Camp Alien

by Gini Koch

  “Oh, we know Raymond is right about being safe. But Rachel’s right about things that will happen.”

  Then again, maybe there was more going on with the Lewis kids than I realized. However, tonight was not the time to find out.

  “Well, that’s all good to know. Are you suggesting we all sleep in the same bed? Because I think that will be weird for Lizzie and Nadine.”

  “Oh no. Charlie and I should sleep with you and Daddy and Lizzie and Nadine can do a sleepover here in the living room.”

  Lizzie shrugged. “That’s cool. All the animals are in here anyway.”

  Looked around. She wasn’t wrong. “Nadine?”

  “Where the children sleep, I sleep, unless we’re all in our rooms like normal.”

  “I’ll call for cots for you two,” Jeff said, as he stood up and handed Charlie to me. “I’m sure we have them or the Operations Team can get some to us here.”

  “Okay, then let’s get you two ready for bed.”

  Nadine, Lizzie, and I started the bedtime ritual. Jamie and Charlie had already had dinner and baths at the Embassy, so it was only getting them into their nightclothes that required any effort. We were done with that by the time Jeff was off the phone.

  Cots arrived quickly via some White House staffers. Apparently cots were kept on hand just in case. Had to hand it to this setup—without Algar running things, they were still pretty awesomely efficient and prepped for anything.

  Went to the Family Dining Room and got cocoa for all courtesy of the Elves. Took it back and we all had our treat while sitting with the pets in the now fully packed and crowded living room.

  Once that was done, Lizzie and Nadine did the cot sleepover thing and the rest of us got into bed. We put the kids in the middle, Jamie next to me and Charlie next to Jeff. We sang songs to Charlie, and Jamie sang them, too. Somewhere in the middle of the third song he drifted off to sleep, and by the end of it Jamie had joined him. Jeff wrapped around so that he had an arm protectively over my and Jamie’s heads. We snuggled our feet together and, in this sort of odd but ultimately very cozy way, we both fell asleep.

  Mercifully, my sleep was deep and dreamless. Though I could have used some hints from the Great Beyond or from ACE, I needed the rest more. Woke up to the melodious sounds of “Wake Up” from Two Door Cinema Club, which started the day pleasantly enough.

  We had breakfast with Nadine and the kids, then they and the animals went to the Embassy with a lot of security personnel, all of whom had been triple-checked overnight and who, therefore, were presumed not to be traitors in our midst.

  Jeff had the fun of having to go meet the visiting dignitaries. I got out of it by being the wife who had to get things ready for the trip to Camp David. Was totally willing to play housewife in this case.

  My core team arrived to help out and, I suspected, reassure themselves that I and the others were actually really alive and unharmed. Colette seemed far more comfortable with the team and her position after our Day O’ Fun, which was definitely one for the win column.

  Vance and Abner both expressed their appreciation for being sent home in the first limo. Len and Kyle, who were back on as my shadows, were totally in control of themselves and made no snide comments about this, though I could tell they both wanted to.

  Mrs. Maurer had brought her grandchildren along, since Maurer himself was at Dulce this morning, undergoing more tests that Serene wanted. They were nice kids, clearly a little confused about what was going on, but happy to be with their grandmother. A brief teleconference with Denise and Pierre, a quick trip down to White House Medical for Tito to confirm that the children were still fully organic, then we had a security team take them to the Embassy and join the other kids in daycare. Reassured Mrs. Maurer that, as long as things went smoothly, her grandchildren were now part of our Embassy’s daycare system.

  Vance then shared that all Embassy children of school age were now enrolled in Sidwell, and he added the Maurer kids to that list. Was still working with the idea that what Vance wanted Vance was going to get, so had no complaints.

  We’d actually caught Tito right before he was headed over to Dulce with Joe and Randy for more tests to see if they could or should remove the wires and what to do with them if the wires had to stay. Rahmi was with him, though Rhee was at the Embassy with Queen Renata. Lorraine and Claudia were already at Dulce prepping their husbands’ rooms and filling in their doctors. The other flyboys were with Tim doing whatever in terms of security for the international bigwigs.

