Brendan

by Jennifer Domenico

  “Unbelievable. What have we told you about doing shit like that alone?”

  “It hasn’t happened in so long I didn’t even think about it.”

  “Why are you so stubborn? You could’ve waited for Scott and Dad.”

  “It’s nearly Christmas, and now that the snow melted I just wanted them up. It was stupid. I get it. I won’t do anything like that again.”

  She exhales. “You better not. If Brendan hadn’t been there—”

  “I know.” I swallow hard. “I don’t want to think about it.”

  “So, he’s nice?”

  “Really doting. Waited for me and made sure I got settled in okay. Gave me his number and told me to call if I needed anything. He even laughed.”

  “Interesting. Any idea why he’s been such a Scrooge?”

  “No, only that something bad happened at Christmas. He doesn’t want to talk about it.”

  “That’s sad. Something bad happened to us too, but we handle it.”

  “Everyone deals with stuff differently. We all know I go overboard to make it hurt a little less.”

  “Yeah, I know. It’s coming up soon.”

  “Next week. Do you think it’ll ever not feel like being stabbed in the heart when we think about it?”

  “No.”

  “Me neither. How’s dad?”

  “He seems okay. He said he’s thinking about going back to church.”

  My eyes widen. “Really? I thought he was done with that.”

  “It’s a process. I think he’s slowly finding a new normal.”

  “Good. Five years is a long time.”

  “It is. What are you doing now?”

  “Resting.”

  “Good. I’ll check on you tomorrow.”

  “Thanks, sis.”

  After hanging up, I lean back on the couch thinking about the day and admiring my tree. Something about Brendan fascinates me. Not just his obvious good looks, but everything. Maybe over time, we’ll get to know each other better. Deep down inside, there’s a good person in there. I’m sure of it.

  ~~~

  The next morning, I open my eyes to the sound of a hammer. I climb out of bed and head downstairs. After opening the front door, I peer outside and what I see makes my mouth fall open.

  Brendan sees me and smiles. “I was hoping to finish before you woke up.”

  “What are you doing?”

  “Hanging lights, of course.” I watch in complete shock as he finishes nailing a strand to the porch column. “I hope it’s what you had in mind.”

  I can’t even move. I’m so shocked. “You hung lights?”

  “Did you think I was going to let you get up there again?”

  “No.”

  “No, and I knew half-hung lights would drive you crazy, so I finished it.”

  “You finished it?”

  "Yes, and you were right. It was unbalanced, so I hung them on my side too."

  “Are you fucking kidding me?”

  His eyes open wide as he chuckles. “No.”

  “I don’t even know what to say.”

  “Get some shoes on and come out. I want to make sure it meets your vision.”

  “Yeah, okay.” I go inside, slide my feet in my shoes, and close my robe around me before stepping outside. I walk down the stairs and look back at his work. “It’s…it’s beautiful, Brendan. Gorgeous.”

  He smiles with pride. “I like how it turned out. Any changes?”

  “No.” I look up at him. “Thank you so much.”

  “My pleasure, Harper. How did you sleep?”

  “Good. Really good. I feel fine.”

  “Great news.” He searches my eyes, and as I gaze up at him, I realize I would do anything right now to kiss him. “Do you need anything else done?”

  I blink. “What?”

  “Anything else?”

  “Oh, um no. That was the last thing.”

  “Perfect. I’d say you have the most festive house on the street.”

  “Just how I like it.”

  “You should go inside. It’s cold.”

  “Yeah, it is. Thanks again.”

  “See you later, Harper.”

  “Yeah.” I walk back inside feeling like I’m moving in slow motion. That was so nice of him it’s almost unbelievable. He even decorated his side! I sit on the couch stunned. I knew there was more to him than what he shows. He wouldn’t have done that if deep down inside he wasn’t a nice person. It might just be a Christmas miracle.

  ~~~

  A few hours later, as I wrap a few family presents in the living room, my doorbell rings. I walk over and open the door, surprised at who it is.

  “Eric! What are you doing here?”

