All Cried Out (All Falls Down Book 2)

by Ayden K. Morgen

  "Tell me what, love?"

  She takes a deep breath, trying to slow the flood of tears down her cheeks. "I'm pregnant," she whispers, wringing her hands.

  For a second, everything stops. Time stands still as she stares at me, a cautious expression on her face, like she's afraid of how I'm going to react. My heart skips a beat and then begins to pound erratically. Blood rushes in my ears in a roar and my throat tightens.

  "I found out the day Kit, Maddi, and I went to the spa," she whispers, words pouring from her in a flood. "I was going to tell you, but then everything happened and I didn't know how. You were so stressed out; I didn't want to make it worse. I planned to tell you that night, but then you told me about my mom and I-" She shakes her head quickly. "I was so scared, Jared. You were lying to me. I felt like I didn't know you at all. All I could think was that it was like Italy all over again and I needed to protect our baby. And I know that's stupid. I know you're nothing like him and would never hurt us like that, but you didn't tell me about my mom, and that hurt so much. I didn't know what to think or what to do. I panicked." Her head drops as if she's exhausted herself. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

  I can barely wrap my mind around any of what she's said. I'm reeling, my mind spinning.

  "Please, say something," she pleads quietly.

  "You're pregnant," I whisper, my voice awed. Pieces begin to click into place, all those little signs I missed… the way she's been holding her stomach, and the way the girls and Drake protected her, even when that meant protecting her from me. How sick she was the night McKee destroyed her car, and how she begged me not to let him take me away from her. How sensitive her body has been and how wild I made her last time we made love. All the signs were there, right in front of me, but I was blind to them. Oblivious.

  Savannah lifts her head, her expression wavering between hope and fear.

  "I am," she says quietly. "We are. With the engagement and the media, I-I forgot to get my last shot. I know we didn't plan this and everything is a mess right now, but I want this baby, Jared. I want our baby. Please don't be angry about this."

  "Come here."

  Fighting to keep the grimace of pain off my face, I lift my arm, holding my hand out to her. She bites her lip and then takes it. I'm weak as hell, but I tug gently until she reluctantly perches on the side of the bed. It's not nearly close enough, but it's the best I can do for now.

  "Look at me," I whisper, not letting go of her hand until her eyes meet mine. When they do, I slide my hand to her stomach, splaying my fingers wide. Tears burn in the back of my throat as love for this amazing girl and our child engulfs me. It kills me that she thought she needed to protect our baby from me, but I can't be angry with her for it, not knowing what she's been through. Fear isn't rational. It doesn't always make sense. After everything we've been through, if anyone can understand that, I can. "I could never be angry with you for being pregnant, or for protecting our baby," I tell her, my voice choked.

  Savannah's entire body relaxes, her hand coming up to cover mine over her stomach. Tears fall down her face again, but the hopeful smile she gives me is absolutely breathtaking.

  "I'm so sorry I hurt you," I murmur to her. "Knowing that McKee was after you, that he wanted to hurt you… I was terrified, Savannah. Every day he was out there, it got worse. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I was trying so hard to keep my promise to never let anyone else hurt you. I needed to know you were safe, but I couldn't even be there to ensure it. It killed me to leave you every day, not knowing if you'd still be there when I got back." I shake my head, not sure how to put into words how it felt to know she was in danger all over again. "And then there was your mom, and I knew if I let her into your life again, I wouldn't be able to protect you from her, either. I was so focused on that—on keeping you safe—I didn't stop to think how you'd feel."

  "It hurt so much," she whispers. "I didn't understand why you'd do that to me, or how you could do it to me. But I did the same thing, Jared. I didn't tell you about the baby because I didn't want you to worry any more than you already were. I didn't really even realize I was doing it until the night I came to talk to you. I was so scared, but when you asked if I was going to leave you…. I hated the look on your face. I hated it so much." More tears slip down her cheeks.

  "Don't cry, baby," I whisper.

