Loyalty and War

by Devon Vesper

  “Just until we reach the wagon,” Valis said. “Thank you. It would be awkward as anything carrying Kerac and that heavy blanket.”

  Kerac stared at Aenali and muttered, “I can’t believe how that little weed has grown.” He playfully glared at the little girl and pointed a shaky finger at her. “You were so tiny when I last saw you, Aenali.”

  She grinned back at him and shrugged. “Can’t help it. You’ll get over it.”

  Kerac laughed so hard he ended up in a coughing fit. “Oh, Aenali,” he chuckled again and struggled to catch his breath. “How I have missed you.”

  “I missed you, too! But not as much as Valis. It took him forever to get over you and Darolen leaving.”

  “Let’s not talk about that,” Valis said. “We want Papa to have fun today, not worry about the past. Right?”

  “Right,” she chirped.

  When they entered Valis’s suite, Kerac gasped and when Valis looked, he had wet eyes as he looked around. “What’s wrong, Papa?”

  He sniffled but shook his head. “Nothing. It’s just…”

  “You forgot I’m married?”

  Kerac sighed. “Yes. And I missed it all over again. But your suite is stunning, Valis. I’m so glad you’ve taken the time to make it your own.”

  Valis sat him on the bed and kissed his temple. “It’s okay, Papa. I missed you, too.”

  Kerac smiled up at him and sighed. “Don’t worry about me, my son. Let us make today a fun day.”

  “That’s what I had planned.”

  He quickly grabbed his winter cloak, pinned it on, grabbed the one for Tavros and wrapped it around Aenali. She let out a belly laugh and glanced behind her. “It’s training behind me like I’m a princess!”

  “You are a princess,” Valis said. “Our princess.” He grinned and nodded toward the door. “Let’s go, your highness. We have things to do! Places to go!”

  He almost tripped on Tavros’s cloak, but they made it down to the monastery’s front steps and once Tavros relieved Aenali of his cloak, she made Valis kneel down so she could kiss Kerac’s cheek and then his. “Have fun!” Then she raced back inside, chased in by the chill of the morning.

  “We ready to go?” Tavros patted his horse and came back to Valis and Kerac. “How are we going to do this?”

  “Get in the back of the wagon, and I’ll hand him up to you. Then I’ll ride in the back with him while you drive.”

  Tavros grunted as he hauled himself into the back of the wagon and reached down. “Where are we going?”

  “The closest tree line,” Valis said as he handed Kerac up. “Other than that, we’ll see when we get there.”

  Kerac gasped, and when Valis looked into his eyes, he knew he had at least somewhat of an idea as to what Valis was doing, but he said nothing as he changed hands from Valis to Tavros, and then back into Valis’s when he pulled Kerac back against his chest and wrapped him in the thick blanket.

  The ride across the lake was soothing, as was the slow ride through the dangling fronds of the weeping whiptails. Valis had himself and Kerac situated so that they could see where they were going instead of back where they had been. And as soon as the forest’s rich colors filled their view, Valis leaned his head down and whispered to Kerac, “You once told me that you wished we had arrived at the monastery in autumn, because you wanted to show me the colors.”

  Kerac’s breath hitched, and he nodded.

  “Well, it took a while, but let’s do that now.”

  He cast his gaze forward and let the colors wash over him. The grass was still mostly green, not dead yet. But the trees… their leaves nearly blinded him with the array of red, gold, sunny orange, rust, and even a variety of pink and purple. And the crisp, cold air brought with it the scents of hearth fires, baked goods and so much life from the forest that Valis didn’t know how to contain it all. It wasn’t overwhelming, but it was close, like he wanted to capture this moment in time and have it painted, saved for the rest of his life, but devastated because he was no artist, didn’t know any, and he had no idea when he would see such colors again. Even if or when he did, it would never be the same. It would never be this moment again.

  “Thank you, my Valis,” Kerac said, his voice tight. “Oh, my son…”

  “I love you, Papa. Did you think I would forget something so important? It made you so emotional when you made that wish. I couldn’t forget even if I wanted to.”

  “I love you, too,” he whispered. “So much.”

