The Vampire's Assistant and Other Tales from the Cirque Du Freak

by Darren Shan

  “No?” The vampaneze grinned. “You don’t know him as well as you think, boy. He’s gone. He’s out of the game. He’s probably halfway back to wherever it was he came from by now, fleeing with his tail between his legs.”

  Murlough leaped forward without warning and swung the two knives at my face, one from either side. I screamed and shut my eyes, expecting him to draw blood. But he stopped just a quarter of an inch short of my flesh, tapped my ears with them, then drew back.

  “Just testing,” he said. “Wanted to see how much moral fiber you have. Not much, hmmm? Not much. Snakey didn’t scream until the fourth or fifth lunge. You’re going to be less fun than I thought. Maybe I won’t bother torturing you. Perhaps I’ll kill you out-right. Would you like that, half-vampire? It would be for the best: no pain, no suffering, no nightmares. Snakey has nightmares. Tell him about your night-mares, reptile. Tell him how you jerk awake, screaming and sobbing like a baby.”

  Evra pulled his lips in tight and said nothing.

  “Oh ho!” Murlough smirked. “Getting brave again in front of your friend, are you? Rediscovering your courage, hmmm? Well, don’t worry — it won’t take long to knock it back out of you.”

  He scraped the knives together again and circled around behind us, where we couldn’t see him. “Which one should I start with?” he mused, jumping around behind us. “I think . . . I’ll choose . . .” He went very quiet. I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing upright.

  “You!” he suddenly roared, and threw himself on ... me.

  Chapter Twenty-two

  MURLOUGH PULLED MY HEAD BACK. I felt the blade of a knife poking into the soft flesh of my throat. I stiffened in anticipation of the cut. I wanted to scream, but the blade stopped me. This is it, I thought. This is the end. What a lousy, useless way to die.

  But the vampaneze was only teasing me. He slowly removed the knife and laughed nastily. He had all the time in the world. There was no reason for him to rush. He wanted to play with us awhile.

  “You shouldn’t have come,” Evra muttered. “It was stupid.” He paused. “But thanks anyway,” he added.

  “Would you have left me?” I asked.

  “Yes,” he said, but I knew he was lying.

  “Don’t worry,” I told him. “We’ll still figure a way out of this.”

  “A way out?” Murlough boomed. “Don’t talk rubbish. How are you going to escape? Chew through the ropes? You could if you could reach them with your teeth, but you can’t. Snap them with your super vampire strength? No good. They’re too strong. I tested them myself in advance, hmmm?

  “Face it, Darren Shan — you’re doomed! Nobody’s going to ride to the rescue. Nobody can find you down here. I’m going to take my time, cut you up into itty-bitty pieces, drop you all over the city — like confetti — and there isn’t a thing you can do about it, so wise up!”

  “At least let Evra go,” I begged. “You’ve got me. You don’t need him. Think how horrible it’d be for him if you let him go: he’d have to live with the knowledge that I’d died in his place. That would be a horrible burden. It would be even worse than killing him.”

  “Maybe.” Murlough grunted. “But I’m a simple man. I like simple pleasures. It’s a nice idea, but I’d rather slice him up slowly and painfully, if it’s all the same to you. Fewer complications.”

  “Please.” I sobbed. “Let him go. I’ll do anything you want. I ...I... I’ll give you Mr. Crepsley!”

  Murlough laughed. “No go. You had the chance to do that earlier. You blew it. Besides, you couldn’t lead me to him now. He’s bound to have changed hotels again. Might even have fled the city.”

  “There must be something I can give you!” I yelled desperately. “There must be some way I can . . .” I stopped.

  I could practically hear Murlough’s ears stiffening.

  “What is it?” he asked, after several seconds of silence. “What were you going to say?”

  “Wait a minute!” I snapped. “I have to think something through.” I could feel Evra’s eyes on me, half hopeful, half resigned to the fate he felt neither of us could escape.

  “Hurry up,” Murlough prompted me, coming around in front of me. His purple face didn’t show up well in the dim light of the cavern, so his eyes and lips appeared to be three free-floating globs of red, while his discolored hair looked like a strange kind of bat. “I haven’t got all night,” he said. “Speak while you’re able.”