  Packing I left to the Elves after a polite request to my hamper produced an SUV’s worth of luggage that was apparently for the four of us, plus Lizzie and Nadine.

  Checked in with Mom, who was taking Janelle Gardiner into protective custody and getting her statement about what had gone on. There was no sign of Stephanie, and Mom and Chuckie had sent teams to Forest Haven, but they’d found no one. True to my expectation, her lair was cleared out.

  Spent the rest of the day checking on various things and worrying about the fact that the prior day’s escapades meant I was even more woefully unprepared to FLOTUS Up than before. But the team really rallied and ran me through a variety of scenarios. It was a lot like being back in the Washington Wife class, only this time the cool, perfect students were working for me, not against me.

  Just before dinner, Buchanan called me. “I haven’t heard a word from Siler or Wruck, but we have some interesting intel.”

  “Can’t wait.”

  “No, you can’t, I don’t think. Marcia Kramer hasn’t been seen wearing diamonds for at least two weeks.”

  Let that one sit on the air for a moment. “So, we know the Kramers are involved in the Strauss Initiative. And we found a ton of diamonds at the Strauss Initiative Fem-Bot Factory. So, why did Strauss, Villanova, and now presumably Marcia all have to sacrifice their jewelry to the cause?”

  “You asking rhetorically or do you want my thoughts?”

  “I always want your thoughts, Malcolm.”

  “Good to know. I think we have a schism. I think that, now that Strauss is dead, whoever at the NSA approved her Initiative has decided that he or she doesn’t need Zachary Kramer underfoot. My guess is that Kramer’s team—which I’m pretty sure will include his driver, Evan, and Villanova—have managed to get their hands on a bot or two and therefore need their own diamonds in order to make them run.”

  “I agree with that theory. Can you take it to Hacker International and see what they can do?”

  “Already have, and I ran it by Reynolds, too. He agrees that the theory makes sense.”

  “How are things at Camp David?”

  “No idea, I’m not there.”

  “Why not?”

  “Like I told you last night, where you and the Babies Chief are, so am I. Both of your talented children are far less work than you.”

  “Don’t expect that to last. Did Chuckie say how things were?”

  “In a way. As a suggestion, when you get to Camp David tomorrow, I really recommend you pull him aside for a few minutes and reassure him that you still respect him, because I truly believe that he thinks that you don’t.”

  “I thought we’d made up.”

  “Missus Executive Chief, we’re delicate creatures, men, and our egos shatter easily. My intel shares that while you and Mister Executive Chief have had big fights like this before, you and Reynolds have not. His faith in your everlasting friendship is now shaky and his ego is shattered and isn’t back together yet. Mister Executive Chief has the advantage of getting to have sex with you in order to reassure himself that all’s well. Reynolds does not.”

  “Look at you, Malcolm Buchanan: Relationship Guru.”

  “It’s all in the job description.”

  “I know who hired you, so I truly bet it is.”

  “And the Secret Service agents really enjoy gossiping am
ongst themselves in the name of keeping the team apprised of potential security issues.”

  “They’re humans, that’s not a shock, really.” Considered things. “How is James?”

  “Also in need of reassurance, but not to the same extent. Your forgiving Crawford quickly and him and the others officially indicates you’ll really forgive him next. For Reynolds, that’s all meaningless. He’s relieved you’ve forgiven Mister Executive Chief, but it’s your relationship with Reynolds himself that he feels is fully damaged.”

  “I’ll fix it, Malcolm, I promise.”

  “Oh, I’m sure you will. Just do it sooner as opposed to later. Anything else you want to go over before I sign off?”

  “Yeah, actually. What do you think Stephanie’s next move is going to be?”

  “Sadly, Siler’s the Stephanie expert. I just want the go order to kill her.”

