The Vampire's Assistant and Other Tales from the Cirque Du Freak

by Darren Shan

  Mr. Crepsley, of course, only snorted whenever the subject was brought up. “A silly human custom,” was how he put it. He didn’t want anything to do with the festival.

  It would be a lonely Christmas without my family — I missed them more at this time of the year than ever, especially Annie — but at the same time, I was looking forward to it. The hotel staff were throwing a big party for the guests. There’d be turkey and ham and Christmas cake and cookies. I was determined to make Evra get some Christmas spirit: I was sure he’d change his opinion when he experienced Christmas firsthand.

  “Want to come shopping?” I asked one frosty afternoon, wrapping a scarf around my neck (I didn’t need it — my vampire blood kept me warm — or the thick coat or heavy sweatshirt, but I’d draw attention if I went out without them).

  Evra glanced out the window. It had been snowing earlier and the world outside was frosty-white.

  “Nah,” he said. “I don’t feel like getting into heavy clothes again.” We’d been out that morning, throwing snowballs at each other.

  “Okay,” I said, glad he wasn’t coming: I wanted to look over a few presents for him. “I won’t be more than an hour or two.”

  “Will you be back before dark?” Evra asked.

  “Maybe,” I said.

  “You’d better be.” He nodded toward the room where Mr. Crepsley lay sleeping. “You know how it goes: the one night you aren’t here when he wakes will be the one night he wants you.”

  I laughed. “I’ll risk it. Want me to bring you back anything?” Evra shook his head. “Okay. See you soon.”

  I walked through the snow, whistling to myself. I liked snow: it covered up most of the smells and muffled a lot of the noise. Some of the kids who lived in the square were out building a snowman. I stopped to watch them but moved on before they could ask me to join in: it was easier not to get involved with humans.

  As I stood outside a large department store, studying the window display, wondering what to buy Evra, a girl walked over and stood beside me. She was dark-skinned, with long black hair. She looked about my age and was a little shorter than me.

  “Ahoy, cap’n,” she said, saluting.

  “Excuse me?” I replied, startled.

  “The costume,” she grinned, tugging my coat open. “I think it’s cool, you look like a pirate. You going in or just looking?”

  “I don’t know,” I said. “I’m looking for a present for my brother, but I’m not sure what to get him.” That was our story — that Evra and me were brothers, and Mr. Crepsley was our father.

  “Oh.” She nodded. “How old is he?”

  “A year older than me,” I said.

  “Aftershave,” she said firmly.

  I shook my head. “He hasn’t started shaving yet.” And never would: hairs wouldn’t grow on Evra’s scales.

  “Okay,” she said. “How about a CD?”

  “He doesn’t listen to much music,” I said. “Although if I got him a CD player, he might start.”

  “Those are expensive,” the girl said.

  “He’s my only brother,” I said. “He’s worth it.”

  “Then go for it.” She held out a hand. She wasn’t wearing gloves, despite the cold. “My name’s Debbie.”

  I shook her hand — mine looked very white compared with her dark skin — and told her my name.

  “Darren and Debbie.” She smiled. “That sounds good, like Bonnie and Clyde.”

  “Do you always talk to strangers like this?” I asked.

  “No,” she said. “But we’re not strangers.”

  “We’re not?” I frowned.

  “I’ve seen you around,” she said. “I live in the square, a few doors up from the hotel. That’s how I knew about the pirate costume. You hang out with that funny guy in glasses and a fake beard.”

  “Evra. He’s the one I’m buying the present for.” I tried placing her face but couldn’t remember seeing her with the other kids. “I haven’t noticed you around,” I said.

  “I haven’t been out much,” she replied. “I’ve been in bed with a cold. That’s why I spotted you — I’ve been spending my days staring out the window, studying the square. Life gets really boring when you’re stuck in bed.”

  Debbie blew into her hands and rubbed them together.

  “You should be wearing gloves,” I told her.

  “Look who’s talking.” She sniffed. I’d forgotten to put on a pair before leaving. “Anyway, that’s what I’m here for — I lost my gloves earlier and I’ve been roaming around from store to store trying to find an identical pair. I don’t want my parents to find out I lost them on only my second day out of bed.”

