Forever Wicked: A Wicked Lovers Novella (1001 Dark Nights)

by Shayla Black

  For so long, Gia had coped by dealing with only the most pressing issues. The future and its associated problems, she’d shoved into a mental compartment marked “later” and locked away. Little by little, Jason pounded at her mental safety barriers like a battering ram. Gia felt perilously close to caving in. The possibility of parting ways with him for good on their anniversary filled Gia with dread.

  “Try that. Spreading the word is critical, but do it carefully,” he insisted, then turned back toward the kitchen. The moment he spotted her, his eyes darkened. “I’ll have to call you back.” Jason didn’t wait for a reply. He simply hung up. “Good morning.”

  “Morning.” The word came out breathy, and she kicked herself. She sounded almost as love struck as she felt. A man like Jason could use her feelings to wring all the sex and devotion from her he desired.

  Would giving in be so bad? He no longer seemed to want revenge or simply to bang her out of his system. In fact, the way he talked to and touched her, studied her, and spooned her each night made her wonder if he had something else entirely in mind.

  A shiver wracked her, part cold, part desire as she remembered how he’d bent her over the sofa last night to pump her with ferocious strokes of his thick cock as they looked out over the city’s glittering lights. He’d growled in her ear that he craved her—and that she belonged here with him always.

  It wasn’t smart, but her body had flowed with his, her pleasure rolling up to him like the ocean at high tide. And damn it if her heart hadn’t yearned to stop resisting and surrender.

  “Sleep well?” he asked.

  “Yes.” She always did when she curled up beside him. “You?”

  Jason smiled faintly. “A few hours. You know me.”

  She did. Mentally restless, he always worked on ways to make money grow or plot some business scheme to his advantage. Gia knew damn well his thoughts were hardly limited to commerce and interest rates. Every day he found some new way to engage her until she felt like the most interesting topic he wrapped his thoughts around. When Jason focused on something, he did it with single-minded fervor, and she couldn’t deny how much she loved being the center of his attention.

  If she could experience that every single day, it would be a dream come true. Then again, hadn’t hoping for the fairy-tale ending and ignoring reality landed her in this mess?

  Gia averted her gaze. “I can make breakfast this morning. What would you like?”

  “No worries. I had a few things delivered. I’ve got fabulous breakfast burritos in the warming drawer and fresh fruit in the fridge. Give me a minute, and I’ll have a surprise, too.”

  He never let her lift a finger. The pampering had been nice at first. Now, she felt without direction. Even if she wasn’t staying forever, she had to contribute. “You know, I’m not useless.”

  He frowned. “Of course not. You’re very capable.”

  “But you see to everything around here. Why won’t you let me pitch in? I cook, Jason. I clean. I do laundry. I can even garden.”

  “But you don’t have to. I employ people. Let them do their jobs. You’re here to focus on us.”

  “I have. But what’s the point of me having nothing to do? If it’s to take a vacation, believe me, I haven’t slept this much in a year. I haven’t eaten this much ever. I’m ready to be productive again. You’re still conducting business. Since you don’t want me working on my brother’s case, at least let me contribute in some way.”

  He sent her a sly grin with a flash of white teeth. “If you think you’re not playing a vital role, let me assure you otherwise.”

  “By being available for sex?”

  The smile fell off his face, replaced by a chilly warning. “By being my wife.”

  Suddenly, his ploy made sense. “You’re trying to show me how you envision every day of our married lives.”

  On the one hand, she was more than a little touched. On the other, she couldn’t live this way. Did Jason think that the “job” he paid her for in luxuries and physical pleasure was to be at his carnal beck and call?

  He stiffened. “Would that be so terrible?”

  “So if we stayed married, you’d insist I hang around and be available whenever you wanted me naked? I wouldn’t do anything vital, like work?”

  “I would take care of you in every way. Keep you safe, adored, and—”

  “Bored out of my damn mind.” She gaped at him. “I need purpose.”