  “Can’t give it to you, much as part of me wants to. It will hurt too many people in the A-C community if we just assassinate her the next time one of us lays eyeballs on her.”

  “That’s what your mother said, too.” He sighed. “They know your weaknesses. The Mastermind played on them for years, and he helped train her. She knows people care about her and she’s going to use that against all of you.”

  “Well, we’ll figure it out when we get there. Speaking of figuring things out and getting there, what’s your take on Mossad’s concerns?”

  “I think that either they’re right and something’s going on, or the recent upheaval in the U.S. government has given both countries the idea that we’re currently weak and therefore, instead of playing nicely with us, they’re going to try to use us to better their own ends. Either way, we’ll be ready for them.”

  “I hope so.”

  “Oh, we’ll be fine. You’ll be there to cause your personal form of havoc. And I recommend that you demand that the Vata and the Planetary Council be there, as well.”

  “Really? Why so?”

  “Because, as you’ve pointed out more than once and did again last night, nothing brings enemies together like a bigger threat.”

  “The Vata and the Planetary Council aren’t threatening us.”

  “Not yet. But don’t count on that lasting.”

  We hung up and I did my best not to worry. Failed.

  Jeff and the others came back to the White House for a few minutes, but only to share that they needed to entertain the dignitaries. While Jeff, Antoinette, Vance, Abner, and Mrs. Maurer handled the details, I grabbed Reader and pulled him aside.

  “I’m not mad at you anymore.”

  “Ah, good. Girlfriend, we’re in the middle of a delicate political situation. Paul, Doreen, Raj, and Richard are entertaining the two leaders while Jeff’s here. They think he’s so interested in them that he’s ensuring that things are right personally. He’s actually taking a break. And I need to go over things with him during this break.”

  “Huh.”

  “Huh what? Tell me that didn’t make you mad at me again.”

  “No. Malcolm just really seemed to think that you didn’t believe I’d forgiven you. So I wanted you to be sure that I had.”

  He flashed the cover boy smile. “Good to know.” Reader kissed my cheek. “A part of me doesn’t believe you could forgive us because we were idiots. The rest of me knows that you have.”

  Hugged him tightly. “Everyone’s an idiot sometimes, James. I was when we first got to D.C., remember?”

  He hugged me back. “Yeah, I do. I’m good. Though you should probably have this talk with Chuck.”

  “Yeah, that’s what Malcolm said. You were here, though, and he’s not.”

  “Nice to know where I stand.” He grinned. “I’m just teasing you. This dinner and meeting are likely to run late. So don’t give Jeff a hard time about it if he misses putting the kids to bed. This is his first big job as President and he’s really focused on doing it all right.”

  “I know you all are. I’ll be the good FLOTUS and not the pissed-off warrior tonight, promise.”

  Confirmed with Reader that my request for the Vata and the Planetary Council to be in attendance tomorrow was one he was willing to forward to Jeff and the others. Then he took off for Important Meeting Central and I took off for our suite, which I actually found without help.

  Had Nadine and Lizzie bring the kids over—mine and the Maurer kids—and we all had dinner with my team in the Family Dining Room. Chase was ten and Cassidy was eight. They’d had a good time with the Lewis kids, so I had hopes that they’d fit into our extended family without too much issue.

  Dinner done, we had the usual security folks take the Maurers back to their home. Despite my wanting to have someone with the dainty skills around, it wasn’t right to ask Mrs. Maurer and her grandchildren to come with me to Camp David. Besides, I had Vance for that.

  “What do you mean I’m going tomorrow?” he asked after we’d sent the Maurers home in one of the A-C limos.

  “I mean that I need to not blow it and that means I need you there. Not Guy, though. I think we don’t want lobbyists there if we can help it.”

  Abner looked worried. “What if something happens tomorrow like it did yesterday?”

  “See?” Vance said to him. “I told you—it sounds safe but things blow up around Kitty.”

  “Dude, you’re going. Abner can get out of it because I don’t think I need a decorator or designer there. But you cannot.”