  "After I left that night," she says through sniffles, "I realized how you felt right then is how you'd felt for days because of him. It broke me when I finally understood what this has been like for you, how afraid you've been. That's why I was coming to see you: to tell you that I understood, that I wasn't leaving you, and that I forgave you. That I love you. And I do love you, Jared. So much, it scares me sometimes."

  "Savan-"

  "Wait, please." She waits until I nod before hurrying on. "I thought I loved Toby, but I didn't feel anywhere close to what I feel for you, and I let him do really terrible things to me. For a long time, I believed the thing he said to me. I thought I deserved what he did. I know different now. But I didn't love him, and I let him almost destroy me because I didn't know what to do or how to make it stop. When you lied to me, I felt helpless all over again. You had all the power. You made the choice for me, and there was nothing I could do about it. I've never felt that way with you before and that hurt. Knowing how I feel about you, how easily you could break me… after what I went through with him, that's terrifying for me, Jared."

  "I would never break you, baby," I whisper past the lump in my throat. "I love you so fucking much."

  "I know that. I've always known that, but I panicked. I'm sorry."

  "I was terrified when I heard you outside. Knowing I couldn't get to you, that I couldn't protect you from him, wrecked me, Savannah. All I wanted to do was keep you safe, and I couldn't even do that. It killed me."

  "I'm here," she says, leaning down to press her forehead to mine. Her tears fall on my face, hot and healing at once. "And I'm not going anywhere. Not ever."

  We sit there for long moments, her forehead pressed against mine, her gaze tangled with mine, just reveling in this moment. Despite everything, we've survived. We're still here, still fighting. Both of us have made mistakes and messed up. Both of us have done things we're not proud of. But we're here. We're alive. And we can move forward, together. McKee didn't win, and he'll never threaten my girl again. Or our baby.

  "Our baby is growing inside you," I whisper, awed all over again. And then the worry sets in. "H-how are you? Both of you? You've been under so much stress, and you've lost weight."

  "We're okay," she promises me, sitting up and offering me a reassuring smile as she dries her tears. "I wanted to wait to see the doctor until… until you could be there, but after everything, we had to be sure the baby was okay." She looks guilty, like she cheated me out of something. "I'm sorry."

  "Don't apologize, beautiful girl. You were taking care of yourself and our baby when I couldn't. Knowing you're both okay is all that matters to me." As much as I wish I could have been there, I'm glad she did the smart thing.

  "I thought you were going to die and you'd never even know," she whispers, her hand squeezing mine over her stomach. "Waiting for you to wake up for the last week has been hell. The thought that I'd never see you again, that our baby would never know you-" she breaks off and takes a breath, anger sparking in her eyes. "I'm glad Drake killed him, Jared. Maybe that makes me a terrible person, but I hate him so much for trying to take you from me."

  "You're not terrible," I whisper to her, the same thing she said to me so long ago, the words that gave me hope and put my heart firmly into her capable hands. "Not at all."

  She leans down over me again, moving carefully, and then her lips brush mine.

  For the first time since I woke—no, for the first time since McKee reappeared, I feel like I can breathe again.

  Chapter Nineteen

  All Cried Out

  Three days later, I'm resting comfortably, having graduated from the step-dow
n unit to a normal hospital room. Despite her objections, I've got Savannah snuggled onto the small bed with me. She's sleeping deeply, and I'm just staring at her, so thankful for the girl in my arms, it's unreal. My hand rests on her stomach.

  I can't stop touching her.

  For the last three days, my hands have been on her, running over her stomach. Every time I do it, she glows. I never imagined her getting pregnant so soon, but I'm thrilled. Beyond thrilled. I can't fucking wait to see her big and pregnant with our baby. I'm already dying to hold our child in my arms. I've never wanted anything more than I want a future with this girl. And I want it all—marriage, a house full of kids, sleepless nights and long days—as soon as humanly possible.

  She refuses to leave my side, and as much as I wish she'd go to the mansion to rest, I want her here. It's comforting to me, knowing my girl and our baby are beside me, safe and sound. The last few days have been a blur of activity and faces. The local police and my superiors at the FBI have been here, doctors and nurses parade in and out, and our family is here as often as possible.

