Destined

by Jessie Harrell

  “Yes ma’am,” Mathias said, but without his usually paternal tone. My door banged shut with more force than a happy person would’ve used to close it.

  As the pounding sounds in my head began to quiet, I was able to think well enough to realize that hitting my head had actually been a good thing. There was no better excuse for pushing Aris away than having a headache. It’d worked last night, after all.

  I passed fitfully in and out of sleep. When I finally awoke, the last rays of the day were being sucked down into the earth, pulling a blanket of orange and pink in their wake. With a start, I realized I hadn’t stashed my knife and lantern yet and popped out of bed. The sudden blood drain from my head made me so dizzy that I thought I was getting another migraine, but I managed to steady myself on the headboard until the stars disappeared from my vision.

  Grabbing the lantern off the vanity, I untucked the knife from my belted waist. As I stashed the items under the bed, I hoped he had no reason to glance there tonight.

  I didn’t go to dinner since I didn’t have the stomach for food. Besides, I figured there was a better than average chance that anything I ate would come back up again. So after stashing my contraband, I sulked in my bed and waited, willing the minutes to pass more slowly so I could put off the deed.

  When darkness finally enveloped the palace, Aris appeared in his shrouded form, like always. But that night, his cloak had returned to feeling ominous rather than invitingly mysterious.

  I winced when he wrapped me in his arms and my reaction obviously caught him off-guard. As quickly as he had embraced me, he released me and studied me with those piercing blue eyes of his.

  “What’s wrong, Love?” he asked. “Has your sister —”

  “No.” I cut him off. My sister was the last subject I wanted to discuss with him. I tilted my head and showed off the swollen lump above my right eye. “I fell is all. It just really hurts.”

  Without saying a word, he leaned forward and kissed my tender bump. Warmth coursed through the wound and the sensation made me lightheaded and less painful.

  I searched his eyes for some trace of evil. Something to keep me committed to my plan when he otherwise seemed so innocent and loving. Despite my best efforts to hold it back, a single tear pricked its way over the threshold of my eye and spilled down my cheek. He gently kissed that away too.

  “Is something else bothering you?”

  I hesitated for a second longer than I should’ve before weakly answering, “No.”

  He tilted up my chin with the soft tips of his fingers and held my gaze. “I’ll kill her if she caused you any pain.”

  “Stop it!” I screamed, batting his hand away from my face. “Do not talk about my family like that! How could you even say such a thing?”

  I turned my back on him and hid my face in my pillow, sobbing again.

  “Psyche, I’m sorry.” He stroked my back. Every touch felt like a pinprick that I had to fight to keep from wincing over. “I wasn’t thinking.”

  I twitched my shoulder in a gesture that I hoped said stop touching me, and told him — again — that my head really hurt and I just wanted to go to sleep.

  “Do you want me to leave?” he asked.

  “No,” I answered, maybe too quickly, while snapping my head up to look at him. If he left, I wouldn’t be able to kill him. “No, please stay. I feel better when you’re here.”

  The lie had been easier to speak than I would’ve expected. And he seemed to believe me.

  “Anything,” he answered, giving my hair a final brush with his hand. “I’ll always be here if you need me.”

  All I could think was: not if I can help it.

  I was glad I’d napped all afternoon. Otherwise, out-waiting him to fall asleep would’ve been impossible. It seemed to take hours before his breathing settled into the rhythmic in and out that signaled he’d finally dozed off. I’d been faking the sounds of sleep myself for so long that I was in a nearly dream-like trance when it happened. My steady breathing had helped to calm and relax me though, so when I did hear him give a little newly-asleep snort, I was mentally ready to carry out my plan.

  At first I was only brave enough to slip my left leg out from under the covers. I watched his cloudy form to make sure it didn’t move or that his eyes didn’t suddenly open. Then I let my toes touch the marble floor and slid myself to the edge of the bed.

  When he snorted and shifted in bed, I froze contorted, half-in and half-out of the bed. Real stealth. How was I supposed to explain why I was laying wrapped over the edge of the mattress if he woke up? I held my breath and waited until his breathing returned to its steady pace.

  Slowly, I slipped completely off the bed and crouched on the floor. Feeling around for the dagger and lantern, I silently wished I hadn’t tucked them quite so far under the bed when I’d hidden them earlier. Sitting on the cool floor, I went over my plan for the millionth time in my head. Turn on the lantern, see the monster; drive my knife into his heart, kill the monster. It was that quick and easy. It’d be over before I knew it. I’ll be safe again. I repeated that last thought like a mantra as I slowly rose from the floor.

  I’ll be safe again. I’ll be safe again.

  Holding the lantern in my left hand and the dagger in my right, I crept around the bed until I stood directly over the sleeping black mass of monster. I closed my eyes one final time and then lit the lantern.

