The Way to Her Heart

by Amy Reece

  “Well, how about a deal? You cooperate with my mom, stay home from school, and go to the doctor like a good little girl, and I will make you pudding.”

  She looked down at her lap. “I really can’t afford to go to a doctor right now. I need to save every penny for an apartment.”

  “Bernie, hon, I’m paying for the doctor and any medicine he prescribes. Let me do this for you, sweetheart. It’ll make me feel better.” Claire gave her the look Josh could never refuse. He smiled as he remembered his dad had never been able to refuse it, either.

  “Fine. I’ll go. I have an insurance card.”

  ***

  Josh made the pudding at the restaurant that afternoon so Bernie could have some as soon as he got home from work. He’d been distracted all day, wondering how she was doing and what the doctor had said. Then he felt guilty for thinking about another girl when he was sitting across from his gorgeous girlfriend, so he made sure he kissed her extra-well after lunch. Was it his imagination, or did Kayleigh not seem as into it as usual?

  “You okay, babe? What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. Everything’s great, Josh. Perfect. I gotta go.” She kissed him again quickly and scurried away.

  He checked his breath and shrugged when he found it acceptable. Girls! Who can figure them out?

  He let himself in through the garage and found his mom in the kitchen. “How’s Bernie? What did the doctor say?”

  “A nasty virus and a throat infection. At least it’s not strep. She’s asleep on the couch.” She placed her hands on his face. “How are you feeling? I hope you don’t catch it.”

  “I’m fine, Mom. I won’t get it. I haven’t been sleeping in the cold for weeks. I brought dinner.” He put the food he’d brought home from the restaurant on the counter, except for the chocolate pudding. He dished out a serving for Bernie and took it to her.

  She was curled up on the sofa, Freddie at the other end of the couch, hogging most of the room. He was glad to see her color looked slightly better. She looked peaceful, and he turned to take the pudding back to the kitchen, not wanting to wake her.

  “Josh?” Her voice was soft and sleepy. “I’m awake. Did you bring the pudding?”

  “Of course.” He smiled. “Here you go.” He helped her sit up and tucked the blanket around her shoulders. “So, a virus, huh? That sucks.”

  “Yeah. I got antibiotics and some really good cough syrup with codeine. It knocked me out. Mmmm, this is great. Thanks. It feels good on my throat.”

  “Good. I’ll get you some Popsicles too. So, how long until you can go back to school?” He shoved the dog off the couch and took his place.

  “Not until my fever is gone. A couple more days probably. I’m so sorry to be such a problem.”

  “You are not a problem, Bernie.” Claire placed a tray on the coffee table. “I brought you some soup. You can’t just eat pudding for dinner, no matter how good it is.”

  Josh took the pudding dish from her. “Mom’s right. Eat some soup.” Her pouting lip only amused him. “Don’t be a baby. You can have more pudding later.”

  But she was only able to eat half her soup and a few spoonfuls of the pudding. Claire dosed her with her prescriptions, and Bernie fell asleep with her head in Josh’s lap while they watched television. When the ten o’clock news rolled credits, Josh nudged her but only got a vague mumble in return.

  “She’s really out, huh?” Claire leaned over and brushed the hair out of Bernie’s eyes. “Do you think you could carry her?”

  Josh nodded, picked her up, and started down the hallway to the guest bedroom. “Can you pull her covers back, Mom?”

  Claire did, and Josh set her gently on her bed. He pulled the comforter up and tucked it around her shoulders. He watched as his mom fussed with smoothing her bedspread and realized she was in her element. Since Caleb and his dad died, she’d had fewer people to take care of; he’d never thought about her missing it. There was a light in her eyes he hadn’t seen in over a year, and it seemed due to this needy girl asleep in their guest bedroom.

  Bernie spent the next two days on Josh’s couch, watching daytime television and spoiling Freddie. Josh knew she must feel truly lousy because she barely complained. He brought home Popsicles after school Thursday and joined her for a Matrix marathon.

  “I’m bummed about not going to the football game with you tomorrow night.” Her voice sounded raspy from the all the coughing.