  He smiles. "I hope you don't mind the drop by. I saw Elise at the gym this morning, and she mentioned you moved in here. I'm just around the corner about two blocks."

  “No way!” I throw my arms around his shoulders. He swings me around as my eyes shift up to see Brendan coming back from his run. He walks up the stairs slowly, studying my guest. “Oh, hey, Brendan.”

  “Hi, Harper.” Eric turns and looks at him. “Um, this is my friend, Eric. Eric, my neighbor Brendan.”

  Eric extends his hand, and Brendan reluctantly shakes it. "Nice to meet you, man."

  Brendan nods. “You too.” He quickly disappears inside his house.

  “He’s nice.”

  I laugh. “He is. He just takes a while to warm up. Anyway, come in.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Of course. It’s been so long. How have you been?”

  “Good. Things are good. I moved back like three years ago, but I was just busy doing life and stuff. Didn’t get in touch with the old crew.”

  We sit on my couch as I move wrapping paper out of the way. “I don’t hang out with them either. When things got rough at home, I had to focus there.”

  “Oh yeah, I heard about that. Sorry for your loss.”

  “Thanks. So, what’s new? Girlfriend? You were dating, um, Karen, right?”

  “Yeah, we broke up about a year ago.”

  “Oh, sorry.”

  “It’s okay. I’ve uh, slowly been opening up about some things.” I crease my brow as he continues. “I’m not entirely sure that I’m straight.”

  I nod. I always suspected. “Oh. How do you feel about that?”

  "Fine. It's just hard because my family is so religious, you know? I told my mom, and she's hoping it's a phase."

  “That must be rough.”

  “Yeah. I’ve been on a few dates. Not sure.”

  “Are you attracted?”

  “Sometimes. I still feel it for women sometimes too.”

  “Maybe you’re bi.”

  He nods. “Maybe. You’re not freaked out?”

  “Why would I be?”

  Eric shrugs. “People are weird sometimes. A few of my buddies don’t want to hang out anymore.”

  I put my hand over his. "That sucks, Eric. To me, you're the same person you always were. Who you sleep with at night doesn't affect me."

  “I wish that was everyone’s attitude.”

  “Me too.”

  “So, your neighbor, what’s his story?”

  “I don’t really know. I’ve only lived here a few weeks.”

  “He’s hot.”

  I laugh. “Yeah, he is. We’re getting to know each other.”

  “He didn’t seem happy to see me.”

  “He’s always like that. I thought he hated me at first. Turns out he just hates Christmas.”

  “And Mrs. Clause moves in next door.”

  We both laugh. “Basically. I figure he’ll warm up in January.”

  “Best of luck.” He smiles. “Well, I won’t keep you, but let’s get together and hang out. We’re practically neighbors ourselves.”

  “Definitely.”

  I walk Eric to the door and hug him once more before I lean against the doorframe watching him leave. I start to go inside, but Brendan’s door o
pens.

  “Hey.”

  “Hi, Brendan.”

  “You good?”

  “Yep. You?”

  “Yeah.”

  I try to pull my eyes off his incredible body, but it's hard when his hair is still wet from his shower, and his sweats reveal more about him than he might know.

  “How was your run?”

  “Good. Did your friend leave?”

  “Yeah, he just stopped by after bumping into my sister. Turns out he lives close.”

  “How do you know him?”

  “We went to high school together. Used to hang in the same crowd.”

  Brendan nods. “Okay.”

  Okay? “Is there something else you want to ask?”

  “No.”

  “You sure?”

  Brendan walks toward me, stopping so close to my face, I have to tilt my head to look at him. “Forgive me. I’m feeling inappropriately protective. You can take care of yourself.”

  I smile. “It’s okay. I appreciate your concern.”

  “Good. I’ll um, I’ll see you later.”

  “Sure.”

  We walk back in our homes, both of us glancing at each other as we go inside. I want to believe that interaction was driven by jealousy more than protectiveness, but even if Brendan does like me, we are about as opposite as you can get. It would never work, and then what? We're neighbors. That would be the epitome of awkward.