  Chapter 36 - Psyche

  The gentle light of the lantern cast its warm glow over Aris. As I blinked through the sudden brightness, I saw the light slowly piercing through his shroud. I braced myself for the most horrid form I could imagine. Flaky green scales, black oily wings, or razor-sharp claws. I figured that if he could create the palace and all that was in it, he could easily make me feel delicate skin and curly, boyish hair.

  So when the shroud began to fall away, revealing flesh rather than scales, I sucked in a surprised gasp. The light pierced his shroud more and more, revealing all the features I’d felt under my fingertips as we’d flown together, eaten together … kissed together.

  His soft, delicate fingers rested easily across the chiseled muscles of his chest. Tucked behind his back were wings so white they seemed to glimmer. Before I could stop myself, I reached out and touched the tip of a satiny, white feather.

  And suddenly, I knew.

  Blood surged up my neck, pulsing and throbbing, threatening to pop a vessel if I couldn’t get my temper under control. How dare he be the one!

  I followed the light up his body as it cut through the darkness and revealed his face. Sure enough, it was the face I had no business not remembering, even if I couldn’t see it with my eyes.

  With his head turned to the side in sleep, I could see his perfectly-defined jaw line, his soft bow-shaped lips, his classically straight nose, and his long, dark eyelashes. Thick curls the color of dark amber fell carelessly around his smooth face.

  My mind spun. How had this happened? Eros had hated me. I’d hated him.

  Had he tricked me into these feelings, only to leave me a crumpled mess later? That had to be the plan. Aphrodite’s. His. I didn’t care. Attacking my heart felt like a worse betrayal than when I’d thought he was going to kill me soon.

  And then an even more mind-boggling thought slipped into place. I almost killed Eros. Correction — tried to kill Eros. You don’t kill gods. But still!

  When I realized what I’d almost done, I instinctively jerked back and the knife slipped from my grasp. It fell to the marble floor with a piercing series of clangs as it bounced several times before finally stopping. I stooped too quickly to pick up the knife — as if picking it up could somehow take back the sound — not bothering to think about the lantern I held in my other trembling hand.

  As I leaned down, the light went out and blistering oil from the lantern sloshed over the sides. Our screams rang out through the night at the same time. I dropped the lantern and knife and howled from the painful burns on my fingers. Aris — no, Eros, w
ailed too with the unmistakable sounds of pain.

  I’d burned him.

  In a flash of brilliant light, Eros illuminated himself. He hovered, wings flapping furiously, just over the bed.

  “Is this what you wanted to see?” His voice thundered down at me.

  “Actually, no,” I snapped. “I can’t believe you did this to me.”

  “Did this to you?” he yelled. His inner light surged brighter. “What exactly did I do except fall asleep?”

  I folded my arms defensively across my chest. “You lied to me. You’ve been lying to me. Making me like you. Tricking me into kissing you.” My stomach clenched at the thought. “I actually thought you … never mind.”

  “I can’t believe you’re so blind,” he growled. “The only thing I lied to you about was my name.”

  I reached up to touch his arm, to pull him down to me so we could talk this through on equal footing, but he hovered just out of reach.

  “I’m sorry,” I mumbled. “I thought you were going to kill me. I didn’t know.”

  “Of course you didn’t know,” he boomed, suddenly seeming angrier than ever. “That’s been our deal from the start.”

  “Not our deal. Your deal,” I shot back and climbed up onto the bed. If he wouldn’t come down, I was going up. “All I’ve wanted since I got here was to see you. We wouldn’t be having this problem right now if you hadn’t been hiding.”

  “No, that’s right,” he said, trimming in his wings and dropping down to look me right in the eyes, “we wouldn’t, because we’d be dead. My mother would’ve taken us both out by now for defying her.”

  Covering my eyes with my hand, I sighed. “So what do we do now?”

  “We? There is no we. I’ve got to get out of here before —”

  When I uncovered my face to see what’d made him stop mid-sentence, I realized his eyes were locked on something on the floor.

  The knife.

  His eyes were wide and round. In them I read horror. Fury. Grief.

  His nostrils flared as he cut his penetrating glare back to me. He clenched his teeth so hard that I could see the veins stand out on his jaw. “What. Were. You. Doing?” He punctuated each word with anger.

  I couldn’t answer him. I didn’t even want to admit to myself what I’d planned, how could I tell him?

  Eros grabbed my face with both his hands, forcing my eyes to meet his. “Tell me what you were doing,” he hissed. “All of our secrets are out now, right?”

  I shuddered under his cold stare, but tried to explain as best I could. “I was falling for you, just like the prophecy said, and it felt so right,” I started.

  “Save it for a night when I haven’t caught you slinking around with a knife.”

  Jerking my head out of his grasp, I hissed, “Do you want my answer or not?”

  He was silent.

  “Okay, just hear me out. I didn’t believe my sister at first. She said you were going to fatten me up to eat or something.” I snorted. Of all the ridiculous ideas. How had I even thought that?

