” he said, wincing at the lie that came easily to his tongue. “It’s easier to write about something you’ve experienced first-hand.”

  Guilt knotting in his gut, he half expected her to ask why he chose to write about something that obviously wasn’t his thing, but she was more trusting than that. “Well, you’ve certainly had that so far, and the weekend has barely started. First a storm in the mountain, then Duke. I know the whole purpose of the trip was to check on Elizabeth’s wolves, but I never really thought that we’d see one. It was so eerie the way he just appeared out of the mist that way, wasn’t it?”

  She had that look on her face, that same soft, pretty one that had been his undoing right after Duke had disappeared into the rain. He’d taken one look at her and lost his head. And he was doing it again. He had to get out of there!

  “Yeah,” he said gruffly. “Speaking of which, you were stargazing and I interrupted you. I’ll let you get back to it—”

  He turned back toward camp, but he’d only taken a step when she stopped him. “No! Wait!”

  Chapter 7

  “Phoebe, this isn’t smart.”

  “I know,” she said huskily. “Stay anyway. I want you to stargaze with me.”

  He shouldn’t. They both knew what would happen if he made the mistake of joining her on her sleeping bag, but she didn’t care. Couldn’t he feel how special the night was? The others may have been fifty yards away, but surrounded by the mountains and trees, with the moon and a sky full of stars above them, it felt like they were the only two people in the world. And there was nothing she wanted more than to spend the night with him.

  Even in the dark, in the glow of the moonlight, she knew he had to see that in her eyes, but she didn’t look away, didn’t hide the need that had been building in her ever since he’d kissed her. And that shocked her. She’d never been so bold in her life! Especially with a man who was so wrong for her. But from the moment they’d met, they had been dancing a slow, seductive dance around each other, making their way toward this moment in time. It was fate, karma, inevitable. Couldn’t he feel it?

  When he hesitated, she felt her heart sink. If he walked away, there was nothing she could do about it, but she refused to believe that he didn’t want her. She’d been on the receiving end of his kisses. She’d seen the passion in his eyes when he looked at her. But she wouldn’t ask him to stay again. She couldn’t. She did have some pride, and she’d gone as far as she could.

  His eyes locked with hers in the darkness, Taylor told himself that staying could be nothing but a mistake. It was late, he wasn’t thinking clearly, and if he went anywhere near her, he wouldn’t able to keep his hands to himself. If he had a lick of sense, he’d run, not walk, back to his tent.

  He knew that, accepted it and took a step. But it wasn’t away from her.

  He’d lost his mind—it was the only explanation. But if this was madness, he couldn’t regret it. Not now. Not when her hair caught the soft glow of the moonlight and she looked at him with a hesitancy that matched his own. She was as unsure as he, he realized, and just as confused by this need that sparked between them without rhyme or reason. And that only made him want her more.

  Later, he never remembered clos
ing the distance between them, but in the blink of an eye, he found himself standing at the edge of the sleeping bag she sat on. Holding out her hand to him, she smiled, and he felt a sigh of contentment ripple quietly through her. And once again, he felt the need to run…because it seemed as though he’d been waiting his whole life to hear a woman do that when his hand closed around hers.

  Before he could even think about running, however, she tugged gently at his hand, pulling him down to her. “Lie down with me,” she said huskily. “It’s the only way to really see the stars.”

  He could no more have resisted her than Elizabeth’s wolves could resist the call of the wild. Without a word, he sank down to his knees beside her and drew her down with him to the sleeping bag. A heartbeat later, he was flat on his back, staring up at the star-studded sky, lying shoulder to shoulder with her, their heads just inches apart as she pointed out to him the constellations in the vast sea of stars above them.

  “There’s the Big Dipper,” she said huskily. “See it? It’s beautiful! And so close! It looks as if you could just reach out and touch it.”

  Shifting slightly to follow the direction of her pointing finger, Taylor’s head came to rest against the cloud of her hair, and his senses scrambled. He couldn’t have seen the Big Dipper if it had been ten feet in front of his face. Between one heartbeat and the next, the elusive scent of ginger and peach and something that was uniquely her filled his lungs, teasing him, intoxicating him, heating his blood.

  His heart pounding, he rasped, “Where’s Orion?”

  “There,” she said softly, and turned to point to the constellation that was low in the night sky to the west of where they lay. In the time it took to blink, they lay face-to-face on the sleeping bag, so close they could see the anticipation reflected in each other’s eyes.

  Lying perfectly still, her breath catching in her lungs, Phoebe wanted him so badly, she ached. How long had she wanted him? Days? Weeks? Years before she’d even met him? She didn’t know how or why, but it seemed as though the knowledge of him had somehow always been there. She only had to look into his eyes to know that he was the one she had dreamed of all her life.

  She could fall in love with him.

  The knowledge whispered through the deep, dark corners of her soul and should have scared the hell out of her. He didn’t live in her world—when he left and returned to California, she didn’t want him to take her heart with him. But when he was this close, she couldn’t think, couldn’t guard her heart. She wanted him too badly. He reached for her, and the future seemed a long way away. There was only now…and Taylor. With a sigh that was his name, she melted into his arms.

  “We shouldn’t do this,” he murmured, echoing her thoughts, then covered her mouth with his.

  Stardust. His kiss tasted like stardust and magic and every dream she’d ever dreamed. The camp—and the others—were fifty yards away and asleep in their tents. They might as well have been on the other side of the moon. He gently wooed her, seducing her in a way no man ever had, and made her feel as if she was the only woman on earth.

  Her head spinning and her heart pounding, she clung to him and kissed him wildly. “Don’t stop. Please…”

  “I’m not going anywhere without you,” he rasped. “Let me make love to you.”

