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Love and Other Battles

Page 12

by Tess Woods


  Her last hope was that by some miracle he would fail the medical examination. But when the sun came up, she caught a cab to Sydney airport where she was ushered into the large holding room, and she immediately spotted him in the crowd of hundreds. He beamed proudly as he made his way towards her in his uniform. There was no turning back now. National Serviceman Francis Edward Stone was ready for war.

  ‘Guess what? The whole family came to say goodbye!’ He gave her a bright smile that belied the anxiety she detected in his eyes.

  ‘Did they really? How marvellous of them!’ She made herself smile back as she slipped her hand into his.

  They were indeed all there. Mr Stone looked stoic and proud with his chest puffed out. Mrs Stone’s eyes were red-rimmed and she had a rigid smile fixed on her face. Maureen was distracted by the fussing baby, and Pat was taking long drags of his cigarette, his eyes darting from side to side. Was he nervous for Frank, she wondered, or reliving the memories of when it was his own turn to leave for Vietnam? Frank’s younger brothers chased each other in circles, oblivious to everyone around them. And little Nora stood forlornly behind her mother’s skirt.

  Jess greeted them all in turn, and only half listened as Mr Stone complained about the long two-day trip from Melbourne in the crowded Kombi van.

  The room had a buzz about it, a palpable electricity. Whether it was apprehension, bravado, whatever, she couldn’t tell. But it wasn’t the emotional atmosphere she’d thought it would be. The soldiers, including Frank, seemed to be in high spirits and their raucous laughter echoed off the walls.

  But that buoyant vibe turned in a flash when the announcement was made that the Qantas flight bound for Vietnam was ready for boarding.

  Mothers clung to their sons, some of whom looked barely old enough to shave.

  Jess stood several feet back while Frank said his goodbyes to his family. Mrs Stone cried softly, but Maureen and Nora didn’t hold back, the pair of them bawling. Pat put a protective arm around his mother’s shoulders.

  Jess felt Frank’s hand on her waist. With her head against his chest, she wrapped her arms around his lower back and her tears soaked his shirt.

  He pulled a plain silver band out of his pocket and slid it onto her ring finger. It was way too loose but she didn’t care.

  ‘It’s all I can afford for now,’ he said. ‘I’ll buy you a proper ring as soon as I come home. But wear this in the meantime, to remind you of me while I’m away.’

  ‘I don’t need a reminder,’ she whispered.

  He brought his mouth close to her ear and spoke in a voice so low she had to strain to hear him. ‘Jess, don’t forget I’m going into this to try and save as many lives as I can. I’m not going there to kill, okay? I’m going there to save. It’s the only reason. And we just have to get to March before I’m home for two weeks. So don’t think of it as a year, think of it as six months. Wish me luck, Flower Child.’

  She wished him luck harder than she’d ever wished for anything in her life.

  He tilted her chin up and bent down to kiss her.

  She took one last look at him before she walked out with her hand in Nora’s. Her last impression of him was exactly like the first. His mischievous blue-grey eyes were on her, and he was giving her that same cocky grin that had changed the course of her life six months earlier.

  1 MARCH 2018 — 12 PM

  When the lunch bell rang, CJ went straight to her locker. She tried to make herself look busy by pretending to sort out her books and folders so that she didn’t have to speak to anyone while she waited.

  She hadn’t been able to eat a thing for breakfast or even drink a glass of water and she’d had a tight knot in her stomach all morning. Each class had seemed to take forever, but now that it was finally time to meet, Finn was nowhere to be seen.

  A few minutes later, he appeared, smiling smugly as he practically strutted towards her up the hallway. It was the first eye contact she’d had with him since the day they’d broken up. She felt exposed, dirty, under his stare.

  Mr Corelli was right behind Finn. She’d have to wait until he passed them before she gave the weed to Finn. But when Finn stopped at her locker so did Mr Corelli. CJ thought she might be sick.

  ‘Finn, you can leave now,’ Mr Corelli said without looking at him.

  ‘But, sir, I need to be here to prove —’ Finn protested but Mr Corelli interrupted him.

