Hers

by Becca Jameson

  Gage grinned down at her. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.” He turned and padded from the room, still naked, his fantastic firm ass and the red, white, and blue tattoo on his shoulder giving her the best view.

  The room was quite dark by then, the sun having slipped behind the horizon. She felt two conflicting sensations that made her somewhat nauseous at the thought of food. The sense of peace she had in Gage’s bed, in his house, in his life, was enough to make her grab on to that lifeline and ride it to the end of the Earth.

  On the flip side, she needed to talk to him, and she wasn’t looking forward to the conversation. She knew in her heart her resolve to keep those four years buried for the rest of her life would no longer work. Not with the way she felt about Gage. Not after what he’d given her of himself. Not after the look she saw in his eyes every time she met his gaze.

  He deserved to know.

  But what happened after that? What if he looked at her differently?

  Kayla turned over again and moaned into the pillow. She knew Gage was bringing food, but it would have to wait. There was no way she could swallow a single bite with this weight on her shoulders. She pulled herself to sitting, grabbed the blanket from the foot of the bed, and wrapped it around her.

  She found herself drawn to the window, the rays of light coming in from outside pulling her for some reason. Or perhaps it was the window itself that called to her. It was an inviting bay window stuffed with pillows in a variety of dark colors, almost feminine in an otherwise masculine room.

  She smiled as she settled into the space, wondering if Gage’s mother, Aletha, had helped him decorate. She leaned against the wall, drew her knees up, and hugged herself in the cocoon of blanket, pillows, and moonlight.

  “Baby?”

  She hadn’t heard him enter. Surprising. But then again, her mind had gone to another time. When Kayla turned her head to see him, he was arranging several plates on the bed. He took one step toward her.

  “Don’t.”

  At her one word and the undoubtedly commanding tone, he froze. “Kayla?”

  She turned her head back to the window and watched the tree limbs waving back and forth gracefully in the breeze. All she could hear was the rustle of the branches and her own breaths for long moments.

  Gage had taken her advice. He didn’t move another inch.

  She didn’t look back toward him. She took a deep breath finally, and started, “His name was Simon.” She squeezed her eyes closed, cringing at the sound of the bastard’s name. When she opened them again, she was ready to continue. “I met him here in Vegas. At a pizza joint, actually.”

  She thought she heard Gage settle onto the bed. He didn’t say a word, for which she was grateful. She needed to get this out and not be interrupted.

  “His smile when he slid into my booth froze me in my tracks. I couldn’t even swallow the bite I was chewing. I was barely twenty years old. My father had just died. I was working for Chief Edwards and going to school. I was actually studying in that booth when he took over my life.

  “And that’s about how it happened. One minute I was me, and the next minute I was some other person, unrecognizable. That’s the pull he had on me.

  “I fell fast and hard. Stupid.” She paused, pursing her lips while she tried to pull herself together and keep from letting her emotions rush in. “In less than a week Simon managed to convince me we were destined for each other. And I fell for it. He whisked me to a chapel right here in my own town, slapped a ring on my finger, and then packed me up and moved me all the way across the country to a naval base in Mississippi.”

  Gage gasped at that, but he held his tongue. Thank God.

  She’d never told him a thing about Simon. Everything he knew he’d pieced together for himself, but that hadn’t included the fact her previous Dom had been in the military. There was no way for him to know that.

  “It was sunshine and roses at first, but not for long. Simon isolated me. He didn’t want me to leave the base apartment. He didn’t want me to meet the other wives, not even those of his friends. He said they would taint me with their lazy greed. He seemed to think all of them had married their husbands to get a cushy life of luxury. As if life in a dinky apartment on a naval base was so wonderful.

  “I tried to be what he needed. Honestly I did. But it was hard. By the time I realized what a huge mistake I had made, it was too late. I should have gone home. I could have called Chief Edwards and asked for help or money, but my stupid pride got in the way. I was embarrassed. And as my problems mounted, it only got worse.

