Hers

by Becca Jameson

  “So, you’re super aroused. You need to come. You would beg me to let you come right now, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then I’d say I’m a pretty effective Dom without striking you at all, right?”

  “Yes. Please.” Her legs shook. He held them wider, but they shook anyway.

  “Kayla.”

  One word, and she came to attention, focusing on his face again.

  “Finish.” He smiled.

  She exhaled and moaned softly as she resumed stroking herself, her fingers rougher this time, her need that much more urgent. She pinched and pulled on her clit and then thrust two fingers into her pussy and stroked across her G-spot. It was fast and furious. She came hard.

  It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t nearly as satisfying as when she came at Gage’s hand, but it took the edge off. And she was grateful he hadn’t left her hanging as she came down from her high.

  He released her, stood, and leaned over to kiss her lips. “Fucking hot, baby. Get dressed.” He glanced at his watch. “If we hurry, we can grab something at a drive thru on the way back to work.”

  Oh God. Work. She scrambled off the table, her body protesting every movement. Her weird lunch hour left her humming with more need than it had started out with.

  Gage was full of surprises.

  As she dressed, he went out back to get Thor.

  She grinned. That dog was not real. He was too easy. Had he gone straight out the doggy door when they arrived?

  On the drive back, Gage was good to his word. He stopped to grab them a quick bite and then chuckled. “You look a little peeved.”

  She realized her face was tense. “Maybe.”

  He took her chin and lowered his face to kiss her lips. “Good. I’m going to assume that means you didn’t get quite what you wanted without my hands on you.”

  She nodded against him. “True.”

  “Remember that when you sub for me.” He kissed her forehead. “There’s a new game in town, and I think my girlfriend likes it.”

  She wasn’t nearly as sure as he was, but she did like the way he said girlfriend.

  When they got back to the precinct, Gage let Thor out of the back seat and led them back inside. “I’m gonna meet Zane at the gym after work. You want me to come by later?”

  “Sure. You want me to cook?”

  “You want to kill me?”

  She grinned. “Maybe you should bring takeout.”

  “Maybe I should.” He squeezed her hand as they entered the front door, but left it at that.

  She was glad. She wasn’t sure yet how she felt about the entire police academy being privy to their relationship. Sure, everyone probably already had the gist of it, but that didn’t mean she wanted to start flaunting excessive PDA.

  Gage was perfect.

  Chapter Twelve

  “How’re your parents?” Zane asked as Gage set the weights he’d been curling back on the rack.

  “Good. The same.” He shrugged. Of all the guys, Zane knew the situation with his parents the best. He was the EMT on call when his dad had his stroke.

  “Did you see them Sunday?”

  “Yep. Same as usual.”

  “Did you take Kayla?”

  Gage frowned. “Hell no.”

  “What do you mean ‘hell no?’”

  “She doesn’t even know where I was. Not ready for that.” He shook his head. No way in the world he was going to bring Kayla over to his parents’ house yet. Wasn’t on his radar. Though he had felt a cringe of weirdness when he told her he wouldn’t be with her on Sunday.

  “Seriously? Dude, you two are like an item. A thing.”

  “Yeah. So?”

  “So, your mom has been waiting for this day for years. Why would you leave them guessing? They’re gonna love Kayla.”

  “Yeah. I know. But I’m not ready.”

  “Ready for what? An invitation? I’m not following.” Zane stepped around the weight rack and got in Gage’s space. Too close.

  Gage backed up. Zane was a close friend. Super close. But he was on Gage’s last nerve. “Kayla needs a firm Dom right now. She’s been through some serious shit. It would be confusing to her to see me in a different role yet.”

  “What the— Are you for real? What’s confusing about having dinner with a man’s parents? She totally digs you, man. I can tell by the look in her eyes that you walk on water for her. I don’t think she expects to submit to you in front of your parents. She’s not stupid.”

  Gage turned to another weight machine, preparing to work his thighs. He knew that. It had nothing to do with her submitting to him. “You know how I am with my dad,” he muttered.

