Camp Alien

by Gini Koch

  Heard a noise. It was right above our heads.

  White took my hand and Lizzie’s and started moving us back. “I believe that your request wasn’t immediately reacted to because we’re standing under the ramp.”

  Sure enough, as soon as all of us stepped back about ten feet—a precarious proposition up here, since the roofs were no better than the floors, in that sense—instead of nothing we saw something. A ramp was indeed lowering, and we could see the interior of the ship. Not that there was much to see. The ramp and what looked like dark metal walls once you got up the ramp.

  “I have a really bad feeling about this,” Jerry said.

  “Blah, blah, blah. As long as our friendly neighborhood Kendroid doesn’t immediately put us in stasis, we’ll be fine.”

  “Again, that’s your plan?” Keith sounded outraged. “That you’re hoping that our enemy doesn’t immediately immobilize us?”

  “Well, most of us, Keith. I’m currently A-Okay with the Kendroid immobilizing you, especially if he immobilizes your mouth.”

  “Shall I go first?” Keith asked huffily.

  “I’d love to say knock yourself out, but I can’t. No, I’m going first. Everyone else, if I do get frozen or whatever, link up and run like hell out of here.”

  “We’re fast enough to do that anyway,” Lucas said quietly.

  “I doubt it, honestly.” They’d been captured at Rocky Mount, and while they might have been surprised by the attack, Camilla and the princesses had gone in prepared. “You know, how did you guys get captured?”

  “We flew into something we couldn’t see that slowed us down, forced us to land inside it, and held us immobile,” Jerry replied. “It’s not tech we have or any other country has, and before you say it, yeah, I caught that the creator is from out of this world. Just saying that we had no defenses against it.”

  “Well, the creator is supposedly on our side now, so there’s that. What about those of you on the ground? What happened at Rocky Mount?”

  “I think we were gassed,” Keith said. “One moment we were watching for any signs of threats to the President, the next we woke up as captives in the helicarrier.”

  “Was that the same for the A-Cs?”

  “Yes,” Daniel said slowly. “Only . . .”

  “Only what?” White asked.

  “Only I remember a girl,” Daniel said. “Blonde, youngish, pretty. She looked familiar. I noted her because she seemed out of place. I was going to point her out to the others when,” he shrugged, “I woke up as a captive.”

  “It was Stephanie.”

  “You’re sure?” White asked.

  “It makes sense,” Abigail said as I scrolled through pictures on my phone. “She was working for Drax at the time, and who other than an A-C could be fast enough to knock out our people?”

  Finally found the snap I was looking for and showed it to Daniel—a Martini Family Gathering shot from a few years ago where Stephanie was front and center. “This the girl?”

  He nodded slowly. “She was a few years older, but if that picture is from a few years ago, then the woman I saw could be her now.”

  “That’s her. Okay, so Stephanie helped Drax capture everyone, which makes sense. Presumably she carted you off in a bus or something.” Then retrieved her motorcycle, or had it in the transport vehicle or some such, maybe the helicarrier had an invisible shuttle, too, but that wasn’t important now. “So, no one remembers coming into the helicarrier via the entrance we’ve been provided?” All heads shook no. “Always the way. Fine, weapons at the ready and remember to run if it looks bad.”

  With that, I took a tentative step onto the ramp. It didn’t do anything and nothing happened to me, either. So far, so slow, so good. “Creepin’ In” by Norah Jones came on. Wasn’t sure if Algar approved of my cautious speed or if he was teasing me about it. Decided not to care and continue to make discretion the better part of valor.

  Moving one very slow step at a time we entered the helicarrier. We weren’t in a loading bay, which I’d expected, but rather in what looked like a wide hallway. The ramp didn’t move until the last of us was on the ship, then it closed slowly and with little noise.

  We were in the middle of this hallway, so we could go to the right or the left. “Anyone have a suggestion for which way we go?”

  “Yes, but it depends on what you want to do,” Joshua said. “If you want to search the ship or if you want to find our kidnapper.”