  I sit on the couch as a slow smile invades my face. Still, it would be kind of nice if he did like me. A girl can dream.

  Chapter Seven: Brendan

  What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m confronting her about who visits her? What right do I have? Even if that guy is interested in her, I have no right to care. But I do. I fucking care. I run my fingers through my hair as I slowly exhale. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt the way I did when I saw her arms around him. I didn’t even think I was capable of emotions like that, but jealousy seized me like a vice. What am I supposed to do now? I can’t pursue her. We’re polar opposites. If it didn’t work out, it would be awful living right next door. Could she even like me after how rude I’ve been? I don’t think hanging a few strings of lights is enough redemption. Still, she seems warm. She could like me. I can always hope.

  ~~~

  This is it. I’m doing it. I knock on her door, waiting for her to open it. I’m just going to say it. I’m going to tell her that I find her attractive, and I want to take her out. When the door opens, I step back.

  “Hey, man, can I help you?”

  I blink rapidly. “Uh, is Harper here?”

  “Yeah, she’s here.” He turns and calls her name.

  “Who is it, Eric?” She peers around him wearing nothing but a sheet wrapped around her. I see the fire roaring in the background, the champagne glasses, her dress strewn on the floor. “Hey, Brendan. What’s up?”

  “Um, nothing. I just came…”

  She smiles. “What?”

  “Are you with him?”

  She nods. “I couldn’t wait for you forever.” She steps closer. “I tried to get your attention, but you weren’t ready. I had to move on.”

  “Move on?”

  "You understand. A woman like me isn't going to wait around."

  Eric puts his arm around her shoulder. “You took too long, man. Now she’s mine.” He leans down and kisses her in front of me. I step back, feeling a searing pain in my chest.

  “I thought I had more time.”

  Harper looks at me. “We always think we do.”

  I sit up straight, breathing hard. Fuck. It was a dream. It wasn’t real. She’s not with him. Not yet. I can’t let that happen. I have to try. It might be a disaster, but I have to tell her. I have to.

  ~~~

  Hours later, after a restless night, I grab my phone and dial my assistant.

  “Morning, Brendan.”

  “Hey, Michelle. I’m not going to be in today.” She’s silent. “Michelle?”

  “You’re calling out?”

  “Yes. I know it’s unusual, but—”

  “Unusual? It’s unheard of. What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

  "No, I'm fine. Just something important came up, and I really need to handle it today. Everything's fine, and I'll be back tomorrow. If you could clear my calendar, I'd appreciate it."

  “Sure. Of course. No problem.”

  “Thanks. Have a good day.”

  “Uh, yeah, you too.”

  “I hope to." I hang up and throw on a pair of jeans and a sweater. In the two years Michelle has worked for me, I've never not come to work. I work the longest hours of anyone. I rarely take vacation. Judging from her reaction, apparently, I rarely tell her to have a nice day.

  I take a deep breath as I descend the stairs. Then I open my door and march over to Harper’s. I knock softly praying she’s alone. I hear her footsteps approaching as nervous energy grips me. When she opens the door, she graces me with her beautiful smile.

  “Good morning, Brendan. Everything okay?”

  I search her eyes for a moment, considering my next move. Instead of carefully measuring my reply, I let myself do what I've been dying to do for weeks. Taking a step forward, I cup her face. Her eyes open wide, but before she can speak, my lips are on hers. She tenses briefly but quickly melts into my arms. I walk us backward, pulling her closer and letting my hands slide up and down her back. Her fingers move into my hair, and suddenly, we’re falling back on her couch. I kiss her hard, then soft, then hard again. My lips wander away from her luscious mouth, down her neck and over every delicious inch of exposed skin. She breathes hard, gripping my arms, and gazing at me with the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen. My hand slides just under her skirt, gripping her thigh, as I gently nibble her bottom lip. While keeping her eyes on mine, she undoes two of her buttons, providing a glimpse of her bra and cleavage. Without hesitation, I bury my face between them, kissing and dragging my tongue over her flesh.