  “What were they like?” I asked.

  “Red, with fake fur around the wrists,” she said. “My uncle gave them to me a few months ago but didn’t say where he got them.”

  “Have you tried this place yet?” I asked.

  “Uh-uh,” she said. “I was on my way in when I spotted you.”

  “Want to come in with me?” I asked.

  “Sure,” she said. “I hate shopping by myself. I’ll help you choose a CD player if you want. I know a lot about them.”

  “Okay,” I said, then pushed the door open and held it for her.

  “Why, Darren,” she said with a laugh, “people will think you have a crush on me.”

  I felt myself blushing and tried to think of an okay response — but couldn’t. Debbie giggled, walked in, and left me to trail along behind her.

  Chapter Five

  DEBBIE’S LAST NAME was Hemlock, and she hated it.

  “Imagine being named after a poisonous plant!” she fumed.

  “It’s not that bad,” I said. “I kind of like it.”

  “Shows what kind of taste you have,” she scoffed.

  Debbie had only recently moved here with her parents. She had no brothers or sisters. Her dad was a computer whiz who regularly flew around the world on business. They’d moved five times since she was born.

  She was interested to learn that I was also used to moving around. I didn’t tell her about the Cirque Du Freak, but said I was on the road a lot with my dad, who was a traveling salesman.

  Debbie wanted to know why she hadn’t seen my father in the square. “I’ve seen you and your brother lots of times, but never your dad.”

  “He’s an early riser,” I lied. “He gets up before dawn and doesn’t come back until after dark most days.”

  “He leaves the two of you alone in the hotel?” She pursed her lips as she thought about it. “What about school?” she asked.

  “Are these like the gloves you want?” I avoided the question, picking a pair of red gloves off a rack.

  “Almost,” she said, studying them. “Mine were a shade darker.”

  We went on to another store and looked at a bunch of CD players. I didn’t have much money on me, so I didn’t buy anything.

  “Of course, after Christmas they’ll be on sale,” Debbie sighed, “but what can you do? If you wait, you’ll look mean.”

  “I’m not worried about the money,” I said. I could always get some from Mr. Crepsley.

  After failing to find the right kind of gloves in another couple of stores, we walked around for a while, watching the lights come on above the streets and in the windows.

  “I love this time of evening,” Debbie said. “It’s like one city goes to sleep and a new one wakes up.”

  “A city of nightwalkers,” I said, thinking of Mr. Crepsley. “Hmmm,” she said, looking at me suspiciously. “Where are you from? I can’t place your accent.” “Here and there,” I answered vaguely. “Around and about.” “You’re not going to tell me, are you?” she asked directly. “My dad doesn’t like me telling people,” I said. “Why not?” she challenged me. “Can’t tell you.” I grinned weakly. “Hmmm,” she grunted, but let the matter drop.

  “What’s your hotel like?” she asked. “It looks kind of stuffy. Is it?”

  “No,” I said. “It’
s better than most places I’ve been. The staff don’t hassle you if you play in the corridors. And some of the customers . . .” I told her about the guy who walked around nude.

  “No!” she squealed. “You’re kidding!”“Honest,” I swore.“They don’t kick him out?”“He’s paying. As far as they’re concerned, he has the right to walk around however he pleases.” “I’ll have to come over sometime.” She grinned. “Whenever you like,” I said, smiling. “Except during the day,” I added quickly, remembering the slumbering Mr. Crepsley The last thing I wanted was for Debbie to walk in on a vampire while he was sleeping.

  We headed back for the square, taking our time. I liked being with Debbie. I knew I shouldn’t be making friends with humans — it was too dangerous — but it was hard to reject her. I hadn’t been around anyone my own age, except Evra, since becoming a half-vampire.

  “What will you tell your parents about the gloves?” I asked as we stood on the front step of her house.

  She shrugged. “The truth. I’ll start coughing when I tell them. Hopefully they’ll feel sorry for me and won’t get too mad.”