  He heaved a dramatic sigh. “Abner, if I don’t return, please ensure that my funeral is fantastic and that I get a decently sized memorial stone.”

  “I will.” Abner looked even more worried. He hugged Vance, then me. “Be careful, Kitty.”

  I reassured him that I’d be the soul of discretion and tucked him into his own limo with his own security.

  “So, you staying here tonight or going home tonight? I think we’re leaving at some hideously early time, as a warning.”

  “I’ll spend tonight in my own bed, because it might be the last time I see it.”

  “Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence.”

  Vance grinned. “I’m confident that there will be trouble. Just know that I’ll be behind you all the way.”

  “Of that, I have no doubt.”

  CHAPTER 90

  THE REST OF the evening was uneventful. As Reader had said, Jeff might have been “in” the White House, but if I considered our rooms to be “home,” then he was home late.

  The kids were asleep in their rooms and Lizzie and Nadine were in for the night, animals with all of them, well before Jeff finally dragged in.

  “God, that was exhausting,” he said as he went into the closet to get undressed.

  Followed him in. “Want to talk about it?”

  “Honestly? No. I just want to not have to think for a couple of hours and relax with my wife. Is that okay?” he asked, sounding worried all of a sudden.

  “It’s great.” After all, I’d find out how things were soon enough.

  We snuggled into bed and Jeff found an old Godzilla movie. For whatever reason, if it was an old and totally kitschy movie or TV show, Jeff loved it. We fell asleep before Godzilla had defeated Mechagodzilla, but I knew how the movie ended, and while Godzilla did visit me in my dreams, he was mostly benign and took me for a fun ride on his shoulders, where we surfed from Japan to Hawaii while the Beach Boys sang “Surfin’ Safari” as our soundtrack.

  We woke up to the rocking sounds of “Wake Up” by American Hi-Fi. Same title but much more rocking than the song from yesterday. Of course, the lyrics were kind of foreboding. Chose to ignore that.

  Vance was already on-site and he and Raj had everything organized before we were out of our suite. There were some real advantages to being the President and First Lady. Knew they weren’t going to outweigh the disadvantages, but we did soldier on.

&nb
sp; We were required to ride up to Camp David in the Beast, though Len was our driver and Kyle had shotgun. Literally our family group, which was six what with Lizzie and Nadine, was all that could fit into this limo comfortably. Didn’t share that Bruno, Lola, Mork, and Mindy were also in the car, or that I’d checked my purse and I had a lot of Poofs on Board. By now it should be assumed that Poofs and Peregrines were coming along.

  Our luggage went in a burly SUV driven by Secret Service, just like everyone else’s luggage. Lost count of the number of SUVs carrying luggage versus people. Lost count of the number of cars overall that we had in our impressive convoy, but it was a lot, many more than we’d had when we were heading into Operation Epidemic and onto the Murder Train.

  Jeff spent the entire hour’s drive on the phone with my mother—who was still at NSA headquarters and would join us tomorrow—and a variety of others. He did a lot of grunting, and anytime he actually spoke it was about foreign policy, international diplomacy, or equally exciting topics. Len was focused on driving and Kyle was on his own headset having his own grunting conversations. Clearly the men were Occupied.

  Requested music, so we listened to the All-American Rejects album When The World Comes Down played not nearly loud enough, but a girl had to take what she could get. Spent the drive playing word games with Lizzie, Jamie, and Nadine, while we all entertained Charlie to keep him from trying to lift the car or anything in it. Settled for him merely lifting some of the Poofs out of my purse and juggling them without using his hands. The Poofs didn’t seem to mind, so chose not to stress out about this. Much.

  So the time passed in a rather conventional manner. No one tried to run us off the road, shoot at us, bomb us, or kidnap us. Was texting with people in various cars in the convoy, and everyone reported that it was all work and serene driving. Had a glimmer of hope that this would end up being a really boring camping trip combining work and awkward small talk and Poof juggling that I’d have to explain as a magic trick.