  She couldn’t refuse him, not when she wanted him as badly as he wanted her. He kissed her again and again, long, drugging kisses that stole her breath and heated her blood and made her ache. Their clothes melted away and their hands were free to touch, to stroke, to linger.

  He was driving her crazy. Bare skin rubbed against bare skin, and nothing had ever felt so good. She wanted the night to go on forever, but he knew just where to touch her to make her gasp, just where to kiss her to drive her over the edge. And she loved it.

  “Taylor!”

  It was the sound of his name on her lips that destroyed what was left of his unraveling control. She was so sweet, so giving! She held nothing back, kissing him, moving with him with a passion that drove him crazy. Need burned in his belly. On fire for her, he lost himself in her and only wanted more. A groan ripping from his throat, he rolled her under him and took the loving deeper.

  High up in the heavens, the stars glowed softly, silently, in the night, but Taylor never noticed. Every breath, every touch, every thought was focused on Phoebe and the pleasure he took in her. Making love had never been like this before. When she came apart in his arms, he was the one who came undone.

  Dawn was just a promise on the eastern horizon when they quietly made their way back to camp. Even then, Taylor didn’t want to let Phoebe go, and that shook him to the core. He wasn’t a man to linger after he’d made love to a woman. He’d never wanted to let anyone get that close to his emotions. But there was something about Phoebe….

  He told himself it was just sex, but he’d never been very good at lying to himself. In the predawn light, she was beautiful. Her hair was a mass of tossed curls, her mouth sweetly swollen from his kisses. When she hesitated outside her tent, her blue eyes lifting to his, he wanted to reach for her so badly, he could taste it. But if he touched her now, he knew he would never let her go.

  So he kept his hands to himself and cursed the dawn. “The others will be up soon,” he said quietly.

  No! Phoebe wanted to cry. She wasn’t ready for the night to end—or to walk away from the intimacy they’d shared. She needed him to hold her a little longer, to assure her that this wasn’t the only night that they were going to have together. But no promises had been given, no words of affection or caring whispered in the night. Was need all he’d felt?

  Afraid of the answer…and examining her own feelings too closely…she said huskily, “I guess I’d better go in, then. Good night.”

  She ached to kiss him one last time, but she couldn’t. So she turned and ducked into her tent, and never let him see the tears that suddenly welled in her eyes. Even though his own tent was only steps away, she’d never felt so lonely in her life.

  And that horrified her. What was wrong with her? She’d known when she made love with him that she was taking a risk. After all, when two people were that intimate, there was no way to remain emotionally distant. But she’d thought she could handle her feelings, thought she could enjoy the experience and still walk away with her heart intact. She’d been wrong.

  Stunned, she sank down onto her sleeping bag and called herself seven kinds of a fool. She had to be losing her mind. Taylor wasn’t the kind of man she could let herself care for. Aside from the fact that he was a writer, she knew next to nothing about him…except that he was everything she wasn’t. Driven, reserved, a loner. When the time came for him to leave, he would do so without a backward glance.

  The thought left her shaken, and that’s when she realized she couldn’t touch him again. She didn’t care how good a kisser he was or how he could melt her bones just by taking her into his arms, she couldn’t afford to go anywhere near him again. He was just too dangerous to her peace of mind. Not that she’d be able to avoid him completely, she assured herself. After all, he was a guest. She’d be friendly, but no friendlier than she would be with any other guest. Then when he left, he wouldn’t take her heart with him.

  She should have been relieved that she’d come up with a plan. But when she lay down on her sleeping bag to wait for the others to wake up, she might as well have saved herself the effort. Taylor was all she could think of.

  “Hey, are you okay?” Elizabeth asked with a worried frown as they saddled their horses and prepared to ride further into the canyon to look for the rest of her wolves. “You didn’t say two words during breakfast. Is something wrong?”

  All too aware of the fact that Taylor was well within hearing distance and had been watching her all morning with those dark, probing eyes of his, Phoebe forced a smile. “Will I sound like a city slicker if I admit that I’m a little stiff this morning? It’s been a while since I’ve ridden this much.”

  Relieved, Elizabeth chuckle
d. “Ah, so that’s it. A little saddle sore, are we? Thank God! I thought I was the only one.”

  “But you and Zeke come up here all the time and go camping, don’t you?” Phoebe said with a frown, surprised.

  “We did—before we had the kids,” Elizabeth admitted ruefully. “It’s not so easy once you’ve got a four-year-old and a toddler. We’ll have to wait until they’re a little older before they can make the trip.”

  Seeing her wistful smile, Phoebe said, “You miss it, don’t you? Being alone together up here?”

  Elizabeth didn’t deny it. “It was wonderful. Sometimes we stayed for weeks at a time.”

  Phoebe could well understand why. Last night, lying in Taylor’s arms and making love under the stars had been the most romantic evening of her life. If they’d been newlyweds, she would have wanted to stay there forever.

  Memories from last night tugged at her heart, and for a moment, she could almost feel the tenderness of his touch, taste the hunger of his kiss. Without even looking, she knew where he was at all times. She’d developed a sixth sense where he was concerned, and when she glanced over to where the men were saddling their own horses, she wasn’t surprised to find Taylor watching her. They’d been aware of each other’s every move all morning, and it was driving her crazy. Even though she’d resigned herself to the fact that she had to keep her distance, her body still ached for him. Given the least amount of encouragement, she would have walked into his arms.

  He, however, was as reserved as she and not the kind to make any kind of overture to her in front of the others. She should have been thankful. Wasn’t that what she wanted? Some time and space to get her head on straight? He wasn’t pushing her for anything more than they’d already shared or she was prepared to give. Why did that make her so unhappy? What was wrong with her?