  “There’ll be other games. Don’t worry. I didn’t think you were looking forward to it.”

  She shrugged and concentrated on her Popsicle.

  “I don’t have to go. I can stay home with you.”

  “No! Of course you have to go. I don’t need a babysitter, Josh.”

  “I know you don’t need a babysitter.” He rolled his eyes at her. “I just don’t want you to be bored.”

  “I don’t feel good enough to be bored. God, this virus has really knocked me on my ass. I really appreciate you and your mom letting me crash here until I get well. I’ll be out of your hair soon, I promise.”

  “Where are you gonna go? Do you have a place to stay?”

  “I’ll be fine, Josh. I’m not your responsibility.”

  “Bernie.” He paused the movie and turned to face her. “Stay here. Please. We have plenty of room.”

  “Josh, I can’t just move in here!”

  “Why not?”

  “You barely know me! I’m not the kind of person you and your mom want living here.” She placed the unfinished Popsicle on a plate and set it on the coffee table.

  “What the hell are you talking about? What kind of person are you? Why wouldn’t we want you here?”

  “Because it’s so nice here! You’re rich and I’m—”

  “What, do you think we’re snobs or something?”

  “No! That’s not what I meant. I just meant that I’m…well, I’m—shit! I don’t know what I mean. You guys have just been so nice.” She was crying, which melted Josh’s heart completely.

  “Hey, shhh.” He scooted over and pulled her into his arms. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s not you.” She sniffed. “Damn. I never cry.”

  “Well, you’re sick, so cut yourself some slack. Here.” He leaned forward and grabbed a tissue to hand her. “Seriously, Bernie. What are your plans when you get well?”

  She shrugged and sat back away from him. “I don’t know. I’m saving for an apartment. I can legally rent one as soon as I turn eighteen.”

  “And when is that?”

  “April seventh.”

  “You can’t live in your car until April. For one thing, my mom will call social services for sure. She can’t just let a minor live on the streets in good conscience. Neither can I, for that matter. I can’t stand the thought of you out there. It’s incredibly unsafe, Bernie.”

  “I don’t want to be in the system and in a foster home! I just need some time.”

  “So stay here.” He put his fingers under her chin and forced her to look at him. “It wouldn’t be so bad, would it? You don’t hate me, do you?”

  “Of course not! You and your mom have been great.”

  “Then stay. Give it try at least. Okay? Please?”

  “Why do you care about me?”

  He wasn’t ready to think about the true answer to that question, so he tried to inject some humor into the discussion. “Well, I don’t want to risk losing my econ partner, you know. I don’t want to have to finish the project by myself.”

  She half smiled and gave him a weak punch on the arm. “Okay. I guess we can give it a try. If your mom is okay with it.”

  “Trust me, she is. We both want you here.”

  ***

  “You look wonderful, Josh. That’s a fabulous tie.”

  “Thanks, Mom. You don’t think it’s too much for a homecoming dance?” Kayleigh had presented him with the bright purple tie, saying it would match her dress perfectly.

  “No. It’s
fun. What do you think, Bernie?”

  “It matches my hair.”

  “It does, indeed.” He reached over the back of the sofa and messed her hair up, letting the delicious strawberry aroma waft toward his face. “You look better today. Clothes and everything!”

  “Hey!” She gave him a dirty look and finger-combed her hair back in place. “Yeah, I’m almost ready to return to the human race, finally. I may even feel up to getting out of here for a while tomorrow.”

  “That’ll be nice for you, Bernie. Josh, are you taking Kayleigh to the restaurant for dinner?”

  “Not tonight. I’m taking her to an Italian place. I don’t want her to think I’m too cheap to take her someplace else.”

  “If she thinks that, she doesn’t deserve you!”

  “Calm down, Mama Bear.” Josh met Bernie’s amused expression as he bent down to kiss his mother’s cheek. “What are you two ladies doing this evening?”

  “Pizza and a Buffy marathon. We’re starting with season one. Can you believe Bernie has never seen it?”

  “Shocking! How has she survived this long?”

  “Quiet, you! Don’t you have a date waiting?” Claire fussed with his tie and smoothed his lapels.

