Books for Girls - 4 Great Stories for 8 - 12 Year Olds
Page 15
Dad is big with a loud booming voice, so his nickname is Mr. Boom Boom. I wonder what my nickname for you would be if I knew you.
I blame my parents for the “nickname” thing. They give everyone in our neighborhood a nickname. Sometimes it is a bit embarrassing because we don’t remember their real names. Labrador man (yes he walks a Labrador dog) and Bob (not his real name, but he is a builder – like in Bob the Builder) all live close by. So using nicknames is a family tradition that I have inherited.
My parents have given me some shocking nicknames. The first one was Poo Shooter because of my ability to shoot explosive poos across the room…when I was a baby.
When I got a bit older, around 6, they called me Princess Grotty Snotty, due to an unfortunate incident when I was wearing my best princess costume. I had a cold and my nose was full of thick gooey green snot.
Mom had taken me to the shopping center to go to the doctors and on the way out was taking a short cut through the food court. That’s where it all went terribly wrong. Halfway through the eating area, a dear old granny type lady said to my mom, “What a beautiful princess you have there,” – that’s me of course. Granny lady stops eating her lovely looking cake and starts telling me how pretty I look. You know how, when you have a cold, you have no control over when your body decides to sneeze…well my body decided to sneeze just as she finished those kind words and smiled at me. Not just any sneeze, but perhaps the biggest and greatest sneeze in the history of mankind!!!!!!
That stopped granny lady in her tracks. She looked down at her yummy cake and it is covered in two rivers of snot. She claps her hands across her mouth. Making retching sounds she races from her table towards the toilets. Meanwhile, mom grabs my hand and drags me off to the car. Being Mrs. Absolutely Positive she says, “It’s okay, Maddi, better out than in. And besides, that cake was so unhealthy, she would have been much better off eating some nice fresh fruit.” Did I mention that Mom is really into healthy food?
And that is how I collected the lovely nickname of Princess Grotty Snotty.