  “I was just thinking,” I said quickly. “You’re going to have to leave town after this, aren’t you?”

  “Leave?” Murlough bellowed. “Leave my beautiful tunnels? Never! I love it here. You know what being down here makes me feel like? As if I’m inside the body of the city. These tunnels are like veins. This cavern is the heart, where the blood of the city flows in and out.” He smiled, and for once it wasn’t an evil expression. “Can you imagine?” he said softly. “Living in a body, roaming the veins — the tunnels of blood — freely, as you please.”

  “Nevertheless,” I said bluntly, “you will have to leave.”

  “What’s all this talk of leaving?” he snapped, jabbing me with the knife. “You’re beginning to annoy me.”

  “I’m just being practical,” I said. “You can’t stay here. Mr. Crepsley knows where you are. He’ll return.”

  “That coward? I doubt it. He’ll be too —”

  “He’ll return with help,” I interrupted. “With other vampires.”

  Murlough laughed. “The Vampire Generals, do you mean?”

  “Yes,” I said.

  “Nonsense! They can’t come after me. There’s an agreement between them and us. They don’t interfere. Crepsley isn’t a General, is he?”

  “No,” I said. “He’s not.”

  “There you are!” Murlough yelled triumphantly. “He couldn’t have come after me if he was. Rules and laws and ways of living. They mean as much to the vampires as they do to the vampaneze.”

  “All the same, the Generals will come,” I insisted quietly. “They couldn’t before, but now they can. Maybe tonight. Tomorrow for sure. Maybe this is what Mr. Crepsley planned for all along.”

  “What are you blabbering about?” Murlough looked uneasy.

  “You said something interesting a while ago,” I said. “You were surprised Mr. Crepsley came down here with me. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but now that I’ve thought about it, I agree: it was weird of him. I thought it was because he wanted to help me find Evra, but now . . .”

  “What?” Murlough screeched when I didn’t go on. “Say what you’re thinking. Out with it, or . . .” He raised the knives threateningly.

  “The pact between the vampires and vampaneze,” I said quickly. “It says one side can’t interfere with the other, right?”

  “Right,” Murlough agreed.

  “Unless it’s to defend or avenge themselves.”

  Murlough nodded. “This is so.”

  I smiled weakly. “Don’t you see? I’m a half-vampire. If you kill me, the Generals will have an excuse to come after you. Mr. Crepsley must have planned this all along.” I took a deep breath and looked Murlough straight in the eye. “He let you find me. He wanted you to grab me. He meant for you to kill me.”

  Murlough’s eyes widened. “No,” he wheezed. “He wouldn’t.”

  “He’s a vampire,” I said. “Of course he would. This is his city. I’m just his assistant. Which would you choose to sacrifice?”

  “But . . . but . . .” the vampaneze scratched his face nervously. “I didn’t make the first move!” he shouted. “You came after me.”

  I shook my head. “Mr. Crepsley came after you. I’m innocent. I pose no threat. If you kill me, you’ll be held accountable. The Generals will descend on you, and no vampaneze will step in to defend you.”

  Murlough let my words sink in, in silence, then he started jumping up and down on the spot, swearing furiously. I let him rage for a while, then I said, “It’s not too late.
Let me go. Let Evra go, too. Run away from the city. They can’t touch you then.”

  “But I love these tunnels.” Murlough groaned.

  “Do you love them enough to die for them?” I asked.

  His eyes narrowed. “You’re very smart, aren’t you?” he snarled.

  “Not really,” I said. “I wouldn’t have come down here if I was. But I am able to see the truth when it’s staring me in the face. Kill me, Murlough, and you sign your own death warrant.”

  His shoulders sagged, and I knew I was safe. Now there was only Evra to worry about. . . .

  “Snakey,” Murlough said menacingly. “He isn’t a vampire. There’s nothing to stop me killing him, hmmm?”

  “No!” I shouted. “If you harm Evra, I’ll go to the Generals myself and tell them —”

  “Tell them what?” Murlough interrupted. “Do you think they’d care? Do you think they’d risk war for the sake of a reptile?” He laughed. “Young Murlough’s in a killing mood. I might not be able to have the little half-vampire, but I won’t be cheated out of Snakey, too. Watch, Darren Shan. Watch as I carve the snake-boy a new mouth — in his stomach!”