  Zane hesitated.

  Gage hoped Zane was done with his tirade.

  “How’s that, Gage? Loving? Doting? Scared?”

  Gage flinched. “Yeah, that.” Shit. What was Zane driving at? He wasn’t ready to share that side of himself. What was wrong with that?

  “You need to rethink this, dude. I’m not kidding. You’re wrong. I don’t care what Kayla has been through, and I’m not even asking. I’m just saying, she’s a smart girl. You won’t fuck her up by letting her see your softer side.”

  Gage pushed his leg out and breathed through the maneuver. Those words rang in Gage’s head as Zane gave up the cause and walked to another machine. Maybe Zane was right., but it wasn’t a chance Gage was willing to take yet. Besides Kayla being used to seeing him as a firm Dom with all his ducks in a row, unflustered by anything, he had to admit a part of him was simply unwilling to open himself up to that level of vulnerability. The kind of vulnerability he felt when he sat with his dad, talking to him for hours, fighting back tears a man shouldn’t have to shed for his parents.

  He wasn’t ready for her pity or the looks. It made his stomach clench thinking about it. Besides, it was a lot to ask of a woman to visit his dad. It wasn’t pretty. It was excruciating. He’d only been dating her for a few weeks.

  But you know damn well those few weeks were fast paced and catapulted you forward quickly.

  •●•

  Kayla was a little confused on Wednesday afternoon when she got a text from Gage saying he would be busy that evening, but he would see her tomorrow night.

  Unease crept up her spine as she set the phone on her desk. She’d brushed off her concerns on Sunday, but again on Wednesday? He didn’t say he was going to the gym or even the club. He gave her that same vague “busy.”

  On the one hand, she knew she was being unreasonable and needed to lighten up. And she flat out refused to consider the idea he might be lying to her by omission about something important. On the other hand, why did he persist in giving her such vague details? Sure, they hadn’t been together long, but was there more to Gage than met the eye? Even though they’d only been dating a few weeks, she’d been with him nearly every moment they weren’t working since Friday night—except during his vague Sunday disappearance—and now this.

  When five o’clock rolled around, she walked out front with Marci. Gage was nowhere in sight, and his Jeep was gone.

  Marci smiled. “What are you lovebirds doing tonight?”

  Kayla cringed. “Apparently nothing. He’s got other things to do.”

  “What other things?” Marci’s brows furrowed.

  “Good question,” Kayla muttered. She lifted her gaze to Marci, squinting one eye at the sun going down behind her. “Does it seem strange to you he has twice this week told me he needed to do some things without explaining what they were?”

  Marci pursed her lips and tipped her head back to stare at the sky for a moment. When she brought her gaze back to Kayla’s, she cocked one hip and blew out a breath. “A little weird, yes. But Gage is a good guy. I’m sure he has his reasons. I can’t imagine him doing anything that would jeopardize his relationship with you. It isn’t like him.”

  “Yeah. I’m just being paranoid.” Kayla shuffled toward her Camry. “See you tomorrow, Marci.”

  Kayla drove h
ome tense. Her chat with Marci hadn’t helped. Clearly even Marci found his behavior odd.

  Nerves ate a hole in her while she waited to see if he would text. Flashbacks of her past drove her to ball up on the couch and sit in the silence. She hated where her mind went as the sun went down and she was left in the dark. She didn’t care. She rocked back and forth with her arms around her knees.

  She never should have gotten involved with Gage in the first place. She wasn’t ready. She knew that. She also knew she would never be ready to get into another serious relationship. And she didn’t care. That’s how damaged she was. She could even acknowledge that, and it didn’t change anything.

  When Simon swooped into her life, she’d been alone, scared, vulnerable, and desperate. He’d filled every void. He was the perfect gentleman. He convinced her to move halfway across the country with him within a week. Too fast.