  ‘Leave, now, Finn!’ he snapped. ‘I’ll speak to you later.’

  Finn sidled away, leaving CJ face to face with the deputy principal.

  ‘CJ.’ His voice was soft. ‘Finn tells me that you asked him to smoke marijuana with you on the school grounds at lunch today.’

  What? She couldn’t breathe.

  ‘He says you have the marijuana in your locker.’

  She racked her brain for something, anything, to say but the words wouldn’t come. Her mind had gone completely blank.

  ‘CJ, is this true?’

  She didn’t answer.

  ‘Please speak to me and tell me what’s going on.’ His tone stayed hushed and even. ‘Do you have a different side to this story?’

  All she could do was shake her head. She found herself literally unable to articulate a single word.

  ‘In that case, CJ, I’m going to have to ask you to please step aside so I can search your locker.’

  Fuck.

  She moved to her right and stared at her shoes while Mr Corelli unzipped her school bag. It took him only seconds to find the dope in the front pocket of the bag.

  ‘Is there any more?’ he asked.

  She shook her head.

  ‘Have you brought something to smoke it with?’

  Again, she shook her head.

  He kept searching. He opened every one of her books and gave them a good shake. He went through every folder and file, her pencil case and laptop case, every nook and cranny of her locker.

  A circle of students began to form a few feet away. They stared, whispering behind their hands. Finn stood at the back of the group. She looked at him and he smiled.

  She made herself keep a straight face. She wouldn’t cry. She wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. Instead she stood frozen in place, silent, her heart galloping.

  Mr Corelli padlocked her locker door and turned to her. ‘Why, CJ?’

  She couldn’t look him in the eyes. Since he’d first started working at St Bernard’s, Mr Corelli had been her favourite teacher. He’d always been entertaining, managing to make the most boring history or geography lesson fun. And even though he was nearly her mum’s age, he still connected with the students as though he actually remembered what it was like to be one of them.

  ‘Where did you get this?’ he asked, holding up the bag.

  She tried to come up with a lie but her brain wouldn’t cooperate. She had no choice but to tell him the truth. ‘From my nan’s room,’ she whispered. ‘I stole it from her.’

  ‘Shit.’ He whispered back. ‘I’m sorry, but I have to tell your mum. Come with me to my office. You can wait for us in there.’ He sounded genuinely apologetic.

  CJ looked over one last time to where Finn had been standing but he was gone.

  1 MARCH 2018 — 12.15 PM

  Jamie rubbed her eyes and focused on the computer monitor again. If CJ’s Year Twelve assessment results from the past four weeks weren’t right there in front of her in black and white, she would never have believed how bad her marks were. Up until this year, she’d been one of the highest achievers of her cohort and now she was failing in every subject.

  ‘What’s happening to you, CJ?’ she murmured to herself.

  She had fifteen hundred other students to think about but lately CJ had been saturating her thoughts. Something was eating at her daughter, and no matter what Jamie said or did, she couldn’t get CJ to open up to her in the way she’d done in the past.

  Jamie had barely seen her over the school holidays. CJ didn’t even spend time with Mia these days, when those two use
d to be as thick as thieves. Instead, all summer long, CJ had shut herself in her room where she’d been neck-deep reading miserable dystopian novels or playing her mournful music.

  Even on Christmas Day, when the family had all come over, CJ had sat mutely through lunch and barely managed a mumbled thank you as she’d unwrapped gifts with a blank face. When her cousins had gone to the park across the road to play cricket, CJ had retreated to her bedroom and closed the door.

  ‘She must be completely heartbroken over that boy,’ Nora had commented to Jamie as she’d helped stack the dishwasher later in the afternoon. ‘The poor love. She isn’t herself at all, is she?’

  ‘I’m beside myself with worry over her, Nor. I don’t know what to do.’ Jamie had gulped. ‘She won’t talk to me.’

  ‘We’re off camping in Merimbula with Maureen and her lot in the second week of January.’ Nora placed her arm around Jamie’s waist and gave her a little squeeze. ‘Why don’t you two come with us? It’ll be fun.’

  ‘Camping?’ Jamie managed a weak smile. ‘Have we met?’