  He grabbed the ropes around Evra and tugged him forward with his left hand. With his right, he positioned one of the knives and prepared to make the first cut.

  “Wait!” I screamed. “Don’t do it! Don’t do it!”

  “Why shouldn’t I?” Murlough sneered.

  “I’ll swap places!” I yelled. “Me for Evra.”

  “No good,” Murlough said. “You’re a half-vampire. No deal.”

  “I’ll give you somebody else! Somebody even better!”

  “Who?” Murlough laughed. “Who could you give me, Darren Shan?”

  “I’ll give you . . .” I gulped deeply, shut my eyes, and whispered the terrible words.

  “What was that?” Murlough asked, pausing suspiciously. “Speak up. I didn’t hear you.”

  “I said . . .” I licked my lips and forced the words out again, louder this time. “I said I’ll give you my girl-friend. If you spare Evra, I’ll give you . . . Debbie.”

  Chapter Twenty-three

  ASTUNNED SILENCE GREETED my obscene offer. Evra was the first to break it.

  “No!” he screamed. “Don’t do it! You can’t!”

  “Debbie for Evra,” I said, ignoring Evra’s pleas. “How about it?”

  “Debbie?” Murlough scratched his cheeks slowly. It took him a few seconds to figure out who I was referring to. Then he remembered and smiled. “Ah! Debbie! Darren Shan’s tasty girlfriend.” His eyes twinkled as he thought about her.

  “She’d be more use to you than Evra,” I said. “You could drink from her. You said you’d like to. You said she’d have nice blood.”

  “Yes,” Murlough agreed. “Salty. Juicy.” He took a step back from Evra. “But why choose?” he mused aloud. “Why not have both? Kill the snake-boy now, drink from Debbie later. She won’t be hard to find. I can watch the square tomorrow, find out where she lives, and as soon as night comes . . .” He grinned.

  “You don’t have time,” I said. “You have to leave the city tonight. You can’t wait.”

  “Still yapping about leaving?” Murlough snorted. “If I let you go — as you’ve convinced me I should — I won’t have to leave.”

  “Yes you will,” I contradicted him. “It’ll take a while for the vampires to discover I’m alive. The Generals will come straight down these tunnels when they arrive. They’ll find out about me eventually, but if they kill you beforehand . . .”

  “They wouldn’t dare!” Murlough shrieked. “It would mean war!”

  “But they wouldn’t know that. They’d think they were in the right. They’d pay dearly for their mistake, but that would be no consolation as far as you’re concerned. You have to leave, as soon as possible. You can return in a couple of weeks, but if you stick around now, it’ll be a recipe for disaster.”

  “Young Murlough doesn’t want to leave.” The vampaneze pouted. “I like it here. I don’t want to go. But you’re right.” He sighed. “For a few nights at least, I must get out. Find a dark, abandoned cellar. Hole up. Lay low.”

  “That’s why Debbie would be better than Evra,” I pressed on. “You must be hungry. You’ll want to feed before leaving, yes?”

  “Oh, yes,” Murlough agreed, rubbing his bloated stomach.

  “But feeding without planning is dangerous. Vampires are used to it, but vampaneze aren’t, are they?”

  “No,” Murlough said. “We’re smarter than vampires. We think ahead. Plan it out. Mark our meals in advance.”

  “But you can’t do that now,” I reminded him. “You need a quick snack to keep you going while you’re away. I can provide that. Agree to my terms and I’ll take you to Debbie. I can get you in and out without anybody knowing.”

  “Darren! Stop!” Evra roared. “I don’t want this! You can’t —”

  Murlough punched Evra hard in the stomach, shutting him up.

  “How can I trust you?” the vampaneze hissed. “How do I know you won’t trick me?”

  “How could I?” I retorted. “Keep my hands bound behind my back. Keep a knife close to my throat. Leave Evra where he is — I’ll come back for him later, once you’ve fed and left. If I try anything, I’ll be dooming us both. I’m not stupid. I know what’s at stake.”

  Murlough hummed tunelessly as he thought it over.

  “You can’t do this.” Evra moaned.

  “It’s the only way,” I said softly.

  “I don’t want to trade Debbie’s life for mine,” he said. “I’d rather die myself.”