  “I’m going. You should have told me you wanted pizza, you know. I would have made some this afternoon.”

  “I am perfectly capable of feeding myself and Bernie. That’s what telephones are for. Now go. Have fun and stop worrying about us.” She actually shooed him out the door.

  ***

  Kayleigh kept him waiting fifteen minutes. Fifteen long, awkward minutes with her parents. Every conversational lob he sent their way, including the latest NFL scores, fell flat. She finally made her grand entrance, practically floating down the stairway in a flowing, purple dress, which did, indeed, match his tie almost perfectly.

  “You look gorgeous, Kay.” He kissed her cheek and presented her with the wrist corsage he’d bought.

  “Thanks. I knew that tie would match. You look great too.”

  She seemed to enjoy the restaurant he’d chosen, one Maurice had recommended because he was friends with the head chef. He was a bit heavy-handed with the seasonings in Josh’s opinion. He preferred Maurice’s more subtle hand, but it was still pretty good. The conversation during dinner was less than stellar, however. Kayleigh seemed nervous, alternating between periods of inane chatter and bouts of awkward silence. What was going on with her?

  “Kay, are you okay? You seem…I don’t know. What’s up?” He reached across the table and took her hand.

  “Josh, I…” She stared at their joined hands on the tablecloth and bit her lip. “I’m fine. Really. I’m sorry I’m being weird. Let’s just enjoy tonight, okay?”

  He stared at her, certain there was something she wasn’t telling him. “Okay. You know you can tell me anything, right?” He was disturbed to see a tear roll down her cheek, tracking through her mascara. “Let’s leave it for tonight. You look too good to ruin it. Hey, where’s your tiara? I thought the homecoming queen would wear her tiara all night.” He tried for a teasing tone to lighten the mood.

  She seemed embarrassed. “I’m a princess, not the queen. I’ll wear it at the dance. It feels kind of silly.”

  “Why? It’s not silly at all. I’m really proud of you. Now, where’s the tiara? Do you have it in your purse?”

  She nodded and pulled the small, jeweled headpiece out of her purse.

  “Put it on and be a proud homecoming princess. Go on!”

  “Sheesh! So bossy!” she muttered as she fastened the tiara in her hair. “There. Happy?”

  He smiled at her crankiness. “Yes, I’m happy. This is your night, Kayleigh. Enjoy it. How often are you gonna get the chance to wear a tiara, huh?”

  She half smiled. “Yeah. Good point. I don’t look too ridiculous?”

  “Not at all. You look amazing. Now stop fishing for compliments and let’s order dessert.”

  She laughed softly and agreed. They shared a tiramisu and then headed for the dance, which was being held at a local hotel. They met up with Tony and his girlfriend, Trisha, just outside the ballroom. The girls disappeared together to the bathroom—why did they always go together?—and he and Tony went inside the ballroom to claim a table.

  “Man, it’s good to see you here.” Tony pounded him on the back as they found an empty table. “Nice tie. Couldn’t you find a brighter one?”

  “Shut up. It matches Kayleigh’s dress.” He rolled his eyes as he sat. “I’m donating it to Goodwill after tonight.”

  Tony laughed. “What we do for these girls, huh?”

  The girls returned and immediately dragged both boys to the dance floor, where they remained for most of the evening. Kayleigh was inexhaustible, but Josh was determined to keep up with her and make this night special for her. He actually hated events like this. Well, maybe hate was too strong a word. He disliked them excessively. He’d dreaded it all week, when he wasn’t worrying about Bernie. He held Kayleigh close as they slow-danced, smelling her perfume but remembering how Bernie’s hair had smelled like strawberries earlier that evening. He wondered how her evening was going and if she was enjoying Buffy the Vampire Slayer. His mom loved it, and he thought Bernie might get a kick out of the campy show and its badass heroine.

  “What do you think, Josh?”

  Crap. He hadn’t been paying attention. “Sorry. I was zoned out. What do I think about what?”

  “About finally doing a double date with Tony and Trisha. They’re available next Friday.”