  “You two okay back there?” Tavros called from the driver’s seat.

  “Yes,” Valis called back. “Take us a little closer to the trees, then park and join us. We can all cuddle under the blanket, and our body heat will help keep Papa warmer.”

  “Sounds good.”

  Once they parked and Tavros came to cuddle, Valis sighed and they all sat quietly while taking in the beauty of the forest as it prepared to sleep for the winter. A gust of wind blew through the canopy, sending a rainbow swirl of leaves to the forest floor. Valis squeezed Kerac as tight as he dared.

  “What troubles you?” Kerac asked. “You suddenly grew tense.”

  Valis sighed and told Kerac about his failed attempts at getting a mission to save Darolen sanctioned. “Brother Bachris keeps calling it a foolish mission and upset several Aesriphos when he confronted me about it. I’m pretty sure most of them were as pissed as I was, but better at keeping their emotions in check.”

  Kerac made a sympathetic noise. “I do not blame them, nor do I blame you. It is against our code to leave known captives in captivity if a rescue is even close to possible. He is asking every Aesriphos who was present during that confrontation to ignore the very code they have given their lives to uphold.”

  “Yeah. They mentioned that.” Valis sighed and adjusted the blanket when a breeze made Kerac shiver. “I’d go without a sanction, but I have a precognitive feeling that it needs to be sanctioned. And, most of the reliquary guards who are in support of the mission have made getting the mission sanctioned a requirement if they are to step in and accompany me.”

  “Then you go over Brother Bachris’s head.”

  “I would do that in a heartbeat, but I also have a precognitive feeling that getting Brother Bachris’s approval is also necessary. And that pisses me off to no end.”

  “You always were an impatient young man,” Kerac teased. “I see little has changed except your body.”

  Valis snorted and kissed the side of Kerac’s head. “Ass.”

  “I kn—”

  Kerac’s voice disappeared, as did the trees and the wagon. Valis gasped as he fell into the vision. Darkness started lightening. Whoever he inhabited opened their eyes, and they immediately began to burn, but he felt like the person was used to it. Then he noticed the stench and Valis’s stomach rolled.

  He was in Darolen’s body. His father glanced at the door where lamplight shone, getting stronger as footsteps grew louder. Darolen tensed, but tried to keep his face straight, his eyes defiant.

  It didn’t work.

  As soon as the door opened with the jangle of heavy keys, Darolen’s eyes went to the floor like a kicked dog. Valis had the distinct feeling that Darolen didn’t want to see his jailer’s face.

  Rough, gloved hands hauled Darolen up. They removed his shackles, but Darolen was too weak and emaciated to move, let alone fight.

  Another man entered and gagged. He dumped a bucket of ice-cold water over Darolen’s head. When he left, another man came in and did the same thing. After five buckets, the man who held him tucked Darolen’s slight body under his arm and carried him like a sack of grain out of the room.

  “Clean the filth, Carn.” The man’s grating voice made Darolen shiver. “The flies are getting into the rest of the holding, and the master wants to cut down on them.”

  “Yes, sir.” That man gagged again, but Darolen didn’t even twitch as the man with the grating voice carried him through endless halls and strapped him to a cross against a wa
ll.

  “Are you ready to talk?” He wrenched Darolen’s mouth open and poured tepid, stagnant water down his throat. Darolen choked down as much as he could, the rest trickling down the sides of his face. “We might feed you more if you give us the information we require.”

  When Darolen was silent for too long, that hand left his face. Only a moment later, a crack sounded, and searing pain erupted in a line across Darolen’s back. He cried out, his voice hoarse and weak. Wetness trickled down his back. Another crack, and Darolen’s head fell forward. When it touched the wood of the cross, Valis’s vision went dark again.

  “He’s shaking!”

  “It’s okay, Kerac. He’s only in a vision. He’s coming out of it. Are you hurt?”

  “No. I am fine. But he’s bleeding!”

  “He sometimes gets nosebleeds from visions. It’s normal. I promise.”

  Valis groaned and struggled to open his eyes. “Hear that? He’s waking. He can probably hear us now.”

  “Yes,” Valis wheezed.