  “Let’s find the Kendroid first.”

  Daniel nodded and started off toward the right, as my music switched to “Homesick At Space Camp” by Fall Out Boy. Algar was definitely amusing himself right now. “I think this will take us to the command center.”

  We went at a cautious pace, so everyone was able to take a good look around. It was all Star Wars and Star Trek and such inside—lots of flashing lights, impressive consoles, what looked like space-aged weapons, futuristic chairs, and on and on.

  Moving on we saw areas that looked a lot like the inside of a S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier—bays and computers and all sorts of snazzy electronic things galore, and lots of hallways and such—only there were no people or androids in evidence.

  Unfortunately, that meant that Camilla, Rahmi, and Rhee were also not in evidence. Nor were the Poofs or Peregrines. “Poofies,” I whispered. “Peregrine Enforcers. If any of you are here, can you give Kitty a sign?”

  Waited. Nada.

  “I still think we should have just run for it,” Lucas grumbled quietly, as my music switched to “Stay Close” by Subiza. Not that I was planning to run off, but it was nice to know that Algar didn’t want us taking off yet.

  “That would have been a bad decision.” It was the Kendroid’s voice, but he wasn’t anywhere in sight. Clearly he was speaking through the ship’s internal communications system. “I’m able to target anything in this, including fast-moving beings.”

  “Super,” I said quickly, before anyone else decided to talk, while still walking along so the others would have to follow me. “So, are we heading the right way to meet up with you?” Indicated that Daniel should continue leading us, which he did.

  “Why does that matter? You surrendered. You’re now my prisoners.”

  “Yes, yes, surrender Dorothy and all that jazz. But I’d still like to talk to you. In person. So to speak. Person on my side, at least.”

  “I don’t understand you and I am a person.”

  “Again, we need to discuss that. Face to face, how about that?”

  “I don’t trust you.”

  Wise, really. Chose not to say that aloud. “Why not? You let us in.”

  “You killed all my brothers.”

  “No I didn’t.”

  “They’re all dead.”

  “Machines can’t die. In that sense. But yes, we destroyed them. Because we had to. Because you told them to attack us.”

  “You want to do the same to me.”

  “No, I don’t. I do want to talk to you. But I don’t want to destroy you.” I didn’t, for a variety of reasons, really, the fact that he was the one with the answers being only one of them.

  We rounded a corner and found ourselves in what looked like the main point of operation—there was an obvious command deck and just tons and tons of computers and such in here. It looked amazing to me, but apparently Algar wasn’t of the same opinion, since Shania Twain’s “That Don’t Impress Me Much” came on.

  Kind of disagreed—this was impressive-looking stuff and definitely advanced beyond what anyone outside of Hollywood had created. And it was clear that the computers were linked, meaning that Drax was right—the helicarrier didn’t need a lot of people to be able to fly.

  However, there were five stations up on the command deck area and the Kendroid was sitting at one of them. So the helicarrier did need more than one person to operate it.
Which was probably why it was still sitting here—the Kendroid couldn’t fly it to the Pentagon and demand they release Stephanie or he’d blow them up. He was stuck here.

  “Guys,” I asked in a very low voice, as we came to a halt, “do you remember if you saw more than one man when you were captured?”

  “No,” Marcus replied in kind. “We saw the same man. But he changed uniforms constantly.”

  “Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines?”

  “Yes,” Lucas said. “And regular suit sometimes, too.”

  Nice to have the confirmation of my suspicions—that the Kendroid had had his best copies with him when he’d stolen the helicarrier. And now they were gone.

  “What do you want from me?” the Kendroid asked.

  “Well, it’s more what I can offer you. Because, hold onto your hat, I have a once in an android lifetime offer for you.”

  CHAPTER 71

  “WHAT’S THAT?” The Kendroid asked. “And I’m not wearing a hat.”

  “Figure of speech, but the that that I’m offering is a that you’ll be excited about.” Time to bait the hook. “Guaranteed. Or your money back.”