  He was looking away now, and I needed him to believe I was being sincere. Although it was Eros and not Aris, if he’d been telling me the truth about everything else, he deserved to know what was going on. I slipped my hands into his. His touch still sent blissful shivers rippling over my skin even though we were fighting.

  “I knew you’d never hurt me. I felt that.” I squeezed harder. “But after everything that happened with Al—”

  He cut me off, dropping my hands and stepping away as he did. “How many times was I supposed to say I loved you before you believed it?” I looked down guiltily. “Before you’d stop planning my murder?”

  “You’re making this way worse than it needs to me.” I blinked and a wave of tears spilled down my face. “Can we talk about this please? I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.” Swallowing back the lump rising in my throat, I breathed, “I think I could’ve loved you.”

  Eros looked down into my eyes. Studying me, reading me. “I think you could’ve too.”

  His eyes moistened.

  “You’ll never know how much this pains me,” he said. “Goodbye, Psyche.”

  His words were worse than having a spear run through my chest. That was it? After all the promises he made to love me forever and now he was telling me goodbye? The agony in my heart told me right then that what we’d had was more than a chance at love — we’d actually had it.

  And I’d literally been too blind to see anything but my own fear.

  I opened my eyes to the sounds of his wings carrying him toward the window. I couldn’t let him leave like this. This was not how things were supposed to end between us.

  With a swiftness I never knew I had, I lunged from the bed and grabbed hold of his ankle. “You’re not leaving,” I told him. “Not like this.”

  Reaching down, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me up until I was crushed against his chest. His eyes were hard as we crossed the window threshold and floated into the garden.

  “You’re right. I can’t leave you like this, can I?”

  A tiny wave of hope swelled in me. Until he continued.

  “Too much evidence.” He dropped me into the dew-soaked grass and quickly soared out of reach.

  “What?” I stammered.

  “I’m sorry, Psyche, but you need to get away from the palace. Now.”

  And then the earth began to shake. The foundation to the palace buckled and gave way; the roof collapsed. A choking dust rose around me as I watched everything I’d come to know, to think of as my life in these past few days, reduced to rubble.

  The sound of his heavy wing beats faded into the distance.

  Chapter 37 - Psyche

  As I looked off into the darkness, searching for Eros, I heard a familiar voice behind me.

  “What happened?” Alexa wailed.

  “Oh Alexa, you’ve got to help me!”

  “What did you do?” she asked.

  I looked down, unable to meet the eyes I knew were boring into my head. “I believed her…” my voice trailed off. I hoped that would tell Alexa enough of what she needed to know. How could I admit to more?

  “And what? I’ve got to know how bad this is if I’m going to fix it.”

  I looked over her shoulder to the ruined palace. Nodding my head in that direction, I said, “It’s bad.” I gave a heavy sigh before I continued. “I didn’t believe her at first. My sister said he was a monster but I didn’t believe her. Not really. Until I saw you talking to Chara. And you were laughing at me.” My voice had fallen into a tiny whisper.

  I heard her suck in a sharp breath. “Psyche, I’m so sorry. You were never supposed to see me. It’s horrible luck for you to have seen me. I mean really, really horrible.”

  “Then why? Why did my sister get to see you?”

  “Because I was trying to give her bad luck. She was so awful while she was here, I thought she deserved it. And we — well, me — I wasn’t laughing at you, sweetie. I had to give her some reason why you couldn’t see me and she could.” By now, Alexa was hugging me tightly and rocking me back and forth slowly, comfortingly.

  “I’m so glad you made it out okay.” I shuddered. “The palace crumbled so fast.”

  “He’s got his mother’s temper, but I don’t think he’ll hold a grudge against you for long.” Alexa tried to sound assuring, but I heard plenty of doubt weighing in her voice. “You’ve got to show him you’re sorry, and I’m sure he’ll forgive you.” She held me at arms-length. “What did you say to make him so mad anyway?”

  “It’s not so much what I said, as what I did.”

  Alexa was silent, meaning I had to continue.

  “I thought he was going to kill me.” I rushed through the rest of my tale hoping if I spat the words out quickly enough, the impact wouldn’t be as bad. “So I got a knife and a lantern, and I looked at him, and I was going to stab him, but then I saw him, and I knew my sister was wrong and I panicked, and I dropped the knife and spill
ed hot oil on him and he woke up and saw what was going on and we fought and now he hates me.”

  “Crap,” Alexa said, standing and letting go of my shoulders. “This is going to be very hard to fix. Not impossible, but close. I’ll try to think of something, but you need to try to find him. Don’t stop searching.”

  “Wait! Where are you going? You can’t leave me too,” I howled at her.

  “I have no choice. He’s calling me. I can’t refuse.”

  Panic welled up from my chest. “Where do I go? I don’t even know where to look.”