  “His nose isn’t leaking anymore. Cuddle him while I drive. He’ll rouse more on his own now.”

  Tavros kissed Valis’s forehead. “I’ll get us home, love. Just hang on.”

  Valis felt Tavros manipulate his body so that he was still laying down, but Kerac’s head rested on his outstretched arm and he cuddled against Valis’s chest. Once Tavros tucked the blanket around them, Valis felt the wagon shift as Tavros got into the driver’s seat, and the rocking ensued as he drove them back toward Cadoras’s shore.

  “Valis?”

  Valis cleared his throat. “I can’t see yet, but I can hear you, and I’m coming around.”

  “Gods, I was so scared,” Kerac whispered.

  “I know, Papa. I’m safe, but I need to rest a moment.”

  “Of course.”

  While Kerac smoothed his bony fingers through Valis’s hair, Valis concentrated as hard as he could on Thyran and tried to break into his mind. He knew he succeeded when he started hearing the man’s thoughts.

  Thyran, I had another vision.

  Good Gods, boy. You nearly made me set myself on fire! Do not scare me like that!

  Valis chuckled in his mind and shivered, earning another pass of fingers through his hair from Kerac. I had a vision, Thyran. Tav and I took Kerac out to see the autumn leaves, so we’re on our way back to Cadoras. But I wanted to tell you before I forget.

  Go ahead, Thyran said. I am ready.

  Valis relayed the entire vision, speaking aloud for Kerac’s benefit while sending the thoughts to Thyran at the same time. When he finished, Thyran sighed. There is little we can do, but I have made note of it. Thank you, Valis.

  “Gods,” Kerac whispered thickly. “I should—”

  “Don’t you dare, Papa,” Valis said softly. “Darolen was so happy to hear that you’re safe. Your safety is giving him the strength to wait for help.”

  Kerac shivered. “I know.” He nuzzled into Valis’s arm as if trying to console him as best he could in his weakened state. “Do what is in your heart, Valis, and shine your heart onto those who oppose you. Just… remember. Sometimes those in power do know what is best. Not always, but… it is something to consider.”

  “Yeah,” Valis said on a sigh. “Not this time, though. Brother Bachris is wrong. And I will find a way to make him see soon. Very soon.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  The stench of refuse nearly choked him. No matter what he did, he couldn’t get it out of his nose. It rose up in a miasma so thick he tasted it with every breath, even when his mouth was closed.

  The cell door creaked open. Fear gripped him. He hadn’t heard the footsteps. Nor had he seen the light. Had he slept? Was he dreaming? A shudder of revulsion and fear swept through him, and all he could do was whisper prayers in his mind, begging Phaerith to make his suffering end, but also begging to be reunited with his husband and son again soon. It lapsed into the familiar mantra that had kept him going for these last months, kept his mind and heart strong, even as his body grew weak and frail, as his muscles disappeared, wasting away as his body repossessed the protein to fuel the rest of his body because he wasn’t getting anywhere near enough to eat.

  “Get him up,” said a man with a permanent snarl in his voice. “For fuck’s sake, you’re supposed to rinse him once a day. His shit is everywhere. Clean it up. Get the water and get him rinsed off so we can get him to the Master without dragging or dripping shit through the fucking halls.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Then the torture began. Water so cold it felt like needles poured over his head and body. Then they bundled him in a rough cloth. It abraded his already bruised and bleeding skin, but at least it offered him a bit of warmth.

  The largest man tucked him under an arm as if he were a child. He resolved himself, as he always did, not to cry out when the whip fell. They would not see more of his weakness. But, deep in his heart, he knew that was a lie he told himself just to get through his nerves.

  Only this time, they didn’t take him to the whipping room, as he’d come to call it. They kept walking, winding through halls until the cadence of their feet rocked him to sleep.

  A rough, hard hand smacked him so hard that he feared he’d broken his neck. “Wake up!”

  He blinked and shrank back from the blinding daylight. When was the last time he’d seen the sky? He couldn’t remember, and the harder he tried to figure it out, the more he wanted to fall to his knees and weep. But he was still held in an iron grasp. Only this time, it was shackles that held him to a pole, his arms over his head, and his ankles chained to the base instead of rough hands and burlap.

