Camp Alien

by Gini Koch

  “You sure it’s okay that you’re not in there?” I asked Buchanan.

  He nodded. “Drax and Stephanie are secured. Stephanie isn’t here, by the way. She was too violent for us to bring into the White House complex. We have her secured under the Pentagon.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Yes. She’s an A-C, a confirmed terrorist, and, frankly, needs to be in solitary for a while to consider her sins and options.”

  “Oh, Mom told you to take her there, didn’t she?”

  “She did. And she’s right. You’re going to get far more truth out of Drax without Stephanie around.” Buchanan sighed. “Honestly, if it turns out that she’s the one behind the idea of dropping invisible commandos onto Rail Force One, it won’t surprise me.”

  “She’s a female A-C, and they’re all hella smart. Though that move was hella stupid.”

  “Which may have been her intent. Don’t for one moment assume that she’s helping Drax for anything but her own ends. She also hates all of you with a passion.” He looked at Jeff. “When you do go to see her, I think you’ll need to go in there with the understanding that your niece is a lost cause. Frankly, I think the only reason she didn’t run off with Kendrick when he took the helicarrier was that she was with us at the center of the action, versus with Drax.”

  “I think she wouldn’t have, because I sincerely think the Kendrick that took the helicarrier was an android. Meaning our people are in a lot more danger, because I’d assume that android took the helicarrier right back to Cliff.”

  Jeff nodded. “What Kitty said.” He heaved a sigh. “And I’m as prepared for what Stephanie’s going to be like as I can be.” He cocked his head. “There are only three people in there?”

  Buchanan nodded. “Wruck knows how to handle Drax, and Siler’s in there to help him. By contrast, I needed eight Field teams to keep Stephanie under control. Hence her current location.”

  “Works for me. We’ll interrogate her later. And before either one of you try to tell me that I won’t be there, let me mention that I’m Megalomaniac Girl and you’re not keeping me away. I will pull rank and confirm it with my mother if I need to, and I can guarantee Mom will want me along.”

  “Probably. We’ll argue later. Ready to meet our newest alien, Mister and Missus Chief?”

  “Wow, you’re not going for the Full Title Experience?”

  Buchanan chuckled. “Not when we’re alone.”

  “He doesn’t think I’ve earned the respect that goes with the title yet,” Jeff said.

  Buchanan shook his head. “No. Honestly, I think you’re the best possible choice we could have for President. However, no man is infallible. And, who knows? There may be a time when you have to hear truth from someone who isn’t awed by you in any way.”

  “Yes, that totally sounds like respect,” Jeff said, sarcasm knob heading for eleven.

  “It is, though, Jeff. Malcolm works outside of the approved system. And that includes our approved system.”

  “Yes and speaking of that, Missus Chief, we’re going to have a nice, long, and rather nasty talk about the stunt you pulled earlier.”

  Managed not to ask him which stunt he was talking about. “Totally looking forward to that, Malcolm. Promise. Though I have to say that you not calling me First Lady anything is a huge relief.”

  Buchanan grinned. “I know. I do know you.” He looked at Jeff. “Both of you. But let’s focus on the prisoner at hand.”

  Jeff cocked his head again, and once again I could tell he was focused on his empathic talent, meaning his blocks were down. He was quiet for a good long minute, then grunted. “Drax isn’t wearing an emotional overlay of any kind. I already know what you, Siler, and Wruck feel like. Drax is, interestingly enough, as easy to read as any other ape-based or similar humanoid for me.”

  “Cool, that probably means he’s susceptible to the Good Cop/Bad Cop routine. For the record, I’m going to be bad cop because I do it better than you do for a variety of reasons.” Jeff not being able to lie being the biggest.

  “Can’t argue with your judgment, baby.”

  To his great credit, Buchanan didn’t share his thoughts on this, but his expression said that he argued with my judgment on a daily, if not hourly, basis. Instead, he opened the door. And we were treated to an interesting sight.

