ZAAN (Sidewinders: Generations Book 1)

by Kat Mizera

  “I want you to meet him. Get to know him, so you see firsthand that we’re just friends and that he’s good people. Someone you could maybe even be friends with.”

  “I’m good, babe. Really. My question is, how are you going to do a project like this if you’re going back out on the road with Special Kay?”

  “I don’t know,” she admitted, “but they’ve said they’ll work with me on scheduling, so we’re going to have to play it by ear.”

  There was so much more to say, but maybe it was better if I didn’t. She’d settled back against me and soon dropped off to sleep. I was wide awake now, though, my thoughts racing as I contemplated this new development. I honestly wasn’t as jealous anymore. She’d had a chance with him, and for whatever reason, neither of them had wanted it. I felt good about that, knowing she’d been loving me while I’d been loving her, but I couldn’t help the worry in the back of my mind. A project with Pretty Harts would almost certainly mean big things for her. Things that would take her away from me yet again. There was no way they wouldn’t tour if the album took off. Cover material or not, Lexi was talented, and with names like Casey Hart and Jayson Keller appearing on the album, it would sell. Sales meant another album, a tour, and who knows what else.

  All those were things that would break us apart geographically, if not emotionally. And I honestly didn’t know if I could do it again.

  Practices were intense now that we were getting closer to the end of the regular season, and I was doing my best to compartmentalize so I could focus only on hockey when I was working and only on Lexi when we were together. It wasn’t easy, though, and Lexi tried to give me space on game days so I could get in the zone. I didn’t see her before I left for the arena, but she’d texted me, saying she needed extra tickets for the game. I didn’t think about who she might be bringing since I rarely used the tickets allotted to me as a player and my parents didn’t get to Vegas for many games.

  They would come for playoff games, though, and were hoping to meet Lexi, after hearing so much about her, but part of me was worried she’d be gone. We were still a month away from the playoffs and she probably would be on the road by then. My parents asked about her a lot, and Lexi said she wanted to meet them too, so it was disappointing that we were never in the same place at a time when my parents could be there too.

  I was distracted when I got to the arena, which wasn’t good when I had a game in a few hours, so I forced myself to stop thinking about Lexi, my parents, and anything else that might throw me off. The situation would still be there after the game, and I’d give it my full attention then.

  “Is Lexi coming tonight?” Tore asked me as we changed into our equipment.

  “Of course.”

  “Cool. Have you officially introduced her as your girlfriend yet?”

  “I need to make it official?” I asked quizzically.

  “Well, yeah. Everyone does.”

  Our eyes met and he cocked his head. “You know, like after a game or whatever.”

  “Dude, we’ve been together on and off for years, and she’s Coach Rousseau’s daughter. Everyone that needs to know already knows.”

  He made a face. “You two haven’t made any public appearances together. How come?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about, man, but can this wait until after the game?”

  He shrugged. “Your funeral.”

  I had no idea what the hell he was talking about.

  I had a great game, scoring both a goal and an assist, so I’d forgotten all about my weird conversation with Tore. We did a postgame meeting, a few interviews with the press, and then showered and changed. Everyone was in high spirits, psyched that we’d clinched a playoff spot and anxious to see our families.

  There was a bit of a commotion in the family lounge and I glanced at Tore. “What’s going on?”

  “I think Casey Hart is here,” he responded.

  I groaned because I had a feeling I knew who else was here.

  13

  Lexi

  I wasn’t sure bringing Casey, Tyler and Bash to the game and then into the family lounge was my brightest idea, but I was running out of time to introduce them to Zaan because I was probably leaving within the week. I really didn’t want Bash to be a point of contention between us, and in my heart I was positive the easiest way to squash Zaan’s concerns would be for them to meet. Once he saw that Bash was a good guy, he’d hopefully stop worrying and I could focus on getting through the next eight weeks or so.