  “See if you think that way tomorrow.” I grunted.

  “How can you do it?” he asked. “How can you give her up as if she was just a ...a...”

  “A human,” I said shortly.

  “I was going to say animal.”

  I smiled thinly. “To a vampire it’s the same thing. You’re my best friend, Evra. Debbie’s just a human I had a crush on.”

  Evra shook his head. “I don’t recognize you anymore,” he said sadly, and turned away from me.

  “All right.” Murlough reached a decision. He drew back his knives, then thrust them forward. I winced, but he only cut the rope around my ankles. I fell heavily to the floor. “We’ll do it your way,” the vampaneze declared. “But if you put one foot out of line . . .”

  “I won’t,” I said, getting up. “Now — how about your word?”

  “What?”

  “You haven’t given it to me yet. I’m not leaving without it.”

  The vampaneze grinned. “Clever boy,” he gurgled. “All right. I give you my word — the girl for Snakey. Debbie for Evra. Is that good enough for you?”

  I shook my head. “Say you’ll let me go when you’re finished with Debbie. Say you won’t stop me coming back to free Evra. Say you’ll do nothing to hurt either of us afterward.”

  Murlough laughed. “Oh, you’re clever all right. Almost as clever as young Murlough. Very well. I’ll let you go. I’ll do nothing to stop you coming back, or hurt you once you’re free.” He raised a finger. “But if you ever return to this city, or if our paths cross in the future, it’ll be death. This is a temporary deal, not a long-term guarantee. Agreed?”

  “Agreed.”

  “Very well. Should we start?”

  “Aren’t you going to undo a few of these ropes?” I asked. “I can barely walk like this.”

  “Barely is good enough.” Murlough laughed. “I’m not going to take any chances with you. I’ve got a feeling you wouldn’t miss a trick.” He shoved me hard in the back. I stumbled, then found my feet and began to walk.

  I glanced over my shoulder at Evra. “I won’t be long,” I said. “I’ll be back before dawn, and we’ll both go home to the Cirque Du Freak, okay?”

  He didn’t answer. He refused to even look at me.

  Sighing, I turned around and started out of the lair, Murlough guiding me through the tunnels, singing grues
ome little songs as he skipped along after me, telling me what he was going to do once he got his foul hands on Debbie.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  WE PASSED QUICKLY THROUGH THE TUNNELS. Murlough marked the walls as he went, scratching them with his nails. He didn’t want to, but I told him the deal was off if he didn’t. This way, I would only have to follow the marks when I returned. A lot simpler than trying to remember every twist and turn.

  Murlough had to carry me whenever crawling or climbing was required. I hated being so close to him — his breath stank of human blood — but I had to put up with it. He wasn’t going to loosen the ropes around my arms, no matter what the circumstances.

  We left the tunnels by a drain close to the square. Murlough hauled me up, only to shove me down violently when a car passed nearby.

  “Have to be careful,” he hissed. “Police have been over the city like flies since they found the bodies. Most annoying. In the future, I’ll bury bones more carefully.”

  He brushed some dirt off his white suit when he stood, but made no effort to clean mine. “Have to get new clothes when I come back,” he said. “Very awkward. Can never visit the same tailor twice, hmmm?”

  “Why not?” I asked.

  He raised an eyebrow at me. “Is this a face you would forget in a hurry?” he asked, pointing to his purplish skin and red features. “Nobody would. That’s why I have to kill any tailor once he’s measured and fitted me. I’d steal clothes from stores if I could, but I am of uncommon build.” He patted his gross stomach and giggled.

  “Come on,” he said. “You lead. Take the back route. Less chance of being seen.”

  The streets were pretty much deserted — it was late on Christmas Eve, and the melting snow meant walking was slippery business — and we met no one. We trudged through the slush, Murlough shoving me to the ground whenever a car drove by. I was getting sick of it — unable to break my fall with my hands, my face was taking the worst of the punishment — but he only laughed when I complained.

  “Toughen you up, hmmm?” he said. “Build muscles.”

  Eventually we reached Debbie’s. Murlough paused at the darkened back door and glanced around nervously. The surrounding houses were in darkness, but still he hesitated. For a moment I thought he was going to back out of our deal.