  “Brendan…” she moans.

  I rise, holding her gaze with mine. "Do you want me to stop?"

  “No. I never want you to stop.”

  I pull her arm gently until she’s upright. “I couldn’t hold it back anymore.”

  “Really?”

  “Really. Can you call out sick?" A slow smile spreads across her lips. "I want to spend the day with you. Can I?"

  “Yeah, we can do that.”

  I lean forward and kiss her again. Her breath catches slightly, and she moans just a little as I move away. “Awesome.”

  She pops off the couch and makes a phone call while I just take in what happened. That kiss. Man, it was amazing. Better than that. It changed me.

  When she comes back, she smiles hesitantly. “I called out. I’m gonna change clothes real quick.”

  “I’ll be here.”

  She walks upstairs, slowly, looking back at me as she does. I’m sure her mind is blown. So is mine if I think about it. When she returns, she’s changed into a t-shirt and yoga pants. Her hair that was pulled back is now down, sexily falling around her face.

  She smiles. “You sure you want to hang out?”

  “Absolutely. Why?”

  “I thought you might’ve come to.”

  I tilt my head. “What do you mean?”

  "Maybe you were just having some kind of episode or something, and you snapped out of it."

  “Come here.” She joins me on the couch. “I’ve been having some kind of episode for years. Your kiss snapped me out of it.”

  “That’s sweet.”

  “I have so many things I want to say, Harper.”

  She nods. “Okay.”

  As we sit I take her hand in mine. “You are so beautiful. The first day I saw you, I couldn’t get over it.”

  She blinks rapidly as her cheeks turn pink. “What?”

  “You are amazing. I’ve wanted to touch you, run my fingers through your hair, kiss your mouth. I couldn’t hold back anymore.”

  “What happened to yo
u? Until I fell off the roof, you barely spoke to me. Now you’re kissing me and telling me I’m beautiful. I don’t get it.”

  I nod. “Understandable. The truth is I avoided you, and I was rude to you to protect myself."

  “Protect?”

  “I found you attractive the minute I saw you, Harper. That day standing outside I thought wow, what a truly beautiful woman. She’s not hiding under layers of makeup. She’s just beautiful.”

  “That’s really nice.”

  “And then every time I saw you, all I could do was fight you off.”

  “But why?”

  I look away for a moment to compose myself. “Remember when you told me some things are too painful to talk about?”

  She nods. “Yes.”

  “Yeah, well, I have something like that in my life. I avoid people. Relationships, friends, even family. I’m…” I shake my head as I stand up and walk over to the window. Harper quickly follows, rubbing my back.

  “What is it, Brendan? You can tell me anything.”

  I look back at her, studying the kindness in her eyes. “I’m afraid, Harper. That’s why I avoided you. That’s why I was a dick. I’m afraid.”

  “Of what?”

  “Being hurt. Being left.”

  Her eyes soften as she reaches up and brushes her fingers across my cheek. “I understand.”

  “Do you?”

  “We all deal with hurt and loss in different ways. You must have lost someone you loved very much.”

  I nod, feeling my chest tighten whenever I think about it. “Yeah.”

  “Why did you come here today? Why did you kiss me?”

  “I saw you with that man. Eric. I imagined seeing you in his arms, and the feeling that caused in me was shocking. I realized that even though I tried to block you out, it didn’t work. You got under my skin, Harper Rose.”

  “You sound sad about it.”

  I twist around to face her. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I haven’t been in a relationship for years. I’ve stuffed my feelings down so far I don’t know how to get them back.”

  “Don’t you?” She smiles. “You’re here. You’re talking to me. You’re telling me things.”

  “I don’t deserve someone like you.”

  “What does that even mean? You barely know me. Maybe I’m a dick.”

  I laugh softly, cupping her cheek. “No way. You’re the happiest person I’ve ever met. You’re even making me feel some kind of happy. I hung Christmas lights for fuck sake.”