  Casey knew my concerns and had told me she thought it was a good idea too, so she was keeping my nerves in check while we waited for the team to arrive.

  “It’s going to be fine,” she said softly as the first guys came into the room. Tyler and Bash were already talking to Dax O’Day, one of the players they apparently worked out with sometimes, and they were quickly joined by a couple of the other guys who recognized them.

  I glanced at her. “Why am I so nervous?”

  “It’s going to be fine,” she whispered. “Here he comes. Now introduce me.”

  I smiled and turned to greet him, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Great game, babe.”

  “Thanks.” He kissed me.

  “Come meet Casey Hart.” I tugged his hand.

  “Hi!” Casey gave him a bright smile. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

  “Me too.” He shook her hand. “I’m a big fan of your music.”

  “I’m a big fan of your playing.”

  They grinned at each other.

  “You want to meet the rest of the band?” I asked, looking up at him. “Tyler Thompson and Bash James are here too.”

  He hesitated for a split second; if I didn’t know him as well as I did, I would have missed it. But he masked his discomfort well and nodded before saying, “Of course. You’ve been talking about them for ages.”

  I motioned to Tyler and he nudged Bash, and they both headed in our direction.

  “Hey, man.” Tyler put out his hand. “I’m a big fan of yours. That overtime goal you scored against Colorado last season was fucking epic.”

  “Thanks.” Zaan smiled. “I’m a big fan of yours too. In fact, I think ‘Revved on Remorse’ is my favorite song by Pretty Harts.”

  “That’s awesome, dude. Thanks.” Tyler fist-bumped him.

  I was impressed Zaan knew Tyler had written that particular song and sang some of the vocals as well.

  “This is Bash.” Tyler motioned to Bash, who also held out his hand.

  “Hey, good to meet you.” Bash’s smile was casual and friendly, as I’d known it would be, and to his credit, Zaan seemed pretty relaxed as well.

  “Lexi’s told me a lot about you guys,” Zaan said. “She’s excited about this project you’re talking about too.”

  “It’s going to be amazing,” Tyler said, his dark eyes gleaming. “I mean, Lexi’s voice is bitchin’, and having her sing with us will be way cool. I can’t wait until she’s done with Special Kay so we can get started.”

  “I have some great ideas,” I interjected.

  “I’m looking forward to doing something that isn’t related to being pregnant,” Casey said, laughing.

  “You need to make sure you don’t overdo it,” Bash told her, putting an arm around her shoulders. “I don’t want that husband of yours putting out a hit on us or anything.”

  “Erik can’t wait to hear what we come up with,” she told him with a grin. “And don’t worry, I plan on getting plenty of rest.”

  We talked and joked for a few more minutes, but a lot of the guys were leaving and I figured Zaan was tired.

  “I think we’re going to get going,” I said after a little while, sliding my hand into his. “Zaan needs to rest almost as much as a pregnant woman.”

  “I confess,” Zaan said, smiling. “I sleep a lot during hockey season.”

  “’Cause you’re a fucking badass on the ice,” Bash said. “I don’t know how you guys do what you do for so many minutes
every game.”

  “Not like a drummer who plays a seventy- or eighty-minute set every night on tour,” Zaan countered.

  Bash nodded. “Well, I guess you got me there.”

  They all shook hands and within five minutes we were headed out to the players’ parking lot. Zaan was holding my hand but was quiet, and I wasn’t sure if he was mad or something else.

  “You okay?” I asked as we got into his truck.

  “Yeah.” He turned and leaned over to give me a light kiss on the lips. “I was a little startled that you brought Tyler and Bash to the game, but you’re right. They’re nice guys.”

  “They are.” I laced my fingers with his. “And they’re huge fans of yours. Tyler and Casey have season tickets to the Sidewinders and Bash comes to a lot of the games with Tyler.”

  “I met Jayson Keller a few times,” he said. “He used to come to all the games, but I guess he and Casey are divorced now?”