  “There was no way to please Simon. He belonged to a fetish club, and he started bringing me there. The first time, I was scared out of my mind. He chose what I wore and set down rules I couldn’t begin to remember all at once.

  “And then he would punish me. At first he did so by making fun of me in front of his friends at the club. He would taunt me and laugh at me. He would expose me to anyone he wanted. I was so innocent that I nearly died of embarrassment. And then when he couldn’t get off from that alone, he started spanking me and later escalated to beating me.” She paused, ducking her head and staring at her knees, trying to gather her emotions so she could continue.

  Gage whispered through the darkness. “Baby, you don’t have to—”

  “No, I do,” she interrupted. “Let me finish.” She lifted her gaze back to the moonlight and continued. “The first time he spanked me was at home. I’m not going to sugarcoat it. It wasn’t pretty. He was mad about something I did or didn’t do that day. I have no idea what it was. It was always something. The lists he left me each morning were ridiculous and long.

  “My butt hurt so bad after that beating, I couldn’t sit down the next day. And this made him delirious with laughter. When he spanked me at the club, he did so for an audience. He would strip me, attach me to a bench or cross, and whip me just enough to keep people from questioning him. How he managed to avoid drawing blood when we were in public I have no idea. But he saved the real beatings for the house.”

  Deep breaths. Kayla thought back to those times and cringed. “No one at the club knew what happened in our home in private. He was very careful that way. And I was learning. There were rules in that lifestyle. If you bent the rules, you wouldn’t be permitted to enter the club. So, Simon followed the rules, skirting the edges when we were in public.

  “I watched the other interactions at the club. Month after month, year after year. I longed for the type of relationship other women had. I saw Doms that took care of their submissives like they worshipped them. I craved that. I never had it, but I craved it.

  “I wouldn’t have said I was submissive before I met Simon, but years of submitting to him opened my eyes to what others had. I sat for many an hour on my knees in a corner of that club and witnessed. And then I learned to take something from the spanking and flogging I was subjected to. I learned to withdraw from this world and enter a different space while Simon’s hand tormented me.

  “Instead of concentrating on his intentions, which were all ill-conceived, I let myself slip into a sort of subspace that released me from this world in a way. I learned to like it. I learned to crave it. When Simon beat me, I escaped. Those were the best times, and I looked forward to them, as sick as that may sound.

  “Even at home when he hit me hard enough to draw blood, I escaped. He rarely fucked me after the first year of our marriage, saying I was dry and frigid. And he was right. There was no way for me to get aroused at his hand. He was a sick bastard. I know this now.”

  She sucked in a deep breath and let tears run down her face. There was no way to avoid them. She wiped them with the back of her hand.

  Gage moved. She didn’t stop him. He came toward her slowly. She heard every footstep. She knew he did this on purpose to keep from scaring her. Finally, he was behind her. He set his hands on her shoulders, scooted her forward, and climbed into the window seat at her back.

  When he pulled her into his arms,
wrapping her tight in his embrace, she knew she would be okay. She leaned her cheek on his arm. They sat in silence for a while. There was more to say, but she needed this time to just be first.

  Minutes went by. “You left him.” It wasn’t a question. Gage was simply prodding her for the rest of the story.

  She shook her head. “I’m not sure if I ever would have left him. I was too far gone. I was lost. But I got lucky. He was deployed to Iraq. Or I thought I was lucky. Instead of leaving me in peace at the naval base, he dragged me to a remote area in Alabama and left me with his parents.

  “I’d met them many times. We visited them twice a year. And I’d known from the first moment I met them where Simon got his nastiness. They were awful humans who saw about as much value in me as Simon did. He dumped me at their cabin and warned me to behave and do as they said, or I would pay big time when he got back.”

  Gage stroked her head with one hand, brushing her hair from her face. He kissed her gently over and over on her forehead, but didn’t interrupt.