  Nora laughed. ‘How about just CJ then? She used to love coming away with us when she was younger. Why don’t you ask her? The change might do her the world of good.’

  ‘Thank you. I will, I’ll ask her.’

  When everyone had finally gone home, Jamie had gone into CJ’s room and asked her about the camping trip.

  CJ had shaken her head with vigour.

  Sometimes when Jamie went into CJ’s room — and these were the times where her worries magnified ten-fold — CJ wouldn’t be reading or playing guitar, she’d just be sitting there staring into space. She wouldn’t even notice that Jamie was standing right there in the doorway.

  ‘Maybe she’s depressed,’ Jess had suggested when she confided her fears to her mother.

  ‘I’ve talked to her about that a few times now. I’ve begged her to let me get her some counselling. I just get eye rolls from her and a flat-out no. She insists she’s fine, and that I’m being melodramatic.’

  ‘You two are close, you’ll get through this. Try not to worry yourself too much,’ Jess had soothed.

  ‘I wish I could be sure of that.’ She’d chewed her lip. ‘I’m telling you, I can’t put my finger on exactly what it is, but I know it’s something to do with Finn. That day they broke up, Mum, I’ve never seen her so shaken. Even before that day she’d begun to change. I’m telling you, it’s him.’

  Now, weeks after that conversation, Jamie was no less worried about her daughter. She logged out of CJ’s assessment profile and sighed. Her sweet, day-dreamy, affectionate girl had all but disappeared. Despite every parenting book Jamie had read, every guest speaker she’d invited to the school whose tips on raising happy, resilient kids she’d followed to the letter, despite insisting on eating dinner together at the table every night, making mother–daughter time a priority, limiting CJ’s screen time and keeping her off social media until she was fifteen — still Jamie had lost her connection with her daughter. No amount of guru tips for parents with teens had made a scrap of difference. The people closest to her — her mum, Nora, Maureen — kept reassuring her that CJ would be fine, that she was simply a normal teen with a broken heart.

  Jamie shut her eyes. If she knew one thing for sure, it was that CJ desperately needed help. This wasn’t normal behaviour, no matter what anyone said.

  Her office door burst open, making her jump.

  It was Andrew. His expression was grim. ‘Sorry, I forgot to knock.’

  ‘Hi. You okay?’

  ‘Um.’ He faltered. ‘I’ve got some news. About CJ.’

  ‘What?’ The word caught in her throat. ‘What is it?’

  He held up a small snaplock bag that was just under a quarter full of dried green leaves. Jamie didn’t need to be told what it was. She recognised it well enough.

  ‘This was in CJ’s bag inside her locker.’ He spoke in a low voice.

  ‘Tell me you’re joking,’ she croaked. ‘Please, Andrew, please tell me this is one of those weird jokes of yours that I don’t get.’

  He shook his head slowly. ‘I’m sorry. She just confessed to it being hers.’

  It took Jamie a few seconds to find her voice. ‘How? I don’t understand.’

  He pulled out the chair on the opposite side of her desk and sat. ‘Finn alerted me to it.’

  ‘Finn?’ She just about screeched. ‘What?’

  ‘Yes, Finn. Jamie, try to stay calm and hear me out.’

  She took a deep breath. ‘Okay, tell me everything.’

  ‘All I know so far is this — Finn came into my office just after the lunch bell rang. He said that CJ told him she had dope in her locker and had invited him to meet her at lunchtime so they could find a quiet corner and have a smoke together. But he felt extremely uncomfortable about it and thought it was only right to let me know.’

  ‘Oh, for goodness sake! Surely, you didn’t believe that?’

  ‘No, of course I didn’t. Regardless, I had to go and check with CJ that it wasn’t true. So I went to her locker and questioned her.’ He paused. ‘She backed up Finn’s story and I found this in her school bag.’

  ‘No!’ Jamie snapped. ‘There’s no way. It’s Finn, he’s set her up. I’d put money on it. CJ doesn’t smoke dope.’ Her words sounded much more certain than how she felt inside. If CJ was a dope smoker, then the bad grades and the reclusive behaviour all suddenly made sense.