  Drax had metal plates at the sides of his temples, and they looked organic, as if he’d been born with them, not had them implanted later in life.

  Wruck had shifted one of his arms to look like a set of space-aged funky forceps, and had them on the plates in Drax’s temples. Drax looked frozen. Not dead, necessarily, but immobile.

  Other than the metal in his head and his wide-eyed, frozen expression, Drax looked exceptionally human. He had long, black hair that was pulled away from his face—presumably by Wruck—that would hide the plates at his temples effectively. He was a little smaller than Jeff or Buchanan, slightly larger than Siler. Skin tone was one that could merely be olive or could indicate a multiracial background. In other words, he looked like he was a human and could be from pretty much anywhere.

  “Um, John, I’m going to go under the assumption that you haven’t killed Drax here.”

  “No, I haven’t. You can control a Vata by running the right electrical current through their system. I’m doing that.”

  “You rock. Can he hear and all that?”

  “No. I have him in stasis mode.”

  “Awesome. Jeff, how could you feel him?”

  “No idea, but I could. He’s frightened as his overriding emotion, but there’s frustration, disappointment, hope, many others in there.”

  “Interesting,” Wruck said. “I can’t feel emotions, so I didn’t realize that he could still feel during this time.”

  “You’ve frozen the neural impulses that control movement of all kind,” Jeff said. “But that doesn’t appear to freeze the brain’s ability to think and feel.”

  “I find this fascinating, but I can guarantee that we have to belay the scientific discovery for later. So, Nightcrawler and Martian Manhunter, let’s let our newest alien buddy out of stasis and hear what lies he plans to tell.”

  “The Vata aren’t a race filled with guile in the first place, but I can force him to tell the truth if need be,” Wruck said. “The advantage of being an older race and knowing younger races’ weaknesses.”

  “Wow. So, are you and the Z’porrah the oldest races around?”

  “No, we’re not, but we’re among the oldest. The Vata aren’t a young race, nothing like the races in this and the Alpha Centauri solar systems. But they’re not as old as we are, and we take care to keep eyes on all of those races we consider on our side of the Great War.”

  “There is so much more I want to ask you about all of that, but, as with the stasis and empathic discussion from a minute ago, sadly, we must deal with the situation at hand. I want to point out that this statement was me totally being the FLOTUS. That’s my last FLOTUS statement for a while, but I really wanted it noted.”

  “Duly,” Buchanan said, sarcasm knob definitely at eleven.

  “Do we need to tie up Drax in any way before he’s released from stasis?” Jeff asked. “Because I don’t want my wife hurt, in case no one’s sure of why I’m asking.”

  “A-Cs are stronger and faster than Vata,” Wruck said. “I’m keeping hold of him when I wake him from stasis—I won’t allow anything to happen to Kitty.”

  Jeff grunted. “Great, another one.”

  “Another one what?”

  “Another one I have to keep an eye on,” Jeff muttered, and I could tell he was having a jealousy reaction. Flattering but likely very inaccurate. Our Martian Manhunter wasn’t looking for love—he was looking for family, which we’d now given him.

  Wruck chuckled. “Yes, I’m very fond of her. Though not in the way you’re concer
ned with.” He smiled at me. “Though I could be convinced. But since I know she’d ask me to shift to become you, I don’t believe you have anything to worry about.”

  Siler nodded. “And this is why your enemies hate you, Kitty. You have a rare ability to turn those who are either against you or neutral to your side.”

  “Well then, let’s see how the Friendship Skills are working today. John, please release the Drax Kraken.”

  CHAPTER 20

  COULDN’T SEE WRUCK do anything differently with his Forceps Arm, but all of a sudden Drax blinked and drew breath. It was weird and creepy in a totally Frankenstein’s Monster kind of way.

  Drax jumped when he saw us. “What? How did I get here?”

  “We have our mysterious ways. Let’s just pick up our conversation from where we left off a little while ago.”

  “You’re the First Lady?”