  “The situation with his parents was worse. I was like a living Cinderella immediately. But for some reason I started to grow a spine. These people were nothing to me. Why the hell would I stay and take their abuse? It was one thing to live with an abusive husband. It was another thing to live with his vile parents.

  “It took months. They had no Internet. No cell service. I decided the best tactic was to pretend to be the best daughter-in-law I could be. This earned me privileges. As soon as his parents decided they could trust me to behave, they started sending me into town to the store or the post office. And that was when I got my break. I watched people. I made acquaintances. Eventually, I befriended an older woman at the grocery store who knew Simon’s family. I could tell by the way she looked at me that she knew. She knew. Estelle Forester saved my life.

  “She was so kind, and I finally opened up to her over a cup of coffee on one of my trips to town. She immediately helped me get a lawyer in town who started divorce proceedings. I was ecstatic. It took another few days, but the second I had the paperwork signed and delivered, I didn’t return to the house. Copies were sent to Simon overseas and to his parents. I thought I was free. All I needed was enough money to get out of Alabama and I could return to Vegas.

  “Mrs. Forester let me stay with her. I hid at her home, actually. No one knew where I was. I didn’t want to risk any wrath coming her way in town, so I hid. I gained strength while she took care of me. Simon’s parents asked around for me, but no one breathed a word. The only people who knew where I was were Estelle and the lawyer.

  “The Bollings found their car in town, but they finally assumed I had run away. All the while I was right there in Mrs. Forester’s house.” Kayla took a deep breath and relaxed farther into Gage’s embrace. He held her tight. She let relief sweep over her.

  “So eventually you got the money to come home to Vegas?”

  “Not exactly. It was even better than that. I was waiting on the papers to be served. It takes time when someone is overseas to accomplish that. And then I got a lucky break.” She shivered, well aware how insane it was that she considered Simon’s death to be a blessing. But it was. “He was killed in combat.”

  “Jesus.”

  “Yeah. Roadside bomb took out everyone in his Hummer. There wasn’t even enough left of him to send home. All the Navy had was DNA evidence that he’d been there.

  “And I was free.”

  “God, baby.” He twisted to one side and turned her face to his. “I’m so sorry.”

  She smiled wanly. “It’s over. I’m safe.” Sort of. She wiped her eyes again. “I rented a car, went back to the base, settled everything with the Navy, and cleared out the savings account. It wasn’t much, but it was something. I never even entered the apartment we shared. I then got on the first flight to Vegas.”

  “My God. So, Simon never signed the divorce papers?”

  “Never even saw them.”

  “So all the benefits are yours.”

  She nodded, but dipped her head. She couldn’t meet his gaze. Telling him that saga was all she could manage for today. The rest would have to wait.

  He squeezed her tighter until she couldn’t breathe. “You’re an amazing woman.”

  Those words shocked her. Not what she’d expected. She didn’t consider herself amazing. She was simply a survivor, and at that she had been lucky more than anything else. No telling what might have happened if Simon had lived to see the divorce papers. Her life might have been easier if he’d signed them, cutting her loose.

  Gage scooted them to the edge of the window seat and lifted her into his arms. He walked across the room and deposited her on the bed, shoving the plates of sandwiches and chips to one side. He hovered over her, his body smashing her to the mattress, his hands cupping her face. “I love you.”

  She gasped, her mouth falling open.

  “I mean it. Don’t say anything now. I know it’s soon. But I wanted you to know. If you thought anything you just told me would turn me away from you, you were wrong. I love you, Kayla. And we’ll work through all of this and come out victorious.”

  She nodded, another tear slipping free to run down her cheek.

  Gage wiped it away, kissed her gently, and held her tight until she fell back asleep. Food could wait. She was exhausted. Years of stress had slipped from her body, leaving her depleted. The last thing she knew as she drifted off was Gage’s soft mouth on her cheek.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Warm lips touched hers, nibbling a path to her ear. Panting and wetness landed on the other side of her face. Kayla smiled as she realized Thor was next to her. She opened her eyes a slit to find the dog watching her intently. “When did you get here, big guy?”