  He only now heard the calls and jeers from an amassed crowd. “Kill him! Beat him raw! Kill the Aesriphos!”

  It was a game to them, an amusement. Ending a life was fun for these people. The thought should have sickened him more than it did, but he felt so very far away from it all. The light was so blinding, and he tilted his head up to let the weak morning sun shine on his face, basking in its glow.

  “End him.” That voice… he didn’t know whose it was, but it sounded vaguely familiar. “Send him to Qos.”

  He didn’t register the pain at first. But then it flared, white hot across his throat. Sticky wetness coated his naked body as his life’s blood cascaded down in weak spurts.

  And the crowd cheered.

  Valis woke up screaming so hard that he tasted blood, and for a moment, he thought it was from a slit throat. His body shook. Tavros clutched him to his naked chest and petted his hair. “It’s okay, Valis. It’s okay. I’ve got you. You’re safe. You’re safe, love.”

  Hearing his lover’s voice settled something deep inside Valis and he sagged against Tavros until his husband settled them back down into bed. “Another nightmare.” It wasn’t a question. Valis had been having the same nightmare, or variations of it, since the night they’d found Kerac. “I’m so sorry, love.”

  “Me, too.” Valis cleared his throat and winced. “At least it means he’s still alive. I wouldn’t be dreaming of him dying if he’s already dead.”

  “These dreams may not even be precognitive,” Tavros murmured against his head. “They may just be your fears coming to the fore when you’re sleeping. It’s normal, especially when you’re stressed and scared. So, it may mean absolutely nothing except that your subconscious is being an asshole.”

  Valis groaned and rolled over, pushing Tavros onto his back so he could curl up on his husband’s chest. “That could be it. I’m not sure if it’s precognitive or not, because I’m so raw after waking that I can’t tell one way or the other.” He lowered his voice and cringed at how small he sounded. “I just want them to go away.”

  “I know, love. I wish I could make them go away for you.” His sigh ruffled Valis’s hair, and he kissed the crown of his head. “Need something to take your mind off it?”

  Tavros wrapped his arms tight about Valis’s back, rubbing warmth into his skin. He pulled the covers up a
round him, tucking them about his neck to cocoon Valis in warm bliss. “I know you haven’t been keen on sex in the morning after these nightmares, but perhaps going to the arena early and getting some exercise might help calm and soothe your mind enough that you’re not as tense during your classes as you have been this last week.”

  Valis groaned again and snuggled in closer. “That’s probably a good idea, but you just got me warm…”

  The bed shook with Tavros’s quiet laugh and he hugged Valis tighter. “We’ll go in half an hour. It’s still obscenely early.”

  “Then what are we going to do until we leave?”

  “I thought I just got you warm. I assumed you wanted to doze until we had to go.”

  Valis grunted and rubbed his eyes, trying to decide if he was ready to wake up or if he wanted to go back to sleep. “Ugh. Damn it. I don’t think I can nod off again.”

  “Then don’t,” Tavros said softly. “Just relax and rest with me. We don’t have to be moving at all times during our waking hours. Just let yourself be for a while.”

  “But that’s when the frustration starts getting to me,” Valis whispered. “I hate it.”

  “I know you do.” Tavros’s fingers trailed up and down Valis’s spine in a hypnotic rhythm. “But, try it. And if your frustration gets the better of you, we’ll go get you sweaty early.”

  After twenty minutes of resting, Valis’s frustrations got the better of him, and he found himself standing in the quiet arena. It was so early that no one was around except them, and Valis stretched his arms over his head, trying to wake himself up a bit more. He wore only his uniform. They’d go back and bathe before donning their armor for the two classes. For now, though, Valis started his morning routine, easing into a gentle warm-up first so he didn’t injure himself during his stretches.

  “What do you have planned for me, oh wondrous mentor?”

  Tavros chuckled as he did his own warm-up. “Our normal routine first, and we’ll go from there.”

  By the time they were done with their normal routine, Valis’s muscles burned pleasantly. The frustration still simmered, but Valis’s mind was clearer than it had been after first waking.