  Looked around the room. “Am I the only woman in here and does my voice not sound somewhat familiar?” Chose not to ask if he’d seen me on TV only a week ago—maybe he hadn’t been watching Stephanie’s fifteen minutes of fame.

  “Ah, yes. I’m just . . . disoriented. What’s being done to me is . . . addling.”

  Still wasn’t convinced that Drax was the sharpest Vata in the drawer, but now wasn’t the time to insult his intelligence. Was sure he’d give me good reason to do so soon enough.

  “Good. We want honesty, and I have a bet that I’m going to get that faster if you’re addled than if you think you’re somehow being smooth and fooling me.”

  Drax wasn’t so addled that he couldn’t shoot me a dirty look. “This is hardly the way to begin a partnership.”

  Couldn’t control myself. I snorted. Loudly. “Dude, you have chutzpah, I’ll give you that. But right now, the idea of partnership isn’t looking too good for you.” Sat at the edge of the desk. “Tell me how you met Stephanie.”

  He blinked. “What?”

  “Stephanie. I want to know how you found her or how she found you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because she wants to know,” Jeff snarled. “That’s why.”

  “You don’t want to know about my products?”

  Heaved a sigh. “Oh, we do. However, we have other questions that take priority. The one I asked is our top issue. So, answer or go to the nasty jail where we create something that puts you in stasis forever.”

  “It’s not hard to create,” Wruck said helpfully. “I could help design one quickly and easily.”

  “Super-duper. Gustav, get with the program.”

  “Fine. I’m just not clear on why this matters. I realize she’s your niece,” he said quickly to Jeff. “But how we met seems irrelevant. Before you berate me, though, I put out an ad. She answered it. I hired her.”

  Couldn’t speak for the others, but this wasn’t actually the answer I’d been expecting. “Um, excuse me?”

  “A want ad. I know you use them in this country. Why is this shocking?”

  “You placed an ad for an A-C who was willing to learn to ride a motorcycle and shoot at people with a crossbow in the local paper?”

  “Ah, no. I placed an ad on the dark web for an assistant willing to do whatever it takes to help a business succeed.”

  Buchanan grunted as he texted. “We need Reynolds in here.”

  “Chuckie knows about the dark web. Trust me. I got the full details about it from him a long time ago. And despite the temptation to go onto it and just see what was out there, he convinced me it was a bad idea.” Presumably because he was the dude at the CIA who was in charge of monitoring it at that time, but that didn’t need to be shared right now.

  “So, you advertised for an assistant in the same place where people are hiring assassins and making drug trades? And my niece responded to it?” Jeff asked, sounding like this was the worst news about Stephanie he could have imagined. Proving that, at his core, Jeff was a tad naïve.

  “Yes.” Drax shrugged. “Much business is conducted there.”

  “It is,” Siler said. “And Stephanie being on the dark web isn’t a surprise.” He cocked his head at Drax. “Was your ad the one that asked for a person of taste and refinement who also understood the political infrastructure of the world?”

  “Yes, that was my ad.” Drax sounded rather proud.

  Siler shook his head. “Who applied for your job, aside from Stephanie?”

  “Ah . . .” Drax now looked embarrassed.

  Made the leap. “Oh, my God. That ad was so unlike how business really rolls on the dark web that no one who had a clue would have touched it, right, Nightcrawler?”

  He grinned. “Got it in one. That ad was considered to be a terrible entrapment attempt by law enforcement.”

  Drax looked hugely offended. “I am a legitimate employer and I have excellent opportunities for those who choose to work with me!”

  The office door opened and Chuckie joined us. “You called?” he said to Buchanan.

  “Chuckie, meet our own Booster Gold! He’s not from the future but otherwise the similarities are amazing. He’s the one who advertised on the dark web.”

  Chuckie gaped at me for a moment. “You mean the ‘taste and refinement’ ad?”

  Wasn’t shocked for a moment that Chuckie knew what I was talking about. Something like this ad would have been the dark web’s version of the best joke meme ever—everyone would have passed it along to their buddies and clients for the shared hilarity. “I do. I do indeed.”