  He stalked closer, eyes narrowed. “You came here exhausted and half starved. If that’s what ‘purpose’ does to you, I won’t tolerate it. I’m not expecting you to do nothing. I understand you’re a determined woman with goals. I know your submissive nature drives you to help others. You’ve given a lot to your family. That’s admirable. But you can’t do it all at your own expense, Gia. Let me help you. Why should you give up food and sleep when I can provide them so easily and let you turn your attention to something else important?”

  A half dozen relevant responses raced through her head. Her family wasn’t his responsibility. But they’d already had that argument. She understood his point. They hadn’t been married long, but did the length of time matter? Spouses were supposed to be partners in life. If her mother ever needed help and didn’t tell her father, he’d be very hurt. Fine. Message received.

  Naturally, Jason didn’t want her important task to have anything to do with bringing Tony’s killer to justice. Hunting Ricky Wayman down alone and cuffing him would bring her immense satisfaction…but the task was dangerous almost to the point of suicidal. And in the back of her head, Gia worried that even if she could manage to arrest the thug and a grand jury indicted him, the trial wouldn’t see right served. Her brother’s former partner, Patrick, had quickly recanted his statement that pinned the blame for Tony’s murder on Wayman, so she couldn’t rely on the lone eyewitness account to convict him. But last week she’d learned from another friend in the precinct that Patrick had bought a fancy new boat this past spring. She could guess where that money had come from, and it left a bitter taste in her mouth. She’d called Internal Affairs to report the incident, but hadn’t yet heard a thing. Frustration was setting in.

  If Jason didn’t see her filling Tony’s shoes again to care for Mila and the kids, and if she accepted that trying to bring Wayman to trial might be exasperating—not to mention risky—where did her husband think that left her? Just a guess, but she figured he would be much happier if she didn’t strap on a badge and gun every day and patrol the streets of South Dallas. Gia had mixed feelings about that.

  “I appreciate what you’re saying,” she began. “I just don’t know where that leaves me.”

  Jason didn’t answer immediately, and she tensed, watching him open the warming drawer under the oven with a couple of breakfast burritos inside. “Bacon or sausage?”

  “Bacon,” she answered automatically.

  He grabbed the rolled foil item on the left, then retrieved a plate. As soon as he set her breakfast on the shiny black china, he reached into the refrigerator to pull out a cup of pineapple, bananas, and mandarin oranges. He continually surprised her with her favorite things, and she couldn’t help but be moved, even when she was miffed.

  “Take this to the table.” He handed her the plate, then gestured to the breakfast nook.

  “I need an answer.”

  “Eat. We’ll talk.”

  Gia knew damn well that arguing with him when he expected her to fill her belly wouldn’t get her anywhere. Shaking her head, she took her breakfast and plopped down at his table, looking out over the city. He lived in the clouds, her prince occupying his castle in the sky…and she could almost get used to sharing his kingdom every day.

  Was she really thinking about staying? The thought was dangerous, but difficult to drown out. How could she do it with so many people relying on her? How did she admit to her family that she’d been married all this time? And how did Jason expect her to fill her days?

  Despite all these obst
acles, the sense of rightness when she was with him gripped her and never let go.

  As she unwrapped the burrito, Gia heard the popping of a cork and turned. Sure enough, he was pouring champagne into a flute and adding a little orange juice.

  Her jaw dropped. “A mimosa?”

  “It’s one of my mother’s favorites.” He shrugged. “I thought you might like it.”

  And he’d arranged this treat because he’d been thinking of her. The whole thing struck her as thoughtful and indulgent, if a little excessive. But he went above and beyond in taking care of her. How could she be angry about that?

  Crap, he had her so confused.

  As she took her first bite of heavenly warm egg-filled burrito and followed with a spoonful of the luscious fruit, Jason finished mixing the drink and brought it across the room, easing it directly in her hand. Beside her plate, he set a bottle of hot sauce. “Enjoy.”

  “I will as soon as you tell me what you see me doing with my next nine days.” Or the rest of my life?