  “Yeah, what that is that you’re talking about exactly?” Jerry asked in a low voice. “I’m asking for all of us.”

  “I’m talking about you, Jerry. Keep it down.”

  Abigail nudged me. “For once, I think I’m thinking what you’re thinking.”

  Mahin nodded. “What do you need from us?”

  “Follow my lead. TK,” I said in a louder voice, as I started walking toward the stairs that led up to the command deck, “I have a way for you to fly this thing.”

  “What makes you think that I can’t fly it by myself?”

  I snorted as I trotted up the stairs, the others behind me, “Learn to Fly” by the Foo Fighters in my ears indicating that Algar approved of my plan. “Dude, if you could do that particular that, you’d have already done said that. I realize this machine is set up to run with a very limited crew. However, unlike the ship Drax used to get to our neck of the galactic woods, it does require more than one person to fly it. And I realize we’ve destroyed all of your copilots.” Time to dangle the bait. “But, and you’re going to be so glad when you hear this, I have that special offer I just mentioned.”

  “What special offer is that?”

  “I’m so glad you asked! The special, one time only, limited time offer, is . . . wait for it . . . hold onto that metaphorical hat and . . . it is . . . replacement pilots for you!”

  “What?” The Kendroid sounded shocked.

  “What?!?” This was echoed by all five flyboys, the four A-C Field agents, and good ol’ Keith. The girls and White were all blissfully silent.

  “I know! It’s too amazing to be true, isn’t it? And yet, it is true! But wait . . . before you decide, I have even more for you.” Get the hook securely into the fish’s mouth. “In addition to pilots, I’ve also brought along additional crew so that you can actually focus on the bigger picture and all that.” I was talking very fast—not A-C speed, but definitely at Ginsu Knife Now How Much Would You Pay Speed.

  “The bigger picture?” The Kendroid sounded completely confused. “Fish Out of Water” by Tears for Fears came on. I really enjoyed it when Algar and I were in sync.

  “Dude! Yes! The bigger picture is you rescuing your lady love all impressively, isn’t it? Picture it now—you swooping in to save her just before the firing squad can shoot. Heroism at its finest. And a sure way to stand out from the competition.” Give the hook a gentle tug.

  “What firing squad? What competition?”

  “Metaphors aren’t your thing, are they? But, I get it. I mean, what was she doing, hanging out with Drax anyway, am I right? Something was definitely going on there, as I’m sure you’ve realized. What better way to impress her than by doing the big rescue? And here we are to help out! Guys, take a look at the controls, I’m sure you can manage them.”

  “Ah,” Hughes said. “Gotcha, Commander.” He jerked his head at the other flyboys. “To your posts, men.” The rest of the flyboys lurched into action. I was used to them catching on a little quicker, but it had been a rough week for everyone.

  The Kendroid’s eyes narrowed. “Wait. What do you mean about Drax?” Let the fish hook itself more securely.

  Prayed that everyone else with me was keeping their expressions neutral or at least looking at the floor or something. Coughed delicately. “Um, I mean the obvious.” Let the fish play out a little bit.

  “What’s obvious?” The Kendroid was definitely not on solid ground here.

  Lizzie snorted. “Oh, come on. You’d gotten the helicarrier and all the hostages for her. Why would she need to go back to him? Unless, you know . . .” She shrugged.

  “She . . . she needed something from him for the android process on full humans.” The Kendroid sounded confused and defensive.

  “Oh, of course. I’m sure she did.” Ensured I didn’t sound like I was sure at all.

  “Do Americans still fall for that excuse?” Adriana asked, sounding sad for all of us.

  “Only the ones not, you know, programmed to notice the clues and such.”

  “What do you mean?” The Kendroid was definitely upset and out of his element. “She was missing vital parts in order to properly create.”

  “Is that what she told you?” Adriana asked, sympathy dripping. “I guess the old lies are the easiest to pass.”

  “She wasn’t lying!” He didn’t sound angry—he sounded like he needed us to believe him.