  “You’re bad.” I laughed.

  “With a name like Hemlock, are you surprised?” She smiled, then asked, “Do you want to come in for a while?”

  I checked my watch. Mr. Crepsley would be up by now and had probably already left the hotel. I didn’t like the idea of leaving Evra alone too long: he might get annoyed if he thought I was neglecting him and decide to return to the Cirque Du Freak. “Better not,” I said. “It’s late. I’m expected back.”

  “Suit yourself,” Debbie said. “Feel free to come over tomorrow if you want. Anytime. I’ll be in.”

  “Won’t you be at school?” I asked.

  She shook her head. “With the holidays so close, Mom said I don’t have to go back until the New Year.”

  “But she let you out to look for gloves?”

  Debbie bit her lip with embarrassment. “She doesn’t know I’ve been out walking,” she admitted. “I left in a taxi, telling her I was going to see a friend. I was supposed to come back in a taxi, too.”

  “Aha!” I smiled. “Now I can blackmail you.”

  “Just try it!” She snorted. “I’ll cook up a witch’s brew and turn you into a frog.” She fished a key out of her purse and paused. “You will come over, won’t you? It gets pretty dull by myself. I haven’t made many friends here yet.”

  “I don’t mind coming,” I said, “but how will you explain me to your mother? You can’t exactly tell her we met in a taxi.”

  “You’re right.” Her eyes narrowed. “I didn’t think of that.”

  “I’m not just a pretty face,” I said jokingly.

  “Not even a pretty face!” She laughed. “How about I come over to the hotel?” she suggested. “We can go on to the movies from there, and I can tell Mom that’s where we met.”

  “Okay,” I said, and told her my room number. “But not too early,” I warned. “Wait until five or six, when it’s pretty dark.”

  “Okay.” She tapped her foot on the doorstep. “Well?” she said.

  “Well what?” I replied.

  “Aren’t you going to ask?”

  “Ask what?”

  “Ask me to go to a movie,” she said.

  “But you just —”

  “Darren,” she sighed. “Girls never ask boys out.”

  “They don’t?” I was confused.

  “You’re clueless, aren’t you?” She chuckled. “Just ask me if I want to go to the movies, okay?”

  “Okay,” I groaned. “Debbie — will you come to the movies with me?”

  “I’ll think about it,” she said, then unlocked the door and disappeared inside.

  Girls!

  Chapter Six

  EVRA WAS WATCHING TV when I got in. “Any news?” I asked.

  “No,” he replied.

  “Mr. Crepsley didn’t miss me?”

  “He barely noticed you were gone. He’s been acting weird lately.”

  “I know,” I said. “I need a feed of human blood, but he hasn’t mentioned it. Normally he’s pretty fussy about making sure I feed on time.”

  “Are you going to feed without him?” Evra asked.

  “Probably. I’ll slip into one of the rooms late tonight and take some blood from a sleeping guest. I’ll use a syringe.” I wasn’t able to close cuts with spit like full vampires could.

  I’d come a long way in a year. Not so long ago, I would have jumped at the chance to skip a feed; now I was feeding because I wanted to, not because I’d been told.

  “You’d better be careful,” Evra warned me. “If you get caught, Mr. Crepsley will have a fit.”

  “Caught? Me? Impossible! I’ll breeze in and out like a ghost.”

  I did, too, at about two in the morning. It was easy for someone with my talents: by sticking an ear to a door and listening for sounds inside, I could tell how many people were in a room and whether they were light sleepers or deep sleepers. When I found an un-locked room with a single man snoring like a bear, I let myself in and took the required amount of blood. Back in my own room, I squeezed the blood into a glass and drank.

  “That’ll keep me going,” I said as I finished. “It’ll get me through tomorrow anyway, and that’s the important thing.”

  “What’s so special about tomorrow?” Evra asked.

  I told him about meeting Debbie and arranging to go to the movies.

  “You’ve got a date!” Evra laughed with delight.

  “It’s not a date!” I snorted. “We’re just going to the movies.”

  “Just?” Evra grinned. “There’s no such thing as just with girls. It’s a date.”