  Chuckie gave in to the Inner Hyena. And when he did, so did Buchanan and Siler. And me, of course, because I didn’t want Chuckie and the others to laugh their heads off alone. Jeff, being the President and all, merely grinned, but managed to keep from laughing. Out loud.

  “And Stephanie answered that ad?” Chuckie managed to ask between fits of laughter.

  “She did,” I confirmed, managing not to snort while I said it. Go me for the Decorum Win.

  “This isn’t funny,” Drax said, sounding beyond offended.

  “No, it’s hilarious. Seriously, are all Vata this dim?”

  “It’s different there,” Wruck said. “Their abilities make them far more comfortable with electronics than other animated beings.”

  “So, the metal plates, those are organic?”

  Wruck nodded. “They are. All Vata can mentally connect with any electronic device. There are tremendous restrictions put upon them when they travel to other worlds.”

  “Which I’ll just bet Gustav here was ignoring.”

  “I was not! I am not here to abuse my power. I’ve taken our Oath and I will not stray from it, no matter the cause.” He sounded deeply offended and deadly serious.

  We all stared at him. “Um, Martian Manhunter? I want to say that Gustav is lying like a wet rug, but what are your thoughts?”

  “He’s probably not lying. It’s literally their religion,” Wruck said.

  “What is?” Jeff asked. “Oh, and he’s not lying, thanks for asking.”

  “So sensitive, must be all the pressure of high office. John, you were saying?”

  “That they cannot interconnect without permission unless the stakes are literally life and death, and their religious text outlines what life and what death. In detail. They spend their youth learning what is and isn’t an appropriate reason to integrate. As a Judeo-Christian equivalent, a Vata integrating into a system without permission is pretty much like breaking all the Ten Commandments at once. The penalties for breaking their Oath are high—Vata have been hunted down and sent to a prison world in their system for abuse.”

  “How Alpha Four of them.” This earned me blank looks from Wruck and Drax but knowing nods from the others. “So, seriously, Drax hasn’t learned the bomb codes or where all the bodies are buried or anything?”

  “If I’d done that, why would I need to ask you to work with me
?”

  We were all quiet. I assumed the others were, like me, trying to figure out the answer to Drax’s pertinent and obvious point.

  Chuckie broke our silence. “I have a question. Why are you here? And I don’t mean here in this room. I mean here on Earth?”

  Drax looked embarrassed and mumbled something.

  “Excuse me? None of us could hear that. Try again.” Noted that Wruck was concentrating. “John, is everything okay?”

  Wruck nodded. “I’m encouraging honesty.”

  “Thought you said they had no guile,” Jeff said.

  “Not much, as a race. However, they’re good about dragging out the answers. I’m speeding up the process.”

  “How so?” I asked.

  “By hurting me,” Drax snapped. “But fine. I’m the youngest son of the Potentate, and since I have thirteen brothers and seven sisters older than me, there’s literally nothing on Vatusus for me to do. I wanted to make my mark, to do something grand. Earth is beginning to gain quite a reputation—your dealings with the Z’porrah have impressed many.” He shrugged. “So, I thought I’d come here, set up shop, and see what I could accomplish where no one knows me.”

  “Wait,” Chuckie said. “Are you saying that you’re part of the ruling family of your country?”

  “Oh, no,” Drax said nonchalantly. “Of my planet.”

  CHAPTER 21

  JEFF GROANED. “Only us. These kinds of things literally only happen to us. John, can you verify if what he’s saying is true?”

  Wruck shook his head. “I’ve been on Earth far too long, and Vatusan politics was never a great interest of mine. However, when I left, there was only one ruling family for all of Vatusus. And Vata in general and their royal family in particular believe in having as many offspring as possible.”

  “You’re saying you can’t tell?” I asked Jeff.

  “I really wanted confirmation from someone else for this, the political system on Vatusus in particular, but yeah, baby, I can tell. He’s telling the truth.”