  Warning bells had rung, but she’d ignored them. With her dad gone, the only real support she had in the world was the chief of police. Chief Edwards had been like an uncle to her for years, and he did everything in his power to ensure she was taken care of after the funeral. He gave her a job and paid her tuition at the local junior college.

  And she threw all that away without glancing back. Part of her knew she was making a mistake from the moment she’d consented, but the rest of her ignored the feeling. Simon was her everything, or so she thought. She ignorantly allowed him to whisk her to a twenty-four-hour chapel in her own town where she married him with stars in her eyes before following him to the naval air base he was stationed at in Mississippi.

  He’d been on leave, vacationing in Vegas when they met at a local pizza parlor. She was there eating alone, studying for a history exam, when he slid into the booth next to her and smiled so broadly, she almost swallowed her tongue. Rugged. Handsome. And in uniform.

  She was barely twenty and a virgin. Simon was twenty-five and horny as hell.

  From the moment she set foot in Mississippi, she’d been filled with dread. But she wasn’t a quitter. And determined to make the best of her situation, she forced herself to be the perfect wife. The job wasn’t easy. Simon changed his tune the second they arrived. His on-base apartment was cramped. Kayla didn’t know a soul. And he insisted she stay home during the day, taking care of lists of things he left her. He didn’t want her making friends and “dallying around with the other lazy wives on base.”

  Within a month, Simon introduced her to the life of dominance and submission. She was scared out of her mind at first. But Simon had lit up when she consented. She wanted to please him so badly, anything to keep him smiling and happy. The task was monumental. Nothing made Simon happy. Ever. Not blowjobs, not sex, not submission, not house cleaning, not hot meals.

  He needed more and more intense dominance to get off as the years passed. Kayla had let him. The first time he spanked her, she cried the entire next day. They’d been married over a year by then. The transition to hard-core BDSM had been gradual. When Simon got home and found out she hadn’t completed all her tasks, he beat her again, stripping her naked and tying her to their bed on her belly.

  After that, Kayla learned to go into her head when he spanked her, what she now knew was a subspace. She even learned to enjoy it. And he always fucked her hard afterward, not a care in the world for her release. He was the only one who mattered. The spanking had been a turning point. After Simon had a taste of hitting her, he became insatiable. He stopped seeing to her pleasure all together and seemed to only get off and relax after taking a hand to her. And then he started seeing other women.

  She shivered, leaning back against the couch and staring into the darkness. The first sign she had that Simon was unfaithful was his unexplained absences. Simon would leave her alone on the naval base for hours when she knew he wasn’t at work. He would come back late at night, smelling of booze and perfume. When she questioned him, things really went south. That night was the first time he broke her skin. He beat her with his belt, leaving abrasions all over her ass and thighs that kept her from sitting down for days.

  He apologized afterward, the one and only time he ever did such a thing, and only because she threatened to leave him. Instead, he insisted he would get help, which meant he spent even more evenings away from home under the pretense of going to counseling.

  Ironically, Kayla learned to enjoy being beaten. Twisted. Absurd. Stupid. But she taught herself to escape under his hand or his flogger, and the euphoria she experienced was better than sex. By then, he often didn’t fuck her afterward. He said she was too dry anyway. He wasn’t about to put his cock into her frigid cunt. If she couldn’t manage to get wet for him, he wouldn’t fuck her.

  And that was fine with her. Besides, she knew he was fucking any number of other women. The last thing she wanted was a venereal disease at the hands of her husband.

  The best day of her life had been the day he came home and announced he was being deployed to Iraq. She would never forget the elation she felt hearing that news. It lasted about two seconds, however, when he informed her he would be taking her to live with his parents in the most rural, godforsaken part of the South she’d ever visited.

  She’d met his parents on eight occasions by then, none of them joyous. Every Christmas and one week in July Simon had driven them two hundred miles to Alabama to visit his parents in their rundown shack on several acres of wooded property. She knew within minutes of the first visit where Simon got his cruel genes. They came honestly, from both parents.