  She gulped down half her mimosa, then had to hold in a moan. That tasted really good.

  Jason pulled out the chair beside her and sat. Gia had the distinct impression that he collected his thoughts and organized his words.

  “I hope you’re willing to simply enjoy our time together, but if you genuinely need something to occupy you, come up with ideas and we’ll discuss them. Do you want children someday?”

  The change of subject made her head spin. “Of course.”

  He stood again and paced, paralleling the wall of windows along the north side of the kitchen with his long stride. Sharp and controlled, he pivoted to face her again when he reached the counter and ran out of floor.

  “I do, too. And I want them with you. Let’s cut to the chase. Tell me what you need to stay with me and make that a reality.”

  Gia blinked at him, unable to breathe for a long minute. “You want us to have children together?”

  “Yes.”

  Nothing in his expression told her what he might be feeling. The only thing she sensed was edginess, a hint of anxiety. He wanted this, probably more than he wished her to know.

  She tried not to soften too much. After all, who knew why he’d chosen her to procreate with. So he wanted her. And he’d given her every reason to suspect he cared. But neither of those truths added up to a reason they should create life together.

  “I don’t understand. What I need to stay? Um…” She tried to give him a coherent answer, but that proved hard with a nonsensical question.

  “You know.” He gestured impatiently. “Tell me what I’ll need to provide in order for you to stay with me. A bigger house, a new car, diamonds, a trip to Paris… Whatever it is, consider it done.”

  Was he serious? “First, I’d need a life with fewer problems. I have to figure out what to do about my family. You and I would need to work out our differences and find some common ground. Another house with safe stairs is a must once kids start walking.” She shrugged. “But buying me a car or jewelry or taking me overseas won’t fix anything unless… Was that supposed to be some bribe to induce me to remain your wife and have your children?”

  He bristled. “It’s an honest exchange. I give you something you want so I can have something I want.”

  The idea was completely distasteful. “What makes you think I would even accept something monetary to enter into motherhood?”

  His face turned colder. “You would hardly be the first woman. Several of my mother’s friends had monetary provisions rewarding them for the birth of each planned pregnancy written into their prenuptials. Besides, once you accepted my offer to come here in exchange for a better divorce settlement, I saw no reason you wouldn’t be amenable.”

  He’d thought wrong. Was that how marriage worked in his experience? “No! Children aren’t a clause in a contract. People should have them because they’re in love and want to grow their family so they can pass that love down to the next generation.”

  He raised a dark brow at her, a silent rebuke. “Love is…something movie producers and greeting card companies use to manipulate our emotions so we’ll open our wallets. Usually, it’s lust, loneliness, or the desire to display the ‘right’ wife on your arm. Over time, ‘death do us part’ is more about one being too fond of the dollar signs in their bank account to engage in a messy divorce. Gia…” He shook his head. “Unconditional love and eternal devotion are seductive thoughts, but they don’t exist.”

  Every word horrified her. She stood to face him, shock bouncing inside her. “That’s not true. I’ve seen them every day. I have no clue where you got your warped ideas but… If you really feel this way, why the hell did you marry me?”

  “I wanted you.”

  “We were already having sex,” she argued. “You didn’t need to marry me for more of that.”

  “I wanted to call you mine. I still do. You fill some void I hadn’t realized existed in my life. I enjoy spending time with you, pampering you, and fucking you. I’d like a family since I didn’t have much of one as a kid. So I need to know what you require in order to make it happen. Give me your price.”

  “Your love,” she choked.

  His face closed up. “I could lie, but I’d rather not insult you. What else can I give you?”

  Gia felt time stand still, the air stop. Pain crushed her, starting dead center in her chest and rapidly spreading like a disease.

  “Without love, I can’t stay.”

  “So that’s it? You’re going to divorce me on our anniversary and walk away because I won’t give you syrupy words I don’t believe in?”

  “No.” She approached him on bare feet. “I’m going to let you go so you can find someone you will fall in love with so you can see how real it is.”