  “Okay,” I said, “it’s kind of a date. I’m not stupid. I know I can’t get involved.”

  “Why not?” Evra asked.

  “Because she’s a normal girl and I’m only half human,” I said.

  “That shouldn’t stop you from going out together. She won’t be able to tell you’re a vampire, not unless you start biting her neck.”

  “Ha ha,” I laughed dryly. “It’s not that. In five years she’ll be a grown woman, while I’ll still be like this.”

  Evra shook his head. “Worry about the next five days,” he advised, “not the next five years. You’ve been hanging around Mr. Crepsley too much — you’re getting as gloomy as he is. There’s no reason for you not to date girls.”

  “I guess you’re right.” I sighed.

  “Of course I am.”

  I chewed my lip nervously. “Assuming it is a date,” I said, “what do I do? I’ve never been on a date before.”

  Evra shrugged. “Neither have I. But I guess you just act normal. Chat with her. Tell her a few jokes. Treat her like a friend. Then . . .”

  “Then?” I asked when he stopped.

  He puckered up his lips. “Give her a kiss!” He laughed.

  I threw a pillow at him. “I’m sorry I told you,” I grumbled.

  “I’m only kidding. But I’ll tell you what.” He turned serious. “Don’t tell Mr. Crepsley. He’d probably move us on to a new city immediately, or at least a new hotel.”

  “You’re right,” I agreed. “I’ll keep quiet about Debbie when he’s around. It shouldn’t be hard: I barely see him. And when I do, he hardly says anything. He seems like he’s in a world of his own.”

  Although I couldn’t have known it then, it was a world me and Evra would soon be part of ...and Debbie, too.

  The next day passed slowly. My stomach was a jumble of nerves. I had to drink warm milk to calm it down. Evra didn’t help matters. He kept reading the time out loud and announcing: “Five hours to go!” “Four hours to go!” “Three and a half . . .”

  Luckily I didn’t have clothes to worry about: I only had one outfit, so there was no problem choosing what to wear. But I did spend a couple of hours in the bathroom, checking that I was spotlessly clean.

  “Calm down,” Evra said eventually. “You look great. I�
��m half tempted to go out with you myself.”

  “Shut up, stupid,” I shot back, but couldn’t help grinning.

  “Well, anyway,” Evra said, “do you want me to disappear before Debbie arrives?”

  “Why?” I asked.

  “You might not want me here,” he muttered.

  “I want to introduce you to her. She thinks you’re my brother. It’d look strange if you weren’t here when she shows up.”

  “It’s just — well — how will you explain?” Evra asked.

  “Explain what?”

  “My looks,” he said, rubbing a few of the scales along his arm.

  “Oh,” I said, as it finally dawned on me. Debbie didn’t know Evra was a snake-boy. She was expecting an ordinary boy.

  “I might frighten her,” Evra said. “Lots of people get scared when they find themselves face to face with a guy like me. Maybe it would be for the best if —”

  “Listen,” I said firmly. “You’re my best friend, right?”

  “Right.” Evra smiled weakly. “But —”

  “No!” I snapped. “No buts. I like Debbie a lot, but if she can’t handle the way you look, too bad.”

  “Thanks,” Evra said quietly.

  Night came and Mr. Crepsley arose. The vampire looked haggard. I’d fixed a meal for him — bacon, sausages, pork chops — so he’d eat quickly and leave before Debbie arrived.

  “Are you feeling all right?” I asked as he wolfed down the food.

  “Fine,” he mumbled.

  “You look terrible,” I told him bluntly. “Have you fed recently?”

  He shook his head. “I have not had time. I may tonight.”

  “I took blood from a guest last night,” I said. “It’ll keep me going for another week or so.”

  “Good,” he said absentmindedly. It was the first time I’d fed by myself, and I’d been expecting some sort of a compliment, but he didn’t seem to care. It was like he’d lost interest in me.

  I cleaned up once he’d left, then sat down to watch TV with Evra and wait for Debbie.

  “She’s not going to come,” I said after what felt like a couple of hours. “She stood me up.”