  ‘Jamie. It’s not Finn’s dope. It’s hers. According to CJ, your mum had it in her bedroom and that’s where she got it from.’

  Jamie held a trembling hand to her mouth. ‘Oh no.’

  ‘Listen, I’m sorry to put you on the spot but we need to act on this. I’ve got CJ waiting in my office.’ He reached across the desk for her hand. ‘Jamie, we have to call the police.’

  1 MARCH 2018 — 12.30 PM

  It felt as if Mr Corelli had been gone for an hour. CJ sat in his office on the edge of her seat, chewing her nails and trying to order her thoughts.

  What could she tell her mum? That she’d allowed Finn to walk out of their home with dope to sell? That she was now supplying him with more just so the whole world wouldn’t see a video of her giving him a blow job? No, she had to lie. It was the only way. She had to say that the dope was hers and that Finn’s story about her asking him to smoke it with her was true. Finn must have known she would go along with it when he set her up. He must have known she would never tell her mum the truth.

  But why had he set her up in the first place? Just for fun? For revenge? Purely because he hated her?

  Why did she have to go and get herself involved with a sociopath?

  Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

  She pictured his face, the way he had grinned at her as he came up the hallway. How did she ever find him attractive before? He was awful.

  The door opened and Mr Corelli walked in, followed by her mum. CJ had resolved to stay calm and strong but as soon as she caught the look of pure bewilderment on her mum’s face, she burst into tears.

  Jamie shut her eyes and frowned as if she too was trying not to cry.

  ‘I’m so sorry, Mum,’ CJ sobbed.

  Jamie sat in the chair next to her. ‘I don’t know what to say.’ Her lips were trembling. ‘I just don’t know what to say. I feel like I don’t even know who you are anymore.’

  CJ cried into her hands. After a few seconds, she felt her mum’s hand rubbing her back. Her touch, comforting and safe, made her cry harder.

  Mr Corelli sat on the edge of his desk and cleared his throat. ‘CJ, we had to call the police. They’re on their way now and should be here any minute.’

  CJ looked frantically between him and her mum. ‘The police? Am I going to get arrested?’

  ‘No, no, don’t worry. They’re coming to question you, not arrest you. And we’ll both be right here with you the whole time. But, CJ, you have to tell them the truth.’

  How? How could she tell them the truth?

  Jami
e was staring out the window with the expression of someone who’d just found out a loved one had died. In a way it was true. The old CJ had died. Her mum had lost the daughter she could trust, the daughter who stayed out of trouble, the one she knew.

  The three of them sat in silence until two police officers appeared at the door some minutes later. CJ felt as if she might pee her pants.

  They introduced themselves as Detective Webster and Detective Nguyen.

  Mr Corelli rearranged chairs so they were all seated in a circle. The woman, Detective Nguyen, was the one who asked the questions. She was younger than CJ imagined a police detective would be; not much older than CJ herself. She spoke to her in a gentle voice and smiled at her a lot. Was that a trick to gain her trust and make her talk?

  Detective Webster was much older, with hair missing from the top of his head. He was taping the conversation on a recording device and also taking down notes. The sunlight streaming in from the window shone right into his face, so that he squinted when he looked up from his clipboard, which made it seem as though he was extra suspicious of her.

  CJ couldn’t stop her teeth chattering.

  ‘It’s all right, CJ. Take a deep breath. All we’re trying to do at the moment is find out exactly what’s happened,’ Detective Nguyen said. ‘Once we’ve had a chat, we’re going to take away this plastic bag and have its contents formally identified and weighed in a lab, okay? By the look of it, though, there really isn’t that much in there, a few grams at most. So there’s not much to be afraid of.’ She leaned forward in her seat opposite CJ. ‘So you say you took it from your grandmother’s room, is that right?’

  CJ nodded mutely.

  ‘How did you know there was marijuana there?’

  She swallowed. ‘I didn’t know.’

  ‘Right.’ Detective Nguyen took a breath. ‘So, what made you think to try and look for it there? Most teenagers wouldn’t be looking for drugs in a grandparent’s bedroom unless they had a good reason to suspect they’d find some there.’

 

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