  “Yeah. He’s living in Monte Carlo with his new wife, but he’s going to teleconference with us sometime next week to decide what songs we want to do and when we can record them. He’ll fly in for that.”

  “So this cover song project is really happening.” He looked thoughtful.

  “It’s all going to depend on Special fucking Kay, but yes, that’s the plan. It’s amazing, right?”

  “I’m excited for you.” When he looked at me, I saw that he meant it. His eyes gleamed with love and adoration and, to my surprise, respect. What I saw tonight went beyond the way he usually looked at me, something stronger and deeper, very much a reflection of our growing bond.

  We were still feeling things out, but I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else or doing this with anyone else. Seeing Declan again proved just how much I loved Zaan because I felt less than nothing for Declan, beyond friendship and a professional kinship. Hopefully, Zaan felt better about it too, though one meeting probably wouldn’t be enough.

  “But you have to be okay with it,” I said after a moment. “I see you struggling with me being friends with Dec—Bash—and I don’t want that to come between us.”

  “It won’t. I’m good. Really. Yes, there’s a little jealousy, but it’s really not about him. It’s about you leaving again and our history of not being able to make things work. He seems like a decent guy, and I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt and trust that he’s also respectful. Not just of you, but of the fact that you’re taken. The rest is irrelevant.”

  “It is,” I said softly. “Because I love you. Not him.”

  “And that’s all I need to hear. Now, tell me more about the songs you have in mind.”

  Zaan had practice in the morning and I was waiting for a call from Tawdra. I’d told everyone involved they had to deal with her directly because I couldn’t stand talking to Bernie or the rep from the record company. He’d gotten even creepier as time went on, and then he’d divorced his wife last year, making him worse. My father had a few words with him after a show one time a couple of years ago, though, and that seemed to scare him off some, but I wanted as little to do with any of them as possible.

  When her name flashed on the screen of my phone, I cringed.

  This was it.

  “Hey.” I couldn’t hide the dejection in my voice.

  “Hey, hon.” Tawdra sounded down too.

  “How bad?” I asked.

  “Well…you need to meet the band in L.A. next week. You’ll play two nights in L.A. and one in Anaheim before heading to Phoenix.”

  “Great.”

  “Then Vegas.”

  “Well, that’s good at least.” With my luck, the Sidewinders would be on the road, but I tried not to think about it.

  “I just emailed you the itinerary. You said you’d rather jam more dates into a shorter time if they could make it work, so that’s what they did. There are five shows a week scheduled with very few days off. Are your vocal cords going to make it with that much work?”

  “My vocal cords and I will be fine,” I said firmly. “Is it a full eight weeks?”

  “Almost nine, but it includes all the gigs you missed, so once you’re done, you’re done.”

  “Except for the next album.”

  “One hurdle at a time, Lex.”

  “I’m not doing it. I’ll finish the tour, because the financial and professional repercussions were basically insurmountable, but another album and tour aren’t happening. I don’t care what they threaten me with. I don’t own anything they can put a lien on except royalties, so they can suck my imaginary dick.”

  Tawdra busted up laughing. “Okay, let’s relax on the imaginary dick-sucking. I’ll work on getting you out of the next album as long as you promise to behave on tour.”

  “I’m not the one who has to behave,” I said quietly.

  “Have you hired a security guard yet? They need his credentials.”

  Shit. I’d forgotten about that.

  “That’s my next phone call,” I promised. “I’ll let you know as soon as I find someone.”

  I disconnected and dug around my contacts. Casey had suggested someone for me and I hadn’t called him yet. Here it was. His name was Chains, which was kind of scary, but Casey said he was the absolute best and completely trustworthy.

  “Westfield & Carruthers.” The voice that answered the phone had a clipped British accent and I momentarily paused.

  “Yes, hello. My name is Lexi Rousseau. Casey Hart recommended your company to me. I’m looking for…Chains?”