  “Sure. That sounds great. If you want to.” He was relieved she hadn’t made a big deal out of his inattention.

  He drove her home after the dance, not at all surprised she’d wanted to stay until the bitter end. She had ditched her high heels hours before, and he carried her piggyback to his truck so she wouldn’t have to put them back on. They had laughed all the way to the truck, and she looked so beautiful as he unceremoniously dumped her in her seat that he leaned forward to kiss her. She returned his fervor for a moment, but then she drew away and placed her palm on his cheek.

  “You’re an amazing guy, Josh.” She used her thumb to wipe her sticky lip gloss from his lips.

  “Why do I sense a but coming?”

  She shook her head. “No. No but. You’re an amazing guy. Period. I need to get home.”

  He looked into her eyes for a long moment, trying to see what was going on. “Okay. Let’s get you home.”

  He found his mom and Bernie still watching Buffy when he got home close to midnight. They were surrounded by pizza boxes and empty Häagen-Daz cartons. He snagged a leftover slice of pepperoni and green chile pizza, loosened his god-awful tie, and settled in to watch Xander turn into a feral hyena demon.

  “So, has my mom sucked you into the Buffyverse yet?” He grabbed her feet, which she had moved so he could sit down, and pulled them in his lap.

  “Pretty much. That is one badass vampire slayer. And Angel…I have no words. Of course, the nineties fashions are formidable.”

  “Hey! That’s hurtful.” Claire threw a pillow in their direction. “That’s my era!”

  “You want to see hurtful, you should check out her high school yearbooks.” Josh nabbed the pillow and put it behind his head.

  “Oh, ha-ha. I was fabulous in the nineties.”

  “You’re still fabulous, Mom. But you dress better now.”

  ***

  Josh managed to sleep until almost 6:00 a.m., a new record for him. His doctor had lowered his dosage on his sleeping pills and his antidepressants, but he still didn’t like taking the sleeping pills and usually didn’t. He hoped to be off the antidepressants soon as well. He mixed up a batch of ricotta pancakes and was flipping the second set when Bernie wandered into the kitchen.

  “Smells great, Josh. I can’t believe you cook breakfast too. I’m gonna get fat living here.”

  He placed a stack of three pancakes in front of her, along with butter and warm maple syrup. He smi
led at the way her hair stuck up in back. “Well, you can come running with me any time you want. Now eat before it gets cold.” He turned back to the stove and flipped five of the pancakes onto his own plate and joined Bernie at the breakfast bar.

  “What about your mom?”

  “She likes to sleep late on Sundays. It’s her one day to sleep in.”

  “What about you? Don’t you like to sleep in?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t sleep well since the accident. Why are you up so early?”

  “Well, someone was cooking something which smelled so good it tempted me out of bed. Besides, I got out of the habit of sleeping in when I was living in my car. My internal clock is totally screwed up.”

  “Well, maybe you can get it straightened out now. So, are you still feeling up to getting out of the house today?”

  “Yeah. I’ve got some errands I need to run.”

  “When do you go back to work?” He stood to refill both their juice glasses.

  “Thanks.” She took a sip before answering. “I’m off until Tuesday. I wanted to go back Monday, but my boss thinks school will be challenging enough.”

  “That’s probably smart. Hey, do you mind if I tag along today?” Although she looked much better and was actually eating, he still worried she wasn’t quite strong enough to be driving all over Albuquerque.

  “Oh. Um, why do you want to go with me?”

  It was so like her to turn the question back on him. “I just thought it would be cool to hang out. I could drive.”

  She smiled slightly and shook her head. “I’m fine, Josh. I’m almost back to normal.”

  “‘Almost’ being the key word here. Let me go with you, Bernie. I’m just gonna sit around here and worry about you if you don’t. Please?” He flashed her the smile that usually got him what he wanted.

  “I need to visit my mom. Trust me, it’s nothing you need to see.”

  “Come on, Bernie. Let me drive you.” He held her gaze, trying to let her see how much he cared.

  She broke eye contact and carried her plate to the sink. “Okay. Fine. It’ll probably be good for you to see where I live.”