  Reporters camp outside, waiting for a statement I'm not inclined to give them. As far as I'm concerned, they'll never know anything more than what was entered into the official reports. Savannah agrees with me. As frustrating as it is to know they're still out there to hound us, I know they'll move along eventually. Now that McKee's dead, there is no more drama to capture here.

  Savannah and I have done a lot of talking in the last few days, laying everything out on the table. She still hasn't contacted her mom, but I think reading her mom's letter helped reassure her that the door is always open for her whenever she decides she's ready to step through it. And I'll be there with her when she does.

  I'm done keeping things from her. We'll face whatever comes our way together. It's how it was always meant to be. I'm just sorry it took so much heartache to wake me up to how much I was hurting my girl by trying to keep her in the dark. She needs to know what's happening. Even when things are uncomfortable or frightening, not knowing is infinitely worse to her. I'm not sure why I didn't understand that before, but I do now. How can I not? She's had no say for so much of her life. She needs some semblance of control, just like Evans and Lexi both tried to tell me. I feel like an ass for not really understanding that myself.

  I find myself grateful to Drake Evans for a hell of a lot since waking. He took a bullet to protect my fiancée and child. Granted, it was through his shoulder, but had he not pushed Savannah out of the way, I don't know if she would be here with me now. I remember McKee aiming my gun at her head. It's going to take a long time before that image fades away. That Evans saved her life when I couldn't? I'll owe him until the day I die.

  He's been more than useful at T.I. as well. At some point while I lay in the ICU, he confirmed that Tracey Milton was leaking information on Lexi and Talbot International. From what I understand, she was having an affair with Reed Sinclair. She was slipping information to a reporter friend, trying to secure Sinclair's nomination to Lexi's position. Sinclair claims he didn't know, and I'm inclined to believe him, but it's over for both of them now. Tracey was fired, Sinclair resigned, and the Board of Directors has more or less been forced to accept that Lexi's in charge. It'll take a while to work out the kinks, but some of the burden on her shoulders has been lifted.

  I don't know what happened between them while I was out, but she stopped pushing him away. The way he looks at her makes it clear he'd follow her to hell if that's what she wanted. I couldn't be happier for them. Lex deserves someone who makes her happy. It eases my mind to know that the person she's chosen is more than capable of taking care of her and her sisters.

  It's taken a hell of a lot longer than it should have, but for once since Paulson and McKee began wreaking havoc in our lives, things are finally settling. The threats against us are gone. Now we learn how to live freely, without fear or reservation. I'm not quite sure what that means for me and Savannah given that McKee destroyed our apartment and died in her house, but we'll figure it out.

  Savannah shifts against me and sighs, a sweet sound in the muted light of the room. I run my fingers through her hair, just watching her. Her color has returned over the last few days, the flush in her cheeks healthy once again. Pain still lurks in her gaze, especially when the respiratory therapist comes to torture me with breathing exercises, but little by little, the pain fades for both of us. I'm stronger every day, and Savannah's happier than she's been in weeks.

  Happy looks absolutely perfect on her.

  "Hey man," Chris says from the doorway.

  I look up to find him leaning against the doorjamb, watching us with a big smile on his face.

  "How's she doing?" he asks, walking toward us. He keeps his voice pitched low so as not to wake her up. When he reaches my bedside, he holds his fist out for me to bump it.

  "She's good," I murmur, smiling when she sighs again and snuggles closer to me.

  Chris watches her for a moment before catching my gaze again. "She looks better," he whispers. "She had me worried for a while there."

  I feel a frown pulling at my lips. No one's told me everything that happened when I was in an induced coma, but the little bits and pieces they have shared make my heart hurt for my girl. She was broken, refusing to leave my room for even a minute. Katrina and Lexi had to force her to eat and sleep. Dr. Jansen and my father finally sent one of the OB/GYNs on staff to check her over and make sure the stress hadn't done any harm to the baby.