  Kayla rolled onto her side, still in a tight ball, tears now running down her face as she forced herself to remember the details of her former life. She had learned from those mistakes. Right? Her inherent distrust for men was at the top of the list.

  And the bottom line was she needed to take stock of her relationship with Gage. She was on the same path of destruction as before. Even though she’d known him for two years on the periphery, and he was a member of law enforcement, she didn’t know him well enough to have gone all in. Stupid. What were you thinking?

  Gage was still a man. Sure, he seemed kind and loving. But so had Simon at first. And she couldn’t ignore the fact Gage was in the military himself before she met him. Maybe the dominant mindset was something men picked up from that experience. It wasn’t farfetched. After all, it was easy to see why a man who spent all day taking commands from others might want to escape in the evening and dominate his wife or girlfriend.

  She never should have gone to Extreme in the first place. It was like a drug to her. She spent months avoiding the lifestyle after returning to Vegas. But the pull was always there. She longed for the euphoria that came from being spanked.

  And it was her own fault for not keeping it simple. She never should have let Gage get into her head. Had she learned nothing from Simon? This was exactly how things had started to go downhill with Simon. He gave her vague, lame excuses for not being home. It took her a while to find out he was cheating on her.

  When her arms started hurting from holding herself in such a tight ball, she finally uncurled and stood on wobbly legs. She padded to her room in the dark, used the bathroom, and climbed into bed with no more than the light from the moon through her partially open blinds. She hadn’t eaten, and she didn’t care.

  All she wanted was to escape. And since spanking wasn’t a remote possibility tonight, she took the next best choice—sleep.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Where’s Kayla?” Gage leaned over the counter the following morning, facing a frantic Marci, who held up a finger as she explained to someone on the other end of the phone she held against her shoulder that they’d most assuredly gotten the police academy, not the actual precinct. Kayla’s desk was littered with papers in front of Marci, and she reached down to tap on the mouse in front of her computer as she spoke. Multi-tasking at its best.

  Finally, she hung up. By then Thor had rounded the desk and brushed his head against her leg. “Hey, pal. Want to help out at the front today?
” she asked the dog.

  “Where’s Kayla?” Gage repeated.

  “Called in sick.” She cocked her head, her brows furrowed. “You haven’t spoken to her?”

  He shook his head, unease making him stiffen. “I was out kind of late last night. Didn’t get to talk to her.” He pushed off the desk and pulled out his cell, texting quickly before he finished talking.

  Marci spoke again. “Yeah, she mentioned you had other things to do last night.”

  He lifted his head as he finished the text to Kayla.

  “Gage.” Her voice was kind of stern.

  He met her gaze. “What?”

  “I think you hurt her feelings. Were you at your parents’ house?”

  “Yeah.” He furrowed his brow. “Why?”

  “Why didn’t you just tell her that?” Marci bit her lower lip and shook her head. “Never mind. It’s none of my business.” She turned her gaze away from him.

  “No you don’t. What were you going to say?”

  Marci blew out a breath. “Look. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

  “But you did. So spit it out.”

  Marci hedged, finally slumping in her chair. “Gage, why haven’t you taken her with you? And why have you left her to wonder where the hell you go when you’re at your mom and dad’s?”

  Gage sucked in a breath. Shit.

  As secretary to the chief of police, Marci knew about Gage’s dad. It wasn’t a huge secret, but he’d been pretty quiet about it anyway. Besides Chief Edwards, Marci, and Rider, Gage didn’t think anyone else at the precinct knew about his family situation.

  Gage stared at her. “What’s up with you people?”

  “Pardon?” She lifted both brows.

  Gage felt a little ganged up on between Zane and Marci. “My friend Zane asked me the same thing. Can’t a man visit his parents without taking his new girlfriend?”

  “Sure, unless his new girlfriend has tipped his world upside down and is with him nearly every other waking hour at work and at home, and I’ll venture to guess some of the sleeping hours also. Then no. It’s a little odd.”