  With a controlled sigh, he clenched a fist. “I don’t want ‘someone.’ I want you. I’ll treat you like a queen and give you the world. Can’t that be enough?”

  Gia’s first instinct was to refuse. If she did, it would mean spending her life without Jason. Should she relinquish the man she loved over an ideal? Who was to say that he wouldn’t eventually realize he more than wanted her? That maybe he even loved her deep down? Or was she rationalizing because he had her heart and always would?

  Suddenly, her phone rang from a distant corner of the house. A quick listen told her the ring tone was Mila’s. Had something happened to one of the kids?

  Sending Jason a glance that pleaded with him to understand, she dashed for her purse upstairs.

  He followed. “Who is it?”

  “My sister-in-law,” she tossed over her shoulder.

  Cursing under his breath, he trailed her into the bedroom, watching with unwavering focus. Gia couldn’t mistake his impatience to finish their earlier discussion. She felt the same.

  Today had, perhaps, been their most honest conversation. Before they’d married, she and Jason had lived in the moment. She’d read enough about his upbringing online to know that hers had been vastly different. He must know that, too. Since she’d returned to Jason, they had shared space, but they hadn’t really tried bridging the chasm between them.

  This morning felt like a first step.

  As the fourth ring pealed, Gia snatched her phone from her purse and hit the button, pressing the device to her ear. “Hello?”

  “Hi, G,” Mila greeted. “Sorry to bother you. Just a quick question. Where did you leave TJ’s insurance card?”

  Her sister-in-law had taken to calling Tony Jr. by his initials because Mila could no longer bear to speak her late husband’s name.

  “It’s not in your purse or affixed to the fridge?” Gia asked.

  “No. It’s not in the junk drawer or with your mom, either. I’ve looked in the obvious places. Last I remember, you had it when you took him in for his cough.”

  Crap. Yes, she had—the day before she’d come to Jason’s.

  Gia plowed through her purse and found her wallet. The second she opened it, the little card spill
ed out. “I’ve got it.”

  “I need it.”

  Her heart stopped. “What happened?”

  “Nothing. I totally forgot that TJ has a well appointment today. I wish they’d let me use my card, but I guess the insurance company is cracking down against members using the wrong one, so…” Mila paused. “Is there any way we can meet so I can get it? His appointment is at three.”

  A glance over her shoulder told Gia that Jason stood in the doorway, staring and conscious of every word she spoke to her sister-in-law. She barely managed not to wince. Introducing Jason to Mila might as well be introducing him to the whole family. No way would her brother’s wife keep quiet about a man. But Gia already knew that crossing town to spend a few hours without him wasn’t an option. She’d committed to spending twenty-four/seven with him until their anniversary.

  “How about if I drop it off at the doctor’s office and you can pick it up there? I have to get back downtown this afternoon, and I’d rather not fight rush hour traffic.” Gia rubbed at a pain in her chest that couldn’t be anything but a stab of guilt.

  “Sure.” Mila sounded a little surprised and hurt that she didn’t want to meet for a cup of coffee or lunch, like they usually would, but her sister-in-law could be a one-woman inquisition. If Jason was anywhere in earshot, he would state the bald truth.

  What a terrible way for her close-knit family to find out the two of them had been married for nearly a year.

  “Great. I’ll have it there by one or so.” She sent Jason another glance for confirmation, and he nodded.

  Then he slipped from the room and headed down the hall, toward the stairs. Gia breathed a guilty sigh of relief that he’d elected to let her finish her conversation in private.

  “Perfect,” Mila assured.

  “How’s the new nanny?” Gia almost held her breath, anxious for the answer.

  “Incredible! I don’t know how you managed to talk your new boss into paying for someone so amazing. The kids love Colleen, and she’s made life so easy. I wish I could keep her forever.”

  A sad relief. Great that the woman was working out, but Gia’s worry that she’d failed her family hurt. She’d given her all, but between work and hunting Wayman, there hadn’t been enough of her to go around.