  “You’ve got him.” The voice on the other end softened. “Or Darryl, if you prefer. What can I do for you, Ms. Rousseau?”

  “I need a bodyguard for approximately eight or nine weeks while I’m on tour.”

  “Ah, you’re that Lexi Rousseau. From Special Kay.”

  “Yes.”

  “So this is personal security, not band security?”

  “Correct. I basically need protection from the rest of the band.”

  My comment was met with silence and I would have laughed if it wasn’t so serious.

  “I see.”

  “Are you available?”

  “I’ll need the exact dates.”

  I pulled up the itinerary Tawdra had sent me and gave him the pertinent information.

  “Does it have to be me personally?” he asked. “Or are you okay with one of my associates?”

  “As long as it’s someone you trust with my life, I’m good. Casey said you’re the best and a friend to boot, so I came to you first.”

  “That’s good to hear. Give me a few hours and I’ll get back to you.”

  “Thank you.” I hung up and sat on the couch wearily.

  Fuck.

  I was going to have to go no matter what I wanted and Zaan was going to be upset. And even after suffering through two months of sheer misery, I still wouldn’t be free because we had another fight coming up regarding the next album. This fucking sucked and I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to cry. I’d already shed all the tears I was going to cry over Special Kay. I had to prepare myself for the next two months and try to find a way to balance everything I had to do with the things I wanted to do. Not to mention my relationship with Zaan.

  Had I already mentioned that this sucked?

  14

  Zaan

  Lexi was on the phone when I got home, so I showered and changed. When I came out, she was on the couch with her laptop and the look in her eyes told me she’d heard something from Special Kay. I sat beside her and slid an arm around her shoulders.

  “When do you leave?” I asked.

  “I head to L.A. on Sunday. Monday will be a full day of rehearsals and the first shows are there, Tuesday and Wednesday. Thursday in Anaheim, Friday in Phoenix, and Saturday here in Vegas before we hit the road.” She slumped down a little, a dejected sigh escaping her.

  “If you’d let me hire a lawyer,” I said slowly, “I could—”

  “I know you want to help, but at the end of the day, it’s just going to be a wast
e of time and money. We’ll delay the inevitable a few weeks, maybe a month, spend a shit ton of money, and most likely I’ll have to do it anyway. I’ve already had an attorney look at it and the contract is pretty ironclad.”

  “Your guy is an entertainment attorney with strong ties to the industry and your record label. I think if we got an outsider, a shark whose sole job is to tear it up and find loopholes, you might get—”

  “Zaan, I love you for wanting to help, but really, I just want to get this over with. All these delays make me want to puke, so I’d rather do it and in eight weeks it’ll be over.”

  I sighed. “Babe, this is stressing you out… Why won’t you let me fix it?”

  “Because I have to handle things myself. I don’t want this to be our dynamic, where I continue to get into shit and you bail me out, whether it’s emotionally like when we met or financially or anything else. You know how my mom used to treat me and I can’t be in a relationship with someone who reminds me of my helicopter parent of a mom. I’m a big girl and I need you to respect that.”

  “I do respect you. How is me wanting to help not respecting you?”

  “Because you’re insinuating that my lawyer isn’t any good and you can find a better one. I really don’t want to fight about this, okay? We only have a few days left together so can you let this go? Please?”

  I bit back a sarcastic retort, unsure how to deal with this, or her in this situation. Things were about to get complicated, again, and she was resisting any attempts for me to try to stop her from leaving. If she’d been excited about going, that would have been a different story, but because she didn’t want to go, I was having a hard time understanding her reluctance to let me help. Isn’t that what people who loved each other did?

  Nate’s father owned one of the biggest software companies in the U.S. and their family had a shark of a lawyer. With Nate’s father’s company based in Texas, he might not be licensed to practice in Nevada, but he would be able to go through Lexi’s contract with a sharp eye and potentially see something her own lawyer either hadn’t seen or hadn’t thought about as a loophole.