  Randy stepped away from his piloting console and closer to the Kendroid and pointed to the metal railing we were near. “Is this necessary for the safe running of the ship?”

  “Ah, no,” the Kendroid was clearly shocked by this sudden conversational shift. “Why?”

  Randy slammed his fist onto the railing. It bent. A lot. “That didn’t hurt, because I think that my arms and legs are already fully androidized. Joe?”

  Joe took his cue, trotted over, and straightened the metal out. “Yeah. Mine, too.”

  They both nodded to me, then went back to their posts. I’d worry about what had been done to my guys later. Had to save us all first. On the bright side, if we needed to destroy the Kendroid, it appeared that Joe and Randy were going to have little trouble with it.

  Cleared my throat. “Ah, TK, I think that sort of indicates that there is nothing Stephanie needed from Drax in order to make humans into androids.” Tug on the line.

  “She . . . she lied to me?” He sounded shocked and lost.

  “Well, you know how it is.” Abigail shrugged. “A girl likes to keep her options open and all that. Play the field until you’re sure you’ve found the right guy.”

  “Playing the field can be quite fun,” Adriana added. “Many of us enjoy it, though most are looking to settle down with Mister Correct.”

  “And it’s not like Stephanie had a great track record,” Mahin said. “I mean, just look at the men she was involved with. Before you, I’m sure,” she added politely.

  “Well, I don’t know that it was before TK,” I said conversationally to the girls. Let the fish think you’re not paying attention to it for a while. “I mean, she was sleeping with Cliff and, clearly, she was sleeping with Drax, and I’m still not convinced that she wasn’t canoodling with anyone and everyone in Gideon Cleary’s campaign, and I’m not sure when she made TK. She might have made him while she was with Cliff, after all.”

  “Oh, gross thought,” Lizzie said. “Do you think she made all those other Kendroids so that they could be, like, her harem?”

  “Wow, I hadn’t thought of that,” I said, as “Let It Play” by Poison came on. “Sure seems possible to me. After all, he’s good looking, so why not make a ton of him, right?”

  “Oh!” Abigail sounded totally excited. “Maybe she wanted the r
eal Thomas Kendrick and he turned her down.”

  “I had not thought of that,” I lied. “But that makes a hell of a lot of sense. Can’t get the guy you really want? Make a replacement that won’t turn you down. Genius, really.” Turned back to TK. Yank harder on the line. “Sorry, got off on a tangent there. Anyway, so the plan—”

  “Stop! Stop trying to avoid the question! Why did Stephanie lie to me?” He sounded a little like Jeff when Jeff was having jealousy issues. He sounded a lot more like his heart was breaking.

  Felt bad, but not bad enough. I had people and animals missing and presumed to be in extreme danger. The feelings of an android were going to have to come second.

  “Ah,” I said gently. “Um, TK, well . . . I think she lied so that you’d do what she wanted. I mean, isn’t that why people lie?”

  He nodded. “But why lie to me? I love her. She loves me.”

  Lizzie snorted quietly. “Sure she does,” she said under her breath, but so that he could definitely hear it.

  He spun toward Lizzie. “What do you mean?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Oh, nothing. Nothing at all. I mean, why would she want a real person when she had you, right?” Lizzie really had her Teenaged Sarcasm Meter up well past eleven.

  “What? What do you mean? I’m real!”

  “No, Pinocchio, you’re not a real boy yet.” And I wasn’t sure if he ever would be. Though, as with Cameron Maurer and Col. John Butler, the possibility was there.

  “What do you mean?” he yelled. “Why do you say things that don’t make sense? Why are you doing this to me?”

  “Doing what?” I asked nicely. Yank harder on the line, be sure the hook is set.

  “Making it all confusing! Nothing makes sense. You don’t make sense.”

  “Humans don’t make sense. A-Cs rarely do, either. Frankly, most organic beings don’t make sense. It’s just something we all do. All of us. Machines, on the other hand, they make sense. And Stephanie isn’t a machine, she’s organic, so she won’t make sense. And maybe she wants someone else who doesn’t make sense, either.”