  She lifted an arm to wrap around his softness.

  The voice from her other side was teasing. “Ah, I see how I rate now. Not, hey Gage. Not even a kiss.” He chuckled.

  “Mmm.” Kayla buried her face in Thor’s neck. “That’s about how it is. Dogs are more loyal. They love you unconditionally.”

  “I’m loyal. And I promise to love you unconditionally.”

  Kayla stiffened. Was it really possible for Gage to be in love with her so soon? Of course, it wasn’t really soon if you considered how long they’d known each other. But their relationship hadn’t been at a measurable level until a few weeks ago.

  “Zane brought him over a little while ago. He bounded right into the bedroom and took up a spot next to you. It’s like he’s some sort of protector.”

  “He knows who loves him and gives him the best treats.”

  “You’ve been feeding my dog treats behind my back?” He chuckled again.

  Kayla turned to face Gage with a grin.

  “You need to get up, baby. You need to eat. You haven’t had a bite all day.”

  She pulled herself to sitting. She was still exhausted from the great reveal, but she felt a sense of relief also. The bulk of her secrets had been revealed. She cringed as she admitted to herself that she still carried the most important one of all, one Gage wouldn’t be remotely happy to hear about. But that was precisely the reason she would keep it to herself. “Feed me,” she announced as she stood on wobbly legs. “What time is it?”

  “Almost midnight.”

  Thor jumped to the ground beside her, his head rubbing against her leg.

  “That dog is spoiled.” Gage came around to her side. He’d pulled on a pair of jeans that sat low on his hips and left his delicious broad chest open for perusal.

  Kayla licked her lips and leaned against his pecs.

  “Uh uh.” Gage took her shoulders and held her back. “Don’t start that. Food first and then I’ll think about claiming my dessert from between your legs.”

  Kayla shivered as he spoke. The idea of Gage settled between her legs, his lips on her pussy, made her grow automatically wet with need. But she couldn’t deny she was hungry, and the smells coming from the kitchen made her mouth water. “You cooked?
”

  “Yep.” He took her hand and tugged her toward the door.

  She tugged back. “I need clothes.”

  He firmed his grip. “No you don’t.” He turned his head and winked. “I like you naked.”

  “Not while I eat.”

  “Yes, while you eat. And if you don’t stop arguing, I’ll make you sit on the table with your legs spread and feed you myself.”

  She clamped her lips shut and followed him, knowing he would do such a thing, and not entirely sure she wouldn’t enjoy the idea.

  An hour later, she was once again in his bed. She couldn’t lift her arms off the mattress because all her energy had been depleted by his dessert. The man had spread her wide and laid claim to her pussy as though he were starving and hadn’t just eaten the most delicious spaghetti she’d ever tasted.

  After bringing her to a quick delightful orgasm with his tongue flicking over her clit, he now plunged that tongue into her channel, fucking her rapidly while managing to stroke across her G-spot.

  “Gage…” She couldn’t take much more. She was too sensitive.

  His response was to hold her tighter, his hands grasping her thighs above her knees and pressing them higher and wider. And then he sucked.

  She nearly shot off the bed when he added that pressure. She burrowed her hands in his hair and tugged, but he didn’t relent. His mouth and lips and tongue moved everywhere, eating her so thoroughly her vision blurred. It was too soon. She’d come less than a minute ago.

  He didn’t see it that way. In his book it was never too soon for a second orgasm. And he intended to deliver.

  Kayla stiffened, her hands no longer pulling on his head, but switching to holding him down as her arousal peaked again. “OhGodohGod.” She twisted her head to one side and tried to catch a breath, but that tongue…

  Gage shifted so his shoulder held her leg open. He sucked her clit into his mouth and used his free hand to thrust a finger into her pussy.

  If she could have lifted her body off the bed, she would have, but he was stronger, and she was occupied with too many thoughts of floating to get her leg muscles to listen to her brain cells.