  I hate that she was in so much pain, terrified her and the baby were going to lose me. I never want her to go through something like that again. Not ever. Law enforcement is tough, and it's dangerous, which is why I've had to think long and hard about taking the job Cameron Lewis's Captain offered me. I don't want Savannah worrying every time I walk out the front door. But then she reminded me that our family isn't the only one that's been torn apart by violence, and that it wouldn't be fair to let fear keep me from helping others.

  Christ, I'm in awe of her. She's so strong, so compassionate. And despite everything I've put her through, she loves me.

  "I'm so fucking lucky," I mumble, smiling down at her like a crazy person.

  Chris laughs loudly. "Dude, she's sleeping. Stop perving on her."

  I give him the finger without looking up.

  Savannah's eyes flutter open, landing on me. For a minute, she appears confused, like she isn't quite sure why I'm staring at her or what's going on, and then her expression softens, those brown eyes melting as she gives me that look—the one I live for. It's so full of love and happiness, my heart rolls, a wave of tenderness washing through me.

  Her hand comes up to rest against my jaw. "I was dreaming about you," she says, her sweet voice rough with sleep.

  "Yeah?"

  "Mmhmm," she mumbles, stretching against me. "How long was I out?"

  "A couple of hours," I reach down to brush strands of hair out of her face, aching to feel her lips against mine, but I still can't manage certain positions without hurting like hell. "Did you sleep well?"

  "Mmhmm." Her cheeks flush, heat flooding her expression.

  Chris chuckles again, startling Savannah who damn near falls out of the bed whipping around to look at him. I have to bite back a groan when her elbow catches the large, fading bruise across my ribcage.

  "I didn't know you were here," she says to Chris.

  He smirks down at her, wagging his brows. "I noticed. Were you having dirty thoughts about my brother, Baby Mama?"

  My eyes narrow on him when Savannah's blush deepens and she hides her face in her hands. I'm dying to know what she was dreaming about now, but I'm not about to ask her in front of my pain in the ass brother.

  "Fuck off, Chris. And stop calling her that. She's not having your baby, she's having mine." He only does it because he knows it irritates the shit out of me.

  "Nope." He smirks again. "Baby Mama fits her."

  I blow out a breath, not even arguing with him. It'
s hopeless. He's teased me merciless about sleeping through my baby's first ultrasound, leaving him to hold my girl's hand. If I didn't know how worried he was about me, I'd have paid someone to strangle him already, but he's been hovering almost as much as Savannah and my parents. I think the fact that our last conversation ended in an argument unnerved him. He cried when he saw I was awake. And he's doing his damnedest to make sure we forget it ever happened.

  "Don't you have a new husband to annoy?" Savannah demands when he keeps on.

  "I don't annoy him," Chris says, crossing his arms over his chest and winking. "I rock his world."

  "Didn't need to hear that," Savannah mumbles, rubbing her eyes. "Go away."

  "You're grouchy. Remind me not to wake you in the middle of your sex dreams anymore."

  "Fuck off, Chris," I say again when Savannah gasps, turning bright red. What the hell was she dreaming about?

  Christ, I'm dying to get lost inside her again. If they don't release me from this hospital soon, I swear to God, I'm going to make her ride me to exhaustion in this bed. And I know damn well I'm in no condition to even try it.

  "Don't worry, Baby Mama," he says. "I just came to tell you that I did that thing you asked me to do with that thing for that thing."

  Savannah freezes in the act of turning away from him. "You did?"

  "Yep." He leans down and kisses her on the cheek. "You're welcome." He holds his hand out for me to bump his fist again. "I'll go away now, since you asked so nicely, Baby Mama. Be good, bro." He smirks at Savannah again. "Have fun, Baby Mama."

  "What did he do?" I ask, turning back to Savannah when he's gone.

  "Nothing."

  My eyes narrow on her. She sucks at lying. "Tell me, beautiful girl."

  "No. It's a surprise, and you aren't allowed to ask any questions."

  I watch her for a moment, trying to decide if I want to argue. With a shrug, I let it go, figuring I'll find out what they're up to soon enough. "Fine, then let's talk about this sex dream," I murmur, pulling her closer to me.